Only in America?

[sLip techniques]

ONLY IN AMERICA:



Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.



Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.



Only in America.....do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.



Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!



Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.



Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

[zenkiDori]

yeah, or you know, like fifty billion other countries. :jerkit:

[IGSDann]

Teehee... I can't think of any, but I did laugh at those.

[TurK]

hahahahha so true so true :hahano:

[Chernobyl]

Pretty good. I've thought of most of these before, but some are new to me.

shut up zenkidori :) and answer my calls jackass.

[vinhisbored]

Jason, you got this off of a myspace thing!

[Chernobyl]

Jason, you got this off of a myspace thing!

BURN!!! 123445567

[infinitexsound]

agagahahaha its okay funny but not fukn funny

[sLip techniques]

Jason, you got this off of a myspace thing!

DIE!!!!!!!!! :)

[Sil Beer S13]

well its a statement.

[sepulchral]

my girlfriends in russia and she is originially from moscow, she says people tell her she has "the american smile" - She asked what that meant and the russians said its the smile of just an act, apparantly america is still a joke to them, and i can see why. on Russian television, they were making fun of bush who at a world conference was crossing his legs and drinking diet pepsi while slouching in his chair looking like a retarded ape. Other people at the conference looked at him in disgust....

This country has gone to shit because we let our moral values go down the drain just to make money any means possible... I.E. allowing GGW to make videos, making marijuana illegal, etc... The average white american girl does what she thinks will make her look cool before what she knows is right (IE be a slut).. Respect towards elderly is a joke and the dumbest thing possible and the dumbest people ever are paid the most amount of money just to prove that people can be born without brains (IE lil john, east side boys, dick cheney) i like theyre music but they are just stupid in general

anyways i know i'm rambling, but thats what happens when you put dickhead white guys in office for 50-years straight....

[Chernobyl]

anyways i know i'm rambling, but thats what happens when you put dickhead white guys in office for 50-years straight....

And Russia hasn't had dickhead white guys in office for 50 years straight? Come on....

I think it's great how laid back Bush is. More funny than great, but whatever. Listening to his ipod during conferences and shit... who cares?

[DriftGirl]

Bush is an idiot...theres nothing funny or cool about being an idiot

[RJF]

Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.

http://images.scripting.com/archiveScriptingCom/2004/10/25/clintonSalute.jpg

Draft Dodger

[Jeff240sx]

ONLY IN AMERICA:
Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
uh huh... my gf was an EMT.. never more than 10 minutes driving.

Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
So.. there's never been a handicapped person going to a birthday party? Or to watch their kids skate?
We really need to mock these people.

Only in America.....do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Ya.. we're the only call screeners. Bring proof.

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
It has to do with cleanliness of the prescription room, jackass.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!
Oh. I forgot. I guess I didn't see this happen in Mexico.

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Are you implying that robbing said bank is as easy as putting that pen in your pocket after signing a paycheck?

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Cars can deal with the elements. "Useless junk" including tools, equipment, and family heirlooms can't.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Again.. this is only in America, huh jackass?

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
The root of "politics" is actually the Greek word "polis," meaning "city or state." "Polus," means "many."
A "polites" in Ancient Greece was a citizen of a city or state, and "politikos" meant "pertaining to citizens or affairs of the state." These Greek words were carried over to Latin (where "politicus" meant the same thing), and, via the French "politique," entered English as "politic."

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Again.. someone can't drive said blind person up to the ATM, where they'd get out and use that braille?


Whoever wrote this is a complete and utter moron. The guy who copied it over to Zilvia is one and the same. This "joke" brings no humor to me at all, because ALL of it is baseless and incorrect.
And, what's more pathetic, is that Americans are laughing at this.
-Jeff

I'm in no way an elitist patriot.. but I do ask that satire about our country be well-founded.

[sLip techniques]

And Russia hasn't had dickhead white guys in office for 50 years straight? Come on....

I think it's great how laid back Bush is. More funny than great, but whatever. Listening to his ipod during conferences and shit... who cares?


its just the fact how obvious they lie to us and then everybody believes them........

[zenkiDori]

yeah at least Bush is entertaining. It's like letting a little kid run things, kinda funny.

Alex: my shit was on silent accident. fix the 240 yet? /me finds the PM button.

[Phlip]

its just the fact how obvious they lie to us and then everybody believes them........
I am so glad that I am not everybody

[sLip techniques]

Whoever wrote this is a complete and utter moron. The guy who copied it over to Zilvia is one and the same. This "joke" brings no humor to me at all, because ALL of it is baseless and incorrect.
And, what's more pathetic, is that Americans are laughing at this.
-Jeff

I'm in no way an elitist patriot.. but I do ask that satire about our country be well-founded.


SUPA KOOL! your trying to make me something to get pinked or banned, WOOT!

but yeah its a joke...if u have time to reply to every single one of those statements then you take things way to seriously....

[Jeff240sx]

SUPA KOOL! your trying to make me something to get pinked or banned, WOOT!

but yeah its a joke...if u have time to reply to every single one of those statements then you take things way to seriously....

If I want to pink or ban you, I really don't need a reason, nevermind "entrap" you. And jokes are funny. That is a list of misinformation written in an attempt to make idiots laugh.
But if you sympathize with what this is trying to say.. this isn't China. You're free to exit the borders of this country.
-Jeff

[sLip techniques]

every country is the same, we just get screwed in different ways

[MakotoS13]

slip - there is still SLAVERY in some areas of the world. there is disease EPIDEMICS, WAR, HUNGER, FEAR, AND HATE all over this stupid blue ball and there are a hundred thousand others in this stupid country that take their freedom for granted every single second of every single day then they piss and they moan when somebody they don't like gets into office or if they get pulled over by a cop.

guess what? your fuggin wetdream country japan? it sucks balls compared to the good ole us of a but nobody ever says it. they make cool movies, cars, have hot chicks, and cool swords/traditions. the end.

you kids need to live without your freedom for one day to appreciate how wonderul this life of yours really can be if you just chose to open your eyes.

[Jeff240sx]

Slip. Retarded, off topic posts will be deleted (i.e. your last one.)
-Jeff

[nismo2491]

jeff, makoto, I completely agree with your previous statements.....

[chlatboy]

Myspace whore!!!

[broken_s13]

Chlatboy dosent have a myspace.. Hes too cool

[davenavarro1]

we canadians dream of living in the states. you should all be worshiping jeff for his comment.