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Old 12-08-2009, 08:30 PM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Otto347 View Post
When I acted stupid I got my ass kicked, simple as that. Whether it was a belt, hand, wooden spoon or metal spoon it was only used on my ass. Shitty thing was after I fucked up my mom would wait till my dad got home and let him do it. Those hours before my dad got home were the worst, just knowing I was going to get spanked. Then when I heard his truck pull up in the driveway its like the "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" then he would come in and get it over with. I learned, and so did my brother.
Lol, I know that feeling of anticipation. I'd hear him come home, and my mom would explain the situation and I knew immediately if I was in real trouble.

But because of this, it didn't happen too often. I knew not to piss my dad off at an early age.
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:53 PM   #62
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it's probably been all dudes posting in here talking about getting hit.

which is good. you act a fool, you are going to get hit. that's how you learn. the stove is hot.

how about girls? you think you could discipline your daughter like that?
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:55 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DALAZ_68 View Post
QFTMFT

kids nowadays are brats...i was at Toys R Us picking up my CODMW2 copy and i was next...some little brat cuts ahead of me (5 yrs old i would guess) and im like "ohh okay go ahead" and he responds with "thats what i thought asshole" im loke WTF...i turn to the mom she's just smiling, i tell here "dopnt just look stupid and smile, dicipline your child be4 he grows up being a waste of the community, she responded with " ohh he's only a child he doesnt know what it means". i respond with "and he shouldnt know how to say things like that so well...

and yes i did push that little turd back behind me...ITS WAS MY TURN!
if my oldest son which is 6yr old would have been with me in your situation i would have told my son to punch him in the gutt lol.... J/k I cant stand that shit how mothers see or hear their kids desrespect like and dont do shit. If i had been the parent first i would have slap the sucker, then i would have not bought him what ever he was getting, then i would have made my son apologize.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian View Post
Q: What do you do when words are not working?
A: Spank the kid. That will work better (maybe). seems to have worked well for so many.

*of course, then you have asshole parents who go overboard and actually abuse the kids. THAT is a problem for sure, obviously.*
^^^^ If you dont respond with disapline action at the moment then your fucked.... Like said earlier kids are not stupid, they act the way the act cause they already know they get away with it... they know their parents are lil biatches so they do it. If you put them on check with really good spank from the begining they would think before they act.

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If I was naughty I usually had my TV/Computer privileges removed. When you're a kid, thats a pretty awful situation to be in. It would straighten me out very quickly.
Very unlikely to happen with most kids. Ive tried that with my 2 oldest even my youngest and they dont give a fuck... maybe sometimes. Kids need disapline, yes i agree you need to reason with them but you do that after the spanking. They will have better understanding after. If you try to talk to them with out spanking them they will not listen and focus to what you are trying to explain to them.... Spank them right away even if its in plublic who gives a fuck what other people say those are your kids and you are the boss. Im not saying physically abuse your kids there is many ways to spank them belts, spanking with palm of your hands, sandal, vaccum cord lol.... aslong as your not punching them or hitting them on their face. Good example of good physical disapline my grandma did to me once when i was a kid and never ever did i disrespect her again...

She would put a hand full of uncooked beans on the kitchen floor and made me get on my knees for a good minute.... boy did i think twice and i would be very careful of what i did or said.... never did she touch me with her own hands but i would had rather had a spanking then to go through that lol. Till today she lives and i love her to death.
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Old 12-08-2009, 09:00 PM   #64
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not only is it good for developing your child, you get some cheap entertainment out of it too.
lol .........
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Old 12-08-2009, 10:59 PM   #65
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I mean you don't see minority kids on leashes as kids...
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Old 12-09-2009, 12:36 AM   #66
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I mean you don't see minority kids on leashes as kids...
Thats a white people thing... seriously who fucking puts their kid on a leash? Thats just fucking retarded lol. Then again... people are pretty much retarded.
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Old 12-09-2009, 01:14 AM   #67
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Old 12-09-2009, 01:18 AM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g-via View Post
it's probably been all dudes posting in here talking about getting hit.

which is good. you act a fool, you are going to get hit. that's how you learn. the stove is hot.

how about girls? you think you could discipline your daughter like that?
My mom smacked the shit out of my sister just like she did with my brother and i. When i say smacked, i mean with a belt. My dad never hit my sister though. He didn't have to. All he had to do was talk to her in a "i'm pissed at you for this" tone and she'd start crying. lol

I'll probably do the same.
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Old 12-09-2009, 02:31 AM   #69
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a memory for all my fellow asian members:

chopsticks on the knuckles or bamboo feather duster...do it often, and kids will turn out fine...period...

lets not forget how bold and stupid kids are now a days...instill fear in them when they are young, and it will mature into respect when they mature themselves...imo...

(and please do not give me a deniro quote from the movie, "a bronx tale" for the difference between respect and fear, lol)
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:03 AM   #70
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This is a lack of respect.

If my grandma asked anything of me and my cousins, it would be done and finished with a 'yes grandma.'
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:11 AM   #71
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This is a lack of respect.

If my grandma asked anything of me and my cousins, it would be done and finished with a 'yes grandma.'
I can't imagine not listening to my grandma.

My parents would be upset if I didn't listen to them, but if I disrespected my grandma I think I would have gotten punched in the head. And my parents barely ever spanked me.
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Old 12-09-2009, 08:23 AM   #72
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I got beaten the most out of everybody Kunta Kinte style. I have the scars on my back to prove it. That's what happens when you grow up in a Communist/socialist country.

My teachers, mother, and grandmother beat me the most. I accepted the beating when I knew I deserved it, but most of the time they never made it clear to me what the rule is and why the rule was broken. Eventually I felt like I got beaten at a whim and it lost any kind of meaning.

Whether you choose to beat your children or not, please be clear in your expectations. When they break the rule, clearly explain what the rule is, what they did, and how what they did broke the rule.

Then you can choose the punishment of your choice.


If you do this, you will realise how vague your rules are. Children are very perceptive but do not understand implicit meanings. You should appreciate how confusing language is. We take for granted that we're able to understand language, but developing children are not able to grasp the true meaning and undertone of language.
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Old 12-09-2009, 09:55 AM   #73
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^^^

that is true.
punishment serves no purpose if the kid doesn't clearly understand what for what purpose.

Whether or not kids respond well to physical punishment depends on the personality of the kid.
Speaking for myself, I got my ass kicked every other day.
Think my parents/grandparents used discipline/beatings more out of frustration than reason.

Eventually I just got used to the beatings, and learned to be sneakier.
my concept of ethics in general did not develop as well until studying it in my teens.
At school, I liked to get my way via fist-fights.

If my parents could get their way via physical intimidation,
it wasn't unthinkable that I could do the same.
Now I don't think I was a bully (as far as I could recall),
but it's not unthinkable school bullies could develop through senseless beatings.

But anyhow, physical punishment did NOT work out so great for me.
It taught me nothing, and only made me feel resentful towards my parents.
I eventually punched out all relatives who gave me a beating in my earlier life,
bar my parents.
It's stupid looking back at it now, but back them I was angry & looking for payback.

I would try to refrain as much as possible from doing the same when raising kids.
If my kids try to be manipulative, I will simply out-manipulate them in return.
To me, the risk of harm from beatings or 'discipline' far outweigh the cost.
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Old 12-09-2009, 10:06 AM   #74
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All the senseless beatings did to me was make me want to challenge rules that are vague and unclear.

When you really sit down and look at it, just about every rule is unclear because there's no way to anticipate every single situation that can come up.

Natural language is very imprecise and can lead to a LOT of uncertainty, especially for children.

Please try to break it down to your kids as much as possible what different words mean and what they should do. They haven't had enough life experience to fully understand what's expected.
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Old 12-09-2009, 11:07 AM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by g6civcx View Post
All the senseless beatings did to me was make me want to challenge rules that are vague and unclear.

When you really sit down and look at it, just about every rule is unclear because there's no way to anticipate every single situation that can come up.

Natural language is very imprecise and can lead to a LOT of uncertainty, especially for children.

Please try to break it down to your kids as much as possible what different words mean and what they should do. They haven't had enough life experience to fully understand what's expected.

Well the things that are expected are not complicated at all.... all kids need to know or follow is simple rules like: doing homework and doing it right, listening, help around the house (dishes, take out trash, pick up room etc..) but mainly respect. There is nothing hard for kids to understand what is expected. There is plenty of kids out there that do all this with no problem.... i would say a good number of kids and thats because the parents make that clear to them. We're not asking for the kids to go out and find a job, or manage the bills.... I can speak for myself, what i require from my kids as far as rules and stuff like that is nothing that needs to be broken down in to words or detail. Kids are not stupid they know what is right from wrong. And I agree with what someone said ealier on this thread..... If the parents are lazzy or slack off with your kids then they will act up. What happens is kids also get lazzy and they like to act like they dont know what certain things means, words mean or why they should follow rules... kids know whats up. Obviously im not talking about infants but i'd say starting from 3 yrs and up they start understanding rules. Im not an expert or want to seem like if i know everything but I am a parent of 3 kids of different ages and ive seen how kids think, ofcourse not all kids are created equal but most of them think and know the same. Again we the spankers are not promoting physical abuse towards children but say yes to physical disapline to a certain extent.
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Old 12-09-2009, 11:28 AM   #76
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I'm glad my parents spanked me, I think I turned out better because of it. My mom actually broke a paddle on my ass once.

It seems to me that I stopped being spanked at about 10 years old. I knew at that point what would get me spanked and did a really good job of avoiding that behavior.

All this psychobabble parenting, I dont really agree with it. The stuff I learned in my psychology course made sense, but I think it sometimes has unintended consequences. Rewarding kids for good behavior with material goods IMO is one of the main reasons that people these days, especially Americans and Europeans, have such an entitlement problem. Being good should be a reward in itself.

Aside from that, I think it's better to punish swiftly at the moment of the bad behavior than to drag out a punishment for hours and make it 'a battle of wills' and and some psychological trickery. Kid screws up, a swift smack to the ass, kid instantly knows what he did wrong and the issue is resolved. Simple and straightforward.
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Old 12-09-2009, 03:27 PM   #77
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Reinforcement (psychology) has a lot more to with just handing out material rewards indiscrimantly.
There also different approaches to administering rewards and punishment.
These principles not only work for kids, but also adults and sometimes animals.
Much of the dog training techniques, for example is based on the same thing.

The trick is to know exactly what is the reinforcer and how to apply it.

Once again, im not denouncing light spanking,
providing its not the only recourse,
its not too harsh,
as long as there is an attempt to also reason with the child.

Furthmore, disciplining a child is one thing.
Spoiling them is quite another.
you can have kids (or adults) who might be very disciplined in some respects,
but also spoilt in others.
Kids can be spoilt with attention,
even if they arent demanding with materialism (toys/$$$/etc)
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Old 12-10-2009, 01:49 AM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quail View Post
I was never beaten or spanked. I turned out absolutely fine. My parents taught me enough about respect for them to not have to use physical violence on me.

Make sure your kids know whos boss from day one, and you won't have to hit them.



QFT

I think it just depends on your kids. My mom beat me senseless at times, but other times she could just give me 'the look' and I'd straighten up. Some kids just need one, some the other, some need both, and some need none.


HAHA, I had a kid taking all kinds of stuff off some pegshelfs at work and the mom asked him to put it back. When he didn't, I gave him 'the look' and right after he put the stuff back where he got it and ran to his mom crying. After that everytime he started to act up I could just look at him and he'd stop. lol

Good times.
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Old 12-10-2009, 02:15 AM   #79
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I think hitting your kid is just fine, however it can get really out of hand easily because of the psychological effects that can come out of it for some people. Issues arising in things such as a persons sexual preferences and unease of relationships sometimes commitment etc.
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Old 12-10-2009, 02:26 AM   #80
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How the hell does 'sexual preference' come to play?
We are not discussing sadomasochistic dungeons here.

'Maybe', by some bizzare logic, sex abuse might lead to that (I have no idea),
but that that's hardly the topic being discussed here imo.
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Old 12-10-2009, 08:10 AM   #81
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what i require from my kids as far as rules and stuff like that is. Kids are not stupid they know what is right from wrong
I'm going to disagree with you here. You can't assume that kids can read your mind. I can't even read your mind.

The worst thing in the world is getting beat up for something you never knew was wrong. Maybe a warning with explanation/clarification would be ok, but senseless beating after the fact with no previous warning builds nothing but resentment.

You cannot expect your views and interpretation to be the only valid ones. Language itself is imprecise and a lot of communication is tacit.

For example, what is "respect"? If I were your child, what would you want me to do and NOT do to show "respect"?

If I'm just minding my own business and not bother anyone, will I get beaten for being "disrespectful"?
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Old 12-10-2009, 10:16 AM   #82
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How the hell does 'sexual preference' come to play?
We are not discussing sadomasochistic dungeons here.

'Maybe', by some bizzare logic, sex abuse might lead to that (I have no idea),
but that that's hardly the topic being discussed here imo.
power. to some people "beating" (not mild spanking) your child gives you "power". so the child could grow up to be a sadistic person cause he thought that control and power is what he might want. Next thing you know he's on tv for keeping a head in the freezer because all he wanted to do was control a person. so killing them is the only way he can have that control. Not saying that's how it starts...but who really knows.

just a thought...don't sit on it too long. I'm not sadistic....well maybe. jk. lol
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Old 12-10-2009, 11:08 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by ronmcdon View Post
How the hell does 'sexual preference' come to play?
We are not discussing sadomasochistic dungeons here.

'Maybe', by some bizzare logic, sex abuse might lead to that (I have no idea),
but that that's hardly the topic being discussed here imo.
Just pointing some of the potential affects that can come out of it for some people, just you can classify spanking as a con since we're discussing pros and cons.
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Old 12-10-2009, 11:29 AM   #84
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ill pank them but not beat them
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Old 12-10-2009, 02:50 PM   #85
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On the other hand, I can understand why kids seem to act out more nowadays.
It's not that they are more hyper, they just don't have a way to get the energy out. Of course doctors love to diagnose every other kid with ADD now to make money off prescribing pills, but just a couple of decades ago there was no such thing as 'ADD,' it was normal human behavior.
I remember that living in the suburbs from when I was 12 until I got my license felt like a prison. I would skate places when I could, but if I wanted or needed to go anyplace farther, I was completely dependent on my parents. It especially felt terrible because up until then I was used to living in Europe where I could walk or take public transport to anywhere I wanted.
Plus everyone is paranoid about child molesters and kidnappers nowadays, so kids spend their days locked inside the house. And while yes, it is true that the parents should take them out and help them be active, fact is that parents also have to 'entertain' their kids much more then they used to, due to the increasingly sedentary lifestyle. And I also know that tweens/early teens don't really want to do activities with their parents, they would much rather roam around with their peers.
You can't really blame just the kids or the parents, the whole lifestyle is messed up.
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Old 12-10-2009, 03:50 PM   #86
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I'm going to disagree with you here. You can't assume that kids can read your mind. I can't even read your mind.

The worst thing in the world is getting beat up for something you never knew was wrong. Maybe a warning with explanation/clarification would be ok, but senseless beating after the fact with no previous warning builds nothing but resentment.

You cannot expect your views and interpretation to be the only valid ones. Language itself is imprecise and a lot of communication is tacit.

For example, what is "respect"? If I were your child, what would you want me to do and NOT do to show "respect"?

If I'm just minding my own business and not bother anyone, will I get beaten for being "disrespectful"?
Let me clarify.... ofcourse kids or any human beings cant read minds. I definately dont expect my kids to read my mind cause its not possible but only in certain situations. Im just saying and I speak for myself, I have made it clear to my kids since they were younger how things go weather it is doing h/w, behaving good at home and at school, having respect for others, etc... So when it does come to one of them things and they are acting up and not wanting to follow rules then ofcourse they will get a spanking.Thats a daily routine of activities they do dialy, so they know whats up. I dont want to sound like my ways are the right and only way cause their not.
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Old 12-10-2009, 07:35 PM   #87
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each and every kidd/child in the world needs/deserves an ass kickin my parents did it to me and i think i turned out fine but becareful not to over do it these days...you'll find yourself in alot of trouble lol but i think a belt and/or hand will do the trick try to stay away from vacuum cleaner chords,tree branches,hangers,canes lol i know it might be hard to believe but some ppl actually use these to discpline their kids i was one of the kids to get these used on...lol i diddnt think i was that bad
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Old 12-10-2009, 07:52 PM   #88
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I remember this lady was with her son and the child was acting a damn fool screaming and having a temper tantrum. She took him into the bathroom, came out two minutes later, kid stood by her side and didn't say a thing. Small tear down his face was about it.

More kids need to be taken care of like that.

Fuck this time-out mess.

Spank their ass and while they are crying they will be taking time-out thinking about what they did wrong.
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:36 PM   #89
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QFTMFT

kids nowadays are brats...i was at Toys R Us picking up my CODMW2 copy and i was next...some little brat cuts ahead of me (5 yrs old i would guess) and im like "ohh okay go ahead" and he responds with "thats what i thought asshole" im loke WTF...i turn to the mom she's just smiling, i tell here "dopnt just look stupid and smile, dicipline your child be4 he grows up being a waste of the community, she responded with " ohh he's only a child he doesnt know what it means". i respond with "and he shouldnt know how to say things like that so well...

and yes i did push that little turd back behind me...ITS WAS MY TURN!

ROFL, why the fuck is that stupid bitch buying that kid a rated M game anyways? As a kid my mom usually spanked me and my dad would raise his voice which scared me. My brother threw a big tantrum at a store once. When we got home my mom turned the garden hose on him and told him she would stop until he calmed down, he quickly did.
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The things people will do for a green card.
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Old 12-10-2009, 10:55 PM   #90
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what a perfect time for this topic...sounds like the obamas just got busted out by oprah for admitting to previously "coercively punishing" their two daughters...
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