Dear Red States - Zilvia.net Forums | Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Forum

Andrew Bohan · 10-29-2008, 12:31 PM

Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington , Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama .

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and
they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high-tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

Rey of Spots · 10-29-2008, 01:05 PM

We also have the Governator.

Crips and Bloods.

shishcabobers · 10-29-2008, 01:07 PM

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 01:14 PM

The only thing red states were good for was slaves and presidents who like dome.

ILoveMyRHS13 · 10-29-2008, 01:15 PM

You get socialism... We get our constitutional rights.
Har dee har har.

MudRacer · 10-29-2008, 01:18 PM

That was a great insight. Thank you.
It applies to the population of the red states and clearly describes the essence of these states and the people within.

Walperstyle · 10-29-2008, 01:24 PM

...and canada gets control of its resources again

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walperstyle

...and canada gets control of its resources again

Don't be silly.

*exitspeed* · 10-29-2008, 01:31 PM

SexPanda · 10-29-2008, 01:43 PM

YOu guys can have a fucked up country. I'll move my happy ass back to Ireland. At least I'll get drunk all the time and have a sweet 200sx turbo.

azndoc · 10-29-2008, 01:56 PM

shishcabobers · 10-29-2008, 02:08 PM

DUFFM4N · 10-29-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exitspeed

*ICE-T picture*

really getting some use outta this one eh mel?

Matej · 10-29-2008, 02:17 PM

So glad Missouri is a blue state this year.
Too bad everyone assumes Kansas City is in Kansas.

kablam · 10-29-2008, 02:32 PM

Sounds like it's time to get the hell out of Alabama.

Rey of Spots · 10-29-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kablam

Sounds like it's time to get the hell out of Alabama.

It was time to get out of Alabama back in 1776.

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 02:36 PM

Cause Alabama was one of the 13 colonies...

spikNspan · 10-29-2008, 02:37 PM

^^^ lol

cool thread.

Rey of Spots · 10-29-2008, 02:38 PM

Who said anything about the 13 colonies? I'm just saying who
the hell would want to stay in Ala FUCKING Bama.

*exitspeed* · 10-29-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DUFFM4N

really getting some use outta this one eh mel?

It seems to be hella relevant right now.

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rey of Spots

Who said anything about the 13 colonies? I'm just saying who
the hell would want to stay in Ala FUCKING Bama.

Oh I know.

Just saying there were no "Americans" in Alabama in 1776.

Quote:

Originally Posted by exitspeed

It seems to be hella relevant right now.

I got you a new sig.

Rey of Spots · 10-29-2008, 02:40 PM

True, because the Native Americans were from India.

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rey of Spots

True, because the Native Americans were from India.

Yeah because a people we raped, pillaged, and forced to become citizens really consider themselves American.

*exitspeed* · 10-29-2008, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ESmorz

Oh I know.

Just saying there were no "Americans" in Alabama in 1776.

I got you a new sig.

I don't get it...I'm from WI...

TheWolf · 10-29-2008, 02:50 PM

guns solve everything...

Rey of Spots · 10-29-2008, 02:51 PM

Too bad we won't be able to buy guns once Obama gets elected.

murda-c · 10-29-2008, 02:56 PM

That's why i already bought mine.

Matej · 10-29-2008, 02:56 PM

Guns are for red state conspiracy theorists to protect themselves from imaginary threats.

ESmorz · 10-29-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exitspeed

I don't get it...I'm from WI...

hella hella hella hella hella

murda-c · 10-29-2008, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matej

Guns are for red state conspiracy theorists to protect themselves from imaginary threats.

I just like mine because it makes a hellacious noise and has a 2 foot muzzle flash, lol.

10-29-2008, 12:31 PM	#1
Andrew Bohan Post Whore! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Location: Location Posts: 8,330 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Dear Red States Dear Red States, We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington , Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high-tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. Peace out, Blue States

10-29-2008, 01:05 PM	#2
Rey of Spots Zilvia Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cerritos, CA Age: 35 Posts: 154 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	We also have the Governator. Crips and Bloods. __________________ Zilvia. Serious business.

10-29-2008, 01:07 PM	#3
shishcabobers Zilvia Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: temecula Posts: 900 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	__________________ D-STREET.NET

10-29-2008, 01:14 PM	#4
ESmorz Post Whore! Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: It Looks Like A Dong Posts: 6,902 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	The only thing red states were good for was slaves and presidents who like dome. __________________

10-29-2008, 01:18 PM	#6
MudRacer Zilvia Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: SoCali-IE Posts: 645 Trader Rating: (6) Feedback Score: 6 reviews	That was a great insight. Thank you. It applies to the population of the red states and clearly describes the essence of these states and the people within. __________________

10-29-2008, 01:24 PM	#7
Walperstyle Nissanaholic! Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Alberta, Red Derp Age: 40 Posts: 1,729 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	...and canada gets control of its resources again __________________ KA-T ORG-Function over Flush

10-29-2008, 01:31 PM	#9
exitspeed aWingThing.com Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI Age: 41 Posts: 20,898 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	__________________ What I do for a living...www.mhrussell.com

10-29-2008, 01:43 PM	#10
SexPanda Post Whore! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Where ever there is free beer Posts: 3,239 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	YOu guys can have a fucked up country. I'll move my happy ass back to Ireland. At least I'll get drunk all the time and have a sweet 200sx turbo. __________________ BRAND NEW GReddy PRofec E-01 EBC for sale, Cheap!

10-29-2008, 01:56 PM	#11
azndoc Post Whore! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Los Angeles Age: 39 Posts: 9,487 Trader Rating: (47) Rides Gallery: azndoc Feedback Score: 47 reviews

10-29-2008, 02:08 PM	#12
shishcabobers Zilvia Addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: temecula Posts: 900 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	__________________ D-STREET.NET

10-29-2008, 02:17 PM	#14
Matej Post Whore! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: N/A Posts: 9,423 Trader Rating: (39) Feedback Score: 39 reviews	So glad Missouri is a blue state this year. Too bad everyone assumes Kansas City is in Kansas.

10-29-2008, 02:32 PM	#15
kablam Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Age: 31 Posts: 35 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Sounds like it's time to get the hell out of Alabama.

10-29-2008, 02:36 PM	#17
ESmorz Post Whore! Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: It Looks Like A Dong Posts: 6,902 Trader Rating: (2) Feedback Score: 2 reviews	Cause Alabama was one of the 13 colonies... __________________

10-29-2008, 02:37 PM	#18
spikNspan Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: San Jeezy Age: 35 Posts: 488 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	^^^ lol cool thread. __________________

10-29-2008, 02:38 PM	#19
Rey of Spots Zilvia Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cerritos, CA Age: 35 Posts: 154 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Who said anything about the 13 colonies? I'm just saying who the hell would want to stay in Ala FUCKING Bama. __________________ Zilvia. Serious business.

10-29-2008, 02:40 PM	#22
Rey of Spots Zilvia Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cerritos, CA Age: 35 Posts: 154 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	True, because the Native Americans were from India. __________________ Zilvia. Serious business.

10-29-2008, 02:50 PM	#25
TheWolf Zilvia FREAK! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Orange Park, FL (Jax) Posts: 1,468 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	guns solve everything... __________________ Eye on the Prize

10-29-2008, 02:51 PM	#26
Rey of Spots Zilvia Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cerritos, CA Age: 35 Posts: 154 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	Too bad we won't be able to buy guns once Obama gets elected. __________________ Zilvia. Serious business.

10-29-2008, 02:56 PM	#27
murda-c Post Whore! Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Montgomery County, MD Age: 33 Posts: 3,197 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	That's why i already bought mine. __________________

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