ALTRNTV
03-08-2009, 09:30 PM
F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories. (http://www.fmylife.com)
"Today, my brother had his fiance over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML"
"Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to [expletive] quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML"
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
"Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML"
"Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML"
"Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML"
"Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML"
"Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML"
"Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML"
"Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"
"Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML"
"Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some random new scratches on the front. I proceeded to kick and rub it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML"
There's a shitload more on that site. I don't know how true they are, but they're hilarious.
"Today, my brother had his fiance over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML"
"Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to [expletive] quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML"
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
"Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML"
"Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML"
"Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML"
"Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML"
"Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML"
"Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML"
"Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"
"Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. he told me he wanted to do it doggie style. I said okay, and as soon as i bent over on the bed, looked at me and said "let's do this with the lights off". FML"
"Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some random new scratches on the front. I proceeded to kick and rub it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML"
There's a shitload more on that site. I don't know how true they are, but they're hilarious.