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View Full Version : FL The greatest Nissan Maxima of all time. Look no further!


PSI240SX
11-27-2012, 09:19 PM
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

Are you ready to own the most unique, one of a kind, not like the millions out there on the road today, badassest Maxima on the planet!??? Well look no further. I give you the 8th wonder of the world, the Gluteous Maximas!

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/MaximaF.sized.jpg

I know what you're thinking.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/OMGOOh1.gif

Thats right folks, here is your one and only chance to own a 97 Nissan Maxima with only 235,000 Miles! Its just barely broken in! It has some incredibly amazing features, such as: The power windows all work all of the time, except for the RR which works when it wants to. The sunroof is totally awesome, until you try to use it, and then it kinda sucks, so DONT USE IT. The BOSE stereo sounds amazing! Until speakers start cutting in and out, then you wiggle the volume knob, and it sounds a amazing again. Presets 2,4,5 & 6 are usable, 1&3 are not because I don't like odd numbers below 5 so I shot them with a gun like Elvis, who by the way, has *actually driven this Maxima!

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/Elvis.sized.jpg

The rear spoiler was far too weak for a car this manly, so it broke off. I could have replaced it with another black one like any normal rational person, but instead I chose this amazing, fantastical pearly white one because it's CUSTOM, and the only color I could find when I went to the junkyard.

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220037.sized.jpg

Although the 97 Maxima was aesthetical perfection, I thought the factory body lines could use some expert "tweaking" so I ran it into a couple of things at low speed.

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220036.sized.jpg

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220039.sized.jpg

This car is so manly, and has so much testosterone, that the Antenna is permanently ERECT. Although if you play with it too much, you will go blind, or so my mother tells me.

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220040_1.sized.jpg

It has Chrome tint on the two rear door windows, and the back window, and just because I'm such a nice guy, I left the glue on the passenger front window, after the tint fell off. You're welcome.

It has heated Leather seats, to pre-heat your cheeks so that your lover doesnt think they are touching a zombie, because then they might chop your head off.

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220043.sized.jpg

The AC will turn your nipples into Titanium, thanks to a brand new OEM AC Compressor. It used to leak oil from pretty much everywhere, but now it just leaks from almost nowhere. It has a couple new front wheel bearings, because I hear that those are kind of important. It has new mismatched tires, but only because I almost died with bald ones. This Maxima will leave you more satisfied than your last 4 sexual encounters, **guaranteed.

I will leave the box of tissues in the passenger floorboard, because your sexual organs will explode after just one testdrive.

http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/PB220042.sized.jpg


I have tried my best to put into words and pictures, just how awesome this car is, but alas I may have failed. So there is just one more feature I will share with you. I was going to keep it a secret, but I just can't keep it inside anymore. It can fly. Yes, you read correctly. ***IT CAN FLY. Don't believe me huh? Ye of little faith, rest your eyes on THIS!:


http://www.southeast-performance.com/gallery/albums/album64/Dukes.sized.jpg



I am a professional BADASS, please do not attempt the flying feature until you have logged atleast another 235,000 miles, which this awesome machine will easily do. This car should easily sell for a couple of hundred grand, but I am super wealthy, and powerful, so I feel as if $2400 is a great deal for you to own this much awesome. If you disagree, and want to haggle a little bit, Call or text 407-283-7535. It is located near Clarcona Ocoee road and 441 (OBT) in North Orlando.

Lie table:
*elvis could not have actually driven this, he died before it was made.

**there is no guarantee of any kind.

***it cannot fly.

Jtuned_andy
11-27-2012, 09:36 PM
flawless victory

dizzariot
11-27-2012, 09:38 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha this is the best fucking ad of all time! I'm crying with my gf reading this...she now wants your kids and not mine!

240o'clock
11-27-2012, 09:39 PM
I will buy your car since you put so much effort in this thread !!!

All threads should be like this lmao

JetS500
11-27-2012, 09:55 PM
im crying.. this is too great

future
11-27-2012, 09:58 PM
I couldn't read all that, too much. But you won for this ad

itslehcim
11-27-2012, 10:01 PM
This definitely gets a bump. Hilarious.

va240dude
11-27-2012, 10:04 PM
Haha this awesome! Maxima FTW! Good luck with selling the worlds eighth wonder!

romero8287
11-27-2012, 10:06 PM
LMAO!!!! Free bump!!!

Turbotime05
11-27-2012, 10:13 PM
Wow dont ever take this down lol... Epic.

nujabe
11-27-2012, 10:31 PM
Best for sale thread I've ever seen.. I cryed sir..

nickgbmx
11-27-2012, 11:21 PM
Bump for a lame car and a badass ad haha

iRONDONkey
11-27-2012, 11:22 PM
great thread.

im printing it out now

i will be reading this to my grandchildren.

lscustoms
11-27-2012, 11:25 PM
Hahahaha best thread bump for you my good sir

Juantwo3
11-27-2012, 11:30 PM
OMG ITS 5 LUG!!!!

my coupe isnt even 5 lug!!!!!!!!!!!!

sammyswag
11-27-2012, 11:52 PM
the funniest ad that I ever read))

Mustache240
11-28-2012, 12:22 AM
awesome haha had me rollin! glws!

K0ukiM0n5ter
11-28-2012, 12:32 AM
I died reading this LOL

tqstarburst
11-28-2012, 12:32 AM
LMAO!! You should join the marketing field, you'll be a fucking badass!! Free bump for making my ass laugh.

keegans13
11-28-2012, 01:35 AM
I wish most people would put this much effort into their ads!

1llest13
11-28-2012, 01:47 AM
I haven't signed on zilvia for months until someone posted this on facebook, so I'm on just to bump your thread. Best for sell thread ever! congratulation sir well done.

PSI240SX
11-28-2012, 05:12 AM
Haha thanks. Btw, it's also a time machine, but if you want to see how that works, you will have to meet me at my house last Wednesday.

Purestock240
11-28-2012, 06:25 AM
Ever since the first ad on Craigslist like this there hasn't been another original one.
Congrats on coming very close this was actually a really good one.

babyjesus
11-28-2012, 07:03 AM
this maxima is indeed the greatest.

EsChassisLove
11-28-2012, 07:15 AM
I'll give you $3000 just cuz the ad is hilarious lawl

turbo2nr
11-28-2012, 07:16 AM
LMAAOOOO awesome ad ! i read the whole thing in "ricky bobby" voice lol

thatnismoguy
11-28-2012, 09:05 AM
LMAO! You sir, have made my morning. Now I must jump in my E55, wishing I was in your Maxima, and head to work. EPIC FS THREAD.

digitalightkenz
11-28-2012, 09:13 AM
Epic af win

nu_born
11-28-2012, 09:28 AM
I don't even...that was so fuckin'...bump, just bump dude, that was great I don't know what the hell to say...

spooled240
11-28-2012, 09:42 AM
bump for an awesome ad LOL

Stayabovethelaw
11-28-2012, 09:51 AM
Hahaha funny ass ad

xBtony
11-28-2012, 11:40 AM
You win. Fucking awesome haha

drscooper
11-28-2012, 12:51 PM
stupid addd....... notttt lol free bump

jdmlivin
11-28-2012, 12:56 PM
LMFAO!!!!!!!

Legit GLWS

hohnadell11
11-28-2012, 01:01 PM
Bump for a fucking hilarious ad and being a local lmao

theevoxfreak
11-28-2012, 01:24 PM
http://zilvia.net/f/cars-sale/490061-ams-built-evo-x-400-awhp-24-5k-obo.html
straight trade for 2008 evo x?

Knuckshaft
11-28-2012, 05:55 PM
http://zilvia.net/f/cars-sale/490061-ams-built-evo-x-400-awhp-24-5k-obo.html
straight trade for 2008 evo x?

I don't know man, how much cash can you add on top?!

NotLowEnough
11-28-2012, 06:18 PM
very nice sir i loved this!

BoostWanted
11-28-2012, 11:17 PM
LMAO. Hilarious. I cried. Good shit man. Good luck with selling. Hope the next owner deserves this car as much as you and elvis.

325iturned240
11-29-2012, 11:41 AM
hahahahaha this absolutely made my morning. glws

psychos13
11-30-2012, 07:45 PM
lmfao!! win!

NewS13Guy
12-08-2012, 07:02 PM
Epicness!!!!!!! Im dying over here!!!

GuardianLlama
12-08-2012, 08:50 PM
FREE BUMP!! HAHA I hope you can sell it instead of just getting a ton of bumps lol.

Sent from my HTC Rezound

bonsai4youbyken
12-09-2012, 01:44 AM
you sir get a free bump from me....I WANNA SEE YOUR VERSION OF THIS

v
best of craigslist: 1995 Pontiac Grand AM (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/2979885438.html)

Mofuhcka
12-09-2012, 11:04 AM
Lolololol holy fuck

904GirlN305
12-12-2012, 02:28 PM
Haha thanks. Btw, it's also a time machine, but if you want to see how that works, you will have to meet me at my house last Wednesday.

Oh God. I'm at work, but this one put me over the edge. Couldn't contain myself. I know that one guys girlfriend is having your babies, but can I have some too?

PSI240SX
12-12-2012, 02:34 PM
Oh God. I'm at work, but this one put me over the edge. Couldn't contain myself. I know that one guys girlfriend is having your babies, but can I have some too?

Oh yes my little lady, stop on through Orlando between travels to and fro Miami, and I will happily impregnate you. I'm a very fertile individual. Babies for all!

904GirlN305
12-12-2012, 02:37 PM
Yaaaay. It's like Christmas! Perfect I live in Orlando!

PSI240SX
12-12-2012, 02:44 PM
Stop by. Bring me a small goat, some knee-high golashes, and lots of 30 weight oil.

904GirlN305
12-12-2012, 03:01 PM
:ugh:
running

PSI240SX
12-12-2012, 03:04 PM
:ugh:
running

Haha too much?

Scoutracer
12-12-2012, 03:05 PM
Free bump. Awesome add. GLWS

s13mikesr20
12-12-2012, 03:35 PM
Very funny please make a add for parts lol

F.Pack#5
12-16-2012, 09:52 PM
:bowdown:.

ragnarok
12-16-2012, 10:55 PM
This still for sale? Great post nonetheless! Good luck with sale

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2

PSI240SX
12-17-2012, 10:08 AM
Yes, it would seem that no one is quite manly enough to step up and purchase this mean machine. For now it is just guarding my house from its gold plated, jewel encrusted parking space.

95s14silvia
12-17-2012, 02:00 PM
Free bump this shits awesome! Youd kill in marketing!

godrifttoday
12-17-2012, 02:22 PM
Epic.........

ov1989
12-19-2012, 09:42 AM
Amazing for sale thread lolol! Free bump

backalleyracer
12-20-2012, 05:49 AM
pure win - well done sir

WanganNastyMachine
12-20-2012, 09:37 AM
I have to hand it to you, that was simply amazing. LOL! So many free bumps, you just became a cool cat on Zilvia.

Somebody pay for this guys Premium Membership!

Nismo11
12-20-2012, 11:15 AM
lmao!!!! glws

Hatemy7
12-20-2012, 01:28 PM
lmfao fucking win!!

Gizmo_S13
01-17-2013, 12:11 AM
Take my money!!!

PSI240SX
01-29-2013, 01:52 PM
Lowered price to 2100! Starting to get some calls and texts, but no one has been man enough to step up and grab the reins of the Almighty Zeus of Maxima's. Listen to your loins crying out for satisfaction! The only thing that can quench the insatiable thirst of that lust is this automobile. Give in to your desires and call me today.

ng26
01-29-2013, 02:10 PM
bump for you, because you are awesome!

Swagless
01-29-2013, 04:49 PM
best ad ever bump

StayClassy94
01-29-2013, 05:47 PM
lololol whatta bad ass! Congrats sir, I believe you have made thousands of people on zilvia cry their asses off! Amazing F/S Ad! GLWS!

BURSTspeed
01-29-2013, 05:56 PM
made me laugh

Jfitzg38
01-29-2013, 05:57 PM
God damn hilarious

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

SSCACAHUATES
01-29-2013, 06:29 PM
I peed myself laughing so hard, this will stay on the first page until it sells..... BUMP ......

smith988
01-29-2013, 06:45 PM
well played

Phaz3r.
01-29-2013, 06:47 PM
sticky this!

B-Rod15
01-29-2013, 06:51 PM
made my boring ass poly sci class better haha

skimmpysb
01-31-2013, 11:02 AM
Im crying. Glws.

Bushido
01-31-2013, 11:35 AM
is this sold yet?

PSI240SX
01-31-2013, 12:27 PM
Nope! One girly man showed up for a test drive but he broke his wrist trying to shift out of park. If you do not have great tufts of chest hair, this is not the car for you. Manscapers need not apply.