SilviaDriver

ok, i got this off another forum so dont go saying that im this and that, i juss thought it was funny to share with you guys:

These are our rules! These are Man Rules! And Man Rules are all #1:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what taupe is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left for all of those foreigners.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that? It's like camping.

1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Annoying Eric

haha.. You sexist PIG...LOL..j/k.. <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> &nbsp;<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>

Titan

Don't you have anything better to do then post this?

Things like honking at random female pedestrians, making obscene gestures with your hip and genital region, and catcalling the local hooters waitress in hopes that your 4% tip will "get you some".


<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> &nbsp; <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>

oh yeah, BTW, put on a nice cup, cuz s13grl's heels hurt like a bitch.

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Sleep Doesn't Drink Beer

X-Iceman

LOL!! &nbsp;<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':laugh:'> &nbsp;That has to be the funniest thing I have ever heard. Oh ya, all people who get affened, get over yourself. &nbsp;<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/devil.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':devil:'> &nbsp;<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/baaa.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':baaa:'>

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nissan&#39;s_fury

Haha that is pretty good. &nbsp;If only they would abide by them. j/k &nbsp; <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/devil.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':devil:'>

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In the land of Rice, the man with a boxed H is king.

KiDyNomiTe

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Titan @ Oct. 29 2002,5:53)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Don't you have anything better to do then post this?

Things like honking at random female pedestrians, making obscene gestures with your hip and genital region, and catcalling the local hooters waitress in hopes that your 4% tip will "get you some".


<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>

oh yeah, BTW, put on a nice cup, cuz s13grl's heels hurt like a bitch.</td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>
Too bad she probably won't read it, so its all good. There are other females on this site you know. She's just the crankies <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> &nbsp;j/p

But if girls actually read that list and actually did some of the things on there, they would make some man a very happy man.

I mean I seriously never got the toilet thing. Who in thier right minds would sit on the toilet seat and fall in <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':crazy:'> . I mean don't you look before you squat, what if the cover is on, do you take a piss on the seat cover.


Keep in mind I have nothing against women, they are man's greatest creation <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> &nbsp;<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''>

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PROCEED
Grip Gambler

SR20Fastback

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (KiDyNomiTe @ Oct. 29 2002,8:09)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">I mean don't you look before you squat, what if the cover is on, do you take a piss on the seat cover.</td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>
lmfao!!

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Fodive STILL blows goats, I have proof.

Jeff240sx

Yea. &nbsp;I can't remember who said that. &nbsp;It was either The Man Show or something on Comedy Central. &nbsp;I really can't remember, but reading that was deja-vu.
-Jeff

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Whatup?

SilviaDriver

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Titan @ Oct. 29 2002,3:53)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">oh yeah, BTW, put on a nice cup, cuz s13grl's heels hurt like a bitch.</td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>
no worries my friend

cast iron..double plated and Chromed <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> &nbsp;*bling*bling*

BBSHT240

AMEN! <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/devil.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':devil:'>

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www.driftalliance.com

gabossie

And so many of them are true without being sexist. I consider a lot of those simple common sense, but oh well...j/k <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/hehe.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':hehe:'>

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If ignorance is bliss, then you, my friend, are having an orgasm as we speak.

Todays Faith in Human Kind:Low

Roly

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote (Annoying Eric @ Oct. 29 2002,5:03)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">haha.. You sexist PIG...LOL..j/k.. <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''> <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=''></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>
How many male chovanist does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen?




Who cares!... let the bitch cook in the dark!

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RACECAR spelled backwards still spells RACECAR