trigjones

Ok, I am hoping that I can get some feedback from guys in their later 20's, early 30's that have had this done...

So, for starters, I am 27, turning 28 in 6 months. I've never been married, or came even close to the idea, and I've dated a lot, had a couple of long term relationships, as long as 4 years. I am very outgoing, not a shut in, and have a stable career, etc. No strange living in my mom's basement tendencies. I have never had an interest in kids. I like 'em, and they like me. I have that whole nurturing instinct, but don't ever want to deal with the responsibility. I decided at 17 I didn't want kids, and haven't changed my mind for the last decade.

Babies, especially, gross me the F out. I think they are one of the ugliest things on the planet behind manatees. I don't think there is a "miracle of childbirth", you had sex, that's the result. 18-25 years of responsibility. I'd rather live a simple life of just me and my girl, or wife if it comes to that. I want to explore the world, and have all the free time I want with my partner.

I never want to travel to Disneyland, or drop my kid off at their first day of school. All that sounds really great for some people, but like a waste of time and money for me. I don't need to relive those experiences, and I am 100% positive if I never have kids, I won't regret making that choice.

If I did have kids, however, I would adopt. And only adopt. I think that its selfish to reproduce when there are kids out there in shitty foster homes that need good parents.

The main reason I don't want kids are...
A. I hear this a lot. "I am good looking, so I want to have a kid because they will be cute/hot." I hear this reason a lot from women. I don't really care what my genes + someone else's will create.
B. I don't need someone to carry on the family name, plenty of Joneses out there.
C. Because I wasn't raised in a very good family environment, quite the opposite, I don't think I would be able to provide a good foundation for a kid to grow up normal.


So, are there any guys out there that have normal lives, ie job, hobbies, and a wife that passed up raising a family and feel good about it? Regrets, thoughts, anything.... I have my opinion, but since I am making an appt this month to get snipped, I want to make sure I have as many viewpoints as possible.

dsastr_clan

i think the same way as you do but i dont think you should do a vasectomy at least for now maybe later down the road, but number one it will influence in your love life for sure it will be hard for a woman to take seriously and adapt to you from the beginning of the relationship rather also i hava heard that in some cases a vasectomy can get very painful

EhrikETFG

how does having a vasectomy influence your love life? your just sore for awhile and then everything is cool lol

ESmorz

Women in their late 20's - early 30's are usually quite aware that their biological clock is ticking, and are frantically looking for just about any stable and working dick to plant inside them.

So, just don't tell them about the vasectomy till later on.

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dsastr_clan

what Esmore said

trigjones

Every recent girlfriend has said they'd leave if they knew kids weren't in the future. My sister asked "What happens if you meet the right girl and she wants to have kids?" Told her the right girl for me doesn't want kids either.

In response to Dsastar, if I haven't changed my mind yet in 10 years, despite tons of conversations and research, why wait till I'm 30? I can't see anything changing mentally between now and then...

Am I doomed by my biological clock, will i hit 40 and all of a sudden realize I'll die alone and really want kids, or do I just try life without 'em? 90% of the world has families, and most lead predictable lives, but I am always wondering where things will go if I change it up.

dsastr_clan

^ because sometimes it gets too freaking painful (congestive epididymitis), jump on the health forums and look it up in cases people reverse the vasectomy but that messes with your ..ahem performance and such. You dont want to have those issues now when you are young, maybe when you are old and cant get it up anymore LOLZ

trigjones

I hadn't heard about that side effect, I'll look it up though.

I read a story on here about the dude who never told his gf about his vasectomy till after she got preggers. I usually have a convo with everyone I date about birth control. If they say they would never have an abortion or take Plan B, I don't date them or sleep with them, condom or not.

reed1285

i have two coworkers (both of which are early 30's) who had it done who said if they had it to do over again they wouldnt do it...they said it was painful and since you are awake during the whole procedure (even tho it only takes 10-15 mns) it made them sick to their stomach and one even said he started to gag lol....u cant see whats going on down there when they do it....but you know whats happening. and they both agreed that afterwards it "makes them feel like less of a man shooting blanks"

ive also been told that its harder to get insurance to approve it if youve never had kids. and thats its easier for you to get it done if you have a couple of kids.

good luck with your decision

deolio

they are reversible right? if you change your mind get it reversed. or freeze some of your sperm and have your partner's egg artificially inseminated.

i'd say go for it. if you don't want kids right now and you get a girl pregnant odds are you're going to be a shitty parent. the word doesn't need any more shitty parents that aren't ready for the responsibility of a child or can't financially afford it.



i'd find boring if it didn't make a mess all over my gf's though...

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Wake

my dad had a vasectomy, says he got it right with me doesnt need another.

Anyway they arent that bad or painful, they are reversible and it ensures that you get to live the life you wanted. I have also been considering this for a couple years especially since i dont even know any chicks i would want to have a kid with let alone be connected to them somehow for the rest of my life.

My plan was to get some sperm frozen then get a vasectomy, then when and if i do get married/find a partner we can just get her inseminated and we are good to go.

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trigjones

First off, thanks for all the great responses. I briefly considered throwing this up on 4chan, glad I didn't. Last surgery was on my hand, and I was awake and could feel the scapel going in... was creepy, I started to hyper ventilate, but as soon as they turned off the jazz music I was fine.

I've heard about the less of a man stuff, I feel pretty detached from life in general, only concern would be drunk sex with a random from a bar wouldn't be as fun if I wasn't worried about a phone call months later.... but I also want to responsible, especially at my age. Not sure if my potency or ability to reproduce matters

raz0rbladez909

He speaks the truth, my wifes friend is fucking nuts and is just like desperate to get knocked up she doesn't care if the guy stays around or not. lol

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dsastr_clan

if she is cute give her my number if not have her bring me a 30 pack first

Pure_JDM

If you have to post this question on a car forum, then I would advise a vasectomy...

xpertsnowcarver

^^ Hahaha. Moted!!

I think you guys should to leave your nuts alone.... Put 'em to use, donate some cream. Haha

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trigjones

I could ask my friends, which I've done, and ask all the people i know with kids. This is the only forum I'm ever on anyway.

raz0rbladez909

There is a reason I said desperate

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FRpilot

true... most chicks know they don't have much time to have kids compared to a man (who can be 70 and still make babies, although i don't know why a dude would want to be a father at 70). the older women get, the harder it is to get pregnant and also higher risk for their new born to have problems like down syndrome.

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HyperTek

my hats off to you for being responsible. i know too many people who have kids from the first fuck.. they dont look happy. The only people I see who look remotely happy are the slightly older couples in thier late 20s /early 30s having children when they are financially fit. Shit you see alot of women just let themselves go after settling down after the first kid.. that sucks. or even both male and female start to look like shit, gain weight and then your stuck if things dont work out with her and your now fat.

Shit your 27, im gonna be 27 in 2 months, sometimes talking to people makes me feel late in the game, but ff em. Kids are not for everyone. At least not now.

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dominic52

so unnatural...

Banana_Cute

Hey my neighbor is looking for new owners of their litter.

Seems to me, you're gonna need a few. j/k

but on a real note.

I say do it, I mean its good you're thinking ahead. Though it might not be such in the positive side, atleast you wont be those other people that bones and will jst leave his wife and kid because he didnt want it to happen.

Gotta say though im 24 with a 12 month old. Its a life changing situation, depending on how you look at it. Cant complain my lil dude following me to the garage and wrenching away already. Following you around everywhere you go.

I guess you just do you. I mean its always the same meaning when they say " to each on its own"..when it comes to life, car, career.

GL.

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raz0rbladez909

You know in every post you've made you haven't said anything more than 2 or 3 words, quit postwhoring it up if you have nothing to contribute.

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JVD

Sounds like you've got a case of the uglies.

trigjones

I am a self described fatist, and I have a hard enough time staying fit now that my metabolism is starting to slow down, and f*ck if I'm gonna be stuck with a whale just because its either put up with it and stay, or leave and pay child support.

I've seen posts/dating ads on Craigslist by girls saying "when you are in love, weight shouldn't matter".

I freaking love my nephew, and have an awesome time hanging out with him (he's 4 now), and its cool carrying him around on my shoulder, going to the park, but by the 2nd day, I'm hounding my sister to take him back. If I had to pick between going to a cool new brewery with my girl on the weekend, or staying in with your kid, I'm always gonna pick the one that leaves me hungover the next morning...

I freaking love my nephew, and have an awesome time hanging out with him (he's 4 now), and its cool carrying him around on my shoulder, going to the park, but by the 2nd day, I'm hounding my sister to take him back. If I had to pick between going to a cool new brewery with my girl on the weekend, or staying in with your kid, I'm always gonna pick the one that leaves me hungover the next morning...

Odds are, with our genetics, we would just have little blonde hair blue eyed kids running around, and they'd become neo-Nazis.

flip3d

I think everyone should get a vasectomy. We don't need anymore little dumb shits running around.

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upsdude

vasectomy or not, don't have kids. your attitude towards them would make you a shitty dad. that and the fact that you've got a history of family problems...if anything you'd be punishing an innocent person by bringing him/her into this world.

singlecamslam

Yes, someone make that your sig. NOW.

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SochBAT

I'd totally do it, but I like giving girls goop. F'real.

ericcastro

If you really thought that way, you would have done it or wouldnt need to ask questions about it.

Somewhere in you, there is doubt.

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