Jeff240sx

[cartman voice] Oh my god guys. You gotta check this out[/cartman]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0504/oralsex.html

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Jeff

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Whatup?

WilloW

Holy shit! Ahahahah, "Demon Breeding Grounds" .

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240meowth

I don't know... that website dosn't look like any religious organization to me. I mean, just look at the ads and banners. people these days... they think of the craziest things

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driftMAO

I hate stuff like this that misrepresents God and the Bible....

RedlineRacer

That is so not a baptist church, I really doubt it is really a christian church.

TurK

coool the muslim ppl have nothing to do w/ this =)

Phlip

This shit CAN'T be serious...

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MakotoS13

what like catholicism?

brianglawson

i know some people have their beleifs, but you cannot give me an explanation of something, and use the bible with it, stupid creation scientists, trying to thrust the religion upon more people

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S15 SR20DET Powered, Kouki S14 http://zilvia.net/f/showthread.php?t=578575

Phlip

Well, fundamentally I kinda see what the thing is saying, but the union of "marriage" is morally to result in the connection of a man and woman, ending in procreation... That would make oral sex "wrong," which makes me a sinner for enjoying good head so much. Now lets talk about all the little colloquials, slang and funny talk in that web page, like the mention of black men having larger penises, heightening the amount of sin committed in the act of oral sex. Let's look at the fact that the word "freaky" is used no less than 3 times and the fact that it says that sodomy is okay between a married couple. But oral sex isn't? I call bullshit. It's a joke, take it as such

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Steeles

the whole page is a joke. hell go look through the store. all thought the menstra thongs are hilarious.

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Johny5

seeing as how catholicism was THE first religion and still exists in greater numbers today. so how does that play in your books martin luther jr.?

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Phlip

So you're saying that caltholicism existed before the new testament?

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Johny5

i'd like to not look at the new testament as a religion, moreso as a law laid down. but then we can go back to the opinions are like assholes thing.

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Phlip

Then let's go to the "opinions are like assholes" thing then... Your statement was not one of opinion, but one of purported fact, which unfortunately is wrong. I will not say what people should and should not do with their lives, and who they chose to worship, even if their choise is not to do so. But to say that catholicism is the oldest religion is just plain ignorant. People existed before catholicism, many believed in more than one god. This includes the romans, who had many deities before catholicism existed. Before them, people worshipped the sun, the earth, hell even just energy. Hate to burst your bubble, but catholicism, in the chronological scheme of things cannot be the oldest religion. No one said that the new testament was "A" religion, but what christian (orthodox or otherwise) church doesn't include it as a part of it's dogmatic procedure?

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Phlip

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mk20116

"accept christ and get a play station 2" ???

Ghettokracker71

LMAO! Great terms...



Did you see the ad for the "fornicator" shirt and the "what would jesus do" thong ?

MakotoS13

man, i just love seein phlip go off on somebody. it's just art, dude. and here i'll bite my tongue before i go off on all i hate about catholicism.

aa87

Dont get your balls up in a knot, its only a satire site.

TheSnail

I dont see how anyone could belive in god. Thats just being silly. I mean I think I have a hell of an imajination but I dont think there is invisible people/ gost's flying above me. And there is nothing more pathetic then god belivers making fun of a kid that is 9 years old that still belives there is a Santa. I would much easyer be convinced that there is a fat ass flying around on a sled that lives in the north pole, rather then then some imaginary gost that created everything, lol, give me a break. The only thing I will use god and jesus for is, in curse words, other then that, psshh. riiiight.... and I will not capitalize god since it is not a noun.

sykikchimp

Isn't it great to have free will?

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RedlineRacer

Yeah, that is ridiculous. And the Bible verse that they use (Leviticus 18:27 or whatever it was) to back it up has nothing to do with a womans period. It is talking about leperosy.

MakotoS13

some people see it as more logical to believe that there are some things we do not understand.

i guess they should talk to you so that your "imajination" could show them how truly wrong they are. you clearly know everything.

blind men see pearls of wisdom as mere marbles - DJ

Steeles

the funny thing is my coworker pulled up a site with bible verses and you can read that whole chapter in leviticus and its never really clear what the hell they are talking about. blood in her flesh is about as close as they come. but all the others under the disturbing bible verses where dead on and weird.

the funniest thing about this is that the day before phlip posted this my dad was telling me I need to read the book "the Davinci code" he sadi he couldnt put it down but the looks at religion in there made him think of me. so now I have another book to go read

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Phlip

*takes a bow* "THANKK YOU MOTHER*BLEEP*

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TheSnail

Exuse me for me too harsh, it was 3am an I was a grumpy bastard. No one should force there belifes on to others , it goes nowhere.

Burmonster

"(enormous penises have bigger holes, allowing for a greater number of demons to gain entrance, which is why black men commit so much crime)"

holy shit....amazing

"*According to Landover Baptist Church records (1646 - Present Time) we were forced by the Lord Jesus to let over 1,400 Christian husbands get off Scott-Free after murdering their wives in bed. Although this might be a troubling statistic for some of us, it is really none of our business. The Good Lord writes the rules and it is our obligation not to question one jot or twiddle of His word, it is simply our duty to follow it. We are to remain obedient to God's Holy Word at all costs, and despite the pull of our carnal conscience, always remain content to have your True Christian™ hands tied by the sacred glory of God's commandments. Unless a breakthrough in Creation Science suggests otherwise."

bwahahahahahahahahah

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Fat girls are like scooters...they are fun until your friends see you riding one.

"Did you ever think that it could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others?"

A -> B

RedlineRacer

I don't know where that chruch gets off thinking that people can do whatever they want to on this earth and not be punished by humans, but only by God. I know God will judge those who do wrong, but he also told the jews to smite their enemies and those who are wicked. This sounds more like a cult than any form of Christianity.

MakotoS13

not realizing there are consequences and not caring about them in contrast to what one deams necessary are two different things.

ex:

when i speed without realizing it i'm ignorant BUT when i get ticketed for it, pissed off, then speed, it's complete defiance.