Child Custody/ Visitation Issues

[I LUV MY S13]

Thanks :rimshot:

[Sleepiedaze]

personal exp. lawyer the fuck up.

you have 3 strikes against you.

1. you live in california. men are fucked.
2. she already has a restraining order and the judge approved it. shows your unstable and not a fit parent.
3. she already knows the system and is basically prepping you get analy fucked.

find a lawyer now. dont go thru the courts with out one becuase you will be screwed.

[I LUV MY S13]

personal exp. lawyer the fuck up.

you have 3 strikes against you.

1. you live in california. men are fucked.
2. she already has a restraining order and the judge approved it. shows your unstable and not a fit parent.
3. she already knows the system and is basically prepping you get analy fucked.

find a lawyer now. dont go thru the courts with out one becuase you will be screwed.

Yeah I'm currently undergoing that. My issue is being a broke fuck and lawyers lagging it and giving me different info. Idk its just hard to trust these guys. Also their delay affects me cuz I'm trying to get the ball rollin ASAP. No way am I gonna wait 4-6 months to see my daughter.

[I LUV MY S13]

anybody else wanna chime in?

[lewisfk]

^^^ He is right! Just left Cali and watched my buddies get the shaft! If you want your rights, you must get a lawyer. There is a group called Father's rights, they can give info. You also can represent yourself in court, by utilizing the family court side of the house. There are fees associated with the process but 1/4 of what a lawyer would charge.

[Felipe]

Lawyer

Attend some bs parenting classes of some sort (always good on paper)

Be in stable living conditions (that includes money/job)

Dont act a fool (no kicking puppies and kittens)

Work the system to your advantage and you could get more of your asking.

The courts dont know you. They only know whats on paper, thats what defines who you are and what the case is about.

[simmode1]

You've gotten some good advice in this thread so far and I don't really have any more to add on that legal front since that's outside of my experience. But here's the part that really caught my eye:
Fast forward 7 months, she catches me in a string of lies and we break up and she ends up filing a restraining order. Certainly, there are crazy chicks out there. But in my experience, many of these crazy chicks were driven crazy by stuff we (as guys) did & never really accepted responsibility for. Were I in your shoes, I'd be doing a lot of introspective thinking to determine how you contributed to the escalation of this situation & how to demonstrate a committment to reversing course. I mean, you two DID like each other at one point, right? There is a very real possiblity that, if handled correctly, 2 people can raise a child without court intervention.

[living4surf]

get a lawyer and get one now because you are already in a bad position. if she really is crazy like my ex (porn "star", doing drugs, bipolar, and much more) you are going to need to do a psychological eval on her but keep in mind if she isn't really crazy a clean eval will only look good for her especially given the restraining order.

the only other advice i have for you is you need to start finding money and find it quick i was able to get full custody but it cost me about 40k in lawyer fees, psych bills and other misc things.

as was already said the thing about you being caught lying seems like you need to really think before you go throwing around allegations in court or even go to court if there are things you don't want coming out.

[t_rempel]

That's a sucky situation.
Have you documented what's happened since she got pregant? Changes in actions, behaviour, attitude etc. Do know anybody who can attest to her behaviour?
I don't have any experience, but I cant imagine those things hurting.

[ZenkiKid]

Only advice anybody can really give you is get a Lawyer.

[zurud]

Condom is so cheap

[No 240.. No id]

Wow^^^, thats helpful.

This is the same reason i refuse to get married. Its a stupid choice you may say, but i don't want to put my life on the line.

However, hire a lawyer and hopefully he/she can hold all the crazy things against her. As long as she don't hire a lawyer, you have a good chance wining the case.

[1 88 U]

How is her relationship with her family and what is your relationship with them?

[Jsal32]

Never been in this situation and hope that I never have to be, I have a little one of my own, but I would say that simmode1 is on the right track.

Lawyers are expensive and the court system takes forever. Why not try and reflect on your part in this situation try to change whatever it is YOU did to add to the present situation that you're in and try to appeal to her sensible side (once/or-if you're able to get past the craziness)?

There's no reason a child should be without their father's love and presence.

Good luck.

-Jose

[I LUV MY S13]

.................................................. .

[feito]

I also cheated ...lied ...while she was pregnant I got caught thinking I could get away with it ..


http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j341/andres14oj/09a23265dd201a0b171d56c74621e559aca6bbba8d3b2999bd 4d11f29ff0ce48_zpsb8889b25.jpg (http://s1081.photobucket.com/user/andres14oj/media/09a23265dd201a0b171d56c74621e559aca6bbba8d3b2999bd 4d11f29ff0ce48_zpsb8889b25.jpg.html)

[HyperTek]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-o7sc84020gk/U-O_5izAePI/AAAAAAAAWUY/v5e7iVFhi6w/s1600/sorry+if+I%5C'm+late+popcorn+line+was+long.jpg

lol

I hate seeing single women with babies, but i guess they brought it upon themselves..

[EnemyS15]

Some basic stuff that I went through, although my situation wasn't like your episode of maury p.

getting child support established does not = visitations. So don't go all gung ho and place yourself on child support, thinking you're going to see your child. The ball is still in her court.

You got any priors?

Your appearance plays a big role in court. Ever hear the saying "first impressions are always the most important?" That applies 200% in court. Do you look like a punk or some hoodlum? Prepare to work 5 times as hard cause your initial impression you'll give off is.. LOSER and they will suddenly agree that you are the type to put a gun up to a woman. If you appear to be grungy, disheveled, ghetto, punk.. etc etc etc... TIME to clean up your shit and make yourself look like a respected, hardworking man, who is going to be a positive influence as a FATHER. sorry to be so blunt about it, but this is the reality of the situation.

You got your own place? is it neat and clean? Got a 2 bedroom place? By law, even if your child is only spending every other weekend with you(for example), they need their own room even at 0 days old.

Steady FULL TIME job (and don't attempt to use the "im going full time for my degreee" line, cause the judge will laugh at you and now you look like an unfit parent. If you are, prepare to work your ass off while in school)

Keep your mouth shut about your ex to anyone and especially on any social medium, regardless of your ironclad privacy settings.

Refrain from calling her, keep everything in text and emails and save them all! If she goes off on you and calls you the worst possible thing or presses your buttons.... STFU and let it all get saved on text. Kill her with kindness, it'll only benefit you in the long run.

Restraining order is a small hurdle. Just cause she's the next contestant on the your baby momma is a psychopath, doesn't discredit you as an "unfit parent". You just gotta plead your case and let the whole "she made this up" go (if that is how the story went) cause it will only make you look like you're making excuses. Just say what they need to hear and call it a day.

Don't try to be smooth, don't try to set her up to make her look bad, it'll acme blow up in your face. Don't just show up, cause you want to see your baby and you have the right to see the child. If you don't see her/him for a while, gotta suck it up. do it all by the books.

at the end of the day.... PONY UP FOR A LAWYER. DO NOT.. I REPEAT DO NOT try to do this all on your own. You are behind the 8 ball, you're a dood, shes bat shit crazy and can make up some pretty convincing shit, she will play the boohoo I am a single mom sob story.... You will end up eating costs after costs, get put on child support, and not see your child. Let a lawyer do the dirty work, find one that is realistic and vicious. you'll thank every one of us that has given you this tip in the long run.

I just got done with my scenario... I was stay at home father left the fire department to care for my 2 1/2 premature daughter, mom is a nurse practitioner. She landed a big dollar position and suddenly she was better than me and I was nothing, she shacked up with a dood who made more money, I left and GOT A LAWYER , followed those exact same tips I just gave you.. Long story short, we have a time sharing plan, I get her 60% to her 40%, I file taxes on her every year, ex had to pay retrograde child support for 6 months which came out to around 3700.00 and she pays me 657 in child support each month. So when you go to court, try to do a "time sharing plan" don't go throwing the word custody around. If you do, you'll probably get shafted... the word custody and mother go hand in hand. Fathers get a " i went to court and all I got was this lowsy T shirt" shirt and that's it.

Good luck and hope you end up getting to be a part of your child's life.

[No 240.. No id]

I also cheated ...lied ...while she was pregnant I got caught thinking I could get away with it ..


Someone need a password.. :picardfp:

[dac2828]

Were you raped? Did she hold a gun to your head and force you to have sex with her? She's having someone elses child or your child? I don't understand.

You should take this opportunity to better yourself for the mother of your child and your child not to mention yourself. I don't care what anyone says... all women are beautiful and it's our responsibility as men... to love all women... and take responsibility for our actions. Don't give half of your income for the next x amount of months/years to an attorney. Send her some flowers... write her a letter... a nice one. Tell her you're sorry for pretending to not know where babies come from and how they are created. Send her some money if she needs it and you can afford it... work harder and earn more if you can't. Make friends with her parents. You've been an adult for 7 years... accept it. You should consider trying to make it work with her... buy a ring... look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if your child is better off with you present in their life or not.

I don't understand why you and a few others think you're screwed. What is the objective? Is your objective seeing your child... and keeping him or her away from their mother? Is your objective avoiding the financial responsibility of supporting your child? I would imagine the objective is to raise a happy and healthy child into an adult.

This is my take on your attitude toward the situation.

Maybe I'm wrong and you have a large income or are born into wealth and she did hold a gun to your head or it's not your child... but then what's the big deal... right? Now... 95% of porn actress' are not drug users... right? They do it because they want to please their viewers... they love the arts... not for money or drugs... right? Don't play dumb... take responsibility for your actions... everyone knows... actions speak louder than words.

It sounds like you're just looking for a hug and some acceptance here... that's great and all... but... I really do hope if the child is born and he or she is your offspring you do your best to take care of the child AND his or her mother. Now... if you were raped... that's another story.

[EnemyS15]

Were you raped? Did she hold a gun to your head and force you to have sex with her? She's having someone elses child or your child? I don't understand.

You should take this opportunity to better yourself for the mother of your child and your child not to mention yourself. I don't care what anyone says... all women are beautiful and it's our responsibility as men... to love all women... and take responsibility for our actions. Don't give half of your income for the next x amount of months/years to an attorney. Send her some flowers... write her a letter... a nice one. Tell her you're sorry for pretending to not know where babies come from and how they are created. Send her some money if she needs it and you can afford it... work harder and earn more if you can't. Make friends with her parents. You've been an adult for 7 years... accept it. You should consider trying to make it work with her... buy a ring... look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if your child is better off with you present in their life or not.

I don't understand why you and a few others think you're screwed. What is the objective? Is your objective seeing your child... and keeping him or her away from their mother? Is your objective avoiding the financial responsibility of supporting your child? I would imagine the objective is to raise a happy and healthy child into an adult.

This is my take on your attitude toward the situation.

Maybe I'm wrong and you have a large income or are born into wealth and she did hold a gun to your head or it's not your child... but then what's the big deal... right? Now... 95% of porn actress' are not drug users... right? They do it because they want to please their viewers... they love the arts... not for money or drugs... right? Don't play dumb... take responsibility for your actions... everyone knows... actions speak louder than words.

It sounds like you're just looking for a hug and some acceptance here... that's great and all... but... I really do hope if the child is born and he or she is your offspring you do your best to take care of the child AND his or her mother. Now... if you were raped... that's another story.



HUH!?http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/what1.gif

[Highway Riding]

GL man. Crazy woman can ruin good men. I have seen it time and time again. Just recently my god daughters mother cried wolf for the second time in a year and for this our family will spend it all to put her through the ringer. First time she called the cops she admitted she wasn't hit at all after claiming so but yet wasn't arrested herself for the false claim. Well since she got away with she did it again in another town. Point being crazy woman are the scariest to deal with!

[Kaizen.]

I was once in a similar situation. Heres my story......

Abortion.

Thee end.

[feito]

I was once in a similar situation. Heres my story......

Abortion.

Thee end.

http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j341/andres14oj/qLSJ4WQ_zpsygfj3ydh.gif (http://s1081.photobucket.com/user/andres14oj/media/qLSJ4WQ_zpsygfj3ydh.gif.html)


This man knows what's up. It would make a lot of lives better.

[I LUV MY S13]

.................................................. .....

[innovation]

Sounds like this guy is a waste of air. Go play in a freeway

[silviasandbeer]

If hacking into someone's private email and forum account isn't a violation of the "restraining order"
Than it's some other crime

This should be locked before it gets to personal and weird

In the words of diabolic, an underground hip hop artist .

"Now I'm off to family court
Man, why the fuck did I ever take this bitches panties off"