I hate it when... (Public restroom edition)

[XeroX]

You go to a public restroom to poo, and you lay down the little toilet seat condom/sheet thingy, and you sit down and notice that the seat is still warm from the previous persons a$$...blehhhhh

I think this is the ONLY time i welcome a cold toilet seat....

Oh and tell me why in one of the stalls someone wiped $hit all over the toilet paper roll, and it was green....yea, it was green...and yea, it was on the toilet paper roll...sides and everything...:cool:

[greddy2die]

rofl, that sucks man..

I avoid public restrooms at all costs..

Seeing as how I used to work for the city down here, i know of all the sweet restrooms to go to if its an emergency only though..lol

[jibanez]

i hate it when theres pubes in the urinal :-/

[ANVIL]

thats fucking sick.

[Brian]

i hate it when theres pubes in the urinal :-/

quoted .

[idahotuner]

good rule of thumb, if the seat is up it has just been cleaned.

[I LUV MY S13]

avoid public bathrooms as much as possible..they're disgusting haha

[allntrlundrgrnd]

Ugh i hate it when there is no other option than using a public shitter.

I dont think I ever shat in high school toilets while i was there, and if i did, i went to the health room to use that one cause it was always clean.

[xKennie]

Ugh i hate it when there is no other option than using a public shitter.

I dont think I ever shat in high school toilets while i was there, and if i did, i went to the health room to use that one cause it was always clean.

i second this hahahah

[speedgod^s13]

On the rare occasion that I do have to use the public shitter, I don't even sit on the toilet. :rofl:

[NISMO_tuner]

Ugh i hate it when there is no other option than using a public shitter.

I dont think I ever shat in high school toilets while i was there, and if i did, i went to the health room to use that one cause it was always clean.

I had to do it almost everyday during track practice. :ugh:
Good thing was that we had our own toilets and they were all clean.

I still wouldnt sit down on the toilets...hahaha

[JVD]

i hate it when theres pubes in the urinal :-/
Ya man.

It's always like 2" long ones too. Where you're like... did bigfoot use this urinal before me?

[zenki.life]

...and you look on the stall and see all most eeevil most ignorant shit ever haha. swastikas and what not. i dint know someone could be so angry as they shit. haha :madfawk:

[Future240]

I hate it when there is a puddle of piss in front of the urinal

[Sileighty_85]

...and you look on the stall and see all most eeevil most ignorant shit ever haha. swastikas and what not. i dint know someone could be so angry as they shit. haha :madfawk:

Haha reminds me of Dane Cooks Rant on public bathrooms

Lolz

[ayuaddict]

I fucking call housekeeping and ask them to clean ___ bathroom.

after they are done, i go inside and put a temporarily closed sign outside.

whole bathroom to myself, and that weird pale girl who always seems to be wet.

its nice working at a hotel.

[murda-c]

this one time i went into the bathroom after a movie and noticed the floor was wet near the urinals, and one of the urinals had a high water level, so naturally I avoided it.

Then this guy comes in wearing obviously expensive jeans and shoes, and pisses in this urinal, but tries to do one of those flush-before-you-finish-pissing-thingys...he got nasty piss water all over his pants and shoes, it was much more entertaining than the movie i had seen.

anyway, i hate it when you're using a urinal and someone comes in and stands at the one next to you, even though there's an open one further away.

Oh, also question, do you guys hate it when i drop my pants to piss at the urinal? haha

[ESmorz]

I hate when I lift the seat and there is a shit and a bloody tampon just chillin.

[NISMO_tuner]

I hate when I lift the seat and there is a shit and a bloody tampon just chillin.

thats gross

i think i lost my appetite

[Killa_D]

I hate when I lift the seat and there is a shit and a bloody tampon just chillin.
holly shit that just nasty

[ESmorz]

holly shit that just nasty

broDAWg I know this.

Or when you piss on your hands, and you forget to wash your hands, then you go to eat a sandwich and you can smell the piss on your hands when the sandwich is near your face.

FECES

[murda-c]

broDAWg I know this.

Or when you piss on your hands, and you forget to wash your hands, then you go to eat a sandwich and you can smell the piss on your hands when the sandwich is near your face.

FECES

That's kinda like this one time i had chipotle so my fingers smelled like onions and shit, then i wacked off, and right as i finish wackin this chick called, and she came over and blew me then told me my dick tasted like onions. We had a good laugh about it.

I'm not sure if she happy or upset when she realized that.

[Brian]

I hate when I have to go peepee and there is only one urinal open and there are dudes all lined up going peepee.

I get nervous and look for a bathroom with doors so I don't have other dudes trying to look at me weiner.

[SimpleS14]

I hate it when the urinals are 3 inches of the ground and no walls between them.

I'm not even going to talk about the bathrooms in a packed club lol I remember it girls line was so bad, some girl rolled up into the guys bathroom...she was mad drunk too lol

That's kinda like this one time i had chipotle so my fingers smelled like onions and shit, then i wacked off, and right as i finish wackin this chick called, and she came over and blew me then told me my dick tasted like onions. We had a good laugh about it.

I'm not sure if she happy or upset when she realized that.

LOL WTF?

:rofl:

[Bob_Sagat]

I fucking call housekeeping and ask them to clean ___ bathroom.

after they are done, i go inside and put a temporarily closed sign outside.

whole bathroom to myself, and that weird pale girl who always seems to be wet.

its nice working at a hotel.

LOl, Do I detect a moaning myrtle reference?

[neverrain]

I hate when I have to go peepee and there is only one urinal open and there are dudes all lined up going peepee.

I get nervous and look for a bathroom with doors so I don't have other dudes trying to look at me weiner.

Stage fright? If I caught some dude looking at my junk I would either:

a) take one step back and piss all over him
b) punch him in the head right behind his ear
c) put my hand on the back of his head and slam his face into the wall

[VROOOM]

i used to work at the $2 movie theatre in Seal Beach and i swear i saw and heard some crazy stuff in the bathroom there.

i remember going into the restroom and seeing shit stuck to the wall about 2 inches from the ceiling.

some kid came and told me some guy was beating off in the restroom. he was and he got arrested.

i followed an elderly man into the restroom to do a restroom check and i found the man trying to wash his hands in a urinal. i kinda got him over to the sink and helped him out. that one made me never want to get old.

and the old projectionist used to pull dirty tampons out of the toilet with his bare hands. disgusting

and the womens restroom is always dirtier than the mens

[neverrain]

and the womens restroom is always dirtier than the mens


This is true. Waaay back in the day I used to work at Chipotle and I had to clean the cans once in a while. Never once was the women's restroom cleaner than the men's. Women are duurty.

[murda-c]

Stage fright? If I caught some dude looking at my junk I would either:

a) take one step back and piss all over him
b) punch him in the head right behind his ear
c) put my hand on the back of his head and slam his face into the wall

Lol you're so angry.

[unlegendary]

i was at a Borders and I had to take a deuce in the public bathroom, then my friends went in, watered down like 50 paper towels and threw it in my stall.

I hate it when all the other stalls are used and the only stall open has piss all over the toilet rim, especially when i have to take a shit.

[aoiken3]

I fucking call housekeeping and ask them to clean ___ bathroom.

after they are done, i go inside and put a temporarily closed sign outside.

whole bathroom to myself, and that weird pale girl who always seems to be wet.

its nice working at a hotel.

which hotel do you work at? because if i ace my interview next week, we might be working at the same hotel.

and yes, public toilets make me want to barf

[karl wasabi]

I hate it when you go to take a piss in one of the stalls and there is shit all over the floor and you happen to be standing in it...

[XeroX]

good rule of thumb, if the seat is up it has just been cleaned.

Im going to start pissing on toilet seets and lifting them up just to fool you with my trickery har har harrrr

Ugh i hate it when there is no other option than using a public shitter.

I dont think I ever shat in high school toilets while i was there, and if i did, i went to the health room to use that one cause it was always clean.
Yea HS b rooms were the worst...I never pooped in HS...at least in the school bathrooms, i would try not to really even go piss in there either, always STUNK hella bad like urine and pooo

this one time i went into the bathroom after a movie and noticed the floor was wet near the urinals, and one of the urinals had a high water level, so naturally I avoided it.

Then this guy comes in wearing obviously expensive jeans and shoes, and pisses in this urinal, but tries to do one of those flush-before-you-finish-pissing-thingys...he got nasty piss water all over his pants and shoes, it was much more entertaining than the movie i had seen.

anyway, i hate it when you're using a urinal and someone comes in and stands at the one next to you, even though there's an open one further away.

Oh, also question, do you guys hate it when i drop my pants to piss at the urinal? haha

Thats halarious! i would pay money to have seen that...

That's kinda like this one time i had chipotle so my fingers smelled like onions and shit, then i wacked off, and right as i finish wackin this chick called, and she came over and blew me then told me my dick tasted like onions. We had a good laugh about it.

I'm not sure if she happy or upset when she realized that.

I was eating jalapenos one time (whole peppers) and i didnt wash my hands, soon after some chick came over and i started messin around with her, yea lets just say i didnt get any cause her shit was BURNIN hella bad, she was like WTF?!??!?!! Took me a minute to figure it out, she was pissed...lol hella failsauzzee

i used to work at the $2 movie theatre in Seal Beach and i swear i saw and heard some crazy stuff in the bathroom there.

i remember going into the restroom and seeing shit stuck to the wall about 2 inches from the ceiling.


seriously i mean are people pooping in their hands and throwing/smeering it? i dont get this....i member one bathroom, some guy shat on the toilet rim...it was horrible..hahaha

[VROOOM]

Yea HS b rooms were the worst...I never pooped in HS...at least in the school bathrooms, i would try not to really even go piss in there either, always STUNK hella bad like urine and pooo






the restrooms at the high school i went to didnt even have doors on the stalls. you took a shit in front of everyone. kinda wrong.

[XeroX]

the restrooms at the high school i went to didnt even have doors on the stalls. you took a shit in front of everyone. kinda wrong.

Yea, my highschool started with doors on the stalls, then after so many people got caught smoking in there they started taking them down, the few they left with doors (i dont know why they left like 2 in each b room) they ended up getting kicked and ripped off the hinges...like wtf?

[ESmorz]

and the womens restroom is always dirtier than the mens

NyI_NSNbexA

[DevilZ]

I used to avoid or be disgusted to go to the public bathroom.... Just go to a third world country where there is no toilet at all and you wipe your ass with your hand. I did this for 3 months and I was happy to see a toilet didn't care if it was dirty.

NEVER go to a third world country

[BustedS13]

i can barely use a public restroom. i'll sit down and shoot some of the issue out but never get the whole dump until i'm in a trusted, secure bathroom.

[highwaystar22]

I hate walking in and hearing some random dude on his cell poopin it up trying to act like he's not poopin.

I just had this happen at Target with this guy who picks up the phone with, "Hey sweetie." I let him get into his convo, and then flushed the urinal so the other party knew he was in a public restroom doing the deed while he was on the phone.... dirty.


Maybe at home, but most certainly not in public.

[Sileighty_85]

YouTube - Dane Cook - Public Restroom (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEhs5NuHAa4)

[dert420sx]

i hate it when theres pubes in the urinal :-/


can someone please tell me how they also get ON TOP of the urinal? :wtf:

[iHeartTheTouge]

this thread reminded me of this, i'm sure its been posted before but its very relevant. i know its long, but read all of it if you have the time. its worth it.

All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathroom. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience:

0.Occupied

1.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.

2.Poo on seat.

3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.

4.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.

Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.

I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.


Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder in one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.

-

Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: (1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.

It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.

"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with the suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"

Next door I could hear fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth.... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.

-

Alas, it is evidently difficulty to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by a string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.

After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.

As I left, I glanced to the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.

I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has manged to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.

[dert420sx]

Best of CL post.

man, that story was epic. i remember reading that a long time ago surfing the Best of CL.

+1 for the memories! lol

[cserrano86]

Have you ever had the guy taking a leak next to you let one RRRIIIIIPPPP??? You wanna laugh but you dont wanna make it awkward for the both of you...

Also, if you've ever taken a crap on a toilet with an auto flush... I hate it when you lay down that sheet, turn to drop your pants, and the toilet flushes taking the sheet with it... WTF? Lol...

Oh, and I also hate it when there's a fucking line for the RR... Fuck that, trash can it is...

[90hatchie]

Have you ever had the guy taking a leak next to you let one RRRIIIIIPPPP??? You wanna laugh but you dont wanna make it awkward for the both of you...


hhaa im always takin a dump at work and it was around 8am when the drivers come in
im takin my time and a driver comes in uses urinal and all of a sudden i heard the loudest really wet fart ever
i start laughing reaaalllly bad
he goes WHO THE FUCKS IN THEIR!
i just said im poopin go away!

[MADE]

I used to avoid or be disgusted to go to the public bathroom.... Just go to a third world country where there is no toilet at all and you wipe your ass with your hand. I did this for 3 months and I was happy to see a toilet didn't care if it was dirty.

NEVER go to a third world country


Been to a couple to third world countries and I have never ever ever used my hand.

[Brian]

i used to work at the $2 movie theatre in Seal Beach and i swear i saw and heard some crazy stuff in the bathroom there.

i remember going into the restroom and seeing shit stuck to the wall about 2 inches from the ceiling.

some kid came and told me some guy was beating off in the restroom. he was and he got arrested.

i followed an elderly man into the restroom to do a restroom check and i found the man trying to wash his hands in a urinal. i kinda got him over to the sink and helped him out. that one made me never want to get old.

and the old projectionist used to pull dirty tampons out of the toilet with his bare hands. disgusting

and the womens restroom is always dirtier than the mens


please tell me it's rossmore super saver. (although it isnt seal beach i guess...)

[mrflip69]

anyway, i hate it when you're using a urinal and someone comes in and stands at the one next to you, even though there's an open one further away.


Fucking man rule. Imagine, it's an empty bathroom, you're pissing in the corner urinal, and there's like TEN other vacant urinals. Then some :ghey: comes in and uses the one next to you? That's grounds for castration lol.

For all you squatters, don't you hate it when your poop does the high dive, and the entry splash reaches you? Ewwwwww... fucking getting hepatitis or some shit from a toilet. BLAH!

Yeah, public school is the worst to go shit at. Elementary--kids climb the neighboring stalls and stare at you--FUCK, LET ME SHIT IN PEACE!

Junior high--I remember this one stall in the locker room... freaking literal mountain of crap collecting in there (went above the seat.. ughhh). Now you KNOW more than 1--hell 10 people contributed to that. God help whoever had to clean that up.

Re: 3rd World Countries... totally know what you mean man. BYOTP FFS! Ugh... had to take a shit at a mall, and none of the bathrooms//public facilities had TP. I ran around looking for restraunts so I could grab some napkins, but they were all like private ish... I'm not about to get arrested for stealing napkins and end up having to shit myself anyway. Finally find family, and a cousin hands me tissue paper :( ... like ... kleenex... common! How about some brawny? Need a man's paper towel to clean up a man's mess LOL.

[r6_240sx]

I hate taking a shit and then realizing there's no toilet paper and then having to use the toilet seat covers to wipe your ass.

As for 3rd world countries, I'm glad I was told beforehand and made sure to always carry napkins in my back pocket.

[lflkajfj12123]

5:45 - 7:00 @ 6:50 nice pubes

lA4YfsC8M0E

[Future240]

this thread reminded me of this, i'm sure its been posted before but its very relevant. i know its long, but read all of it if you have the time. its worth it.

LOFL. My cheeks hurt now

[Bubbles]

I get nervous and look for a bathroom with doors so I don't have other dudes trying to look at me weiner.



Ha ha.

Awesome.

[pungkiteater_671]

lol hate it when all the stalls are used up except one and u need to take a shit and while ur taking a shit u can hear the other fool farting and thier shit making water noises when it drops ... i try to hide my laugh lol

i do this alot cause im shame of taking shits in public restrooms whenever sumone flushes i go all out till the flush stops hahah

other than that i hate using public restrooms emergency only !!!

[pungkiteater_671]

[quote=cserrano86;2780696]Have you ever had the guy taking a leak next to you let one RRRIIIIIPPPP??? You wanna laugh but you dont wanna make it awkward for the both of you...[\quote]


hhaa im always takin a dump at work and it was around 8am when the drivers come in
im takin my time and a driver comes in uses urinal and all of a sudden i heard the loudest really wet fart ever
i start laughing reaaalllly bad
he goes WHO THE FUCKS IN THEIR!
i just said im poopin go away!

this said made me LMAO !!! happened to me previous post

[jskateborders]

well, to go against everything this thread stands for...
I love taking a shit at work. Makes me feel good, knowing that I am getting paid for taking a shit. Why poop on my own time? Ill wait till I get to work and get paid for it. Twenty minute shit? Well thats four dollars!

[Devil Man]

this thread reminded me of this, i'm sure its been posted before but its very relevant. i know its long, but read all of it if you have the time. its worth it.

i just laughed so hard reading this enitre thing...

[silpena]

anyone clean the seat with anit bacterial soap from the dispensers with a bunch of paper around ur hand and on top of that seat covers before u poop? Idk i allways do this. I even clean my seat at my house every time i go to the bathroom...... i have a phobia of getting some gross disease or infection from public bathrooms.

[lflkajfj12123]

^ you need a therapist

[silpena]

yes i do.....

[allntrlundrgrnd]

or testicles

[chrisa]

Ok, so i recently went to Japan and almost every bathroom i went to had a bidet. If you look closely at how those things work its a small mechanical tube that comes out and shoots water to clean your ass hole. So i was thinking THANK GOD i didnt use the bidet in a public restroom (only in my hotel cuz its SUPER clean) cuz if you look at that tube there is other peoples poop particles all over that lil mechanical tube and when the water shoots out to "clean" your ass hole it is in fact just shooting other peoples poop right back onto you.

[origin_s135]

@yahoo building, i was washing my hands getting ready to go back to the cube, dude walks in and uses the toilet. mother fucker starts making noises and let it rip, i busted out laughing and left.

[Bubbles]

anyone clean the seat with anit bacterial soap from the dispensers with a bunch of paper around ur hand and on top of that seat covers before u poop? Idk i allways do this. I even clean my seat at my house every time i go to the bathroom...... i have a phobia of getting some gross disease or infection from public bathrooms.


You might be an early stages Niles.

[SlideWell]

i hate it when there is piss all over the toilet seat, with the urinal right next to it too, fuckin weirdos.
i hate it when it just ranks of shit.
i hate it when someone LEAVES their shit in the toilet.
i hate pubes in the urinal as well.
i hate graffiti and ignorant shit written in the restroom.
i hate it when you poop, sometimes u get the water back in your ass, making me worry about some disease.

[VROOOM]

please tell me it's rossmore super saver. (although it isnt seal beach i guess...)

yup Super Savers in Rossmoor. i worked there for a few years. miss the place they tore it down

[Sarra]

I hate it when... You're just trying to go pee, and the fucking hooker in the stall next to you OD's, and due to the state's stupid law, you have to legally perform CPR on them (certified to perform CPR here).

Luckily, Oregon doesn't have that law, but, it is one of MANY, MANY reasons I refuse to set foot in California.

[ALTRNTV]

I hate it when... You're just trying to go pee, and the fucking hooker in the stall next to you OD's, and due to the state's stupid law, you have to legally perform CPR on them (certified to perform CPR here).

Luckily, Oregon doesn't have that law, but, it is one of MANY, MANY reasons I refuse to set foot in California.
That's law? Damnit, hopefully I have my CPR mask on me.

[janders211]

I don't even care...I'll sit down on piss, pubes whatever..when I gotta shit- it's coming out, and I can't smell my ass-so I don't care what I get on it.

I also spent some time in a greek prison and realized what a nasty crapper was (hole in the ground and dirty tp goes in a trash can next to the toilet).

[Sarra]

That's law? Damnit, hopefully I have my CPR mask on me.

Yeah, it's law in some states. If you see someone in need of CPR, you have to render assistance. In most states, it's optional to help, like if you see a car wreck or whatever.

What really pisses me off is that in California, if you have a CPR certification, you're legally required to help someone. However, if you do happen to injure someone while administering aid, they or their family can sue you. That's right, California just said 'fuck you' to the good samaritains law. :madfawk: Not ever going to Cali willingly ever.

[ALTRNTV]

Yeah, it's law in some states. If you see someone in need of CPR, you have to render assistance. In most states, it's optional to help, like if you see a car wreck or whatever.

What really pisses me off is that in California, if you have a CPR certification, you're legally required to help someone. However, if you do happen to injure someone while administering aid, they or their family can sue you. That's right, California just said 'fuck you' to the good samaritains law. :madfawk: Not ever going to Cali willingly ever.
I have CPR certification, and I'm a respiratory therapist, so I'd help out anyone regardless. lol

[highwaystar22]

Seriously youtube Penn and Teller's BullSh*t Episode on germaphobes in the US. It'll open your eyes.