Don't ever ever ever do this. LOL - Zilvia.net Forums | Nissan 240SX (Silvia) and Z (Fairlady) Car Forum

rossfashow · 06-02-2008, 08:54 PM

LOL I found this on in another forum and thought it was hilarious

Quote:

So many of you know that my 3000 GT has been sitting in my garage for about 5 years now, cause I’ve been sort of busy. In that time I’ve had to endure all sorts of comments from her like “oh I see, leave me here and drive the 500SL, or “uh huh, so you been out with the Tahoe I see”. Almost like I’m cheating on her or something. And each time I go thru the garage I would walk past her in shame, and mumble “soon baby soon”. The taunting from her got so bad, and the subsequent guilt for me, that I had to park those vehicles in the driveway and sneak in thru the front door quietly. I tried the same ole bull shit like “look at all the things I’ve bought you over the years, how can you say I don’t love you anymore, I just don’t have the money to take you out or to get you running again.” “Didn’t you like the turbos with matching accessories?” You would think that that would account for something right? Wrong. Hell hath no fury like a woman that has been scorned.

Now keep in mind that not only is she broken down, I have been selling off her best parts for years. Bad idea. To the point that now she doesn’t have any more shoes, and is up on jack stands. You would think that having almost everything needed to get her running except for the entire motor would count for something, right. Wrong.

So I told her that the motor was on the way and I just needed to replace the hood locks on the CF hood before the motor is put in because it would be much easier to do. The hood will not lock without them. I was very happy to find the exact same hood locks here in AZ. WOW we were so happy again, and a real team, or so I thought.

So I install the first lock, and then climb inside the engine compartment, and close the hood as far as I can. Who hasn’t done this a thousand times? I am closterphobic but assured myself that I would be ok as this would only take a minute. I was very excited that I was only off by maybe a 1/32”. So I am all crouched over and contorted, then I go to open the hood, and to my sheer amazement it will not open. Well this must be a simple adjustment to the hood lock I just installed, but then the realization sets in that the safety latch has hooked, and I am now trapped inside my engine bay. It actually took me a minute to realize that this bitch was not playing around and she’s got me right where no man wants to be. EVER.

Surely this cant really be happening, I thought. After all this? After all I been thru in the last five years I am really going to die in here? And will the mortuary know that this car cannot be buried without a flatbed? Then the panic sets in until I realize that I have plenty of air if I just breathe in short breaths, because I could in all likelihood be trapped like a cat in fear of the engine starting, and the fan blade shredding me to pieces for a long long long long time. Its not like I could waste any survival energy by moving around much because you know how there is never enough room to work on these cars anyhow. For the first time I wish I had bought a Mustang. Even if I could reach the latch I am sure that I would move it the wrong way anyhow from this direction due to the lack of proper training. I tried for a while. I’ve latched hoods on these cars thousands of times, so it never ever occurred to me that this could ever happen. I actually meant to engage the safety mechanism when I closed the hood as I have a thousand times before.

This car was Import Car of the Year in 1991 but I don’t see any emergency release or a red handle anywhere, if there was I couldn’t see it by now cause its getting dark outside, and impending doom is standing in the corner of my garage right in front of the grim reaper. Well here’s one consumer vote that they won’t be getting.

So I did what goes against every sense of self preservation. I start yelling HELP HELP HELLLLLLLLLLLP from inside my own engine bay. Then I realize that I better only yell every fifteen seconds or I will lose my voice, and if someone shows up I can’t tap a message to them because I don’t know Morse code. If someone did show up they would open the doors, and the trunk, and then leave never thinking to look under the hood, cause nobody is that retarded to lock themselves in the engine bay.

If I had my cell phone and called the fire department to borrow the jaws of life, and even if they took me seriously, they would not have come out to my house before their little buddies in blue cleared the area first. Just how it is. And after I am rescued I really didn’t want to explain to some hottie a year from now that I have a custom hood vent that happens to look like a hatchet hole.

So then I realize it might be a real good idear to negotiate a truce, of course assuming that I have a defensible position in the ordeal, which I will soon realize that I don’t. So I been in there about two minutes and now the insanity of solitary confinement starts to set in.

Then I hear this voice say something in Japanese. The best I could make out of it was “if you go get all that stuff back that you sold of mine I will let you go”. Then I looked over with my dying flashlight (I got the 18 volt the day before they went lithium, it figures) and see an emblem that reads something in Japanese. I bet most of you didn’t know that this emblem was there. Now the little bit of history I know leads me to the epiphany that this town is only a few clicks from Nagasaki. So now I don my imaginary camis and say “I’m an American, remember the last time you messed with us? If you don’t, then call one of your cousins up in Japan and ask them to send you pictures of your ancestors shadows burned into the concrete of downtown Nagasaki, and Hiroshima. RELEASE ME NOW.

That didn’t work either. So I had to bust the hood to get out. Unfuckingbelievable. Then 2 of my neighbors walk up 1 minute later and ask me if I’m ok because they heard my cries for help. I acted stupid and said that it must have been the other neighbors fighting as they always do.

kyoru · 06-02-2008, 09:01 PM

wow great story thank you for sharing haha.

BustedS13 · 06-02-2008, 09:07 PM

so this guy has a mercedes and a tahoe and can't afford to fix his 3gt? i call parents' house.

and it's not like the engine bay is a closed compartment, how could he not get out the bottom?

plot holes aside, i lol'd

Matej · 06-02-2008, 09:16 PM

His main concern should've been his car talking to him.

Fries · 06-02-2008, 09:25 PM

Matej I think it's some sort of figurative language, but I'm not sure. I knew I shouldn't have skipped senior english!

Kinda funny story, how big is the space between the motor and the rad support? If someone told me to fit inbetween my KA and my radiator support I would cry.

BustedS13 · 06-02-2008, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fries

Matej I think it's some sort of figurative language, but I'm not sure. I knew I shouldn't have skipped senior english!

Kinda funny story, how big is the space between the motor and the rad support? If someone told me to fit inbetween my KA and my radiator support I would cry.

i think he was saying the engine was out.

Matej · 06-02-2008, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fries

Matej I think it's some sort of figurative language, but I'm not sure. I knew I shouldn't have skipped senior english!

haAHA I knoww i WAz just playyeennn ya'llz

rossfashow · 06-02-2008, 09:56 PM

i dont think he could have crawled out from the bottom due to the position of his body

touge monster · 06-02-2008, 10:01 PM

“I’m an American, remember the last time you messed with us? If you don’t, then call one of your cousins up in Japan and ask them to send you pictures of your ancestors shadows burned into the concrete of downtown Nagasaki, and Hiroshima. RELEASE ME NOW.

lol. and his car talked back

cdlong · 06-02-2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fries

how big is the space between the motor and the rad support? If someone told me to fit inbetween my KA and my radiator support I would cry.

on some cars if you drop a socket or something it might make it to the ground or get caught in something deep down. on the 3000gt you don't have that problem, it will just stop where you drop it because there is absolutely no room to go anywhere.

some random pic stolen from 3si.org

drift freaq · 06-02-2008, 10:06 PM

that shit was the dumbest ass story I have heard in a long time. Who the fuck crawls into a engine bay and closes the hood. To much drugs for that person. Or maybe not enough?
Oh and anyone who thinks his car is talking to him? Needs to go see a shrink and fast because thats basically audio halucinations which is Schizophrenia.

This thread just fails for stupidity.

rossfashow · 06-02-2008, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdlong

on some cars if you drop a socket or something it might make it to the ground or get caught in something deep down. on the 3000gt you don't have that problem, it will just stop where you drop it because there is absolutely no room to go anywhere.

some random pic stolen from 3si.org

his engine was out of his car.

Quote:

Originally Posted by drift freaq

that shit was the dumbest ass story I have heard in a long time. Who the fuck crawls into a engine bay and closes the hood. To much drugs for that person. Or maybe not enough?
Oh and anyone who thinks his car is talking to him? Needs to go see a shrink and fast because thats basically audio halucinations which is Schizophrenia.

This thread just fails for stupidity.

he was trying to line up the hood pins and adjusting where the pole of the hood pin would be placed.

drift freaq · 06-02-2008, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rossfashow

he was trying to line up the hood pins and adjusting where the pole of the hood pin would be placed.

that can be done without climbing into a engine bay. The story is still a big fail and like Matej said car talking to him? That should be his biggest worry.

rossfashow · 06-02-2008, 10:14 PM

lol he did it to put some humor to it because what he did was utterly stupid. he is pretty brave to even post it on 3si.

ESmorz · 06-02-2008, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drift freaq

that can be done without climbing into a engine bay. The story is still a big fail and like Matej said car talking to him? That should be his biggest worry.

All of that was obviously a joke. I think he was just trying to take out his frustration on having to break his new hood to get out of a stupid and compromising situation.

Lighten up people...

cdlong · 06-02-2008, 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rossfashow

his engine was out of his car.

i know that. i was trying to display how utterly impossible it would be to do with the engine there.

ms!3 · 06-02-2008, 10:17 PM

i still don't get it. the motor was out of the car, and he could'nt get out? that must be a big ass cross member. lol

eastcoastS14 · 06-02-2008, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rossfashow

his engine was out of his car.

"I could in all likelihood be trapped like a cat in fear of the engine starting, and the fan blade shredding me to pieces for a long long long long time."

not the way it sounds....i might have to call bs on this story

ESmorz · 06-02-2008, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eastcoastS14

"I could in all likelihood be trapped like a cat in fear of the engine starting, and the fan blade shredding me to pieces for a long long long long time."

not the way it sounds....i might have to call bs on this story

I think he was just expressing his claustrophobia in a metaphorical manner. Like how a cat caught in an engine bay would be scared about getting caught in the blades.

Am I just playing devils advocate? I don't know.. lol

CrashQueen · 06-02-2008, 10:56 PM

BS or not, the dude is a pretty good storyteller. I was entertained and LOL'ed just imagining his ordeal.

i think that was the purpose of this post. come on, it's stupid funny.

Farzam · 06-03-2008, 12:19 AM

I wish I could do that to myself

Vision Garage · 06-03-2008, 12:20 AM

haha. Dude didnt he say that the car was on jack stands and that the engine was out? Must be a very very big dude.

just1pepsi · 06-03-2008, 07:00 AM

I couldnt read that, I dont know if the guy was trying to be cute or funny or whatever, but damn.

powersteeringless180sx · 06-03-2008, 11:36 AM

Yea really how can you not be able to crawl out of the car from underneath.. Especially since it's already in the air on jack stands...

ayuaddict · 06-03-2008, 12:29 PM

his English was terrible but i suppose it was a decent story.

SimpleS14 · 06-03-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MS!3

i still don't get it. the motor was out of the car, and he could'nt get out? that must be a big ass cross member. lol

or he's a fat ass....

I read two paragraphs and was done reading this....

06-02-2008, 09:01 PM	#2
kyoru Zilvia Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 880 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	wow great story thank you for sharing haha. __________________

06-02-2008, 09:07 PM	#3
BustedS13 Post Whore! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Phoenix AZ Age: 36 Posts: 10,287 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	so this guy has a mercedes and a tahoe and can't afford to fix his 3gt? i call parents' house. and it's not like the engine bay is a closed compartment, how could he not get out the bottom? plot holes aside, i lol'd __________________

06-02-2008, 09:25 PM	#5
Fries Zilvia FREAK! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Texas/or/Afghanistan Age: 33 Posts: 1,511 Trader Rating: (3) Feedback Score: 3 reviews	Matej I think it's some sort of figurative language, but I'm not sure. I knew I shouldn't have skipped senior english! Kinda funny story, how big is the space between the motor and the rad support? If someone told me to fit inbetween my KA and my radiator support I would cry. __________________

06-02-2008, 09:56 PM	#8
rossfashow Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: fresno/clovis, CA Age: 34 Posts: 387 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	i dont think he could have crawled out from the bottom due to the position of his body __________________ - 1995 Mitsubishi VR4, billet 6765 - 1989 S13 FB 225whp .sold

06-02-2008, 10:06 PM	#11
drift freaq R.I.P. Aya, always love Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Los Feliz/Hollywood Posts: 18,558 Trader Rating: (215) Rides Gallery: drift freaq Feedback Score: 215 reviews	that shit was the dumbest ass story I have heard in a long time. Who the fuck crawls into a engine bay and closes the hood. To much drugs for that person. Or maybe not enough? Oh and anyone who thinks his car is talking to him? Needs to go see a shrink and fast because thats basically audio halucinations which is Schizophrenia. This thread just fails for stupidity. __________________ "Having a lot of tracks on a song is like putting stickers on a car to get more horsepower" New Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uebV1OnbRsw Buy my mounts! http://zilvia.net/f/sale-items/51531...ns-mounts.html http://zilvia.net/f/tech-talk/317539...e-mouts-6.html

06-02-2008, 09:16 PM	#4
Matej Post Whore! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: N/A Posts: 9,423 Trader Rating: (39) Feedback Score: 39 reviews	His main concern should've been his car talking to him.

06-02-2008, 10:01 PM	#9
touge monster Zilvia Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: 562, CA Age: 32 Posts: 801 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	“I’m an American, remember the last time you messed with us? If you don’t, then call one of your cousins up in Japan and ask them to send you pictures of your ancestors shadows burned into the concrete of downtown Nagasaki, and Hiroshima. RELEASE ME NOW. lol. and his car talked back

06-02-2008, 10:14 PM	#14
rossfashow Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: fresno/clovis, CA Age: 34 Posts: 387 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	lol he did it to put some humor to it because what he did was utterly stupid. he is pretty brave to even post it on 3si. __________________ - 1995 Mitsubishi VR4, billet 6765 - 1989 S13 FB 225whp .sold

06-02-2008, 10:17 PM	#17
ms!3 Zilvia FREAK! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Age: 31 Posts: 1,563 Trader Rating: (7) Feedback Score: 7 reviews	i still don't get it. the motor was out of the car, and he could'nt get out? that must be a big ass cross member. lol

06-02-2008, 10:56 PM	#20
CrashQueen Zilvia Junkie Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Norcal Posts: 340 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	BS or not, the dude is a pretty good storyteller. I was entertained and LOL'ed just imagining his ordeal. i think that was the purpose of this post. come on, it's stupid funny.

06-03-2008, 12:19 AM	#21
Farzam Post Whore! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Los Angeles / Raleigh, NC Age: 31 Posts: 5,144 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	I wish I could do that to myself __________________ loading HATERS.....99% ███████████████]

06-03-2008, 12:20 AM	#22
Vision Garage Nissanaholic! Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: USDM Land Posts: 1,799 Trader Rating: (9) Feedback Score: 9 reviews	haha. Dude didnt he say that the car was on jack stands and that the engine was out? Must be a very very big dude. __________________

06-03-2008, 07:00 AM	#23
just1pepsi Zilvia Addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: OKC Age: 38 Posts: 657 Trader Rating: (0) Feedback Score: 0 reviews	I couldnt read that, I dont know if the guy was trying to be cute or funny or whatever, but damn.

06-03-2008, 11:36 AM	#24
powersteeringless180sx Zilvia Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: SoCal (Orange County) Age: 40 Posts: 868 Trader Rating: (1) Feedback Score: 1 reviews	Yea really how can you not be able to crawl out of the car from underneath.. Especially since it's already in the air on jack stands... __________________

06-03-2008, 12:29 PM	#25
ayuaddict Post Whore! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Socal Age: 32 Posts: 4,017 Trader Rating: (9) Feedback Score: 9 reviews	his English was terrible but i suppose it was a decent story.

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