Probs with the girlfriend

[aerogalla]

Let's see...After about 26 months of being together, we decided to go on a break tonight. I can't deny that it hasn't been on my mind for a couple of weeks. I finally decided to talk to her today and she says that she noticed me treating her differently lately. It's not really my intention to do so, but I guess that's how I felt. Don't get me wrong or anything, I love her a lot and she means everything to me.

So I talked to her about it and she says she started to feel the same way, mainly because I started to treat her different. I thought I would feel okay with us breaking up, but apparently not. As I confessed to her, I had that feeling inside my neck. You guys know what I am talking about? That sad feeling where you kind of feel like you are about to cry? Yeah, I had that feeling. Our relationship really did change. Even one of her friends noticed it.

So in my opinion, there is really no such thing as a "break". That's just the nicer way of saying that it's a break up. After that was decided, I admit, I was crying. We're both not sure if it's temporary or permanent. I'll admit, it'd kill me to see her with another guy, though. Don't really know what to do. Just sitting here listening to the Initial D song. It sounds depressing as hell. It fits my mood perfectly.

Yeah, so thanks for reading my stupid rant. Just had to get it out somehow.

[goodjuan]

Hey, just make sure you're being completely honest at every possible moment.

Drop all pride...there's no room for bs like that in love.

once you do all that...things should work themselves out. If you really care, she'll know it.

not sure if that helps....

[aerogalla]

I don't know...I always had this feeling in the back of my head that she liked someone else. I finally asked her and she said maybe...she doesn't know. That pretty much means yes. Sigh, sucks for me huh? :wtc:

[boro240]

yeah thats how i see it. going on a "break" is the pussy way of saying you want to break up.

[old_s13]

Hey Aerogalla, I have some wonderful advice for you..

..QUIT BEING A PUSSY.

If you love this woman, tell her you love her. If she doesnt love you back "because you are acting differently" then she really doesnt love you, does she? Whatever happened to loving someone UNCONDITIONALLY? Last I checked, true couples stay together through anything.. whether its war, sickness, or famine. A relationship is like a boat in the ocean, its all great when the waters are calm. When the times get tough and the sea gets rough, true love is the only power that will lift the boat back up. A wise man once told me, he said "Mike, you gotta play ruff to get the muff."

You're probably young so this is effecting you more than it should, but thats okay.. because you'll learn from this fine experience. Dont feel bad, today you only have 2 posts on Zilvia.. tomorrow it will be 4 or 5, then 10, then 20.. soon enough, you will be a true loser like the rest of us with hundreds or even thousands of aimless posts! Feel proud and stand tall knowing that you are contributing to the massive amount of nonsense being discussed at Zilvia!

Remember, you are a man.. you shouldnt have to worry about relationship drama, thats for women. While it is normal to cry and have all those emotions, dont let them take control over your life for too long. You have to think about yourself and your future, because afterall.. at your age you should have NO ONE to worry about other than yourself and your close ones.

- Dr M

[mibre]

Sorry to hear that... There isn't much anyone can do or say to make you happy in these kinds of situation, and I would know this as a fact. But in the end everything will turn out ok even if this doesn't cause Life sucks as much as love does... I've been in your shoe's more times then I really want to remember. And I've survived these while thinking I could never find someone else. It's like the way I look at things now. Everything happens for a reason, there's nothing anyone can really do to stop good or bad things to happen. What you have to do now is, Put yourself first in your book and try to make your self happy, Don't try to make other ppl happy. If you and your Gf are met to be together it will happen.

The only edvice I can tell you is to tell her that you love her and that you want her to be happy with or with out you. More times then none they'll walk away but when they see what they let go they'll return. I've always gone a secound round with most of my gf's. And more times then none I notice I don't really want to be with them cause all I really wanted was someone there with me telling me they are there for me.

Hope everything turns out the way you want too. but if you 2 don't get back together. remember There's alot more women out there and if your young. Injoy it cause life is short, don't be stressed out about any little things like this.

Mibre

[aerogalla]

you guys are awesome :bowdown:

[mibre]

No prob man... You just got to make sure these things don't get to you... I have so many story's that would maybe give exemples of what can happen but I'm sure nobody wants to hear them.

mibre

PS. don't stress over it... it could be much worst...

[f2a4s0t]

:wtc: the sensitive underbelly of zilvia makes me cry. j/k good luck with your girl

[SimpleS14]

Realize what you've done wrong and how you were treating her differently. Show her the guy she feel for some 12 months back (or sooner than that). I have a strong feeling you guys are going to get back together, however depending on how YOU handle the situation will determine if you guys can make it last. Your young (i think) so I would explore my opinions if I were you. Yes it would suck to see her with another guy...but if you bang that right girl you won't give a fuck. :p

note: when I say "bang" I'm not referring to sex. :bow:

[Nissan240SX]

I have been in sorta the same situation as you are you in. Only difference is the girl was living with me and when i went out of town with my college athletics team she had left the house that we were living in with my parents. (long story) Dwelling on the past isn't going to help. And by that I mean trying to think about what you did that was wrong is not going to help. I am sure she has told you how you were treating her differently. So take some time and think about that. After that go to her and tell her from you heart how you feel. This is one of those times as a man that its ok to use emotions to tell the story. For that matter emotions are an everyday part of life and sometimes you just have to let it be known how you are feeling even though others may not think its manly to be emotional. Well the way I look at it showing your emotions is how it should be no shame in showing true feelings. As the others have said tell her how you feel, don't hide the feeligs and don't make light of them. Good luck. and have a safe holiday.

Chris

[S13SilviaGirl]

Hey, here is a girls perspective. While yes women do want a sensitive guy, we also want a guy that is a man in how he handles situations. Give yourself a week or two, straighten yourself out. Think about what you really want. Talk to her. As far as her liking someone else, she probably just likes the attention that someone else is paying her...and your not. Soooo, how do you change that? Easy. Treat her like you did when you first met her...and continue it. Be romantic, be spontaneous, be caring. Don't blow her off to go to a car get to gether...take her. Then, after she puts up with the whole car thing, take her to a nice dinner. She gives, you give. That is, if you decide you don't want to loose her. If you decide that you do want to end it, talk to her...you both deserve a chance at being friends right? Talking about why you broke up is a good way to prevent this from happening in the future with some other relationship. Well, hope my .02 helped...

Dr. M's resident trainee.:D

[fliprayzin240sx]

Awww i wuv you guys *not in that gay kinda way* Im jes saying that cuz if this was some other forums...peeps would have been flaming this post by now. Things like this makes me feel like the 240sx community is one big happy family. :D :bowdown: :cry:

[old_s13]

Originally posted by S13SilviaGirl
Hey, here is a girls perspective. While yes women do want a sensitive guy, we also want a guy that is a man in how he handles situations. Give yourself a week or two, straighten yourself out. Think about what you really want. Talk to her.

Dr. M's resident trainee.:D

Yes, and one thing my trainee forgot to mention.. is one of the other things women want.

One she understands that you love her, it would be wise to put on an R Kelly CD, light up some candles..

AND PEE ON HER.

I mean, what BETTER way to show someone you love them, than to give them a golden shower? It works for R Kelly, it can work for you. I consulted with Kobe when his wife found out about the other girl, he peed on his wife and it was ALL good.

hahahahah

-m

[fastpace]

I went through the same crap you went through in the beginning of the summer. I felt like crap for about two months, because I worked with the girl and saw her almost everyday. It really sucked. I told her how I felt about her and that was all I could have done, after a while I realize that I am better than that and now I don't really give a sh!t about girls much. My friends helped me though this situation and now I put myself first and don't let a girl get me down. Also, you should try going to this site:

www.askmen.com.

great site and will give you confidence in yourself

[Brian]

if you 2 were meant to be together, then you will get back.
if you weren't, you will find somebody else. i was pretty much in the same situation as you about a month ago. i had been feeling kinda bad about the relationship for a good month or two and finally i just said we need to take a break, and then as we were talking about it i realized we neede dto just break up all together. she was wrong for me. i did miss her for sure, but its better now. i am much happier now that i dont have the added stress of a relationship to deal with.
a word of advice, dont try to look for a relationship, rather, let a relationship form out of something.

[aerogalla]

Originally posted by S13SilviaGirl
Hey, here is a girls perspective. While yes women do want a sensitive guy, we also want a guy that is a man in how he handles situations. Give yourself a week or two, straighten yourself out. Think about what you really want. Talk to her. As far as her liking someone else, she probably just likes the attention that someone else is paying her...and your not. Soooo, how do you change that? Easy. Treat her like you did when you first met her...and continue it. Be romantic, be spontaneous, be caring. Don't blow her off to go to a car get to gether...take her. Then, after she puts up with the whole car thing, take her to a nice dinner. She gives, you give. That is, if you decide you don't want to loose her. If you decide that you do want to end it, talk to her...you both deserve a chance at being friends right? Talking about why you broke up is a good way to prevent this from happening in the future with some other relationship. Well, hope my .02 helped...

Dr. M's resident trainee.:D

Thanks a lot !

[aerogalla]

Thanks a lot guys...It's nice to know that some poeple out there can relate:)

[camppain]

Bah im in the same boat as you man only with my fiance. We've been apart more than we have been together. Of course it's mainly due to the Marine Corps. I finally felt weirded out last night. Like what if we have been rushing as far as getting married. it didnt bother her that i talked like that which was cool. I love my fiance and I don't want to hurt her. I have just been thinking about the "what ifs" What if we didnt get along, what if we did, what if etc etc. all the infinate possibilities.

sucks I know I'm in the same boat. We've only been together for 11 months though. So sometimes i do think its rushing, sometimes i feel Like I'm to young, That I'll change alot more with me experiencing new stuff everyday. I just don't know.

Plain and simple it sucks. And I don't mean to hijack your thread for answers and etc, just felt like chiming in and letting you know your not alone bud :bash:

[aerogalla]

Originally posted by camppain
Bah im in the same boat as you man only with my fiance. We've been apart more than we have been together. Of course it's mainly due to the Marine Corps. I finally felt weirded out last night. Like what if we have been rushing as far as getting married. it didnt bother her that i talked like that which was cool. I love my fiance and I don't want to hurt her. I have just been thinking about the "what ifs" What if we didnt get along, what if we did, what if etc etc. all the infinate possibilities.

sucks I know I'm in the same boat. We've only been together for 11 months though. So sometimes i do think its rushing, sometimes i feel Like I'm to young, That I'll change alot more with me experiencing new stuff everyday. I just don't know.

Plain and simple it sucks. And I don't mean to hijack your thread for answers and etc, just felt like chiming in and letting you know your not alone bud :bash:

No problem! I hope everything works out well for the both of us! :kiss:

[S13Grl]

just go with your gut feeling. One of the reasons why West and I never fight is because we talk about things and take time to look at things from each others perspectives before we make conclusions and throw words at each other. You can also weigh things out, what's great about her? what's not so great about her? Make your decision to talk to her according to that. Depending on her personality, you might not want to wait. She may be angry and sad, and sometimes, that escalates with time. You know her best. So, all in all, do what your gut tells you to do. I guess that's what my best advice would be.

Good luck, man.

[CreAziaN]

I hope everything turns out okay

[HiPSI]

my adive:

start dumping every dime and all of your time into the car. before long you'll have a car you're proud as hell of and you won't even remember her;)

[aerogalla]

I talked to her today and it seems that getting back together is not her choice. That's life, right?

:( :wtc: :-/

[old_s13]

Congratulations, you're single. :)

[BadMoJo]

Just Put it in Da Butt! :boink:









j/k I didnt really read the thread but I hope it turns out ok bro. :D

*edit* Ok, just read most of it.... Sorry to hear, but hey.... now your FREE. :cool:

[ridebmx]

my personal opinion on the matter of relationships, no matter how much you love someone, if it doesnt work, there is always someone else. and thats just how it is, and more times then none you find someone better suited for you, with each failed relationship you see what kinda of qualitys you do and dont want in a girlfriend/wife/partner, whatever the case may be. Thus when you do move on and forget about the other girl and get a new relationship, its better. Plus, when u do find a new relationship, the intial feeling of euphoria is SWEET, that feeling like after 1 month u wanna get married or whatever, but you know that that "new" feeling passes, so u dont propose, haha. I believe relationships only last with work, if the members in the relationship stop putting in effort, its gonna fail, no matter how much love there is. Thats just the way i see it, and then when i faills apart find someone better, someone different, someone better suited for you. Dont know how much any of that shit helps, but thats my outlook after many failed relationships. I think we have all been in your shoes at one time or another, and some more than others. good luck