how do you live with

[STL240SX]

Ok a little bckground for you guys, im a cop, yeah yeah i know, anyway, earlier yesterday i  went on a call of domestic disturbence right, nothing abnormal, well things got kinda bad, and i had to shoot a man because he attacked his wife. anyway he died about 3 hours later. i cant describe how i felt when i had to look into his daughters eyes and see them all teary.  how does a person move past this??? HeLp me.

[ded240sxowner]

Hey im sorry man, its unfortunate when some dickhead thinks he is a bigger man for beating up his old lady, and about the kid you probably did her a favor he probably would have beat her too, kinda grim but reality nonetheless

[West]

You did save the wifes life... try not to blame his death on yourself. Its in  no way your fault.

If you would have done nothing would you have reather had the guilt of what would have happened to the wife and possibly her kids?

Our prayers are with ya.

[chickenmanq]

If you had to shoot him, you had to shoot him.  For someone to call on a domestic disturbance, you gotta figure the home life is less than adequate.  You're doing your job.  Don't feel bad about it.  Yeah it sucks the guy had to die, but the fact remains, you felt your life was in danger, so you shot him.  As much as you or I enjoy life, and cherish the ability to breathe, some people just don't have that same appreciation.  In a situation like that, your normal average guy would realize, "Hey, I've got to calm down so I won't get hurt."  If this guy was beating his wife, he doesn't have the ability to get along in society.  And society will be better without him.  As much as his kids are sad now, if it saves them a life of pain, and a mommy with a black eye, clearly, his dying served a purpose.  

[BlankFlip]

as they said already, sorry u had to go through with that. but think of it this way, if he would've lived he could've abused n possibly killed his wife n daughter. by taking one life, u saved 2. now they don't have to live their lives in fear.

[wherezmytofu]

Your a Hero....life with that. their lives where probubly #### and after he got out it probubly would be the same all over again...u ended that cycle...Your a Hero!

[nismo270r]

Hey Bud...I have quite a few friends that are cops, and I understand that shooting someone is the last thing that you want to have to do. I am actually considering entering the law enforcement industry as a career. You just have to sit back and realize that you were doing what was best for the situation. And also, realize that what you did was not a mistake.  You are out there day after day putting your life on the line for everyone in your community, and I have the upmost respect for you and everyone in law enforcement. To serve and protect...and that's exactly what you did.

(Edited by nismo270r at 9<img src="http://www.zilvia.net/f/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'>2 pm on Nov. 8, 2001)

[Zexel]

the way I think of it, is you were just doing your job. &nbsp;I mean sure, he may have died in the hospital 3 hours later like you describe, but once again, you were just doing your job. &nbsp;I mean when someone is speeding and you have to give them a ticket...do you feel bad for doing that? &nbsp;of course not because you just saved a life on the road for someone with reckless driving or speeding (whatever the case may be) and you just saved a life or two from what this man's actions may have been. &nbsp;so like people said, you're the hero. &nbsp;maybe a sad hero, but a hero at that. &nbsp;and you were just doing your job.

[groundzero]

Its not your fault dude...You were just doing your job, your not going to get punished...When cops shoot, they're shoot to kill...Just have a 12 pack of coronas and get drunk...That'll do.

there's crazy people and if you don't get them they will get you....

[misnomer]

His fault, don't hold yourself responsible. There was a better way out of the situation and that guy chose not to take it. As everybody has been saying, by doing your job you've probably saved another's life. Congratulations by the way, law officers tend to get a lot of abuse on this forum, just wanted to say I respect you.

[transient]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Quote: from groundzero on 4:33 pm on Nov. 8, 2001
Its not your fault dude...You were just doing your job, your not going to get punished...When cops shoot, they're shoot to kill...Just have a 12 pack of coronas and get drunk...That'll do.
</td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>

I disagree with the statement about the coronas, that won't help. But you should remember that in a situation like that, you had to make the choice split-second. He knew that there would be consequences for his actions, yet he took them anyway. You did what you had to do. Try not to dwell on it though. (easier said than done, i know) Do something that will take your mind off of it.

[whateverjames]

what did he do that made you shoot him? could you have possibly solved the problem without shooting? i'm not saying 'what did he do to deserve to die' exactly, but basically......how did things get ugly? what was the situation? tell us a little bit of the story, we're all ears.

[drifterx]

hey bro.... i am sorry u had to go through it.... that really sucks u &quot;had&quot; to do it.... notice the word u picked, had....... u had no other chose
u saved someone.... if that was me getting my ass kicked by mark (i know this isnt a time for jokes) but i would like u to shot him too. u didnt mean to kill him.... u shot him cuz u had to.... god &nbsp;chose to take him away....
by the way.... thank u for choosing to be a police officer.... most of u ppl are real heros that have to deal with more things than the average person....... 99% of the time of being a cop is doing nothing, but when that 1% comes then that is when u prove yourself and do your job..... thank all the heros we have

imagine this... what if u didnt show up for all those previous calls (domestic and other stuff) think abt how many people would have gotten hurt or killed if u were not there.....

[drifterx]

also most of u know my story and know that i should have been there for my gf.......
so dont feel bad
u didnt kill someone, u saved a woman and her child
i didnt protect the one i loved, and made a child lose his mother on his bday

[STL240SX]

i appreciate your guys support but i still somehow feel responsible for ending a fathers life, yeah he was an #######, and yes, he did deserve wha he got, but if you would have seen the look in that little girls eyes... it was bad, i mean come on guys im only 23 i have a lot of time left to live my life, and right now im just imagining what if that was my girl, what if i wasnt ever coming home again, ####### or not a father is a father.. and i &nbsp;took that away. But i did want to say that i appreciate your guys help with this. thanks,.

[S13Grl]

I understand how you feel bad about this, and I'm sure you also know that you shouldn't be feeling that way. YOUR life was in danger as well as lives of two other people. It also may not be your fault that he died three hours later; what if he wasn't cared for the right way. Besides, he's better off this way; he would've spent a long time in jail for abuse of his family and attempted murder of a cop. You did the right thing by protecting yourself, don't let it get to you too much. There's only so much you could do when someone is about to hurt/kill you and you're holding a gun.

[wav399]

Hey not to put down anybody's comments on this sad situation but seriously, being a health practitioner, you should get some professional councelling from your department. &nbsp;The doctors &nbsp;there can help you work through this troubling time and come out with a positive outlook. &nbsp;It will help you now and in the future. Good Luck.

[my240likenoother]

</span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td>Quote </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE">Quote: from wav399 on 10:55 pm on Nov. 9, 2001
Hey not to put down anybody's comments on this sad situation but seriously, being a health practitioner, you should get some professional councelling from your department. The doctors there can help you work through this troubling time and come out with a positive outlook. It will help you now and in the future. Good Luck.</td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'>


good point
i would do the same

[Archangel]

That's really hard to deal with, but I agree with everybody else. &nbsp;The look on the little girl's eyes... well she will be better off without him. &nbsp;Not saying her life will be great, but I know people who lost their father early in life, and I know people who were beaten as kids. &nbsp;And those who lost their dad at a young age were alot more normal than those who were abused for years.
If you are having a hard time with it, look into counceling.

There's nothing I can say to make it easier, but remember you did the right thing. &nbsp;And the wife and daughter are better off without him.

nothing to be upset about &nbsp;....... &nbsp;u did the right thing &nbsp;