losing someone you love

[180sExy]

I am 29 years old an NEVER had to deal with the reality of death in my life. 29 years an I have lived a awesome life with my loved ones. But on mothers day my grandmother suffered a major stroke. I'm not saying I am a huge all American kick ass Chuck Noris kinda guy, but I'm not really a big cry baby. I don't really express feelings well, in fact that cost me a few gf's in the past. But I am watching the lady that helped raise me die. Death has always scared the living shit out of me an I'm watching her experiance it now an I'm numb. It's like I dont know what I should feel. I mean I know what I should feel sadness but I dont know how to express it. It's like if I cry i think I'm over doing it or I dont want people to think I'm looking for the sympothy. I find my self crying every now an then it's like it comes an it goes but I don't know. Just confused anyone wanna shed some insight.

[I LUV MY S13]

i know EXACTLY how you feel, i watched my grandmother suffer from alzheimers for almost 10years..she was a really big part of my life and of who i am today..most of my childhood memories are with her or are involved with her in some sort of way..shit to this day im not really over it, i didnt cry at her funeral or much after..i go twice a month to her grave and ball like a bitch, i never go with my family on mothers day or her b-day to pay a visit..kinda something i do on my own

all i can say is treasure your last moments with her, have convos with her(if shes capable)..time heals everything man...good luck

[shiftdrift]

yeah man, I know how you feel. I lost my dad to a heart attack when I was 13 and I cried everyday for about 2 weeks. I just had to learn to accept death is part of life and to cope with it the best I could, from time to time I think about him and get teary eyed but you just have to be strong and accept that it's part of it. Everyone eventually dies. I've also lost a grandma, and a grandpa within the last 3 years.

[Walperstyle]

Lost my father last year to lung cancer. It happens dude, gotta keep on moving.

[DALAZ_68]

lost my grandfather last year...its not easy, u just have to think of all the good...sounds cliche, but, it works...your lucky, ur get to be with her in her final time...me, i was a complete country away from my grandfather...

[drift freaq]

What you are experiencing on the emotional front is not uncommon. I watched my mom die of Cancer. By the time she died I had traveled through the emotional side.

I will still think of her from time to time and possibly feel like crying.

If and when you do let it happen. Its natural and there is nothing wrong with it.

Bullshit we are taught as kids like men don't cry is bullshit. Men cry when need be. I watched my father cry when he lost his sisters and my favorite uncle.

As you get older this stuff will happen more often. I lost one of my best friends to a motorcycle accident rather abruptly. It sucked hard.
You have a chance to say goodbye to her and to make her proud of you. I suggest you do that and be there as much as you can.

Oh and sometimes people live for quite awhile after strokes, so do not dismiss her that quickly.

[D.Adams]

Its shity man. Death is a hard thing to get use to and most will never. I had a good friend die of a massive coronary embolism while we were watching TV in the living room of our house. Wasn’t hard for me to deal with till I went to his wake. After that I was a wreck for weeks. Just seeing all the friends and family and the pics and video of him made me realize he was gone.

I’m sorry for what you are going through. Try to be alone with her and express your feelings to her that might help. It’s not a bad thing to cry man when you’re about to lose or have lost someone you love.

[treken2t87]

It's been over a year and a half and it's still hard to accept my sister's death. That was the first time I had ever had to deal with death of any sort, and I also lost one of my best friends about 6 months ater that.

One thing death teaches us (especially unexpected death) is how fragile life really is and how much we should enjoy it. I think it's only natural to be down after somebody close passes, but that pain will get better over time.

Just cherish the good times you had with them and try to live your life making them proud, and channel any negative energy towards bettering yourself. Hold your head up high.

[ManoNegra]

OP - I sympathize, been and still am there
I usually refrain from these type of threads but
tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother's death from cancer.
Also father suffered a major stroke a few years back that he is still struggling with.
If anything, all these things have made me a better man
it's not easy but it gets better with time, hang in there.

[HyperTek]

yo man, im 26, my mom is 60 and just had a stroke friday night. She was at her shop working with a client, she thought it was nothing and tried to wait it out, luckily the client realized something was wrong and called the ambulance. im soo thankful that someone was there, had she been by herself, it could have been worse.

She is currently in the hospital, she cant move her left arm or leg. had 4 ct scans so far.. its going to take time to recover. she may have to go straight to a rehabilitaion center after she is discharged from the hospital, so might be a few weeks til she can come home. I am watching over her shop right now, while finishing up my last month of school *im a lil behind in school too so im kinda bummed that i wont be able to catch up on it*. I think we want to sell her shop since its gonna be hard.

So yeah dude your not the only one facing a tough time right now, just gotta pray and keep her spirit up. Visiting my mom in the hospital seeing her laying in the bed with a bunch of tubes in her is the worst feeling I have ever had. esp when I need her soo much *im still living at home trying to get my act together*

I been visiting her everyday. Running her shop *which i dont expect to make any money, so gas money is out of my pocket and i dont have any income*. Just gonna have to do it. And there is this girl im trying to get at, i cant help but think that while im gone, someone else might scoop her up.

and im trying to get ahold of my older half brother who we havent heard from in 7 years, it would cheer her up, she crys when she thinks about him and i cant stand to see her cry like that.

[zylvia213]

i know EXACTLY how you feel, i watched my grandmother suffer from alzheimers for almost 10years..she was a really big part of my life and of who i am today..most of my childhood memories are with her or are involved with her in some sort of way..shit to this day im not really over it, i didnt cry at her funeral or much after..i go twice a month to her grave and ball like a bitch, i never go with my family on mothers day or her b-day to pay a visit..kinda something i do on my own

all i can say is treasure your last moments with her, have convos with her(if shes capable)..time heals everything man...good luck

Amen to that... havent had a really close family member pass away but my great grandma is getting close to that time and I wonder how im going to take when the time comes... Time heals bro.

[illvialuver]

I had to watch one of my best friends lay in a state of comatose with tubes in him for a little more than a month and it takes a toll, I hate hospitals now and the whole thing put life in perspective, Ill miss the guy forever and he was the first person I had to watch die. I was there everyday for a month and was there just after he passed away, it was tough.

[ILLES13]

I lost my grand father to Lung Cancer 8 years ago.

My heart goes out to all of you.

[takeshis13]

Need to hold on to hope and really embrace everyone around you. Today is the 6 year anniversary of my Father's death. He had back pain and thought it was arthritis, went to the doctor around Thanksgiving time and found out he had an advanced case of stomach cancer that had spread through his body. 6 months later he was gone. All I can say is that death is never easy to deal with, it shouldn't be, but you need to keep being real with your feelings and allow yourself to properly grieve and then heal. Life goes on and things go back to a "new normal", but you never forget.

[Matador]

I spent my birthday last year at my grandfather's funeral. He died of cancer within a couple months of his diagnosis. This year on my birthday I received word that my other grandfather was found dead in his kitchen with no one around. It sucks, but you deal with it. I wont lie, I put on a good face both times but I shed tears for each of them. I know the timing was just a bad coincidence, but Im starting to worry about next year.

Sorry that there isnt much light to shed on how to cope, you just kinda figure it out as you go. Sorry for your loss.

[180sExy]

Today at 8 in the morning my grandmother passed. It feels unreal right now. I went to my grandmother's house an saw her. Almost like a bad dream. It really looked like she was sleeping. This is a really horrible pain. I feel a pain everytime I take a breath in. It's exausting. I went to my grandfathers room an had a really good cry,kinda felt empty after words.

[shiftdrift]

my condolences go out to you and your family man.

[I LUV MY S13]

stay strong brah

[cc4usmc]

I prepare myself mentally for stuff like that to happen, because in all honesty, you know it's bound to happen. Everyone goes, and nobody has control over the timing, for the most part. Course I'll probably still cry like a baby, never really been able to control that, and my gf enjoys that part. But it makes moving on easier. Then again, going through life expecting the worst all the time isn't that much fun...

[ZenkiKid]

I feel you man. Just last year I met my grandma for the first time in almost 10 years due to family drama. Shes the one who looked over me while my parents were working, and when i walked up to her to say hi she looked at me all confused because she didnt remember me. I was absolutely devasted.

[Freddy]

just two weekend ago i buried my uncle, after his pacemaker fail, carried his casket and everything. One of the worst feelings ever carrying that casket. when i got the call from my mom that her brother pass away i was shocked and couldn't believe it.

so stay strong brother

[Spitfire8o5]

ive never found ot easy to lose a loved one.. , she wouldnt want you going through any of this.. think of it that way..

Keep your head up man

Roger

[treken2t87]

It's crazy I posted on this thread just a few days ago and I'm reading it again....hours after finding out my father passed away this morning. Rest in peace, pops.

Stay strong....as hard as it is, hold your head up high.

[Dyingbreed]

Its a matter of being able to function around it.

MATADOR- No joke dude every year I get worried around my birthday. Both my great grandparents passed away a year apart on my birthday. A good friend of mine died in a car wreck one year. My lil sister almost died of blod clots in her lungs 2 years ago.

A good friend of mine from work just passed this weekend 2 days before his 35th birthday. We hadnt heard from him all weekend then Monday no show so we go to his apartment and find him laying in between the kitchen and living room. Died on Friday night.

Also I was in the Marine Corps and seen a lot of shit and lost alot of friends. I always had a period of morning nothing to extreme. Then a good friend of the family died all of a sudden and it was kosher. I go to the funeral and see one of her sons whom I had know since I was probably 5 years old and both of us lost it. I couldn't even go to her house afterwards I just couldn't keep it together.

You just have to let it out one good time.

[jrocslider]

its hard to deal with this type of pain. i feel the same way you do. i feel numb. tears will come and go when the memories you had with them go through your head. one of my uncles passed away from a heart attack yesterday morning. an aunt of mine was diagnosed with advanced leukemia last week. its hard. there really is nothing you can do but let it out.

my condolences to 180sExy and treken2t87

[driftsilvias13]

I know exactly how you feel.

My father passed away 9 years ago.

Numb because you're in disbelief but emotions will come and go as they please. Get through it with the support of your family and friends. People pass on, that is just part of life so just live it with no regrets.

[iwannaslyde]

a childhood friend of mine was taken in October of last year. some maniac kidnapped, raped, and strangled her. she was only 19. i could barely look at her in the casket. i think the circumstances of her death make it harder to cope with but you learn that somehow you have to move on with your life. i get misty-eyed every time i think of her but i know shes lookin down on me.

[treken2t87]

My lil sister almost died of blod clots in her lungs 2 years ago.
We're pretty sure that's how my dad passed away this morning :( Your sister's super lucky.

one of my uncles passed away from a heart attack yesterday morning. an aunt of mine was diagnosed with advanced leukemia last week.
my condolences to 180sExy and treken2t87

I appreciate it, and I'm sorry for your loss as well. Rest in peace.

I know exactly how you feel.

My father passed away 9 years ago.


Sorry for your loss as well. I already miss mine so much and it hasn't even been a day.

[drift freaq]

my condolences to 180sexy and treken2t87 and Austin I will say a prayer for your mother, as well as prayers for 180s grandmother and treken's father. I have been there guys and know how hard it is. May you all work through it and grow and be stronger.

Do not be afraid to cry or break down, letting it out is part of the grieving process.

[180sExy]

a childhood friend of mine was taken in October of last year. some maniac kidnapped, raped, and strangled her. she was only 19. i could barely look at her in the casket. i think the circumstances of her death make it harder to cope with but you learn that somehow you have to move on with your life. i get misty-eyed every time i think of her but i know shes lookin down on me.
Wow I'm so sorry for that. To have someone taken like that is awful.

[babyjesus]

180sexy, im deeply sorry for your loss, hanging in there and being strong is unfortunetly all we could do..

my grandmother has had diabetes for as long as i can remember, i remember once, i was probably 13 or so, she was in the hospital getting some sort of testing done. seeing her in that bed was a horrible reality of what it could potentially look like when she dies, i couldnt help but cry. luckily she's still with us and i am thankful for every minute of it.

i can't even imagine how you feel, but my best wishes go out to you and yours

[180sExy]

Jasfhjgabdvasj;dbvn
quit whining they're dead
complet ass.

[jrocslider]

my aunt who was diagnosed with advanced leukemia two weeks ago passed away today. i was planning a trip to visit her like she wanted me to last time we talked. i didnt know it was gonna happen so fast. 2 relatives in a week.

[Kaizen.]

One thing i've learned to better take the loss is to focus on the positive life they've lived versus the actual death.

[Emeraldo-Fan]

my condolences here...
my mom passed away in mid august 2008 (almost 2 years ago). she had Lung-Cancer, so i think i feel your pain :/

[exitspeed]

My condolences. I know what you are going through. My mom passed away just a few months ago. It's difficult.

[180sExy]

my aunt who was diagnosed with advanced leukemia two weeks ago passed away today. i was planning a trip to visit her like she wanted me to last time we talked. i didnt know it was gonna happen so fast. 2 relatives in a week.
My condolences to your family for you losses.