Tired of people..

[just1pepsi]

Seems like I'm surrounded with "friends" who are only around when they need something from me. I'm the type of person that would go out of my way to help someone out, and I guess thats easy for people to take advantage of. At first I thought maybe I wasnt making enough of an "effort" but I've found I'm on the only one making any effort at all. This applies to everyone in my life right now, so this was somewhat of a startling revelation for me.

Makes me wonder whats up with that.

[TurboNetic05]

i am the same way... i used to get taken advantage of at work because I would do anything someone asked me to do. I just started telling people to do stuff themselves and I said no every once in a while.

So they realized that they couldnt take advantage of me anymore and everything is much better. haha

[IIIXziuR]

Is your user name a reference to Suicidal Tendencies "Institutionalized"?
If so thumbs up

[just1pepsi]

it is indeed, thank you.

[kyoru]

I was like this too, but I said screw it and stopped being nice. Less stress on me and people stop wasting my time.

[enkei2k]

im actually in the process of doing that at work myself at the moment. i used to always jump first at doing stuff whatever anybody asked. now i'm just like, screw it. i get paid the least and do the most work. personal life is different tho, my friends are always there for me and vice versa..unless it's finals time then that's a different story lol.

[just1pepsi]

Well, i've expected this behavior from "work friends". I was reflecting on stuff last night, and it occurred to me that my non-work friends are the same way. Kinda makes me think, like -- Am I a jerk or a flake or something?

[SW20Racer]

you're not a jerk or a flake. you're too fuckin nice.

work friends: when they try to pass their work off on you, tell em, "ill get it when im done with this" then never do it. they'll get busted for not doing their work. and when they try to pass the blame saying you said you would do it, act offended. like "WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! DONT BLAME ME BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB!"

as for friends outside of work. weed them bitches out. start saying "no" stop answering calls, delete a few every week from your phonebook, stuff like that. when they say, "whats happened to you?" just tell them you're making time for yourself.

then get back to the coke line you cut on your hookers ass.

[RiversideS13]

i think you need to select friends wisely, it is about quality not quantity. i do not have many friends but i have few friends would be there for me if i need them

[PBucch]

just tell them you're making time for yourself.



Great advice.

[Kaizen.]

My girlfriend always told me im too mean sometimes, but thats just how I was raised. If you want something done, you gotta speak up sometimes. Don't be afraid to say no, people will just walk all over you. Thats something my gf has to work on with her friends, sometimes shes to nice and people take advantage of it.

[exitspeed]

Can I borrow $5?

JK.

Yea sometimes people take advantage. You gotta be #1 in your life. It's important to help people out as much as you can, but at the same time you can't sacrifice everything in your life to do so.

[jackjack]

i was the EXACT same way. finally got pissed and told everyone to stop wasting my time/fawk off. people are worth shit these days. its hard to find good friends.

[WilloW]

I was there once, then I learned to say "fuck off!" Your close friends are the one that you can count with just your fingers.

[airforceone451]

...You gotta be #1 in your life...
BE GENETICALLY DIFFERENT, BABY!

[240love^_^]

I always found it kind of funny how people expect help from you when they need something. However, when you need help they are nowhere to be found :[

There are not too many people I can depend on now a days. I kind of like it that way though. Having a small amount of people you can depend on rather than a huge group of unreliable people.

[IStop4NoMan]

youre not alone. my parents will not let me move out of my house because i do so much shit for them. its lame, i have to fix everything, go to the store for them, deliver stuff for them. and yes i have free rent, but i go above and beyond what normal people would do.

also my friend never help me out when i need it, but i help them move, fix shit for them, mod their cars haha.

i hate people.

[mRclARK1]

TRUE friends, the people who will go with you anywhere and back you up, are very rare. Everyone else is gaining something of some form from a friendship.

[ESmorz]

just tell them you're making time for yourself.


You know... :cj:

[SW20Racer]

You know... :cj:

usually we make it a group thing...:hug:
only my closest friends...

[azndoc]

Friendships are a 50/50 thing.

If it's anything less than that then your being taken advantage of.

Being friends with someone is being there for the good and the bad times. Not just the good times.

I'd gladly take a bat to someone's head for Alex and I know that he'd do the same for me.

I've always remember this.

Friends are for a while, but homies are for life.

[ESmorz]

usually we make it a group thing...:hug:
only my closest friends...

Cirlce Jerk ftw... :keke::keke::keke:




Friends are for a while, but homies are for life.

In all seriousness though... truer words never spoken.

I have a good deal of "friends" that I don't really care about and it goes both ways it's just people to hang out with. Then I have my "homies" the people I would do anything for and I expect them to do the same.

[an_orange_s2k]

real friends are hard to find. i knew tons of people in high school but only kept in touch with a selected few, about a handful. sucks that it happens like that but there are few people i really trust and i'd do anything for those guys/gals

[touge monster]

Hey man.. i think everyone goes through that stage in life at one point or another. I guess you come to learn that not everyone is as good as you want them to be. and thats why life kinda sucks sometimes. Its good that you've realized whats happening so now you kno wwhat to look for. Make some new friends and dont trust until you see how they are. People change.. hope this helps..

[azndoc]

Remember it's better to have one homie than 100 friends.

People are shady these days. No honor.

Also don't ever let girls come between you and your homie, that shit's weak.

Also rely on your family OP.

My family always told me that. "no matter how good you think your friends are, family will always be here for you no matter what."

When I was young I didn't think so, but now that I'm older I really do appreciate it.

[MikeisNissan]

Yeah back in HS i used to have a shit load of "friends" then they start to fake and part ways, now I only chill with one loyal dude.

[WERDdabuilder]

had this happen to me. i say fuck em. in the end you only have a hand full of "friends".

a good friend will help you bury a dead body.

[just1pepsi]

Yeah I hear what you guys are saying.. I guess I dont relate, because I never ask anyone for anything.. like I dont expect anyone to shoulder my problems or help me out.. I take care of myself, I dont usually NEED anyones help with anything, so I sort of expect that if someone asks me for help, they truely need it.

Like this "friend" of mine, awhile back calls me up and leaves me a message "Man, call me back asap, its really important" - So I get the message, call him back, and its his wifes, friends Dads computer, has a virus on it. I gave him advice. Diddnt hear from him for 2 months, same thing.. super important, call back asap!.. so I call back.. lawnmower is broken, so I go over there (got nothing better to do) fuel line came off the tank.. "hey buddy, wanna help me knock out this yard work? free beer!" - Sure, I guess.. (got nothing better to do) Then acouple weeks later, hey man, come out and watch the ballgame, drink some beers (OU football at the time, sweet I'm down with that) get there, "oh man, my wife wont shutup about this dishwasher, blah blah.. he wouldnt shut up, so I offer to look at it.. clogged drain pipe, fixed it. Thats just the tip of the iceberg as far as shit I've fixed for free.. Inbetween all of that I'd call and see whats up, and its stuff like.. oh hey, just got real busy, I'll call you right back. getting another call, etc.

Usually I wouldnt put up with this stuff, but he always says shit like, "I wouldnt know who else to ask, you're my only friend" so I feel obligated somehow.

Thats just one example.
This type of thing ends up happening with everyone I've known in my adult life. I must have "sucker" written on my forehead. I usually realize whats going on and stop being so nice, then its "youre an asshole, blah blah (especially women)" then I dont hear from them ever again.. which is fine, but I'm getting tired of putting in work trying to make friends with people (because we all need someone to hang out with and whatnot) then getting used.

[evasive_one]

Man thats when you just gotta get rid of those kinda friends for good..

I had the same problem, nowadays I don't talk to those certain people anymore because they piss me off.. but all you gotta do is ignore them.

I would suggest you go get some real friends.



-Fellow Oklahomie

[s14kouki_]

your best friends are the ones that do you the dirtiest...if you dont agree now, sooner or later you will.

[atutt]

You sure you're not my live ghost image? This sounds identicle to myself and my postion with friends.

However, I developed the ability to cease any emotional connection to whomever I need to. It works quite well! lol.

Seems like I'm surrounded with "friends" who are only around when they need something from me. I'm the type of person that would go out of my way to help someone out, and I guess thats easy for people to take advantage of. At first I thought maybe I wasnt making enough of an "effort" but I've found I'm on the only one making any effort at all. This applies to everyone in my life right now, so this was somewhat of a startling revelation for me.

Makes me wonder whats up with that.

I fully agree! Like my best friend over a decade who decided to fuck one of my g/f's I was dating for almost 4 years....

There are very few true friends in this world. So be cautious and choose wisely.
your best friends are the ones that do you the dirtiest...if you dont agree now, sooner or later you will.

[azndoc]

Dude sounds like your just Mr. fucking nice guy.

Stop that shit.

I have problems saying no at times too.

But you gotta realize that you aren't meant to be used. Fuck those dude.

Get real friends. Or just hang out by yourself. It'll be kinda lonely but fuck it at least your not being used.

Oh and OK sucks.

TX (can't afford dimples, but can afford tires) is where its at.

[JabuRB]

Bro you just gotta be like.. fuck you, you fucking smock respect me or die tryin!! JK. In all seriousness I've only got two real freinds and the rest are just assholes that I happen to talk and hang out with once and awhile. Basically just do what you really wanna do, and dont look back.

[ronmcdon]

idk, in my experience, a lot of the acquaintances including ex gfs (wouldn't call them friends) were nice and eager to be taken advantage of those who were mean or uncompromising to them. At the same time they also took advantage of ppl who were nice to them. I think socializing in general has a lot about maintaining a balance between being not too nice, but at the same time not being an outright jerk either.

During most of my life I have found it damn close to impossible to having genuinely good friends and meaningful relationships. Having ppl just to hang with is fairly easy though. My guess is that the problem could be that ppl have a tendency to interpret others being 'nice' as a sign of weakness or subordination. Usually instead of giving them what they want for free, I ask of them for favors they can deliver.

[powersteeringless180sx]

Remember it's better to have one homie than 100 friends.

People are shady these days. No honor.

Also don't ever let girls come between you and your homie, that shit's weak.

Also rely on your family OP.

My family always told me that. "no matter how good you think your friends are, family will always be here for you no matter what."

When I was young I didn't think so, but now that I'm older I really do appreciate it.

Jack speaks the truth.

That's exactly how I used to feel about family when I was younger. It took me a while to realize that they'll always be there for you even if you fuck up.

You gotta pick out your friends wisely these days.

[JeremyR]

i've got some "friends" exactly like what alot of you guys have been describing... i'm gonna leave it at that though since alot of them are on zilvia

i gotta say though..it fucking sucks being currently unemployed and hanging out by yourself all day everyday...

[just1pepsi]

Yeah, OK does mostly suck.

Thanks for the advice in this thread, its been helpful.

For some reason I thought people would treat others the way they would want to be treated. I know that probably sounds naive or lame or whatever.. Fuck, even I feel like a douche saying that, because i have KNOWN for a LONG time that people are assholes.. so I'm surprised that I'm just now realizing it. I guess I'll just start doing whats natural and not worry about it.
:)

[ms!3]

shitty friends suck. being taken advantage of sucks. i need to choose some of my friends more wisely.

[ESmorz]

I make it a priority to only ever do anything for people who do stuff for me.

So I just avoid that problem completely. Sometimes being a bit of an asshole pays off.

[evasive_one]

I know of only one friend that I can count on whenever I need anything..

Out of all the friends I have only one comes to mind that I can call a "true" friend

[azndoc]

You know what you should do.

Invite them over for coffee and food.

And piss in the coffee.

And do something awful to the food.

I'm not saying you should do it though, just that why shouldn't you.

[status:one]

Whenever i feel like that some days... I just turn my phone off and enjoy the peace and quiet and ignore them.

[cgtdream]

i think you need to select friends wisely, it is about quality not quantity. i do not have many friends but i have few friends would be there for me if i need them

Good advice...i eventually fell to doing this once also...i mean honestly there are alot of fuked up ppl in the world...ones that like to take advantage of others to get ahead and chit...kudos to the OP though for bein a good guy...

[3-240's-N-aMule]

Hey dawg, Ill be your friend!:wavey: I live in oklahoma (tulsa though). I wont even ask you for material things or money since i have everything unless you just have spare women layin around! But im in the same boat with friends askin me to lend them money (large amounts, like 500-2000) and never gettin a dime back. I wont ever ask for nothing cept for shit like helpin work on my car or somethin. Lost a few friends like that and my best friend. But i still go outta my way to make sure my friends are happy ie. buying kegs, 30 packs left and right, rides, liquor, you name it.
I dont think you can just pic your friends. Sometimes people grow on you and those are usually the ones you have to watch for. Also people that you "just get used to seein" and are always around and just assume them as friends.
Ok doesnt suck... Just everywhere outside of tulsa in OK cuz we be awesometown up here.

[O3DigitalBath]

this is pretty much how my life had been going and recently just said fuck everyone except for a select few, I seem to be having more fun not helping everyone. haha

[touge monster]

Yeah I hear what you guys are saying.. I guess I dont relate, because I never ask anyone for anything.. like I dont expect anyone to shoulder my problems or help me out.. I take care of myself, I dont usually NEED anyones help with anything, so I sort of expect that if someone asks me for help, they truely need it.

I'm getting tired of putting in work trying to make friends with people (because we all need someone to hang out with and whatnot) then getting used.

99% of the ppl in the world are fucked up and only want to be your friend cuz it benifits them somehow. Learn how to spot and avoid these people. As far as helping out, just think of it as a good deed you're doing. IF it gets too overwhelming, just simply say no. Stand up for yourself. Dont fall for that "youre my only friend" shit cuz its BS.