Mr.S14

ok I was watching Clerks and they were talking about their favorite customers.......I was laughing my ass off because I knew exactly what they felt


For me its the discount guy.....No matter how low something is on sale or how much your already hooking them up, The Discount guy always ask for another discount.

rainier

I sell random things on craigslist all the time.

the best one was some guy made a lowball offer on my Ninja zx-9. asking like 1700.
then i said " no, are you kidding?" then he replied, "well thats my offer, its not fast enough for me anyway"

fucking dumbass, how fast does he want his damn bike? haha

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Mr.S14

LOL hayabusa fast

OKR_240SX

I've worked at a gas station for 3 years now. My favorite person was a 24(ish) year old driving a lime green Lambo Murciélago. In the town that I live in every single gas station is a prepay station, pay at the pump, or have a pump start card that has your information on it. So his dude hits the help button cause the pump wont work. and I tell him "its our policy that you prepay or use a card out there for the pump to work." Of course I notice its a murciélago as soon as he pulls in. And he says "I drive a Lambo turn the fucking pump on" at the top of his voice, and our intercom system is quite loud. At that time we had atleast 30 people (and 3 people running registers) at the register hearing this dude, so I turned it off quick. He walks in, pushes past everyone in line, comes to me, slams down a 100 dollar bill and walks out. So I basically left his 100 bucks sitting there just waitin for any customer to grab it. He comes back in, pissed of course cause i still haven't set his pump, yelling at me. So I basically said, while trying not to laugh at this jack ass, " oh sorry you didn't say what pump you were on so I didn't set it" and of course my "Thanks, Come back again!" in a really nice voice.

singlecamslam

ah yes the craigslist people. I'm selling one of my cars for 2300, and he emails "will you take 900?" I just answer no. He emails me back asking why not. I tell him because he's an idiot. And his email was something something civic something.

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Nothing says racecar like a stock car with no interior.

miravete

i have a friend, well, not really a friend, more of a friend of a friend of a friend, etc.

hes always like...¨dude, buy this for me, ill pay you tomorrow.¨ or ¨how much for this, can you give you like 4 bucks, and the other 96 later?¨

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taking corners just as good as a drunken rhino..

i8yourfwd

I work at a bank, a customer got SUPER rowdy when she found out she was overdrawn almost $200. She of course was cussing up a storm, at random employees that worked there. We didn't do anything for her, since she was making such a big scene about it.

It just so happened to be past 6pm when she was done ranting and raving. Bank happens to close at 6pm. She proceeds to keep cussing at everyone, telling us to fuck off etc etc. She then attempts to storm out of the bank, to make a big scene. Yup, bank closed at 6pm, so the door was locked shut, she ran straight into the door, definitely vertical faceplant. It was pretty epic. She then figured that we did it as a joke, started cussing more, asking why we locked the door on her, we told her what time it was, what time we closed, and told her since it was past that time, the doors were locked. She kept yelling, told my manager to "get the fuck away" from her when my manager attempted to unlock the door. Finally she got out, even the last customer in the bank was laughing at her. Good times..

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http://jaythroughglass.blogspot.com

Teddy

I work at a fish store (for aquariums and whatnot. Laugh all you want) and I always get this one customer that makes me run for the back room.

The last time she came in, she wanted specific fish. Now generally, that's not an issue, considering you would imagine people want the exact fish they're looking at. But when they're looking at a tank with no less than 400 little fish, no longer than 2 centimeters, there is no way in hell I'm going to grab a specific fish. I generally ask a customer how many they want, and scoop out a net full, then count them out.

Well this bitch wanted specific fish from this tank. When I told her I wasn't going to grab her specific fish, simply because there are other customers in the store that need attention, she made me get the manager. My manager is on the same page as me, and he argued with her. Finally she came back to me and I picked her fish (my way). These fish were $.99 at the time. The next day she came back in with a dead one and asked for a refund. A fucking 99 cent refund. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?!

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www.realize-jp.net

98s14inaz

So true. (Please don't be offended by this story, my intention is not to offend) When I used to sell cars our worst nightmare was the asian/indian(dots not feathers) fobby. We jokingly called them "toohighs" because everything was priced too high and they would try to get the price down...often well below your cost on the car

Holy crap that story about the green lambo and the douche driving it was epic. I lol'd. I would have done the same thing.

I recently took over my store about two months ago. I had a customer of one of the former employees call in bitching because she didn't follow instructions and had her insurance claim denied. I told her how to fix it and she continued to bitch. She calls back again and starts cursing at me. I give her the attitude, "first of all, this conversation is being recorded" it really wasn't but I thought it was funny "second of all you need to watch your language, I'm not going to sit here listening to you verbally abusing me and if you continue I will have to hang up and you can call back when you want to be civil." She immediately starts apologizing and was a sweetheart

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-Retired

SHIFT_*grind*

Ohhhh I've had too many customer service jobs.


Valet

When you go to get someone's car from the lot, you run. Of course. I valeted on the oceanfront, and I'd always have idiots hollering "run, Forrest!" at me from their hotel rooms. Wow, you're one clever, brave sonofabitch, yelling the most overused movie quote in history from the safety of your 7th floor private balcony. Anyway, this lady comes out of the hotel I work at, hands me her valet ticket. I find the keys, and take off towards the lot. This dumb bitch has the nerve to yell the same thing at me, while I'm retrieving HER car. "Ruuuuuuun, Forrest!!!!"

I stop dead in my tracks, and turn around and stare at her for a few seconds. Then I turn back around, and walk leisurely to the parking lot. ~5 minutes later I come back with her car, and she must have felt like the world's biggest bitch because I receive profuse thanks and a $10 tip.

I loved the dumb tourist questions too. I'm giving directions, "so you get on I264..." They interrupt, "east or west?" Well, the Atlantic Ocean is right behind us...


Restaurants

The stupidity never ends.

People letting their kids run EVERYWHERE around the restaurant was the absolute worst. I'm carrying a ~50 pound tray of glassware on my shoulder and this kid jumps off the back of his dining chair and falls on the ground right in front of me, I nearly fall over him. Mommy looks, "oh Jimmy, you're so silly," and continues chatting with her friend. BITCH I ALMOST RAN YOUR KID OVER AND DROPPED 30 WATER GLASSES.

Tables that look like someone set off an appetizer grenade. Food everywhere, sugar packets ripped up into 1,000,000 shreds and distributed across the table, every conceivable solid and fluid strewn across the floor.

If you go out to eat and leave tables like this. Fuck you.

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1993 SR 'Vert

My seller review thread

Dirty Habit

I had a client shit his pants one time. Just groaned and dropped about 8lbs of buttescotch puddin on to the floor and back of his pants.
I looked at him and said "alright, who forgot to tell this man about the food downstairs in the cafeteria?!"
He laughed, I got em to the restroom and he cleaned up a bit, got him back to his hotel, met up later at a bar and finished our business. lol.

In retail if you give someone 5% off something, theyll ask for 10% at the register, or the next time they come in. I remember giving this guy some money off some bags of mulch because they were ripped open onetime. About a week later guy is back at the register flipping out. So I get up there to see whats going on he's got about 20 bags of mulch, all ripped with little bits taken out of them, and he "wants his goddamn discount." Dude was asking for like 2 bucks off a bag. I argued with him for about 10 mins before he stormedout the door screaming he was never going to shop there again.
Fuck him. Fuck people like that.

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1982 280zx Turbo

Jordn

I sell New and Used Hondas for a living.

Says it all really, I don't need to give stories, you can imagine the stupidity.

exitspeed

My favorite customer was the one who's naked vagina I saw. She showed it to me on purpose.

My second favorite one was the pimp that came in and to buy bedroom furniture from me. He had two of his hoes with him. This was all very very obvious. Instead of asking me a question, he would say to one of the girls, "ask the man (insert question here)...". And then she would repeat the question to me. I'm standing right in front of him. Then the girls where on their hands and knees on the mattresses with short shirts on. They were attractive and there were no other customers in the store, so I was fine with it. Dude spent a grip. It was very funny.

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What I do for a living...www.mhrussell.com

punk138

ppl like these persuaded me to quit autozone fuck retail jobs! never again!

anyways we were closing at autozone one night and im sure this happens to alot of you, those studpid ass people that like to show up a min b4 closing. yea this punk ass shout runs up as im locking the doors. he literally opens forcefully as im locking it. i was like fuck that were closed. he like naw nigga i still got a minute and i show him the time but still he walks in. hes like ima pick up my battery from charging. ok watever. we test his battery and its no good. didnt take a charge cuz its beat to shit and had no electrolytes and its prolly like 10 yrs old. as soon as i tell him its no good he starts bitchin about how we fucked up his battery. i was like dude chill out we didnt do this you brought it in like this. he like my battery worked just fine b4 i brought to you guys. i told him to think about wat he just said. y would you bring it to us if work just fine? *retard* he got so pissed that i made him look stupid he request the manager. i was like go get him yo self he over there. lol i seriously didnt give two flyin shits. fuck him. finally manager comes explains policy and tells him theres nothing we can do. he like fuck that starts getting all ignant and cussing and threatening to kik ass. we close the store at 9pm its already 10:30pm and he refuses to leave. i said fuck this your leaving in cuffs. lmao hes like wtf fuck you white boy. im like i aint white im mexican bitch! called the popo and they took his bitch ass in cuffs. as were all laughing at him! FUCK THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEND. FUCK "THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"POLICY. THIS TIME I CAME UP AND IT FELT GOOOD!!!

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yes we still roll fenders

iHeartTheTouge

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Slide 'n Hide
-'72 240z LS1 project

shishcabobers

When I worked at carls jr, I gave this order to a guy. He walks away and looks into the bag and stomps back all pissed and saying "Why are there two hashbrowns?! I only ordered one!" So I look at his receipt and tell him that he got an extra one for free. He then stomps out in a hissy fit. I mean cmon who would not mind getting free hashbrowns or fries in their order?

majuljo

im an assistant manager at little caesars pizza and i swear to god that we get the most stupid customers in the world. now its not always there fault because our pizza's are suppose to be hot and ready but when people come in and order 20 large pizzas its impossible to have ready right then and there.

my favorite customer i have had though is this guy who came in with his 6 yr old and bought 2 pizzas so i gave it to him and i started talking to him about sports and having a good conversation. he then remembers to ask for ranch (which cost 64 cents) but we ran out. so i tell him so and he goes into this tantrum because we dont have ranch. i apologize and ask him if i can do anything else but all he wants is some ranch and continues to cus me out in front of his kid. again i ask him "what do you want me to do?" and he then replies "is that all you can say" and i raise my voice but repeat what i said earlier "WHAT....DO.....YOU.....WANT....ME....TO....DO!!!! ??" he just walked out after that.

i have so many stories but if any of you go to little caesars just call it in and anything you want will be ready when you get there.

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s13 coupe rb25det=eats babies and shits midgets!!!

zilvia_brothers

im pretty sure working in retail...there's always those customers that make u think "WTF?! is this person for real?" lol

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"Keep'n It Old Skool!"

axiomatik

wow.






I didn't even know little ceasars still existed.

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theicecreamdan

Fuckin alcoholics... you have to be 21 years old to drink, your KIDS need to be 21 years old to drink. You need to show me an ID. If you don't have one don't drink in my establishment. I will see you and there will be an issue. Don't punch the guy that takes your beer because you gave some to the 18 year old girl you're with. If you need to get 18 year olds drunk before you can see the boobies then you don't deserve beer anyways.

The nasty old bitch that randomly showed me her boob after complaining about not getting free popcorn... yeah take some popcorn and leave PLEASE.

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90hatchie

im glad i work in a warehouse and dont have to deal with stupid people....
except the stupid supervisor
(truck is packed full)
i had some boxes and overweights that obviously wouldnt go in
bitch came by and was like ur job is to get the box's in the truck
i opened the door and was like well its crammed full
so she got all pissy told me to figure it out
i decided to pack them into the drivers cab and be on my way

hey i did get them IN the truck

BustedS13

i used to deliver for Dominos.

i delivered, almost daily, to a guy who was too fat to leave his house. literally. the money was always moist, and he always ordered two mediums and a two liter of diet coke. practically every fucking day. there was never a worse smelling apartment.

but my REAL favorite was the High School Kegger. you always battle it out with the other drivers for the BIG orders. mainly for the big tip. but sometimes, you'll find yourself delivering to a legendary party. and when you do, they'll either tip you very well, or, if they're high school kids, they'll give you a shitty tip and make jokes about tipping you in beer.
it wasn't funny until i started accepting the beer tips. you have no idea how common this lame ass joke really is. one summer i accumulated a sizable box of loose cans in a week or so, the joke was so frequent. nobody expects you to accept the offer, and they're always confused when you walk in and ask where the cooler is. i've taken beer bongs as tips, i've taken as many cans as my pants would hold. i've even taken half an hour off work to just hang out with these dipshits. again, the funny is in the fact that nobody EVER expects you to take them seriously, and then you're sitting on their couch, drinking their keg.

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treken2t87

One new year's @ midnight, I...uh.....saw "somebody" smoke out the pizza delivery driver cause "they" wanted to smoke a blunt at the strike of midnight

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VQMaxFan

I used to work at a parts house in a very well... poor part of town known for the southern characters in the area.

Always loved situations like:

Sales person: "I have this grade/brand, this grade/brand, and this grade/brand in stock."
Southern Gentleman: "I wan' tha cheepn'"

Or when we had the 12million candle power cordless spot light demo in the door way on display. Its just an H4 bulb with the high beam setting! A guy with his wife and 2 kids came in the store. The guy walks straight up to the spot light, turns it on. "damn thats bright!" Then he has a great idea go off in his mind while holding the portable headlight. He smerks and runs over to his wife, sticks the light in her face and says "HUNNY LOOK, IS THAT BRITE!?!?" With a baby in her arms and a toddler at her ankles she yells out "GATDAYUM I CAN FEEL THE HEAT OFF THAT THANG!"

I always loved the people who would just buy 1 spark plug or ask if we sold 1 plug wire.

Getting robbed at gunpoint sucked balls though.

bbejj123

i worked at a Ralphs near my house and my favorite customer would have to be this old man. One day this 80+ year old man buys a cart full of grocerys. "hello sir how are you doing today?" i said

he just stares at me smiling

so i then ask him "Is plastic alright sir?"

doesnt hear me. so i ask again. thinks someone else said something then he starts looking around. this happen about 5 times after that. I then raise my voice "IS PLASTIC ALRIGHT SIR?"
he finally looks over and says "uhh... Jeorpardy...uhhh....what?"

then i ask one final time trying sooo hard not to laugh and then finally answers "yes"

such a weird story thinking back on it...it sounds like a fake story haha

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kyoru

Oh my god, the truth. I don't know why parents let their fucking kids run around the restaurant. And why do people want to rip everything to pieces on the table?

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Bobafreak

god these storys are great. lol

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*VIOLENT RUNNING TRIBE*
"Love is god, hatin is satin!"

origin_s135

i literally LOL'ed.

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-robo

spoolandslide

prescription drugs

kyoru

I use to work in a car shop attached to a store that sells batteries. We didn't have a sign above our store but the battery store did. We did however have a huge decal on our store that said we only deal with cars.

We would constantly have people come in, looking around our showcase room (filled with car parts), get confused and leave. However there are a select few that don't understand and require assistance.

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