wild streak

I have a fully built s13 redtop sr with rocker arm stoppers brian crower springs retainers and kelford cams and AEM enigine management Series 1. I have learned that hard limiters are very bad for SR's from experience, Hard limiters just seem to be terrible on the rockers I have shattered a pair of rockers two different times and each time it was only slightly on the limiter. and Just today my AEM tuner guy was setting up the 2 step I asked for a soft cut but some how he was hitting a hard cut because it sound like a 12 gauge shotgun was going off beside my ear well after him hitting it twice my car started misfiring and I had to pull the valve cover found the flat shim popped out of place from under the rocker.

So my questions are how can I setup my two step on a soft cut so there is no loud back firing or anything and it still builds boost? I have searched for this and cant find anyone setting it up on there AEM series 1

Also I have read a couple of topics but haven't got a for sure answer How do I get my sr to quit shattering rocker arms? Whats all these drag SR's mods for their valve train?

to give you an idea of how fast it shattered two rockers on cylinder #2 here is a video of my car doing it Built Sr20det breaking two rocker arms - YouTube