lying girl friends

[gsracer]

ok guys my girl friend and fiancee of 3 and 1/2 years, and i are having problems. She went to the beach two weeks ago with some of her girl friends for a girls only weekend. I asked before if there where guys going, ( not because im insecure or paranoid , but her friends are total whores) she said no. I talked to here every day while she was there and would throw in the ocasional what are you doing , who is there, what are you guys gonna do? questions, and when she got back i asked her again , and she said again no guys went. So fast forward to last night , i heard from one of my friends who talks to one of her slut friends and she said, that guys went. So i call her and ask her to be upfront with me and if there is anything that i should know about that she has lied to me or kept from me. she says again no, so i told her that i had a source that had told me some information about her. She said like what and i said many things but particurly about the fact that guys went to the beach with you all last weekend. She finally admited it and said they only came for one night and didnt spend the night they left. Which coincides with what i heard, now im thinking take advantage now and ask her if theres any thing else she has lied to me about that i should know, and she says no. So i threaten to go back to my source and ask more questions but she still says there is nothing else she has lied to me about. She insists that she didnt cheat on me , and that she didnt tell me because she was scared i would get mad, oh and by the way all her whore bag friends insist she didnt cheat on me , but what can i do, how do i know she is not lying again, i mean i dont trust the whores anyway, and she is a very good girl she just doesnt have the best character judgement IE she chooses shitty friends. What should i do. :aw: :rl:

[Brian]

hmmm. from your testimonia, i don't think she cheated on you.
i do think it's really shitty that she lied about the guys though.
she seems not mature enough yet.
you are not secure enough yet. if you disagree with me, you are wrong. nothing to be asdhamed about.

trust me i know a lot about having a girlfriend with shitty slutty broads as friends.
my ex was always very honest with me when she went out to clubs or whatever. she would tell me every single time that her friends tried to get her to cheat on me, but she wouldnt. i was glad then, but dont really care now. i could care less what kind of a slut she is now. but this is all off topic.

bottom line, if you cant trust her, then why bother. you need to work on your own self and learn to just trust your female and let her do her thing.

[nokeone]

yup...sounds like you are a little too uptight about it...she obviously was scared youwould get mad...which you are...so that is why she lied to you...if you were chill and laid back about it it would never have been an issue and she would have prolly been up front about it...gotta give a girl her space man...if she's gonna cheat on you or break up with you or whatever there is nothing you can do anyway...no reason to potentially ruin a good relationship by being overbearing...

sum it up: i think you are overreacting...yeah she lied, but i doubt, from what you said, that she cheated on you...she sounds like a good girl who like you said chooses bad friends...cut her some slack..give her some freedom and space...i'd be pissed if my g/f called everyday while i was on vacation wanting to know what i was doing and who i was with...it's like bitch, trust me...and if you don't, you shouldn't be with me...same in your case...if you can't trust her it wont ever work...

my .02

[S14Speed997]

YES is right..........you need to work on yourself first...

but, she DID lie to you, and no relationship can survive if there are lies...You need to make it clear that she needs to be honest, no matter if she thinks it will hurt you...

As far as cheating, don't get ahead of yourself..And I wouldn't have said ANYTHING about your "source", because it makes you sound like your spying on her, AND you blew your cover on learning secret info..lol


How far away was this beach? If it was close, she should have called you when her friends broke the "No guys allowed" rule...and had you come chill...

- Eric

[S14Speed997]

Nokeone is right too.....girls will do what they want, and being paranoid just makes you look like a little b*tch.....

If you need to read some good advice, go to www.askmen.com GREAT SITE!

It covers everything

[mk20116]

unless you have something to fear don't let it get to you.

[gsracer]

i mean im in miami and it was at miami beach, not far at all, she called me alot while she was one her little getaway, it wasnt like i was trying to find out info, its that my friend heard and though it was pertinent for me to know, i didnt even belive it at first , (hear about it on sunday) because i trusted her so much that i didnt even think it was tru that she would lie to me about that. and i said the wrong thing she said she was scared that i would hate her friends (more that i already did) and that i would get mad at them and tell them off or something that is her exact words, but i mean you can imagine what it looks like from this side of the fence, god forbid that i was in a hotel room with my friends and girls show up and i lie about it .

[gsracer]

you know and not even that if she would have called me when the guys showed up and said look these chicks invited guys , i would nt have been mad at all because like i said i trused her but the wholer fact that she kept it from me makes me feel like she has something to hide.

[S14Speed997]

but i mean you can imagine what it looks like from this side of the fence, god forbid that i was in a hotel room with my friends and girls show up and i lie about it .


And that's why it's your decision to trust what she says, and make it clear that you don't hide anything from each other...
OR
you can be suspecting, and keep digging and digging until you know every single detail of the weekend, piss her freinds off, and eventually lose your girlfriend.....

[nokeone]

dude...you need to tell her all that stuff you just wrote here...make her feel totally secure and trusted in the relationship and i promise she will be much more likely to be honest in the future...as long as she knows you are on her side she'll be up front with you...you gotta make her feel safe...and let her know that while you don't really "like" all her friends...you understand that she is not them, she doesn't act like them, she wouldn't do the things they do, and you do respect that they are her friends even if you don't like it...

:)

[S14Speed997]

AMEN brother!

Nokeone said it...just tell her what you wrote, that's from the heart homie :cry: lol

[West]

A successful relationship only works when you have 100% faith in your girlfriend/wife, and vise versa. Therefore she shouldn’t of lied and I think that would make any person jump to conclusions or think the worst. I don’t think she cheated on you but the missing respect she displayed toward you and the relationship by lying is bullshit and needs to be dealt with. If shit like that continuous then misleading feelings will grow into a awkwardness and then to something even worse. Its a 2 way street, if she lies, you may end up lying and the shit cycle continues. What do I say you do? Tell her how you feel, not that you’re jealous or whatever, but that the disrespect /lying has to stop in order for this to work... Hopefully she is flattered by the fact that you suspect something happened while she was out with the skanks. If both of you lose the feeling that one another can be replaced then whets to keep the relationship interesting?

Plus, never trust a "source" for info. Even you best friends are full of bullshit and want to see a friends relationship go down.

[aznpoopy]

what everyone else said + i think this little scenario is indicative of little problems in your relationship that could easily grow into larger ones in the future.

[gsracer]

the most messed up part is if she would have denied it after i confronted her about it , i would have believed her over my friend, and thinking back on that fact it makes me feel naive, not to mention stupid, i tell you lots of fucked up feelings right now.

[CoasTek240]

look, from what i read: go with it this time, trust her. let it go. it would be the best thing to do. nothing but bad comes from trying to investigate. and its not worth it unless this isnt the first time it has happened.

[old_s13]

learn the famous sayings bro:

a) show me your friends and I will tell you who you are
b) you cant turn a hoe into a house wife

I am not saying that these are 100% true and that your girl is a skeeze.. but its something to consider brotha.

Trust isnt something you drill people on. I dont trust people if I have to call them to "check up" on them, I dont play daddy -- when I get a girlfriend (as rare as that is), I make sure to go out with girls that are confident and independent -- they are cool doing whatever they do and I dont care if they are with guys or girls, as long as there isnt a gangbang going on (without me of course), then I am cool.

What if there were guys there and she was only talking, does that bother you? What if a guy gave her a massage, is that the end of the world? What if there were no guys and it was just her friends. I mean, there's much more important shit to worry about than petty shit like this. All YOU have to do in a relationship is be a trustworthy, honest individual -- and be sure to give her.. THE DICK.. and you'll be fine. Its those who dont pay attention to their women, dont trust them, lie to them and DONT give them THE DICK -- thats when they cheat.

- Mike