How do you deal with this situation?

[Dutchmalmiss]

I'm posting here to ask for advice and/or see how you guys that may have gone through the same or similar situation dealt with things.

My grandma (mom's mother) passed away about 2 months ago from cardiac arrest, and we were pretty close growing up since she was the one that helped raise me while my parents were working. She was in her late 80s and passed away in the Philippines. I never got to go to her funeral to say goodbye. Up until today I don't think I completely got over that. Then last wednesday, my own father passed away very unexpectedly at age 51 from a stroke. I'm pretty sure I'm traumatized from not only being the one to discover my father in his room, but that was also the first time I saw a dead body in person. I think at this point I'm a little numb of one too many tragedies occurring too close together where I don't know what to feel right now. I'm getting a lot of love and support from friends and family but I'm not sure they can say anything for me to know that they understand how I feel. Also the memorial service is this weekend and I've got so much going on in my head that I don't know what to come up with for the eulogy for my father. So maybe I can get some help from you guys if any of you have done eulogies before. I honestly don't know what to do or think right now. I've been on this forum for quite a while to know that the right people will respond to this thread. I also apologize for those who mean well but think this initial post is way too long to read, but I appreciate any time spent on trying to help me out. Thanks to all of you fellow zilvians in advance.

[MattRose]

I couldn't imagine being in your situation, so I'll leave you with my sincerest condolences.

[I Drive Naked]

Thats a really rough spot to be in.

7 months ago, I lost my father. I was in the room with him when he went, even though it was peaceful, it still leaves a lasting impression in your mind.

Don't not talk about it. If you have someone to confide in, do it. It will eat at you on the inside for longer than you want it to.

Stay positive, and listen to everyone that says that they're there for you.

[drift freaq]

Oh damn, dude. I am sorry to hear this. If you need someone to talk about this shit send me p.m. if you still don't have my cell.

Your post was not to long either, no need to apologize for it.

This is a big deal, I don't blame you, having lost my mother to cancer, lost my favorite uncle (who was like a second cool father) I definitely come from the experience side.

Anyways, I could write what I think would be good things to think about to write a eulogy, or we could discuss it in person over lunch or coffee. I am here man, get a hold of me.

[exitspeed]

Sorry you are going through this right now. It's very tough. I can relate to it well unfortunately.

Last year my mom died unexpectedly. Then earlier this year my grandfather died who i lived with for part of my life. Less then a month ago I lost my best friend in a motorcycle accident. The last two 18 months has not been easy to deal with. The only thing that has kept me sane is my 15 month old son and trying to stay extremely busy.

So again, I'm very sorry buddy.

I've never given a eulogy. But I wrote one for my friend and gave it to his wife. I didn't want to ramble on and on about specific stories because so many people have tons and tons of stories and you'll have a lot of time to share those with each other. Try to talk more about what he meant to you, how they made he feel or maybe some things he did in his life that have effected you in very specific ways.

But that's just a suggestion. As long as it comes from the heart it's the right words.

[LimeLite Racing]

This is terrible, man. My condolences to you and your family. As for a eulogy, along with the other suggestions I would suggest talking about the impact that he had on your life and the lives of others, and how important he was to you and so many others, but like exitspeed said as long as it comes from the heart it will have been great enough for him. Take care.

[keistyle]

Working at the hospital i have some experience with death. It's crushing seeing families crying for their lost loved ones.
Keeping from killing my self i have a new view of losing someone.
1. EVERYONE DIES.
Death is as natural as birth. Everyone must die. Someday you will die. Coming to terms with something of that gravity certainly isn't the most clear of things to grasp, but accepting it will help.
2. Don't mourn death, but celebrate life.
It's hard to wake up everymorning waiting for someone to come in, or for a person to chime into your life when their gone, you feel....incomplete. It's rough and will take some getting used to. Try to think of the positive influences those people had on your life. I know thinking of the happy moments will bring tears occasionally, but at least you had someone that meaningful in your life to begin with. Think of funny stories you have with your dad, laughter is the strongest combatative.

[RiversideS13]

I am sorry to hear this. I think religion might help you.... please think they had gone to a better place and they are always watching over your family.

[iamtheyi]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through right now... I've written a eulogy for my grandfather and my dad actually gave me some good advice. He said keep it short and simple. Speak on the most lasting impression he had on my life and some of the things that he has done that are the most memorable. but no hour long stories. keep it simple.