24Zero
06-28-2005, 01:26 PM
Just some funny.
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was
very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!"
Her face was beaming. He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before.
Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and
apologized. "Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you,
I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out
of the store.
The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the
world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of
who fathers her children! "
Then he got a little panicky."I don't remember her," he thought but,
MAYBE....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in
college, perhaps he did father her child!
He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked,
"Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk
and had wild crazy s*x on the pool table in front of everyone?"
"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's
second grade teacher!"
CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed. He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was
very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!"
Her face was beaming. He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before.
Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and
apologized. "Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you,
I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out
of the store.
The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the
world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of
who fathers her children! "
Then he got a little panicky."I don't remember her," he thought but,
MAYBE....during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in
college, perhaps he did father her child!
He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked,
"Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk
and had wild crazy s*x on the pool table in front of everyone?"
"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's
second grade teacher!"
CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.