Post of the year.

[OBEEWON]

I see you didn't take my last advice to heart. It was really all you needed to know, so I insist you read it again this time for your benefit OP. So splendid to be tuning this fine machine in a tasteful way. You want it, you need it. You can feel it at the base of your crotch. When I was your age, modding cars meant something, and I really wanted to join the Air Force and shoot missiles into corners. Something that you should know is that the coilovers you install will probably make the biggest difference on your car. It's like moose style, man! Try to find some Stance Coilovers. I like them, man, and they'll do you no harm! Or if you have to be as cheap as possible, Ebay is only a click away. But one day seriously man, I'm going to send my F-14 Tomcat into Ebay's glory holes and destroy that balloon man. Okay, and for exterior, be honest with yourself man. All you need to do is lower the car tastefully and get wheels that fit. Those things alone can make or break a car. I've seen it in person while reverse bicycling the country side with my second cousin's friend's second cousin. I think one thing you may notice is that your car is not so great at times. Be hospitable though, your car will make you a real friend of itself. If you're going to get wheels, make sure they come from a high-quality manufacturing country like China. Japan, not so great because of the earthquake. Think of all the factories that have cracks in them, and you see the wheels have cracks in them too. But in China, the earth only quakes the anus and that's it man! The wheels are ok! And you can trade them for pocket change or food stamps. By then, when your car is complete, you have the benefit of marveling at the greatest abomination ever created. And by then, you'll be god. Your servants will drive Mazda MX-3s and they'll crash into each other for your amusement. All because you have... XXR poo poo fresh wheels of glory. Now, I'm not saying that you should do everything I say but I'll tell you one thing. You buy the right parts man, you'll get respect. But you buy the wrong stuff man and it's the insult of all ages from toddler to 14 years old. One time I got into a great scuffle over my car which definitely is not even as grand as yours. The guy was a gigantic Asian shirthead and really could throw a fast kick. I got hurt man, but not as hurt as his feelings because I tell him all about how the women here don't like guys with small facial features. Looks like a stone head, man! haha So, my mom found out eventually, how can you hide some small cuts on the body of course your flesh and blood will realize it. She got scared and said I had to move out of here in fear that the big Asian might come and look for me for couples counseling. I had to move in with my uncle and auntie in bel air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and had some dice in the mirror. If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought nah forget it. Yo homes, to bel air! I pulled up to a house at about seven or either and I yelled to the cabby, yo homes smell ya later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel air. And so by that time I realized that the best thing I could have done for my car was to just leave it alone. And I realize that if I bought the best shit already, I wouldn't have to keep changing parts every week, and my pants wouldn't be so brown.



I take my hat off to you sir. I farted while laughing.

http://www.marcgrant.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/slow-clap-my-friend-slow-clap.gif

[misterbrownpants]

Take your pants off to me. And they better be brown (your pants)

[Nakioki]

OP is my hero

http://i.imgur.com/JReuG.gif

[ILoveMyRHS13]

I laughed as well.

[Martino]

By far the most entertaining piece of material I've ever read while sitting in class.

EDIT: I know I'm not the only one who mind-read it in a theatrical voice, right?

[bigs]

italicizing a whole paragraph hurts my eyes.

[OBEEWON]

Take your pants off to me. And they better be brown (your pants)

They are now!

[revcyanide]

what is this i dont even....

[bigs]

what is this i dont even....

I think it's a Will Smith memoir.

[xpertsnowcarver]

So jealous of his second cousin's friend's second cousin... I wanna reverse bike the country side with mrbrownpanties. <3

[OBEEWON]

EDIT: I know I'm not the only one who mind-read it in a theatrical voice, right?

LOL so did I!

I also pictured him with a monocle...

Original thread:
http://zilvia.net/f/chat/409496-s14-sr20-advice.html

[Martino]

LOL so did I!

I also pictured him with a monocle...

Original thread:
http://zilvia.net/f/chat/409496-s14-sr20-advice.html

Oh man...that was my exact though. I also pictured him sitting in a brown leather chair wearing a black suite with his legs crossed.

[coupster]

F in talent man, F in talent! He must wear under wears with dick holes in them,LOL.

[nismo 240sx]

i saw earlier and i almost sharted lol

[revcyanide]

HOLY SHIT I just read the whole thing. THIS WAS AMAZING,

http://files.sharenator.com/internet_fist_bump_Internet_Fist_Bump-s744x567-67783-580.png

[iamtheyi]

Best piece of literature I've read on Zilvia my entire membership. :D +1

edit: have to mention I was laughing my ass off hahaha

[OBEEWON]

Brown Pants please write a book.

[bradyd15]

I just shat spam and cornflakes after reading this...:rawk:

[driftsilvias13]

Before I realized what I just read, the fresh prince part KILLED IT! TOO GOOD. Its like those spam emails explaining a story of why you need to wire money to someone in Nigeria.

[simmode1]

http://troll.me/images/idiot-gaston/wtf-is-this-shit.jpg

[lflkajfj12123]

But in China, the earth only quakes the anus and that's it man!

:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow::bow:

[thefro526]

I have no idea what just happened.

But everyone is looking at me funny for laughing.

[tqstarburst]

somone get that guy in here, lmfao.

[TheRealSy90]

That was win.

[Daniel.]

I didn't laugh. But I can see why people would.

[namawon]

That man gives me hope for zilvia.

Bravo sir.

[DenkiMan!]

i was thoroughly entertained

[tricky_ab]

Well then...I look like an ass at my work since I'm laughing my ass off, and it's super quiet in my section.

[SochBAT]

I read the first three lines and stopped. I can't stand that shit.

You guys are fucking retarded.

[revcyanide]

I read the first three lines and stopped. I can't stand that shit.

You guys are fucking retarded.
read the rest and you will understand.

[aziankingz]

its just writings of some immature kid with ADHD.. basically random thoughts mashed into one long paragraph..

[revcyanide]

holy shit, ya both don't get it at all.


How's being miserable all the time working out for you?

[misterbrownpants]

Good afternoon my fellow colleagues, I do apologize for my absence. I was busy laying the brown brick road in the porcelain lake, understand? I did not realize the friends calling my name I am sorry! I turned 180 degrees to lay bricks, and then I turned another 180 degrees to see the screen and I'm surprised. Not really men, I know how great this is! haha understand? Tears of joy erupt from all of my places by my friends praises, and I know that at this moment Zilvia is the best cardboard home for me. No HMO plan but free HOMO from other men, right? haha understand the letter pun ok? I added the O like a sneaky animal that lays farts in the tree-home of his friends, ok? Then his friend comes home and all the acorns smell like old chicken nuggests, get it? But it's just a prank they can feel the friendship deep in the crotch. One day, I'll take you all on the reverse bicycle ride to the other country side with me and my second cousin's friend's second cousin, I trust you won't be disappointed but your fingers may be tired from activity (I'll fill you in later understand?). The mods cannot delete the road trip through the country because it's real life, man! None of that moose style knuckle car shit, this is real transportation! How can you delete something real, ok? Until then, don't forget to keep your pants brown.

Oh man, the giant king Asian found me in this thread. I swear, I only used the good parts please! Let you keep your stone face to yourself, I only try to speak truth. Maybe with facial exercise, your features will not be so small. I have to flee to the third country side now my friends. Good day!

[delado]

Got a link to where this was posted in?

[SochBAT]

How's being a competent, educated motherfucker all the time working out for you?

Its going actually quite swell. I can articulate words in a manner that makes perfect sense. And believe it or not, reading it may actually increase your intelligence quota instead of dropping it a few dozen points like reading things like this. You should try it sometime.

[andmattsayd]

I read the first three lines and stopped. I can't stand that shit.

You guys are fucking retarded.

:wan::wan::wan::wan:

[vas570sx]

read the whole thing, i didnt laugh once. Nor did i find it amusing in any way.

[murda-c]

Its going actually quite swell. I can articulate words in a manner that makes perfect sense. And believe it or not, reading it may actually increase your intelligence quota instead of dropping it a few dozen points like reading things like this. You should try it sometime.

What the hell is an intelligence quota?

[bigs]

I read the first three lines and stopped. I can't stand that shit.

You guys are fucking retarded.

Agreed.

I'll admit the fresh prince part made me laugh, probably because I didn't get what the fuck I was reading about.

[raz0rbladez909]

At first I thought it was kinda funny, but then I see the same rant under every thread the guy enters and then it just becomes annoying, you know that thing about telling the same joke over and over again and how it just kills the joke? That's exactly where it's headed.:picardfp:

[SochBAT]

Right on.

I really wish there was a way to hide posts from certain users.

[raz0rbladez909]

Right on.

I really wish there was a way to hide posts from certain users.

I think that may be a worthwhile addition to the forum lol

[revcyanide]

Its going actually quite swell. I can articulate words in a manner that makes perfect sense. And believe it or not, reading it may actually increase your intelligence quota instead of dropping it a few dozen points like reading things like this. You should try it sometime.
Haha further proves my point.


A sentance should never start with and btw, since you are being all high horse about shit.

It is It's, not its.

Going actually is a fragment, it should be actually going.

What the fuck is an intelligence qouta, do mean intelligence qoutient? IQ as it's more commonly called.


OH SHIT THIS JUST HAPPENED?!

I MINORED IN ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER.

[SochBAT]

For minoring in English, your spelling sucks dick.

[DS562]

didnt make me laugh. though, it made sense in an eery way :ugh:

[xpertsnowcarver]

Soooshi, like everyone else, is simply posting that he/she likes or hates what they just read. Just move on.... If people are posting that they like it, what is wrong with people posting that they don't like it? All is fair.... Okay, Soooshi thinks everyone that likes this is retarded. Aww... I liked it.. Fuck... I'm retarded now... Oh well....

Quit taking it personal. It's all in good fun (even if it's at the expense of someone YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW).

Wayne, LMAO.

There is a way to block users on this forum.

And yes... The same joke isn't always funnier after the first time.

[lflkajfj12123]

soooshi take the dick out your butt

your sense of humor is moderate at best maybe slightly more developed than a pre-teen girl

no point in attacking people who like dry humor

your education obviously hasnt advanced you much further in life as you're still posting on a forum based on a car owned mostly by peasants

[revcyanide]

For minoring in English, your spelling sucks dick.
HAHHAHA
it's a fucking internet forum, no shit i don't care about spelling at all.

Just hitting you with your "intelligence quota" bullshit trying to sound all smart and dickish.


xpertsnowcarver
you think i take ANYTHING on here personal? no.


S0ap keep on keepin on.

[deolio]

i just like his innovative bicycle riding abilities

[Ramonesfreak2010]

Too bad he is banned now. :'(

[tacotacotaco]

i like tacos

[ThatGuy]

"Hey Bro, check it out. I'm gonna make a secondary account on Zilvia and spew bullshit responses in stupid threads. Bro, it's gonna be epic. Other Bro's are gonna quote me and shit. I'm gonna be awesome!"

"Wait a minute, bro. How did my new account get banned? Bro, why am I Pinked for making a new name? I made epic lulz, bro! This shouldn't happen to me!"


This has been another episode of "Bro-sterpiece Theater". Join us next time for "Internet Jokes are more awesome than Affliction shorts".

Good night - :lockd: