Long Distance

[autobahNESSA]

How many are you in, or have been in a long distance relationship? I am now about to enter one. We have been together for almost 6 months. We are used to being together everyday as we live 1.5 miles from eachother. But now she is moving off to Irvine for school. It will put us over 400 miles apart. I really like this girl, and I want it to work. Can any of you relate to this situation. Please share your story, and what were the difficulites and what has been the final outcome so far. Share good or bad.
Thanks,
Chris

[Andrew Bohan]

i had one for 3 months 800+ miles away. didn't work
but shit man, you can go see her all the time in irvine. it's really not THAT far. just watch out for cops down there man...

[autobahNESSA]

Haha how'd i know you would be one of the first to post Andrew.
Well my main concern is I work 40-48hrs a week and school full time, so Ii get tired on weekends, and having to drive down there for 2 days out of like 30 is scaring me. As she will have no car and what not. but yea I will be making a few road trips. Going next weekend already. Man Im going to be putting a lot of miles on my car.

[Var]

The same thing happened to me but i ended it before she left for UCLA. Maybe it's cause i hate talking to girls on the phone. IMO it's a hopeless situation.

[95Blue240sx]

It all depends if you are willing to go back and fourth everyother day. Are you the jealous type?

I was in one for about 6 months, but she cheated on me with a dude from here town. We were and still are close. I still ended up taking her to junior prom(Hers). But in reality it would of never worked out. She lives in San Jose now, where i live. I would of stayed with her if she didn't cheat, but thats the way the fire burns.

[aznpoopy]

wow i'm old.

6 years ago i was a senior in high school. i liked this girl for a while. finally started going out. 4 months later, senior prom, yay. stayed together all summer. she said she wanted to marry me. not 2 months into college i went to visit her, and it was different. didnt talk for a while. broke up officially christmas vacation.

not really jealousy or cheating or any of that BS. just grew apart. happens naturally over distance. seeing as you guys are only 6 months in, sorry but i'd be really surprised if you guys 'made it.' but i'd be very happy for you if you did. good luck man!

[Andrew Bohan]

hey chris maybe you should apply to irvine. haha LP socal division begin!

[airsoft]

400 miles, just buy round trip domestic flight tickets early =] cost is near same for fuel and stuff.
get that mileage plus plan credit card.

[autobahNESSA]

yea I think American Express has flying awards and they keep sending me offers. But I heard that applying for new credit cards lowers your credit score. I dont want to screw up my 1.9% apr. Problem with flying is hassle of getting to airport and crap. I have friends up here, but down there I gues pay taxi or something.

[Buffalo Daughter]

it only works if your commited to each other and are willing to travel far and arent the jealous type and she aint a cheater. Well if shes good for it and she aint like that then go for it. Otherwise if you cant stand the heat, chill out.

[old_s13]

http://www.retrogaming.it/megadrive/Alter6.gif

quoting the famous words from the video game "altered beast"

"welcome to your doom"

that shit NEVER works.

- mike

[Jimmyg41]

Long distance relationships tend to never work out. Doesn't mean yours won't work out. It all depends on how commited you are to the relationship and vice versa. It's going to take a lot of work on both behalfs to make it work. I've been in two (I move too much) and they didn't work out. After the second one I knew I would never do it again.

[Mr. Badlose]

http://www.retrogaming.it/megadrive/Alter6.gif

quoting the famous words from the video game "altered beast"

"welcome to your doom"

that shit NEVER works.

- mike

"WIIIISE FWOM YOU'LL GWAVE!"



Sorry.

[SilviaNinja240]

I wish you luck bro, but honestly, in my experience.. long distance relationships will ONLY work out, if one party is willing to move to the other within an aloted time period. (The concept of how long is a "long time" differs from couple to couple) But this should be done ASAP, if this condition can't be met... Just prepare yourself.

[old_s13]

I wish you luck bro, but honestly, in my experience.. long distance relationships will ONLY work out, if one party is willing to move to the other within an aloted time period. (The concept of how long is a "long time" differs from couple to couple) But this should be done ASAP, if this condition can't be met... Just prepare yourself.


Yep.. I completely agree.

You see, life really is like a game of altered beast. The LD situation popped up, its like when you see the leader at the end of a level... "WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM" .. . . .. you think to youself, "OH SHIT, Im fucked! That creature is twice as tall as I am and throws flying skulls at me"

BAM.. after you punch it in the stomach a good 30 times, it dies. Sure, you may die once or maybe twice... but if you have extra men, "RIIIISE FROM YOUR GRAVE" and bam, you're alive to fight again.

So my friend, wait till level 3 when you turn into the bear.. thigns will be good because nothing can hit you when you tuck into a ball and spin, that shit is the bomb. Even that last level is good, when you're a taradactyl and shoot fire and electrcute shit.

- Mike

[theicecreamdan]

this guy knows what he's talkin about!

thanks old_s13 i think you have given me a new look on life

[ZK]

Yep.. I completely agree.

You see, life really is like a game of altered beast. The LD situation popped up, its like when you see the leader at the end of a level... "WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM" .. . . .. you think to youself, "OH SHIT, Im fucked! That creature is twice as tall as I am and throws flying skulls at me"

BAM.. after you punch it in the stomach a good 30 times, it dies. Sure, you may die once or maybe twice... but if you have extra men, "RIIIISE FROM YOUR GRAVE" and bam, you're alive to fight again.

So my friend, wait till level 3 when you turn into the bear.. thigns will be good because nothing can hit you when you tuck into a ball and spin, that shit is the bomb. Even that last level is good, when you're a taradactyl and shoot fire and electrcute shit.

- Mike


Wow, I totally forgot about this Sega game until you brought it up...

LD is hard. Some people have done it depends how strong a relationship you have with each other and how often you see each other. My ex moved to Ohio from California for grad school... we did LD for 3 months and she broke it off after that. :(

[keepitmovin]

not really jealousy or cheating or any of that BS. just grew apart. happens naturally over distance. seeing as you guys are only 6 months in, sorry but i'd be really surprised if you guys 'made it.' but i'd be very happy for you if you did. good luck man!

Couldnt have said it better myself. Heres some advice. If it works it works. If it dosent it dosent. Think that it wont work out too well, so if/when it dosent you wont be too hurt with all the "expectations" you had. Good luck

[RBS14]

I wish you luck bro, but honestly, in my experience.. long distance relationships will ONLY work out, if one party is willing to move to the other within an aloted time period. (The concept of how long is a "long time" differs from couple to couple) But this should be done ASAP, if this condition can't be met... Just prepare yourself.


I completely concur.

I did a loooooooooooong (me in CA, she was in Alaska) distance relationship, it didn't work out in the end. neither of us were "the jealous type" or anything like that. But you don't get to take part in the little things that make relationships fun when you are apart. You don't realize how important they are until you don't have them. The other thing is that tension can build up between you 2 simply because there is distance (land) between you guys and it can eat away at you and make it super hard. These are just my experiences, they won't necessicarily be yours. But in the end, it's not going to work out if you aren't together. Or if by some odd chance it does, it won't be the same as before.

[goodjuan]

my gf and I have been going out for 4+ years now, 3 of which she has been going to school in Irvine. We're better than ever.
The long distance was pretty good for us. We are both really busy people so we can't demand too much of the other person's time anyway. We usually saw each other once a month give or take. Having time apart made time together sweeter.

Granted...we both have our own stuff pretty together. Two disfunctional people getting together is trouble no matter if you live next door or across the country. Be open, and be a good listener. Don't have too much pride...that crap doesn't belong in a relationship.

Good luck

[autobahNESSA]

Thanks for being honext guys.
well she moved off on saturday morning, ah I hated to see her go.
So well see how it goes.
Thanks for giving it to me strait.

[old_s13]

The long distance was pretty good for us. We are both really busy people so we can't demand too much of the other person's time anyway. We usually saw each other once a month give or take. Having time apart made time together sweeter.

depends on what you guys consider "time apart" -- not being with someone is NOT being with someone, that means that you're basically away from that person. this is much different than seeing that person every week, or every two weeks, or every month, etc etc...

if you dont see a person every week, then you're pretty much doomed and going to lose that person. why? because someone ELSE will see that person every week, maybe even every day. and by see, i dont mean look at.. i mean, there's a good chance that dick and poonanny will be exchanged. its not about whoring it up, its about needs that people need.

[evilimport]

give it a shot for the hell of it and see how things go, but the odds a very very much against you. At least you can say you learned something from it when it doesnt work out.

[NismoSilvia270R]

how far is it from PA to HI? doesnt affect us a bit. we're learning everyday. the only two reasons i believe they dont work out are:
1. one or both parties do not really like each other, but are lonely so they start these lds until they come to realization. just make sure you can see that in the beginning and not rationalize yourself into one
2. a party or both are just pansies and cant take it. distance apart allows time to get closer on levels other than physical. if youre a whore then it wont last.

[old_s13]

a party or both are just pansies and cant take it. distance apart allows time to get closer on levels other than physical. if youre a whore then it wont last.

bullshit, i was waiting for a silly response like this.

its not about being a whore or connecting on a "higher level" its about the emotions that can only be transcended through touching and holding the person you have emotions for. words are much less valuable than touch and a real life physical relationship.. and time will ALWAYS reveal this.

all i can say, is get a good long distance plan.. otherwise it just may be a very expensive lesson.

good luck!

[kazuo]

I loved Mr. Mamos' wonderful analogy, ahahahaha

And yes, the bear is the shit.

Good luck Chris.. my other friend who's middle name was Chris went through this before (except it was UCLA) and... :/

[chineseb0i]

i can relate...and i hope you hear me out. I'm currently about to attend my 2nd year at UC Davis..which is only a hours drive from where i live. I have been with my girlfriend for 2+ years now and the first year I was a senior and she was a junior in high school. When I got started to attend Davis..the first few months were rough..hard..and a lot of issues of trust and time on the phone nearly drove me into insanity. So close was I to breaking up but worked things out with her eventually. As the year began to end we were good. Summer hit and things were even better. I'm leaving this week and she'll be sad but it will still be fine. Like the many other zilvian's said it tends to not work but if it does then u know that she wants it and that u want it. Good luck.

Solomon

[TheSnail]

Its been 4.3 years, and 450miles appart and we have not flinched. Hope you have a good celll phone plan, if not, I hope you love her, if not, move on.

[Daniel]

which one of you is adrian's boyfriend... I am allison's brother if any of you are him (he has an engine conversion).

[sykikchimp]

...People change in College. That's what college is about.

One of those changes usually involves sex and alcohol. This is why long distance relationships out of HS into College don't work.

And a cardinal rule.. Proximity is key in relationships of ANY kind. The closer they are physically, the closer they will be mentally. (be it friends or lovers)

[MakotoS13]

the worst thing that could happen is her realizing that she doesn't need you. sadly, that's also the most likely thing as well.

[S14Speed997]

It's not worth it....It won't work....take these words to heart. I tried it twice with my g/f of 8 years. Unless you plan on her moving in with you within a year, or you moving to be with her, it wont work......Did i mention it wont work?? lol

I now have a g/f that lives near me, and it is the best thing...

[240meowth]

you can buy my cell phone off of me... my plan has 43hrs of roll over minutes on it w/ 600 added every month... that'll keep you till the end of the year =b 'cause like, i was planning to call my g/f, but she like... moved in w/ me...

[BSeay]

aight my personal opinion is i would break it off before she goes to college because MOST long distance relationships dont work...

now for the psy reason :bigok:

it's a proven fact that for relationships to work there has to be some kind of physical contact to facilitate growth in the relationship. Without that physical contact the relationship gets stressful. Also for people to be able to make things like this work there has to be a level of trust, i wouldnt think that after 6 months that level of trust is there... and also it's proven that the more you're exposed to someone you find attractive the closer you grow and the more you want them. Attraction is facilitated by the interaction with someone on a regular basis, usually face to face interaction is better and therefore you become closer in matters like that.

So when distance is thrown in there with life it makes things alot more complicated because you get not seeing someone you care about, them not seeing you and the fact that they can only go without for so long. After that they find your replacement and it's over for you and that other person...