The your favorite customer thread.......

[Mr.S14]

ok I was watching Clerks and they were talking about their favorite customers.......I was laughing my ass off because I knew exactly what they felt


For me its the discount guy.....No matter how low something is on sale or how much your already hooking them up, The Discount guy always ask for another discount.

[rainier]

I sell random things on craigslist all the time.

the best one was some guy made a lowball offer on my Ninja zx-9. asking like 1700.
then i said " no, are you kidding?" then he replied, "well thats my offer, its not fast enough for me anyway"

fucking dumbass, how fast does he want his damn bike? haha

[Mr.S14]

I sell random things on craigslist all the time.

the best one was some guy made a lowball offer on my Ninja zx-9. asking like 1700.
then i said " no, are you kidding?" then he replied, "well thats my offer, its not fast enough for me anyway"

fucking dumbass, how fast does he want his damn bike? haha

LOL hayabusa fast

[OKR_240SX]

I've worked at a gas station for 3 years now. My favorite person was a 24(ish) year old driving a lime green Lambo Murciélago. In the town that I live in every single gas station is a prepay station, pay at the pump, or have a pump start card that has your information on it. So his dude hits the help button cause the pump wont work. and I tell him "its our policy that you prepay or use a card out there for the pump to work." Of course I notice its a murciélago as soon as he pulls in. And he says "I drive a Lambo turn the fucking pump on" at the top of his voice, and our intercom system is quite loud. At that time we had atleast 30 people (and 3 people running registers) at the register hearing this dude, so I turned it off quick. He walks in, pushes past everyone in line, comes to me, slams down a 100 dollar bill and walks out. So I basically left his 100 bucks sitting there just waitin for any customer to grab it. He comes back in, pissed of course cause i still haven't set his pump, yelling at me. So I basically said, while trying not to laugh at this jack ass, " oh sorry you didn't say what pump you were on so I didn't set it" and of course my "Thanks, Come back again!" in a really nice voice.

[singlecamslam]

ah yes the craigslist people. I'm selling one of my cars for 2300, and he emails "will you take 900?" I just answer no. He emails me back asking why not. I tell him because he's an idiot. And his email was something something civic something.

[miravete]

i have a friend, well, not really a friend, more of a friend of a friend of a friend, etc.

hes always like...¨dude, buy this for me, ill pay you tomorrow.¨ or ¨how much for this, can you give you like 4 bucks, and the other 96 later?¨

[i8yourfwd]

I work at a bank, a customer got SUPER rowdy when she found out she was overdrawn almost $200. She of course was cussing up a storm, at random employees that worked there. We didn't do anything for her, since she was making such a big scene about it.

It just so happened to be past 6pm when she was done ranting and raving. Bank happens to close at 6pm. She proceeds to keep cussing at everyone, telling us to fuck off etc etc. She then attempts to storm out of the bank, to make a big scene. Yup, bank closed at 6pm, so the door was locked shut, she ran straight into the door, definitely vertical faceplant. It was pretty epic. She then figured that we did it as a joke, started cussing more, asking why we locked the door on her, we told her what time it was, what time we closed, and told her since it was past that time, the doors were locked. She kept yelling, told my manager to "get the fuck away" from her when my manager attempted to unlock the door. Finally she got out, even the last customer in the bank was laughing at her. Good times..

[Teddy]

I work at a fish store (for aquariums and whatnot. Laugh all you want) and I always get this one customer that makes me run for the back room.

The last time she came in, she wanted specific fish. Now generally, that's not an issue, considering you would imagine people want the exact fish they're looking at. But when they're looking at a tank with no less than 400 little fish, no longer than 2 centimeters, there is no way in hell I'm going to grab a specific fish. I generally ask a customer how many they want, and scoop out a net full, then count them out.

Well this bitch wanted specific fish from this tank. When I told her I wasn't going to grab her specific fish, simply because there are other customers in the store that need attention, she made me get the manager. My manager is on the same page as me, and he argued with her. Finally she came back to me and I picked her fish (my way). These fish were $.99 at the time. The next day she came back in with a dead one and asked for a refund. A fucking 99 cent refund. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?!

[98s14inaz]

ok I was watching Clerks and they were talking about their favorite customers.......I was laughing my ass off because I knew exactly what they felt


For me its the discount guy.....No matter how low something is on sale or how much your already hooking them up, The Discount guy always ask for another discount.

So true. (Please don't be offended by this story, my intention is not to offend) When I used to sell cars our worst nightmare was the asian/indian(dots not feathers) fobby. We jokingly called them "toohighs" because everything was priced too high and they would try to get the price down...often well below your cost on the car :keke:

Holy crap that story about the green lambo and the douche driving it was epic. I lol'd. I would have done the same thing.

I recently took over my store about two months ago. I had a customer of one of the former employees call in bitching because she didn't follow instructions and had her insurance claim denied. I told her how to fix it and she continued to bitch. She calls back again and starts cursing at me. I give her the attitude, "first of all, this conversation is being recorded" it really wasn't but I thought it was funny "second of all you need to watch your language, I'm not going to sit here listening to you verbally abusing me and if you continue I will have to hang up and you can call back when you want to be civil." She immediately starts apologizing and was a sweetheart :keke:

[SHIFT_*grind*]

Ohhhh I've had too many customer service jobs.


Valet

When you go to get someone's car from the lot, you run. Of course. I valeted on the oceanfront, and I'd always have idiots hollering "run, Forrest!" at me from their hotel rooms. Wow, you're one clever, brave sonofabitch, yelling the most overused movie quote in history from the safety of your 7th floor private balcony. Anyway, this lady comes out of the hotel I work at, hands me her valet ticket. I find the keys, and take off towards the lot. This dumb bitch has the nerve to yell the same thing at me, while I'm retrieving HER car. "Ruuuuuuun, Forrest!!!!"

I stop dead in my tracks, and turn around and stare at her for a few seconds. Then I turn back around, and walk leisurely to the parking lot. ~5 minutes later I come back with her car, and she must have felt like the world's biggest bitch because I receive profuse thanks and a $10 tip.

I loved the dumb tourist questions too. I'm giving directions, "so you get on I264..." They interrupt, "east or west?" Well, the Atlantic Ocean is right behind us...


Restaurants

The stupidity never ends.

People letting their kids run EVERYWHERE around the restaurant was the absolute worst. I'm carrying a ~50 pound tray of glassware on my shoulder and this kid jumps off the back of his dining chair and falls on the ground right in front of me, I nearly fall over him. Mommy looks, "oh Jimmy, you're so silly," and continues chatting with her friend. BITCH I ALMOST RAN YOUR KID OVER AND DROPPED 30 WATER GLASSES.

Tables that look like someone set off an appetizer grenade. Food everywhere, sugar packets ripped up into 1,000,000 shreds and distributed across the table, every conceivable solid and fluid strewn across the floor.

If you go out to eat and leave tables like this. Fuck you.

[Dirty Habit]

I had a client shit his pants one time. Just groaned and dropped about 8lbs of buttescotch puddin on to the floor and back of his pants.
I looked at him and said "alright, who forgot to tell this man about the food downstairs in the cafeteria?!"
He laughed, I got em to the restroom and he cleaned up a bit, got him back to his hotel, met up later at a bar and finished our business. lol.

In retail if you give someone 5% off something, theyll ask for 10% at the register, or the next time they come in. I remember giving this guy some money off some bags of mulch because they were ripped open onetime. About a week later guy is back at the register flipping out. So I get up there to see whats going on he's got about 20 bags of mulch, all ripped with little bits taken out of them, and he "wants his goddamn discount." Dude was asking for like 2 bucks off a bag. I argued with him for about 10 mins before he stormedout the door screaming he was never going to shop there again.
Fuck him. Fuck people like that.

[Jordn]

I sell New and Used Hondas for a living.

Says it all really, I don't need to give stories, you can imagine the stupidity. :D

[exitspeed]

My favorite customer was the one who's naked vagina I saw. She showed it to me on purpose.

My second favorite one was the pimp that came in and to buy bedroom furniture from me. He had two of his hoes with him. This was all very very obvious. Instead of asking me a question, he would say to one of the girls, "ask the man (insert question here)...". And then she would repeat the question to me. I'm standing right in front of him. Then the girls where on their hands and knees on the mattresses with short shirts on. They were attractive and there were no other customers in the store, so I was fine with it. :) Dude spent a grip. It was very funny.

[punk138]

ppl like these persuaded me to quit autozone fuck retail jobs! never again!

anyways we were closing at autozone one night and im sure this happens to alot of you, those studpid ass people that like to show up a min b4 closing. yea this punk ass shout runs up as im locking the doors. he literally opens forcefully as im locking it. i was like fuck that were closed. he like naw nigga i still got a minute and i show him the time but still he walks in. hes like ima pick up my battery from charging. ok watever. we test his battery and its no good. didnt take a charge cuz its beat to shit and had no electrolytes and its prolly like 10 yrs old. as soon as i tell him its no good he starts bitchin about how we fucked up his battery. i was like dude chill out we didnt do this you brought it in like this. he like my battery worked just fine b4 i brought to you guys. i told him to think about wat he just said. y would you bring it to us if work just fine? *retard* he got so pissed that i made him look stupid he request the manager. i was like go get him yo self he over there. lol i seriously didnt give two flyin shits. fuck him. finally manager comes explains policy and tells him theres nothing we can do. he like fuck that starts getting all ignant and cussing and threatening to kik ass. we close the store at 9pm its already 10:30pm and he refuses to leave. i said fuck this your leaving in cuffs. lmao hes like wtf fuck you white boy. im like i aint white im mexican bitch! called the popo and they took his bitch ass in cuffs. as were all laughing at him! FUCK THAT WAS THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPEND. FUCK "THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"POLICY. THIS TIME I CAME UP AND IT FELT GOOOD!!!

[iHeartTheTouge]

Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes (http://www.notalwaysright.com)

[shishcabobers]

When I worked at carls jr, I gave this order to a guy. He walks away and looks into the bag and stomps back all pissed and saying "Why are there two hashbrowns?! I only ordered one!" So I look at his receipt and tell him that he got an extra one for free. He then stomps out in a hissy fit. I mean cmon who would not mind getting free hashbrowns or fries in their order? :loco:

[majuljo]

im an assistant manager at little caesars pizza and i swear to god that we get the most stupid customers in the world. now its not always there fault because our pizza's are suppose to be hot and ready but when people come in and order 20 large pizzas its impossible to have ready right then and there.

my favorite customer i have had though is this guy who came in with his 6 yr old and bought 2 pizzas so i gave it to him and i started talking to him about sports and having a good conversation. he then remembers to ask for ranch (which cost 64 cents) but we ran out. so i tell him so and he goes into this tantrum because we dont have ranch. i apologize and ask him if i can do anything else but all he wants is some ranch and continues to cus me out in front of his kid. again i ask him "what do you want me to do?" and he then replies "is that all you can say" and i raise my voice but repeat what i said earlier "WHAT....DO.....YOU.....WANT....ME....TO....DO!!!!? ?" he just walked out after that.

i have so many stories but if any of you go to little caesars just call it in and anything you want will be ready when you get there.

[zilvia_brothers]

im pretty sure working in retail...there's always those customers that make u think "WTF?! is this person for real?" lol

[axiomatik]

wow.






I didn't even know little ceasars still existed.

[theicecreamdan]

Fuckin alcoholics... you have to be 21 years old to drink, your KIDS need to be 21 years old to drink. You need to show me an ID. If you don't have one don't drink in my establishment. I will see you and there will be an issue. Don't punch the guy that takes your beer because you gave some to the 18 year old girl you're with. If you need to get 18 year olds drunk before you can see the boobies then you don't deserve beer anyways.

The nasty old bitch that randomly showed me her boob after complaining about not getting free popcorn... yeah take some popcorn and leave PLEASE.

[90hatchie]

im glad i work in a warehouse and dont have to deal with stupid people....
except the stupid supervisor
(truck is packed full)
i had some boxes and overweights that obviously wouldnt go in
bitch came by and was like ur job is to get the box's in the truck
i opened the door and was like well its crammed full
so she got all pissy told me to figure it out
i decided to pack them into the drivers cab and be on my way

hey i did get them IN the truck

[BustedS13]

i used to deliver for Dominos.

i delivered, almost daily, to a guy who was too fat to leave his house. literally. the money was always moist, and he always ordered two mediums and a two liter of diet coke. practically every fucking day. there was never a worse smelling apartment.

but my REAL favorite was the High School Kegger. you always battle it out with the other drivers for the BIG orders. mainly for the big tip. but sometimes, you'll find yourself delivering to a legendary party. and when you do, they'll either tip you very well, or, if they're high school kids, they'll give you a shitty tip and make jokes about tipping you in beer.
it wasn't funny until i started accepting the beer tips. you have no idea how common this lame ass joke really is. one summer i accumulated a sizable box of loose cans in a week or so, the joke was so frequent. nobody expects you to accept the offer, and they're always confused when you walk in and ask where the cooler is. i've taken beer bongs as tips, i've taken as many cans as my pants would hold. i've even taken half an hour off work to just hang out with these dipshits. again, the funny is in the fact that nobody EVER expects you to take them seriously, and then you're sitting on their couch, drinking their keg.

[treken2t87]

i used to deliver for Dominos.

i delivered, almost daily, to a guy who was too fat to leave his house. literally. the money was always moist, and he always ordered two mediums and a two liter of diet coke. practically every fucking day. there was never a worse smelling apartment.

but my REAL favorite was the High School Kegger. you always battle it out with the other drivers for the BIG orders. mainly for the big tip. but sometimes, you'll find yourself delivering to a legendary party. and when you do, they'll either tip you very well, or, if they're high school kids, they'll give you a shitty tip and make jokes about tipping you in beer.
it wasn't funny until i started accepting the beer tips. you have no idea how common this lame ass joke really is. one summer i accumulated a sizable box of loose cans in a week or so, the joke was so frequent. nobody expects you to accept the offer, and they're always confused when you walk in and ask where the cooler is. i've taken beer bongs as tips, i've taken as many cans as my pants would hold. i've even taken half an hour off work to just hang out with these dipshits. again, the funny is in the fact that nobody EVER expects you to take them seriously, and then you're sitting on their couch, drinking their keg.
One new year's @ midnight, I...uh.....saw "somebody" smoke out the pizza delivery driver cause "they" wanted to smoke a blunt at the strike of midnight :hyper:

[VQMaxFan]

I used to work at a parts house in a very well... poor part of town known for the southern characters in the area.

Always loved situations like:

Sales person: "I have this grade/brand, this grade/brand, and this grade/brand in stock."
Southern Gentleman: "I wan' tha cheepn'"

Or when we had the 12million candle power cordless spot light demo in the door way on display. Its just an H4 bulb with the high beam setting! A guy with his wife and 2 kids came in the store. The guy walks straight up to the spot light, turns it on. "damn thats bright!" Then he has a great idea go off in his mind while holding the portable headlight. He smerks and runs over to his wife, sticks the light in her face and says "HUNNY LOOK, IS THAT BRITE!?!?" With a baby in her arms and a toddler at her ankles she yells out "GATDAYUM I CAN FEEL THE HEAT OFF THAT THANG!"

I always loved the people who would just buy 1 spark plug or ask if we sold 1 plug wire.

Getting robbed at gunpoint sucked balls though.

[bbejj123]

i worked at a Ralphs near my house and my favorite customer would have to be this old man. One day this 80+ year old man buys a cart full of grocerys. "hello sir how are you doing today?" i said

he just stares at me smiling

so i then ask him "Is plastic alright sir?"

doesnt hear me. so i ask again. thinks someone else said something then he starts looking around. this happen about 5 times after that. I then raise my voice "IS PLASTIC ALRIGHT SIR?"
he finally looks over and says "uhh... Jeorpardy...uhhh....what?"

then i ask one final time trying sooo hard not to laugh and then finally answers "yes"

such a weird story thinking back on it...it sounds like a fake story haha

[kyoru]

Ohhhh I've had too many customer service jobs.


Valet

When you go to get someone's car from the lot, you run. Of course. I valeted on the oceanfront, and I'd always have idiots hollering "run, Forrest!" at me from their hotel rooms. Wow, you're one clever, brave sonofabitch, yelling the most overused movie quote in history from the safety of your 7th floor private balcony. Anyway, this lady comes out of the hotel I work at, hands me her valet ticket. I find the keys, and take off towards the lot. This dumb bitch has the nerve to yell the same thing at me, while I'm retrieving HER car. "Ruuuuuuun, Forrest!!!!"

I stop dead in my tracks, and turn around and stare at her for a few seconds. Then I turn back around, and walk leisurely to the parking lot. ~5 minutes later I come back with her car, and she must have felt like the world's biggest bitch because I receive profuse thanks and a $10 tip.

I loved the dumb tourist questions too. I'm giving directions, "so you get on I264..." They interrupt, "east or west?" Well, the Atlantic Ocean is right behind us...


Restaurants

The stupidity never ends.

People letting their kids run EVERYWHERE around the restaurant was the absolute worst. I'm carrying a ~50 pound tray of glassware on my shoulder and this kid jumps off the back of his dining chair and falls on the ground right in front of me, I nearly fall over him. Mommy looks, "oh Jimmy, you're so silly," and continues chatting with her friend. BITCH I ALMOST RAN YOUR KID OVER AND DROPPED 30 WATER GLASSES.

Tables that look like someone set off an appetizer grenade. Food everywhere, sugar packets ripped up into 1,000,000 shreds and distributed across the table, every conceivable solid and fluid strewn across the floor.

If you go out to eat and leave tables like this. Fuck you.

Oh my god, the truth. I don't know why parents let their fucking kids run around the restaurant. And why do people want to rip everything to pieces on the table?

[Bobafreak]

god these storys are great. lol

[origin_s135]

i worked at a Ralphs near my house and my favorite customer would have to be this old man. One day this 80+ year old man buys a cart full of grocerys. "hello sir how are you doing today?" i said

he just stares at me smiling

so i then ask him "Is plastic alright sir?"

doesnt hear me. so i ask again. thinks someone else said something then he starts looking around. this happen about 5 times after that. I then raise my voice "IS PLASTIC ALRIGHT SIR?"
he finally looks over and says "uhh... Jeorpardy...uhhh....what?"

then i ask one final time trying sooo hard not to laugh and then finally answers "yes"

such a weird story thinking back on it...it sounds like a fake story haha

i literally LOL'ed.

[spoolandslide]

I work at a fish store (for aquariums and whatnot. Laugh all you want) and I always get this one customer that makes me run for the back room.

The last time she came in, she wanted specific fish. Now generally, that's not an issue, considering you would imagine people want the exact fish they're looking at. But when they're looking at a tank with no less than 400 little fish, no longer than 2 centimeters, there is no way in hell I'm going to grab a specific fish. I generally ask a customer how many they want, and scoop out a net full, then count them out.

Well this bitch wanted specific fish from this tank. When I told her I wasn't going to grab her specific fish, simply because there are other customers in the store that need attention, she made me get the manager. My manager is on the same page as me, and he argued with her. Finally she came back to me and I picked her fish (my way). These fish were $.99 at the time. The next day she came back in with a dead one and asked for a refund. A fucking 99 cent refund. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?!

prescription drugs

[kyoru]

I use to work in a car shop attached to a store that sells batteries. We didn't have a sign above our store but the battery store did. We did however have a huge decal on our store that said we only deal with cars.

We would constantly have people come in, looking around our showcase room (filled with car parts), get confused and leave. However there are a select few that don't understand and require assistance. :mepoke:

[Jordn]

You won't believe how many people walk into our showroom [bearing in mind we have a 3 foot tall Honda badge brightly lit up on a big red wall at the back and Honda stamped like EVERYWHERE] and ask if this is the right place to get their Jag/Vauxhall serviced.

[jskateborders]

I dont work retail, I actually am a sprint finance escelations rep... some of you im sure know what that is, but basically, when you call into the finance department with sprint and ask for a sup, you get me. I had this one lady who was claiming her phone didnt work one time, and the call was an hour long with her making excuses as to why she shouldnt have to pay her bill. I was like "mam, your phone was obviously in use, you used 5500 minutes during the month you claimed the phone was broke". Shit I dont even use that many in 6 months. Then there is always the customers who demand to have their service back on or they will cancel. Its like, you havent payed your bill in over 4 months, at this point, we are going to cancel you...

[niSm095]

I work at a tool store...in the warehouse. When I'm out on the sales floor stocking things or moving freight...I get (at least 3 times a day) the..."do you work here" customer. Mind you I'm wearing black pants and a bright yellow and black shirt with the company name and logo on both sides. Those are my favorite customers. And by favorite I mean the ones I want to kill the most.

[Dirty Habit]

Busted: around here its normal to give your food guy beer or drugs when he delivers to a party or a group of more than 5.

99% of the time we invite said pizza dude back or just send him on his way with some beers. If said pizza dude rejects the offer of beer or dope, a monetary tip will then be brought forth.

Its just how it is around here. Stop anyone under 30 on the street, they know this shit.lol.

[driftphenom]

i used to work at the airport, as a ramp worker. (handle bags, marshall palnes, de-ice, etc), at the end of the jet bridge , its our job to tag valet bags. (bags too big for carry on, or if theres no more room overhead.). you can almost see it coming. some mid 40's lady yapping on her cel phone not paying any attention. im hustling around trying to stay on time. trying to get this lady's attention. she finally hears me out and then all snobby shes like "eeeh, this is carry on" im like "mam, that bag is too big, you have to valet it, it will be waiting for you right when you get off the plane" shes like " i dont want to chack my bag", " its not a checked bag mam, its a valet. you dont have to pick it up at the baggage claim. IT WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU GET OFF THE PLANE" then shes all like whatever and just walks on the plane anyway. im thinkin to myself "see ya in 5 minutes bitch" sure enough here comes the lady back peddling off the plane all up in everyones way. i just give a shit eating grin as she walks toward me. we dont say anything to eachother, but she knows she looks like an idiot. and of course, since she was such a dumb bitch, when i put her bag in the plane, i gave it a little extra abuse. haha.

but then in a momentary lapse of thought, i did the same thing flying out of LGA. but the guy that took my bag had the audacity to tell me my bag was going on the first class shelf. i guess he didnt know i worked at the airport, and i know theres no first calss shelf. fuckin cocksucker.

but on a slight tangent, that reminds me of what we used to do to the new guys. at night when we cleaned the planes we would send them out on assinine (sp?) tasks. tell them to go to delta and get 5 gallons of prop wash, (doesnt exsist), or 50 feet of flight line, (also doesnt exsist), and all the other carriers were in on the joke, so they would just send them around to other carriers cause they "didnt have any". and occasionally we would get new guys come in and ask us for stupid shit too. good times

[S13SilviaGirl]

he like naw nigga i still got a minute and i show him the time but still he walks in.


The use of the N-word IS NOT ALLOWED here in any way shape or form. Banned for one month.

[kingkilburn]

I hope you didn't really ban that guy. He was using the word in a direct quote from some one else. He didn't call any one any thing offensive and this is coming from a black guy. All you had to do was edit it out of his post and let him know.

[Dirty Habit]

THIS IS ZILVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I saw that ban coming from a mile away. Ya figure what the fuck, guys already kicked out the marketplace.

Off with his head!!!

[kingkilburn]

I can't really speak to the guy's worth to the community but in this instance I don't know if it was necessary.

[brewster240]

I hope you didn't really ban that guy. He was using the word in a direct quote from some one else. He didn't call any one any thing offensive and this is coming from a black guy. All you had to do was edit it out of his post and let him know.


seriously.

[victorw210]

i deliver pizza i had some lady try to give me her fucking cat as a tip

[Future240]

I hope you didn't really ban that guy. He was using the word in a direct quote from some one else. He didn't call any one any thing offensive and this is coming from a black guy. All you had to do was edit it out of his post and let him know.

True, but if she let that go, it would send a message that its okay to use as long as if you dont call it to someone.

Some people would be against him usin the word even in that way.

If he felt so compeeld to use it, he should have used astericks

i deliver pizza i had some lady try to give me her fucking cat as a tip

Seriously? hahaha

[kingkilburn]

The thing is this, he didn't say it. He quoted some one else using the word. It shows the ignorance of the man quoted more than any racism on punk138's part.

I guess it doesn't mater but I would like to hear what Lisa was thinking when she decided to ban him because I fully agree with the spirit of the rule but in this instance, I don't think the wording of the rule is very sensitive as far as what is really offensive.

[Future240]

^ I think she is just following the rules. Rules say you cant use it no matter what tense, or how it is used.

I'm black and I know if i used it she would ban me too, so i dont. In the rules there can be no exceptions, that is the only way it can be fair to everyone. In other words, no double standards here.

[worangejuice]

I have way too many stories, I worked retail for a looong time. I think Blockbuster may have been the worst for me. In Hollywood. Everyone's a royal douchebag. I had like 4 cool customers I actually liked there. Actually a GOOD story is this kid, about 12 yrs. old, would always hang out and talk video games with me. He hung out there so much like on Friday and Saturday nights, I gave him a blockbuster shirt and a name badge. He'd stack movies and run 'em and he even rang up his sister. And those were busy nights. People would always give us crooked looks. I'd tell him to tell them he's 36 or my little brother, or my kid. He turned to me after some customers left and said " I think they were drunk" haha. Not like he'd really be working hard, just whatever he felt like. Of course he'd get movies and candy,drinks whatever for free. Cool kid, good times.

[flip3d]

The thing is this, he didn't say it. He quoted some one else using the word. It shows the ignorance of the man quoted more than any racism on punk138's part.

I guess it doesn't mater but I would like to hear what Lisa was thinking when she decided to ban him because I fully agree with the spirit of the rule but in this instance, I don't think the wording of the rule is very sensitive as far as what is really offensive.

No need to explain the usage to anyone. We all know...


:lfault:

[kawika219]

i work at home depot. nuff said lol.

yesterday this fricken wierd ass lady asked for help. when i approached her she ask what was wrong with my leg. i told her i was fine and have a really mild case of cerebral palsy. then she told me to take benedryl (sp?) and it'll go away. wtf...

[sirfallsalot243]

The use of the N-word IS NOT ALLOWED here in any way shape or form. Banned for one month.

Overkill, whats that?:tweak:

[FRpilot]

i deliver pizza i had some lady try to give me her fucking cat as a tip

which one? i think i've seen that movie.

[murda-c]

So i typed this long ass story about a guy coming into my house thinking it was a store, and then i hit the back button on this retarded gaming mouse my friend uses, and i ended up losing all of it.

why the fuck do you need to have a back button mapped on your mouse when you have mouse gestures in firefox?

shit.

[240drifter1]

Oh my god, Teddy, thats freaking hilarious.

[BustedS13]

Busted: around here its normal to give your food guy beer or drugs when he delivers to a party or a group of more than 5.

99% of the time we invite said pizza dude back or just send him on his way with some beers. If said pizza dude rejects the offer of beer or dope, a monetary tip will then be brought forth.

Its just how it is around here. Stop anyone under 30 on the street, they know this shit.lol.

it was good times. one time somebody gave me a 25" tv as a tip.

[turbobrick]

I work at a car dealership, and whenever a customers car is done, it gets sent through the car wash. Its just a free wash we give all our customers, if they want it deatailed they have to pay. But at least once a day, I hear
"omg, did you guys wash my car?"
"yes we did"
"well you didnt do a very good job"
you're welcome bitch

[drftkng951]

i work at a dealership and i always love to hear when people come in (mostly women) and complain about their car idling to weird....they either say "isn't my car supposed to idle at 0 RPM?" or "i think my car is idling a little low because when i start it in the morning it goes all the way up and after a little while it goes just bellow the 1000 RPM..."
:duh:

usually they are stubborn and want someone to look at it and pay after finding out some thing isn't wrong with her car.

[Aoshi112]

Gotta bump this for my story:

Customer of The Day:

This will be a bit lengthy but the story needs a little background information.

My parents own a fast food Chinese restaurant and I volunteered to help run the place with them. I work the cash register so I get to meet all the customers that walk in and place their orders, and a lot of dumb ones at that. However, tonight I was totally caught off guard by the stupidity of this one customer, and of course it had to be the last customer of the day.

It was 9pm and we were closing the restaurant when this lady, I’d say young to mid 20’s walks in and is looking for something quick. She asks me a few questions about our dishes as she’s looking at our menu. She quickly turns around to the pictures we have mounted on the wall behind her. She spots a dish labeled “Garlic Chicken”. This is the convo:

Woman, “So, what’s in the Garlic Chicken?”
Me, “Garlic chicken has onions, green bell peppers, and mushrooms”
Woman, “Sooooo…. There’s no chicken in it?”
Me, “………………..”

I really wanted to say NO there is absolutely no chicken in the garlic chicken but of course I was helpful and finally after a 10 second pause, I said, “yes, there is chicken in the GARLIC CHICKEN”

All she said was, “oh ok, I’ll take it”

Ladies and gentlemen, the customer of the day!

Just thought I'd share!

[skylindrftr]

When I used to work at the jc penney's jewlery section in the arcadia mall we would get these cheap chinese old ladies that would come in and talk shit. I am part chinese but dont speak a word, but one of my coworkers did and would translate to me. Always funny to catch those little old ladies off gaurd and tell them what they just said in plain english hehe

[ayuaddict]

I work as a valet and bellman for a large high class hotel.

Being the nice guy that i am, i usually let people park on the drive in front of the valet stand right in front of the lobby while they check in/load/unload luggage/etc. I let them know there is a 15 min. grace period and that i will have to hold on to their keys while they leave their car unattended. i don't trip if they take 30 or even 45 min, its pretty slow this time of year anyways.

Couple guys pull up each driving an SUV, they were obviously together which boggles my mind as neither car had less than 5 seats. anyways, the first guy was cool, gave his keys to my coworker and headed inside to check in. i go up to the other guy,

"good afternoon sir, welcome to the _____ _____ ________ how are you doing"
"hmm"
"checking in, sir?"
"ya"
"well you can go ahead and leave your car up here for up to 15 min"
"hmm"
"i just need to hold on to your keys while you leave your vehicle unattended sir"
"no"
"sir its policy for safety reasons"
"no"

other guy looks back and says

"just give him your keys"

the fool throws his keys at me. im not going to even try to catch them.

"sir! you dropped your keys!"

looks at me all stupid.

"sir, ill just hang onto them until youre done checking in"

as SOON as they were inside for 15 min i went ahead and charged them $6 each to valet their vehicles.



We have a lot of conferences and conventions for some of the largest software, medical and otherwise technologically advanced fields. Its staggering how many people can design a new fucking airplane or cure some crazy disease but cannot figure out how to press the big green button on the self parking lot gates to get a ticket.

we get cool people in as well, Some guy had me photocopy a 240 page handbook, which was cool cuz i just unbound it and threw in in the copier out back, tipped me $30.

but yea, this line of work is really cool meeting lots of interesting people, but sometimes it really makes me lose hope for humanity as a whole.

oh.

by the way.

Steve Jobs tipped $1
Sylvester Stallone tipped nothing.
Jerry Rice tipped $50
random nice old people tip $20 all the time.

[SHIFT_*grind*]

Steve Jobs tipped $1
Sylvester Stallone tipped nothing.

LOL

Working in restaurants, I can tell you that Sean Paul is pretty short in real life, and a cheap ass ($20 on a ~$200 tab). Ludacris isn't that tall either, but his bodyguard is fucking HUGE.

At the hotel I valeted at on the oceanfront, we had 3 lots. There was the lot right in front of the hotel, and 2 lots across the street where we parked cars when that filled up. There were 2 or 3 spots directly up front that were basically off limits (i.e. we controlled them, your car couldn't be there unless we parked it for you and kept the keys). This guy drives up in his brand new yellow Z06 (this is in '02 when they were hot shit), demanding to be able to park his car there. "OK, but we'll need to park it for you and keep the keys." "NO!!!! YOU'RE NOT PARKING MY CAR." Guy was SO paranoid about us driving his car 30 feet into a parking spot and hanging onto the keys, but he HAD to be able to park there. He was a real dick about it, too.

[MudRacer]

I used to work as a temp at this company in orange that gave out freecreditreports to people for the first 30 days. After that, they would charge the yearly fee of 80 or 90 dollars.

People shopping online at the time (2000) were geniuses. They would give out their SS info, put their credit card info and forget the fact they are allowing to be charged at the end of the month. My job was to handle incoming calls, I went through about 200 a day.

The best ones were the ones where people called to cancel.

'I see here on my statement you guys charged me $$, Why are u charging me, I only wanted a free report'
'Ma'am this was a free report for 30 days after that we charge you for the year, it states that on the form you filled out while applying for it'
'I dont want this service. Please cancel it'
'Ok no problem, We can cancel it for you. Are you John Smith?'
'No that is my husband.'
'Im sorry, your husband would have to call and that is the only way we can cancel if the owner of the credit report calls'
'Well he cant call because we are getting divorced and bla bla bla..'
'Im sorry the only way i can cancel is if he calls in. This is our policy.'
This is where they get super angry and start cussing and go out of control.

I received tons of other calls where people would have no idea they would get charged and call us scammers. Im glad i left that job.