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nrcooled

07-26-2002, 01:08 AM

It seems that my investment stategy is working...

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock)
one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10
cent deposit, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and
recycle!

pornallstar

07-26-2002, 01:38 AM

Repost.

But still funny! <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':p'>

Frappe

07-26-2002, 08:28 AM

More friday humor.

The Work Crew:

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched while a man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. Then another man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old.

The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're notaccomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back."

"Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work and get paid."

-Frappe

KiDyNomiTe

07-26-2002, 10:34 AM

LOL got woke me up this morning. <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'>

Tyler Durdan

07-26-2002, 11:44 AM

This is from Maxim a few months back:

A beautiful woman is at a local bar one night trying to attract the attention of the bar-tender.  For 15 minutes or so, she's desperatley trying to get the bar-tender to come over.  Finally, she gives up and goes away.  Five minutes later, she comes back, reaches over and grabs the bar-tender by the back of his head.  She gradually pulls him to her, and then sticks her middle and index finger in his mouth.  She slides her fingers back and forth for a few seconds.  Then, she bends over and whispers in his hear.  She says, "The women's restroom was out of toliet paper and I had to improvise."

MasterOFDrift

07-26-2002, 12:39 PM

That is ...... nasty!  <img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/crazy.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':crazy:'>  hahaah

Nerfdude

07-26-2002, 01:36 PM

two muffins are baking in an oven. one turns to the other and says "damn, it's hot in here." the other's eyes pop wide open and he says in amazement: "holy shit! a talking muffin!"

boosteds14

07-26-2002, 01:47 PM