Joke Of The Day (FAST SEX) - Zilvia.net Forums | Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Forum

LeftNutOfGowd · 08-01-2008, 11:53 AM

So i haven't seen a joke of the day thread in a long time so here's one i heard today. So Enjoi and i hope you laugh.

Quote:

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you..."

The girl looked at him, and then said, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boy friend...so she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast..., he won't even be able to get his pants down."

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his
girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, "what happened.....?" Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The fucker had all quarters!'"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed !!

Also this joke might work in a real life situation lol

Landers · 08-01-2008, 11:55 AM

hahahaha pretty good

*revat619* · 08-01-2008, 11:56 AM

hahahahaha

xblack240x · 08-01-2008, 12:12 PM

Haha I remember reading this a while back on entensity. Funny joke

YoungGun · 08-01-2008, 12:15 PM

Haha good one.

aziankingz · 08-01-2008, 12:17 PM

lol damn thats funny as fuck.. owned..

it can work in a real life situation..just use pennies instead..

speedgod^s13 · 08-01-2008, 12:18 PM

Owned. Think I might try that at work.

stiizy · 08-01-2008, 12:20 PM

oh shit thats funny as hell

aziankingz · 08-01-2008, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by speedgod^s13

Owned. Think I might try that at work.

let me know how that goes or ill just read it in the news

azndoc · 08-01-2008, 12:35 PM

hahahahahahaha

that was pretty funny.

+1

DOOK · 08-01-2008, 12:36 PM

niiiiiiice

+1

***Future240*** · 08-01-2008, 12:57 PM

hahaha nice

I owe you rep for that one

mRclARK1 · 08-01-2008, 01:00 PM

And she thought I was just gonna throw down a couple bills.

lol

DUFFM4N · 08-01-2008, 01:02 PM

smart....no wonder his name is eddie

airsoft · 08-01-2008, 01:03 PM

So I went to the doctor one day and I told him I had once broke my leg in 2 places.

He replies, well don't go back to those 2 places.

stiizy · 08-01-2008, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DUFFM4N

smart....no wonder his name is eddie

I knew you were gonna say something like that

*Antihero983* · 08-01-2008, 01:15 PM

Brilliant!

LeftNutOfGowd · 08-01-2008, 01:33 PM

Hahaha i would have thrown some dimes make it harder to pick up and it will look like alot more money lol..

lolatclint · 08-01-2008, 02:27 PM

LOL omg hahaha. he said by the time u bend over ill be done

Okinawandrifter87 · 08-01-2008, 02:42 PM

Heres one..

The inventor of the Harley Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to Heaven. At the gates St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you have been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said , "I want to hang out with GOD." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room and introduced him to GOD.

Arthur asked GOD, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"

GOD said, "Ah Yes"

"Well said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major flaws in your invention.".

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft, and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous.

"Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied GOD. Hold on. GOD went to his celestial computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and GOD read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

AznDrftr. · 08-01-2008, 02:54 PM

oh nice.

*goes to try it*

*Antihero983* · 08-01-2008, 02:54 PM

Oh shit son!!!!

stiizy · 08-01-2008, 03:32 PM

haha good one Oki

Okinawandrifter87 · 08-01-2008, 04:26 PM

haha.. domo!

Okinawandrifter87 · 08-01-2008, 04:53 PM

Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride bikes?

shade · 08-01-2008, 11:02 PM

Dudes awesome! Lol.

seesquared · 08-01-2008, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Okinawandrifter87

Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride bikes?

i laughed hysterically.......for a while

1ZlowZ · 08-02-2008, 12:27 AM

There was one I heard years ago. Let me try and remember.

There three guys at a bar talking about how they have sex with their wives, as they're sharing their stories, one all of a sudden brings up the rodeo position. The men look at him puzzled, they ask "whats the rodeo? I've never heard of that one before." The man then explains. "Rodeo is when you mount your wife, cup her breast and say 'ah these feel just like your sisters' and hang on for as long as you can. Yehaw!"

*!Zar!* · 08-02-2008, 12:34 AM

That made me lol.

Got to use that one.

s13coupedrfter · 08-02-2008, 04:14 AM

Here's a good one...

3 vampires walk into a bar. The bartender asks the 1st vampire, "what will it be"?
1st vampire replies,"give me a pint of blood"? So the bartender slides him a pint of blood.
Bartender looks at the 2nd vampire,"what will it be"?
2nd vampire replies,"give me a pint of blood". Bartender slides him a pint of blood.
The bartender looks at the 3rd vampire,"what will it be"?
3rd vampire replies,"give me a hot cup of water". Confused the bar tender asks,"why arnt you having a pint of blood like your friends"? The vampire reaches behind his cape and pulls out a dirty tampon and says,"I'm having tea thank you".

08-01-2008, 11:55 AM	#2
Landers Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: W Mass. Age: 33 Posts: 561 Trader Rating: (3) Rides Gallery: Landers Feedback Score: 3 reviews	hahahaha pretty good __________________ d-faction.com

08-01-2008, 11:56 AM	#3
revat619 Retired General Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,672 Trader Rating: (7) Feedback Score: 7 reviews	hahahahaha __________________ www.Jspec.com www.SpeedAlliance.com www.PoweredByMax.net Instagram: @rjsladerade

08-01-2008, 12:36 PM	#11
DOOK Post Whore! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Land of Milk and Cookies Age: 38 Posts: 7,552 Trader Rating: (3) Feedback Score: 3 reviews	niiiiiiice +1 __________________ <------ Grumpy Old Asshole MY REVIEW THREAD: Ltdnismoracer4=DOOK http://www.zilvia.net/f/showthread.p...ltdnismoracer4

08-01-2008, 01:00 PM	#13
mRclARK1 Post Whore! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Location? Posts: 4,205 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	And she thought I was just gonna throw down a couple bills. lol __________________

08-01-2008, 01:02 PM	#14
DUFFM4N Post Whore! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Southern California...where i stretch out haters like a bad thong Age: 37 Posts: 7,371 Trader Rating: (40) Rides Gallery: DUFFM4N Feedback Score: 40 reviews	smart....no wonder his name is eddie __________________ *things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who HUSTLE* CLICK HERE FOR MY BLOG

08-01-2008, 12:12 PM	#4
xblack240x Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bay Area Posts: 555 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Haha I remember reading this a while back on entensity. Funny joke

08-01-2008, 12:15 PM	#5
YoungGun Post Whore! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: 818-951 SoCal Posts: 3,961 Trader Rating: (23) Feedback Score: 23 reviews	Haha good one.

08-01-2008, 12:17 PM	#6
aziankingz Nissanaholic! Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: NYC Age: 38 Posts: 1,735 Trader Rating: (28) Feedback Score: 28 reviews	lol damn thats funny as fuck.. owned.. it can work in a real life situation..just use pennies instead..

08-01-2008, 12:18 PM	#7
speedgod^s13 Post Whore! Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Honolulu, Hawaii Age: 41 Posts: 3,159 Trader Rating: (27) Feedback Score: 27 reviews	Owned. Think I might try that at work.

08-01-2008, 12:20 PM	#8
stiizy Post Whore! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NYC Age: 39 Posts: 6,332 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	oh shit thats funny as hell

08-01-2008, 12:35 PM	#10
azndoc Post Whore! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Los Angeles Age: 39 Posts: 9,487 Trader Rating: (47) Rides Gallery: azndoc Feedback Score: 47 reviews	hahahahahahaha that was pretty funny. +1

08-01-2008, 01:03 PM	#15
airsoft Zilvia FREAK! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,231 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	So I went to the doctor one day and I told him I had once broke my leg in 2 places. He replies, well don't go back to those 2 places.

08-01-2008, 01:15 PM	#17
Antihero983 Premium Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Gilmanton, NH Age: 36 Posts: 4,403 Trader Rating: (2) Rides Gallery: Antihero983 Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Brilliant! __________________ "So here I am, right back at it again, just like I've always been"

08-01-2008, 01:33 PM	#18
LeftNutOfGowd Post Whore! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: O.C Age: 34 Posts: 2,515 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Hahaha i would have thrown some dimes make it harder to pick up and it will look like alot more money lol.. __________________

08-01-2008, 02:27 PM	#19
lolatclint BANNED Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SOCAL Posts: 674 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	LOL omg hahaha. he said by the time u bend over ill be done

08-01-2008, 02:42 PM	#20
Okinawandrifter87 Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 3,959 Trader Rating: (22) Feedback Score: 22 reviews	Heres one.. The inventor of the Harley Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to Heaven. At the gates St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you have been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said , "I want to hang out with GOD." St. Peter took Arthur to the throne room and introduced him to GOD. Arthur asked GOD, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" GOD said, "Ah Yes" "Well said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major flaws in your invention.". 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front end protrusion. 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds. 3. Most of the rear ends are too soft, and wobble too much. 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust. 5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous. "Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied GOD. Hold on. GOD went to his celestial computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and GOD read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours." __________________ Driftphreak87

08-01-2008, 02:54 PM	#21
AznDrftr. BANNED Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: 254 \| Texas. Age: 35 Posts: 2,293 Trader Rating: (3) Rides Gallery: AznDrftr. Feedback Score: 3 reviews	oh nice. goes to try it

08-01-2008, 02:54 PM	#22
Antihero983 Premium Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Gilmanton, NH Age: 36 Posts: 4,403 Trader Rating: (2) Rides Gallery: Antihero983 Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Oh shit son!!!! __________________ "So here I am, right back at it again, just like I've always been"

08-01-2008, 03:32 PM	#23
stiizy Post Whore! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NYC Age: 39 Posts: 6,332 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	haha good one Oki

08-01-2008, 04:26 PM	#24
Okinawandrifter87 Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 3,959 Trader Rating: (22) Feedback Score: 22 reviews	haha.. domo! __________________ Driftphreak87

08-01-2008, 04:53 PM	#25
Okinawandrifter87 Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 3,959 Trader Rating: (22) Feedback Score: 22 reviews	Q: How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? A: Wanna go ride bikes? __________________ Driftphreak87

08-01-2008, 11:02 PM	#26
shade Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: San Diego Age: 32 Posts: 509 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Dudes awesome! Lol. __________________

08-02-2008, 12:27 AM	#28
1ZlowZ Zilvia Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Apple Valley Age: 28 Posts: 649 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	There was one I heard years ago. Let me try and remember. There three guys at a bar talking about how they have sex with their wives, as they're sharing their stories, one all of a sudden brings up the rodeo position. The men look at him puzzled, they ask "whats the rodeo? I've never heard of that one before." The man then explains. "Rodeo is when you mount your wife, cup her breast and say 'ah these feel just like your sisters' and hang on for as long as you can. Yehaw!" __________________ -Victor S.

08-02-2008, 12:34 AM	#29
!Zar! Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: North Korea Posts: 14,576 Trader Rating: (27) Feedback Score: 27 reviews	That made me lol. Got to use that one. __________________

08-02-2008, 04:14 AM	#30
s13coupedrfter Zilvia Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Socal Posts: 839 Trader Rating: (8) Feedback Score: 8 reviews	Here's a good one... 3 vampires walk into a bar. The bartender asks the 1st vampire, "what will it be"? 1st vampire replies,"give me a pint of blood"? So the bartender slides him a pint of blood. Bartender looks at the 2nd vampire,"what will it be"? 2nd vampire replies,"give me a pint of blood". Bartender slides him a pint of blood. The bartender looks at the 3rd vampire,"what will it be"? 3rd vampire replies,"give me a hot cup of water". Confused the bar tender asks,"why arnt you having a pint of blood like your friends"? The vampire reaches behind his cape and pulls out a dirty tampon and says,"I'm having tea thank you".

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