to get revenge or not

[jilo]

ive been with this girl for over six years now, living together for 5, she is 5 years younger than me. our relationship was never great, but has deteriorated for a while and i see it being due to me not being fully interested in her for a long time, getting depressed about it and her losing confidence or respect in me because of it. the girl was never really that interesting to me in that, all we really did was have sex, smoke and hang out. it was never really the relationship that i wanted, i always wanted someone smarter that i could actually share life with, instead of just being there. i clould never really havein depth conversations with her at all. lots of my friends agree that she is an incompitent fuck. well, after 6 years of trying to get this girl to growup and act like an adult, id been getting completely sick of her and her shit, always being messy, not taking responsibility in her life, doing drugs n shit, plenty of stuff.
recently she had started blowing me off, and i knewit was because she was cheating. i called her out on it, but being the weak hearted individual that she is, she completly denied it. i moved out and started getting my life on track. she on the other hand is living with a cokehead drunk that she was cheating on me with, in our old apartment. i tried giving her a second chance and stupidly beleiving her lies. i am or was too insecure to beleive my own instincts about things. i put stuff aside feelings i shouldnt have. she told me nothing happened, that they were friends and her friends just kept her away from me and made the situation worse, and like a fool i started to beleive it.
so for the past two weeks weve been talking about taking it slow and trying to get back together. she has been talking about the slow part alot more than i have though, i let myself get sucked in and hurt and addicted to her. i told her all of this, and she seems to feel bad, she crys and sometimes i beleive her.
ive been beleiving her way too much actually and hurting myself bad from it.
yesterday i found out that a week ago, when we had plans to go out dancing she had blown me off and said her phone was dead. she was actually out with the douchebag kid shes now with.
now that i have further proof of her being a complete and total whore, im wondering what i should do. she dosent know that i fully know. we had plans today to go out, spend the day have fun, get a hotel room and fuck all night.
what id like to do, is absolutley fuck her rotten tonight bust her snatch up real good, and then right as im done tell her i know everything and kick her ass out the hotel room and tell her never to even think of me again.

on the other hand, the kid is going to jail in like a month, and im thinking that if i dont come out with what i know and tell her off, just play her instead of her playing me, wait till shes lonley and wants me (which i absolutley know she does) and fuck her a few times maybe drag her heart through some bs, cheat in front of her, shit like that. when i tell her i dont want her and she can never have me, she freaks out and crys like crazy, so i know she still has something in there for me, however small and stupid it is.

either which way, no matter what i do, since i always felt that she was bad and i protectd myself, shes getting evicted from our old apartment which i never signed the lease to, owes a 1000$ electrical bill in her name, and best of all, I BOUGHT HER 240 VERT SHELL FOR 300 BUCKS! we had gotten a 240 and put my gt30 sr into it and had plans for it to be "our" car. well she needed money and now its mine!!

sorry for the rant but its been a stressful situation. hit me up with some clear headed knowledge.

[Csomme]

Dude, just get away. Don't even think, no revenge, just go man. Fuck that shit.


Stop it.

It sounds like you know that you should stop being with her and entertaining her childish ways but you choose not to for some reason. So man up and find another girl or go solo for a while.

[DataXUnknown]

Be mature, just stop talking to her.

Revenge can be really stupid sometimes. To be honest, I can't even be with a girl that smokes, let alone does drugs. Thats a long relationship, but she fucked you over so just let her go and move on. I wouldn't even waste my time fucking her.

[jilo]

thats pretty much what my heart is telling me, i just want to do it on my terms so bad and see her feel remorse. ive gotten cheated on by the past two girls i loved and i seem to want to win at the end.

but on the bright side, ive got two or three parties to hit up this weekend so it shouldnt be a problem having fun!

[HyperTek]

there is a saying, she knows you will take her back when she makes mistakes, so she is bound to do those same mistakes/cheat again, because she already knows she can come back home to you.

You are the prize, if she messes this up, she looses out on a great guy who actually cared for her and treated her right/and stays out of trouble. It sucks but yeah man, gotta think about yourself that way sometimes, she will miss out on a great guy.

unrelated, but one of my old female friends *shes a freaking skank btw, its like dudes would get in line to get with her because she wouldnt be single for a week and it would always be the next guy who went up to talk to her * well my friend she was going thru rough times with her guy, and she met this dude, they got drunk and yadda yadda.. then she posted it on facebook, how she didnt mean it, saying she could get sex with anyone but only love one person, and eventually she wanted her guy back.. sucker ass dude took her back. I was thinking to myself "poor guy, does he know he got a skank?" So yeah from third person point of view, shit looks bad.

[davirene]

Your stuck in circle.....you hurt me...I hurt you....etc....

You yourself said she is inmature and on drugs... just walk...dont look back....There is somebody for everybody out there....and obviously she is not for you...

You should be going out and finding somebody who has the sensibility and stability you seek.....unless you enjoy being used, kicked, and stepped on by a kid? Dont forget about the STD's!!! You said she recently she slept with somebody else....If she caught something it wont show up right away.....so chances are you to will be exposed to whatever she may have caught....

There are so many beautiful (non-crackheaded) women out there....dont stay caught up with one your not happy with!!!

[LimeLite Racing]

Sounds like you're a good dude. Chicks know they're hard to come
across these days. It's her loss, not yours. Go out and have a good time man. Enjoy your life without all of that extra stress.

[tricky_ab]

Don't be a dick...Just break it off and be done with it...

[ronmcdon]

If you want revenge, focus on doing well for yourself and find someone better.

Wouldn't call what it is love either, and atp I foubt its even infatuation
You were in a rut when together.
You prob feel resmorseful and bitter for losing her, but that's about it.

Ok, hypothetically, let say you get what you want.
She dumps the guy for good and doesn't cheat on any other dude.
You'd be stuck in the same miserable sitution for 5 years.
If it wasn't that great for you, it probably wasn't for her.
Is that really what you want?

Also ask yourself, what type of attention gets you going?
I'm not mocking you.
Everyone likes to get a kick out of some sort of attention.
Some ppl like to fight, it's stimulating.
Despite what they say ("Oh no, I hate drama"), imo actions speak louder than words.
Knowing what you want in life is important.

My advice to you is to try to make the next 5 years more rewarding than the last.
Revenge probably isn't going to further that.
Man up & move on.
Use that anger as a source of motivation.

[w0nderbr3ad]

Throw poo at her and walk out.

Seriously..just do as everyone else has said and just leave. There's no point wasting energy on someone like that. Do something more constructive and find a girl who likes to talk about her hobbies instead of random intoxicated nonsense/bs. Those type of girls will have those indepth converstaions you seek. Play the field for a while and don't get attached.

[naibaf]

No matter what we say, you know this sucker is going to go back with this cheating skank. poor fool.

[RiversideS13]

I know you were hurt but it is the best just walk away. drama sucks and she made many bad decisions.....she needs to face the consequence like an adult now. if she is not as ideal as you would like to spend your rest of life, why waste time and effort. you cannot fix stupid

[ToddgoesJapan]

It sounds like you just want to get out of it... so do just that, take your car (unless it's in her name) and just move on. Like other people have said, either go solo or find a decent girl... somebody with higher life standards. That's why I don't go for high school relationships, all girls at my school want to do is get high and fuck. So I've been single for pretty much all my school career.

Be the more mature one, don't seek revenge, just drop it and let her fuck up her own life.

[zspeedrft]

fuck the drama! move on!

[meteorite_flo]

OP Something like that thing happened to me, but I just walked away without even telling the bitch why. I just stopped calling/visiting her, I even deleted her number off my phone. Now, she be texting me out the blue with "hi". I just ignore it and act like nothing happened.

EDIT: Plus, there are so many better girls out there anyway.

[spoolandslide]

That's what happens when you fall in love.

[creyes13491]

just let her go. be mature about it, cuz if you get your revenge. the problem that you have now might get bigger in the future.

[Xplat]

Yeah, I'm kind of getting the vibe too that no matter what we say, you're still going to go back to this chick. You've given us waaay more reasons than necessary to break up with her. People break up over lesser reasons, but here you are contemplating whether you should do something about it. Let's be honest, your revenge idea is probably nothing more than a pipe dream. You're talking about this dude she's cheating with like him going to jail in a month is going to fix your relationship.

Also, about her 'feelings' she has for you. OF COURSE she's going to get upset when someone she is DEPENDENT on threatens to leave her sorry ass. She'll say whatever you want to hear just so you won't leave, but that doesn't forgive what she has been doing behind your back and above all thinking she's going to get away with it.

You clearly don't understand how much you're worth as a person, several other people have said it too. You seem like the better person in this relationship. She's only going to hurt you and inhibit you from living your life the way you envision it, but because you have been with her for so long it's kind of become the norm to be with her.

Get this through your head. If you know she is cheating on you, and she thinks she is getting away with it, what makes you think she won't do it again if you stay with her?

Just let her go and move on with your life. You WILL find someone better. I have several friends that broke up 5 or 6+ year relationships only to find someone better whom they are much happier with and even got married / had kids and are happily chugging along with their lives.

I think we all know what you should do, but it's ultimately your decision.

[HyperTek]

this guy going to jail, females will cling to that shit because they think they need to be there for him.. ive seen it happen b4 and it fucking sucks. It can be frustrating too, esp if females dont always come around for you and you typically get attached to the ones that do.

[drftwerks]

holy shit, just bounce.

[treken2t87]

The best plan of action is to cut her off completely and, after making sure the car is in your possession legally...make that vert the cleanest one in your city....everytime she sees you rollin' in that clean car, you will have your sweet revenge :)

Don't waste any more time/effort on her... put it towards bettering yourself. You won't regret it.

[Soup Nazi]

When seeking revenge, make sure to dig two graves. Let it go

[mrpeepers]

best way to get revenge is to make a sex tape and put it on the intarwebs.
start by posting a pic to garner interest

[jilo]

No matter what we say, you know this sucker is going to go back with this cheating skank. poor fool.

trust me, im not a retard or a poor fool. im making an edjucated decision by asking for advice. my mind is just clouded with anger and a hard dick. thanks for YOURE advice. i have a real big problem with people that cheat, and wont take that shit. i was kind enough to give her a second chance by talking to her again, thats it!

i dont think im going to do anything stupid at all. im just going to tell her off and be done with it. theres really no use in making myself feel bad for something i did to an asshole. i can make her feel bad with my words just as easy as anything else. her problem is she actually listens to me, i have always been able to make her see the truth of a situation. what she did with it afterwords was up to her. she never really fufilled me in what i needed out of a gf. i knew i couldnt have kids with her or marry her because of how stupid she acted. i settled for second best for way too long and it fucked my head up. i do second guess myself and think im worth less, and this wil be a turning point for that bullshit. ive got no reason to give a fuck anymore and i plan to use that to my advantage.

although i have been thinking of sending her new buddy a video i took of her sucking my dick just the other day. i think hed like that!
and trust i was never thinking of his going to jail as something that would give me opportunity to fix things. i just see it as proof of how fucking stupid this girl is. i stayed with her through so much bs, taught her so much about cars that shes considering re-ringing her civic herself. i brought this girl from being a 16 yr old kid into supposedly something better. im going to chalk it up to a somewhat good time and thats it. on to bigger and better things. ive got alot to offer a girl that deserves it, and its time to put in work to find it and make it mine.
that was also one thing i never liked about or relationship, there was no chase. she came on to me real strong from thebeginning and jsut started staying with me over and over till we lived with each other. come to think of it, she was probably just using me emotionally for a long time. oh well fuck it, no use worrying about someone who didnt make me happy all the way.

thanks for all the words people! have a good summer i know im gonna. plenty of better pussy to go for!

[blasting_speed]

That's a big age difference. I stopped there. That was your problem.

2 years, 3 years. Maybe. 5??? You might as well have gone 10 years and hoped to make a family with her.

[R_G]

_With all the info you have given, i can easily say.
She was never serious with you , she was lost . You came along and you showed her a full range of emotions and she probably enjoyed that. It sounds like you gave her Respect.
Your problem was that you took care of her and she knew that you would be there for her. I hate to say it but , you acted like a father or a mother . She could screw up and you were there for her .

_You problem with her is that you probably never loved her, you where just really attached. You probably wanted a best friend and you found some common ground with said girl and you started to get attached.
_Get you life on track and forget about her. Do not look for a relationship with anyone until you know that you are almost done with getting your life on track and go out and have fun. There is more but , that's enough. You have realized this a long time but you needed some on to talk about it.
Find some different friends that she does not know. Find positive friendships and good people to hang out with . Get plenty of friends that are girls and hot ones helps out , they come in handy when you have girl problems.

I wish you the best of luck.
" PARTY ON DUDE "

[ToddgoesJapan]

trust me, im not a retard or a poor fool. im making an edjucated decision...

A what kind of decision?

[drift freaq]

That's a big age difference. I stopped there. That was your problem.

2 years, 3 years. Maybe. 5??? You might as well have gone 10 years and hoped to make a family with her.

A 5 year age difference between 2 mature people is nothing. The problem lies in the fact that he started with a underage girl, when he was 21. That was the first problem.
Second problem is neither of them are fully matured people yet. Some girls manage to be fully matured by 21 but most do not get there till they are around 24.
Men are lucky to be mature by 24 and usually are not till 27(sorry guys its just the truth you realize as you get older) its just the way things are. IMO

Now there are exceptions but in this case? Does not sound like it.

OP move on, she has issues and is playing games. By your own words you do love her.
She has not proven remorseful about her actions in truth.

Being best friends is important in a relationship but it does not always mean that the the two people can be together.

I would let her know that the car is not hers to keep. You were not married. LOL P

[MandTPhotography]

Just bounce on that bitch.

Hardest part is to continue ignoring her, but you gotta stay strong man.

[Kaizen.]

The best revenge is massive success.

You came in this world by yourself, your going to die by yourself. A coffin is only made for one person, you don't need her in your life.

[ronmcdon]

idk about the maturity of chicks.
think a lot of maturity has to do with having more control of emotional sway.
imo, guys are generally MORE mature.
they keep their emotions more in check, and don't need as much attention.

I've dated girls of diff ages.
teens are the worst.
chicks in their 20's can go either way,
depending if their spoilt w/ attention and/or have some sort of substance abuse issue.
(alcholics are the worst in my experience, avoid like the plague).

based on my experience, maturity consists of:
when a chick is in her thirties or older,
has the determination to get through college.
has some semblance of an established career,
is disciplined about keeping their body in reasonable shape,
genuinely cares about others and isn't rediculously self centered, etc

About the car, if she's desparate to hold on to it,
i'd just say be the better person and let her keep it.
It's not a new car or a house.
I never let something trivial stress me out.
You time and energy should be worth more than a few hundred bucks.

[jilo]

nah, the car is alllll mine! im gonna get a bill of sale for it today and give her the rest of the money. 600 bucks isnt bad for a 240 vert right? lol. especially when its got my coupe doors, 300zx brakes, heim jointed everything, and my 350whp sr20 in it. maybe il post some pics of the ruit of my labors today!
im really happy to actually give a shit about cars again, for a while i just didnt care about anything becuse of her. she got me really depressed being such a dumbfuck. i cant tell you how much better i feel now that im away.

[jilo]

r_G you said it absolutley perfect too, i did act like a father and try to make her better, i also never really loved her but i became waay too attached. that shit is exactly right.

[chiboy002]

man i was on the same boat with you. i didnt date a drug-user who cheats but i did date a girl who was crazy. she wouldnt get off my ass, always texting and calling me and being up in my shit. i wasn't really into the relationship so i would spend time at home or with friends rather than talking to her and being with her, which made things worse. i guess she had self-esteem issues and was always tryna get me to say she's pretty and hot and all that, worst part is she was lying to herself about it and telling me she could get any guy at her school but wanted me (i went to a different school anyways... lol) And so eventually i told her to fuck herself and get out my life. She was probing into everythng going on in my life, and at this point in time i didn't want her doing that shit, if any, because i was having big family problems and i couldn't think straight. So she started hinting on what the problem was so i had told her to go. Anyways, after like 3 months i got back with her, she was cool and all but i didnt really like her as a gf both times but i still got back like an idiot, and so she got even more attached. Telling me she loves me all fucking day, and that im the best shes ever had and stupid gay shit like that. Eventually i took the initiative, i made a google voice account and made a 773 area code #. Told her i was getting a new number cause of telemarketers, gave her that one. Broke it off, deleting her from everything, deleted my facebook (didn't want it anyways so it helped) and she texts the false number thinking ill answer.

It was this little bit of satisfaction that she was interested in me and pretty much at my mercy, although it does sound evil and fucked up, i enjoyed messing with her and shit. she was just too cocky, thought too much of herself and thought everyone was below her.

Cut her off man, do what you have to but let her go. Don't seek revenge cause it will always come back to you, if she knows your into cars - its going to be aimed there, or she can go crazy and harm you. Before you think about revenge think of how unstable she is. She does drugs and that shit fucks with you. I know some people who used to gang bang and when i asked how they could kill people and not give a shit they told me it was drugs. Theyd get fucked up and then go out and shoot the person they wanted to, or wait in their house till they went to bed then shot them. I say just leave it as goodbye. If it were me, id do it on a good note cause i always had a problem with having enemies. I cater to everyone but if i can, i like to keep things on a neutral level. I feel you should do the same, you don't want to tell her to fuck off and go die or something that'll piss her off and then SHE seeks revenge on you.

[jilo]

weeeelp, i did what i wanted to do yesterday. both things. i did go fuck the lkife out of her and i did tell her that i knew she was bullshitting me and wasnt being true for the 2nd time. but i didnt do it wrong. i talked with her for quite a few hours and let her down gently.
she really needs help, mentally. she was always quiet about her feelings and she knows that was our downfall. she finally told me last night that her family dosent want to talk to her about it, and the only people that do are her dumb ass friends that give bad advice. her family always told her that its wrong to talk about your feelings and your just supposed to be tough about it, which shes not. shes not tough in the slightest.
i told her that i cannot do this type of shit anymore whatsoever. i gave her a 2nd chance and she blew it and thats the end of it. theres no more trust, and after 6 years i can honestly say that theres only like 5% of me that wants to have what we used to have. i know it can never happen again so its completely out of my mind.
basically, i have been a father figure to her and she did need that in her life. i tought her a lot of lessons and a lot of stuff about how to live.
shes telling me that she has such severe anxiety sand depression that she dosent know wtf to do with herself, she dosent have self esteem anymore, and thinks shes worthless. basically she needs professional help and we both agreed on that.

im just glad i did things the right way instead of the wrong way. i really have no reason at all to act like i wanted to, and just play her out. we had waay to many good times and shared way too much of ourselves with each other for me to do that.
i guarantee shell never forget me and i hope shell use this as a lesson and live correctly after the dust settles.

thanks once again for all the insight fellas.

got the bill of sale for the 240 tho!!! werdd!! ill post some pics up sometime soon.

[PRADOgy]

YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS .... LOW QUALITY BUT ITS THE ONLY ONE I FOUND!


YouTube - Dave chappelles revenge (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZfp2JeavD4)

[DALAZ_68]

in the words of our dear friend Soreballz : D.T.B.!

[I LUV MY S13]

a father figure that bones the chick, nice

[takeshis13]

a father figure that bones the chick, nice

^^ Lol....

That's cool if you help her get help, but don't get too caught up in that either. It'll be harder for her to move on if she keeps seeing you around.

[azndoc]

You can't fix people.

They have to fix themselves.

Done and done.

[jilo]

`thats where im at right now, i want nothing to do with this girl.
shes enough of an asshat that i dont even want to be her friend. shit, shes hot as fuck looks damn close to megan fox in my eyes, and i dont even want to fuck her again. just such an asshole. i cant wait to find someone good that i can marry and have kids with, and not worry.
fucking douchebags. i need to go meet a girl at a fuckin library or somethin.