Today You, Tomorrow Me. Just a reminder to be human.

[fyneyoungstunna]

Long story, but worth it.

Originally posted here (not by me): http://www.reddit.com/r/AskRed...8z0z2

Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some **** happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.

This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.

Anyway, each of these times this **** happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really ***** 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say **** like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."

But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.

He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. ****.

No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best ***** tamale I have ever had.

So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...

But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My ***** $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."

Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best ***** tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.

In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."

tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.

[Kingtal0n]

thanks for sharing that, and its completely true. Tomorrow, today, we are short lived, easy to die.

[dsastr_clan]

im glad i ran into this thread, thank you for sharing.

[Sumslapper]

Very true about today you, tomorrow me. It has happened to all of us and when someone helps out like that, it affects us for the rest of our lives. To be that helping hand you can be changing and impacting someone else's life in a positive way. Nothing like a good deed!

[NismoDriverS13]

unfortunately not a lot of people like that out there anymore. Not trying to jack your thread, but I had a flat tire once, on my 21st bday, in the pouring rain, the person I was with ditched me cause they were tired and had to go home. I spent 3 hours standing in the rain trying to change the wheel with no jack and a wrong size lug nut cross all by myself. got lucky when AAA guy saw me and helped me out for free. I hated everything for a good month after that. lol.

but we do need more friendliness in the world, just my 2 cents.

[Joekuh]

not to try to politicize this thread, but it seems like its usually people that weren't born in the country or immigrated here that will help someone out the most.

[Sumslapper]

not to try to politicize this thread, but it seems like its usually people that weren't born in the country or immigrated here that will help someone out the most.

Yes because a lot of people in the US have seen a news story or TV show showing someone getting kidnapped or killed when they pull over and help someone. How often do you see a good deed like this on the news that makes you feel good when you read it or hear about it? Never. We are taught to be scared.

[LEG1T]

Dude, thank you for posting this. It almost made me tear up because i imagined the situation playing out in my head. These people have so little and still they are willing to help others. It's awesome that you have payed this forward also with the same line for others. And I hate it when people don't take your money as appreciation, but it just goes to show you that its not about the money. It's really just about helping others.

Twice in my life I have given total strangers rides to a place where they needed to go. And both times they were extremely grateful. I swear you get into the best conversations with these people because for that onetime in your life... You put yourself out there, and in that moment you realize that really we are all in this together. Were just trying to make it in this life with what we have. You are just sharing there hardship with them, choosing to be the one that makes there life a bit easier for that short period of time. It's a great thing. You don't know who these people are, you just know that they need help. It's truly a beautiful thing when someone helps you out and an even sweeter thing when you get to the opportunity to pay it forward...

Awesome story and I hope the people that see this thread read it and try to help others out more. Granted everyone out there isn't angels, but you should use your judgement and deff try to help.

[Joekuh]

use your judgement and deff try to help.

That's where I am with it. Karma will catch up to someone who tries to take advantage of a stranger's kindness.

[Matej]

Most Americans are afraid of everyone and everything and would rather go out of their way to look the other way. People who have not lived here long have not yet had enough time to develop that mentality, so they are still willing to help out a stranger.

[simmode1]

Funny how this thread was virtually ignored in January, but now it's blowing up. I hate to be the sexist asshole here, but I only stop to help women. Not because I want something from them, but because I figure as a guy, you should be able to take care of yourself. Plus, ladies are a little less likely to repay your kindness by mugging you. Just being honest. But I also do brake for other 240 drivers too... lol

[KiLLeR2001]

I was driving home from work one night a few years back, and I spotted a young blonde chick on the side of the road with her flashers on just looking at her wheel. I pulled over to the side of the road and asked her if she needed help with her flat tire. She was obviously crying and said she was standing there for over 20 minutes and no one would stop. I couldn't believe it because she was actually cute, in her early 20's.

Anyways, I get the jack out and start helping her with the wheel removal, and the next thing I know, 3 dudes come out of the woods next to the side of the road and just start beating me uncontrollably, I then noticed she had stopped crying and started kicking me too as well. I remember her saying something along the lines of "I got this motherfucker good!" I was beaten to a bloody pulp, they stole my cellphone, wallet and stole shit out of my car and completely destroyed it by smashing the glass and kicking in all the body panels. I was in the ICU for 2 weeks, suffered a concussion and some broken ribs... The nurses said I was lucky to be alive, and asked me what I did to deserve this and I said I was just trying to help someone on the side of the road with a flat tire. They were all speechless with their jaws to the floor...

Well, none of this is actually true, but can you imagine if it was? Some fucked up shit man.

[FaLKoN240]

I was driving home from work one night a few years back, and I spotted a young blonde chick on the side of the road with her flashers on just looking at her wheel. I pulled over to the side of the road and asked her if she needed help with her flat tire. She was obviously crying and said she was standing there for over 20 minutes and no one would stop. I couldn't believe it because she was actually cute, in her early 20's.

Anyways, I get the jack out and start helping her with the wheel removal, and the next thing I know, 3 dudes come out of the woods next to the side of the road and just start beating me uncontrollably, I then noticed she had stopped crying and started kicking me too as well. I remember her saying something along the lines of "I got this motherfucker good!" I was beaten to a bloody pulp, they stole my cellphone, wallet and stole shit out of my car and completely destroyed it by smashing the glass and kicking in all the body panels. I was in the ICU for 2 weeks, suffered a concussion and some broken ribs... The nurses said I was lucky to be alive, and asked me what I did to deserve this and I said I was just trying to help someone on the side of the road with a flat tire. They were all speechless with their jaws to the floor...

Well, none of this is actually true, but can you imagine if it was? Some fucked up shit man.

That's the American mentality everyone is talking about.

Also, in that situation, I would be suspect, and I def wouldn't do it if I was alone.

[CrimsonRockett]

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Today_0da3f4_1959258.jpg

[Corbic]

Most Americans are afraid of everyone and everything and would rather go out of their way to look the other way. People who have not lived here long have not yet had enough time to develop that mentality, so they are still willing to help out a stranger.

Ever been to China or the rest of the world?

This isn't an "American" phenomena.


We in the US are this way for many reasons.

1st - Safety. I'm sorry to say but there are a lot of crazy, creepy, scary people out there. It's just the world we live in. Sure, not everyone one is a serial killer, but it just takes that 1 in 10, 1 in 100 or 1 in 1,000 chance.

2nd - Cell Phones. Generally none of us feel someone with a flat tire is about to die on the side of the road. They may be inconvenienced, but they won't die.

3rd - Leave me Alone. Generally we want to be left alone, so therefore we generally avoid others. Don't believe me? Next time at the mall food court go up to a group sitting at a table with ample seating, start up a conversation. It won't go over well.

4th - To big. One of the reasons we have rustic dreams of small town classic America where teenagers help grandmothers carry their groceries is because these where very small communities. Everyone knew everyone. They also struggled, conflict brings people together and they relied on each other. Today you have the Government. So when your out of work, or your house gets blown over, you rely on them or the insurance company. You don't need me to help. Just like I don't need you. I think the comment about many immigrants being more readily willing to help is because of this. They came from small struggling communities that didn't rely on insurance, government or other large "nannies" to take care of them.

5th - Travel the World. In the US people will at least call 911 if they see you in a car accident or having a heart attack on the side of the street. In a country like China, many won't even stop to watch, few will dare interfere, it's none of their business after all. Some studies indicate this is a natural physiological phenomena. Kinda like how all the Zebra keep running while one of their friends gets eaten by a lion. Many documented cases of people crying out for help cause of Rape or Assault and nobody interfering for personal fear. Another issues is "group think", in any society you are more likely to help if you feel there is no one else to help. (This goes back to the cell phone comment). If 50 people are driving by, you just assume someone else has already called the police or offered to stop. If it's just you... you know it's all on your shoulders and are guilted into it.

6th - lastly, litigation. Many of us worry that in our lack of "expertise" with helping, we may make a situation worse... and open our selves to blame.

[Corbic]

Now for my personal opinion.

I wouldn't help someone broken down on a major road simply because I have no desire to be hit and killed by traffic. In my parts we have about a dozen deaths every winter because of that shit.

[conrad_s13.5]

lol at all the excuses

sure people die and get jumped or mugged trying to do a good deed all the time.

People also get cancer from being outside or drinking milk.

I was driving down the highway and had a blowout just last week. 5 mins later a girl pulled in the same gas station with a blown tire too. I had no tools or a spare, but friends and resources nearby. Ask if shes ok, and she seemed timid to even hold a brief convo with me. Said her dad was on the way. Few mins go by and she realized I had a flat too, sparks up another convo. Find out her dad lives 2 hours out and a friend is on the way to keep her company (safe). Psssssssh. Tell her to tell her dad not to worry about it. Swap out her spare with her factory spare and jack she had no idea about in her trunk.
Was just painful to see how it wrecked her whole world gettin a flat, and she was too afraid to ask anyone at the gas station for help.

People shouldnt be afraid to help,. and people shouldnt be afraid to ask for help.


To OP,... good read man

[LoneStarSilvia]

People shouldnt be afraid to help,. and people shouldnt be afraid to ask for help.




I feel you on that one, SHOULDN'T be.

I'm generally a very generous guy and will help out friends who ask for it. But when it comes to total strangers, it only takes one time to get fucked up.

There's a fine line between being cautious, and being scared.

[conrad_s13.5]

^unfortunately its the truth man

We live in a world where people stage a fight waiting for people to try to stop it, and get jumped and mugged themselves

Then we got people that make viral videos publicly shaming people for not helping out the little guy.

if you lose either way, might as well do it standing up for something or someone

[Corbic]

lol at all the excuses

sure people die and get jumped or mugged trying to do a good deed all the time.

People also get cancer from being outside or drinking milk.

I was driving down the highway and had a blowout just last week. 5 mins later a girl pulled in the same gas station with a blown tire too. I had no tools or a spare, but friends and resources nearby. Ask if shes ok, and she seemed timid to even hold a brief convo with me. Said her dad was on the way. Few mins go by and she realized I had a flat too, sparks up another convo. Find out her dad lives 2 hours out and a friend is on the way to keep her company (safe). Psssssssh. Tell her to tell her dad not to worry about it. Swap out her spare with her factory spare and jack she had no idea about in her trunk.
Was just painful to see how it wrecked her whole world gettin a flat, and she was too afraid to ask anyone at the gas station for help.

People shouldnt be afraid to help,. and people shouldnt be afraid to ask for help.


To OP,... good read man

Catch to your story is it was a cute little girl.

What if it was these guys?

http://a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/105/e41372274dd34027af04493b270fb457/l.jpg

Would you still be all helpful and concerned?

Also, why do you feel all sad for people to ignorant and stupid to know how to change a tire? It's not rocket science, it's not complicated and in a well maintained vehicle it requires NO PHYSICAL EFFORT beyond what any healthy normal person can do.

You should bitch slap her dead beat dad for not teaching her how to take care of her self.

http://comp1mjproject.wikispaces.com/file/view/James%2BMichael.jpg/218905594/267x224/James%2BMichael.jpg

[OutlawLui]

bump for reading..



DEM FEELS

[xilovelsdx]

OP - TLDR but just sounds like pay it forward. What is this today you, tomorrow me garbage?

Corbic - I agree with you.

[conrad_s13.5]

What if it was these guys?
...Also, why do you feel all sad for people to ignorant and stupid to know how to change a tire?
I see where youre going with this...lol
first, I dnt think those dudes would have a problem changing a tire, or feel afraid to ask for help.....at all...lol

...and never said I was sad at all. Shit was painful. I should have let the dad drive out 2hrs just cuz he fucked up. Instead I just did it, and showed her all 3 steps it takes while I was waitin on my dudes to show up

[BossHogg]

Good read. Conrad makes my heart melt.

That is why you keep one in the chamber. Exercise your rights. They don't call them peace makers for no reason. Its to risky to not have that piece of mind now a days.

Also killer, I have heard of shit like that happening to people. Except this guy went back home with a chic, to her place and her mexican "posse" was waiting back home for the victim. She was the bait. Stole his entire paycheck. Damn near killed him. We were right on the mexican border lol.

[collegekid]

that was a good read.

In response to/ to go along with corbic's statistical post above, I'd like to give my own thoughts as well.

My dad lived in one of the poorest towns in India. Now he's got a beer store and a lot of money. I am aware of how people tend to be the exact same copy of their parents or be the complete opposite and I seem to be an exact copy. So whenever my dad gives me some advice or his opinion on something, I try to think " why does he think like this?"

When he was still living in India, the townspeople did actually help each other out and everyone knew everyone. Now he has the exact same mentality Corbic has described.
"Leave me alone." "I don't need you and you don't need me."

I'm always curious to know what kind of shit he has seen to have his brain switched. I doubt a few ungrateful Americans changed his caring attitude into the "separated from society" attitude he has now. I usually stop to help people unless I know they are asshole drivers and it's some minor shit. The only time I didn't stop was during a blizzard and two people were doing like 55 in a 40mph and both spun out within 1 mile of each other ( no damage they just spun out like assholes)

I do sometimes fear for my own life when first stopping to help someone because you don't know what the fuck could happen. I am in some ways a naive little kid.


How can you assess a situation from your own car to see if a person actually needs help or you are gonna get mugged? I'm usually the one with the bad luck where shit like this happens.

[angel mkiv]

Dam this is pretty deep but true..just got to make your best judgment on if you feel safe doin a favor or not..

[Juantwo3]

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/today_0da3f4_1959258.jpg

lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!