coupe92
01-24-2012, 05:13 PM
So I'm just a mere 17 year old who works at a hellhole known as mcdonalds, making 6$ an hour. So yoday, 1700 miles after turboing the ka in my 240, i finally got the motivation to do a long due oil change. I go to oreiley's and pick up a $35 4qt tub of royal purple, and a wix filter. 45 dollars spent, cool. Fast forward through some hellish traffic, I get home to my house, pull in, and jack the car up a bit.
I finish draining the oil, and then begin the god awful task of removing the oil filter. I couldn't figure out how in the hell to get the piece of shit to grip the damn thing so I stabbed the fucker with philip the screwdriver. That works! Only problem was the resulting hole squirted black ass oil all over my white engine bay. Yay, so far so good! After twisting the wix on, I begin the most exciting (fuck my fucking life) of this extremely fundamental process!
I grab a funnel, proceed to poor a good 2 qts of this liquid gold into my engine, and check my dipstick. Hmmmm, now why ia nothing showig up? Of course! 2 qts isn't enough! More more more! I poor another quart before i nearly shit myself. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I dive below my car, realise that the drain plug is sittin on the shelf. I jump up, grab it, and shove the fucker in there and grab the closest socket wrench available with a 13 mm on it. Now i realise the car is slightly too low to turn the wrench with an extension, so what do I do? Twist the shit out of it so it clears the floor of course! Oh boy the fucking god damn motherfucking shitbag oil pan holr has been stripped. The plug wont stay in now worth a shit, I'm fucked in the ass. Now i get to let go, watch my liquid gold drain right in front of my eyes, and no, i cant save it. 2 qts went in a drain pan mixed with my old nappy ass oil, 1 went on the garage floor, and the limited remnents are now sorrowly seaping onto the floor. Fuck iy, NOW IM REALLY PISSED. i grab a 2x4 and ealk out of my garage. (I have a few skateboard ramps made of plastic, skatinh is fun) I slam that 2x4 on the ground as hard as I can trying to get my $35 dollars worth of pissed out of my system. Well as fate would have it, that let a good 25 cents out. I proceded to jump on my liytle kicker ramp til a giant hole developed and it was rendered useless. I then. Grabbed a cinderblock and chucked that fucker so hard that it busted like 4 holes in my quarter pipe. That wasn't enough, so I grabbed a hammer, threw it on the ground so the head flew off it, leaving only splintered wood. Then i found a sledge hammer and beat the living hell Out of the quarter pipe again, leaving roughly 5-6 gaping holes. The only thing that ended my rampage was the head flying off the sledgehammer and my mom opening the garage door. "What the hell are you doing!?". I chucked the remaining splintered wood handle to my side and just walked away. I have since made my way to my room, and onto my ipod where I am typing this from. My mom is pissed now, I'm pissed even more, and my stupid think-I'm-a-badass-cause-i-sometimes-drink underage ass is going to drink the remaining vodka out of this coke bottle I have hidden, get a buzz, and crank my stereo to some negro rap, and hopefully fall asleep and get over it tomorrow.
I guess post your stories of when your car pissed you off or something.
I finish draining the oil, and then begin the god awful task of removing the oil filter. I couldn't figure out how in the hell to get the piece of shit to grip the damn thing so I stabbed the fucker with philip the screwdriver. That works! Only problem was the resulting hole squirted black ass oil all over my white engine bay. Yay, so far so good! After twisting the wix on, I begin the most exciting (fuck my fucking life) of this extremely fundamental process!
I grab a funnel, proceed to poor a good 2 qts of this liquid gold into my engine, and check my dipstick. Hmmmm, now why ia nothing showig up? Of course! 2 qts isn't enough! More more more! I poor another quart before i nearly shit myself. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I dive below my car, realise that the drain plug is sittin on the shelf. I jump up, grab it, and shove the fucker in there and grab the closest socket wrench available with a 13 mm on it. Now i realise the car is slightly too low to turn the wrench with an extension, so what do I do? Twist the shit out of it so it clears the floor of course! Oh boy the fucking god damn motherfucking shitbag oil pan holr has been stripped. The plug wont stay in now worth a shit, I'm fucked in the ass. Now i get to let go, watch my liquid gold drain right in front of my eyes, and no, i cant save it. 2 qts went in a drain pan mixed with my old nappy ass oil, 1 went on the garage floor, and the limited remnents are now sorrowly seaping onto the floor. Fuck iy, NOW IM REALLY PISSED. i grab a 2x4 and ealk out of my garage. (I have a few skateboard ramps made of plastic, skatinh is fun) I slam that 2x4 on the ground as hard as I can trying to get my $35 dollars worth of pissed out of my system. Well as fate would have it, that let a good 25 cents out. I proceded to jump on my liytle kicker ramp til a giant hole developed and it was rendered useless. I then. Grabbed a cinderblock and chucked that fucker so hard that it busted like 4 holes in my quarter pipe. That wasn't enough, so I grabbed a hammer, threw it on the ground so the head flew off it, leaving only splintered wood. Then i found a sledge hammer and beat the living hell Out of the quarter pipe again, leaving roughly 5-6 gaping holes. The only thing that ended my rampage was the head flying off the sledgehammer and my mom opening the garage door. "What the hell are you doing!?". I chucked the remaining splintered wood handle to my side and just walked away. I have since made my way to my room, and onto my ipod where I am typing this from. My mom is pissed now, I'm pissed even more, and my stupid think-I'm-a-badass-cause-i-sometimes-drink underage ass is going to drink the remaining vodka out of this coke bottle I have hidden, get a buzz, and crank my stereo to some negro rap, and hopefully fall asleep and get over it tomorrow.
I guess post your stories of when your car pissed you off or something.