Do you ever drive away the people you love because you are scared of being hurt?

[blu808]

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

Because they have been hurt in the past, and dont want it to happen again?

[lflkajfj12123]

you're telling me you're gonna live the rest of your life in fear?

sounds like a stupid idea

call her back up and tell her you made a huge mistake and hope she forgives you

you need to stop worrying about the future so much and take it day by day

[ryguy]

Damn man, I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you with your ex-fiancee, I can't imagine how bad that must feel, and I can't blame you for wanting to push people out of your life for that reason. I'm the opposite, I'm really clingy towards my girlfriend, but I think I would be just like you if I were put in the same situation. Maybe you should seriously consider counseling, even just one session, it might help you get back in your right mind. But, don't let your past fuck up your present, let your current girlfriend fuck up or prove herself to be faithful before you act on your feelings.

[blu808]

sorry i edited the post.

maybe you guys are right.

Unfortunately she has already found someone, and doesnt want anything to do with me now.

[Silverstreek]

did that with my ex. 4 years off and on, being in the military far from her doesn't help either i'm sure. she had her faults too, but now it's too late for me. didn't hear from her for a few months, then she calls me up, says she's getting married and haven't heard from her since. probably for the best, but i can't seem to quit thinkin about her and it's fucking up my getting on with shit and doin my own thing or finding another girl.
i don't even wanna get into this crap over the internet with people i don't know, airing my dirty laundry isn't something i like to do. but seein this made me want to let you know that whatever it is that happend with you and your girl, if you want her or whatever, better take care of biz before it's too late. otherwise you'll maybe regret not doing something. then again, maybe you won't....i dunno.

[blu808]

here is the original post.

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

Reason why I ask.

A few years ago I proposed to a girl. Her and I had been living together for a few years. She then got really weird, and told me her mom was sick. She told me she had to go visit her mom. I understood. So she left. This was over my b-day which just happens to be valentines day. Anyways, when she came back, she said her mom was ok, and we continued living as a couple for a few months. One day I get home, and my ring was on the table with a note. She told me she had gone to vegas with someone from her work, and gotten married on Valentines day.

Epic Fail.


Anyways.

This year. I had been dating this really awesome girl. that I cared about alot. Then come time around my b-day I started wanting to push her out of my life. I didn't even know why. So i told her we cant be together anymore, and told her I was talking to another girl.

I ended up really hurting her. and feel really bad now. What is worse is that I now know it was because in the back of my mind, I really wanted to marry her some day. but was scared of getting hurt again. I am such a dumbfuck. Has anyone had anything similar happen? Or should I just go shoot myself right now.


Sorry if I am being a fucking cry baby.

[ESmorz]

You have no problem strapping V8's in tin can death machines and pitching them towards god knows what.

However you're afraid of a woman and how you might make things?

Man.

Shit.

[blu808]

ESmorz: lmao.

Silverstreek: Thanks for the input.

[ayuaddict]

i know i always make stupid smart ass comments about stuff but this is a interesting topic for me so i will take it seriously.

i find myself doing this almost obsessively, anybody from friends to family. Only to regret it an immense amount later. I do it almost unconsciously only to realize what i am doing after hurting the person i care about. i have had counseling when i was younger for anger issues but i only realized this issue recently and would like to receive counseling again but now money is an issue because i am no longer a minor and am not covered under my parent's health insurance because i live on my own. Therefore i have been working on this on my own, so far it seems as though convincing myself i don't care about the person helps, but that has its obvious downsides as well...

its a complicated situation and that doesn't even begin to describe the other issues associated with pushing loved ones away, but i hope we all can understand and overcome these issues one day.

[blu808]

Thanks. That helps.

BTW. ayuaddict: your car is awesome.

[240love]

I understand your situation. :(

[WERDdabuilder]

if you don't fix that problem with yourself now you'll never be happy. stop letting it run your life. learn from it. look passed it. press on. projecting stuff like that on to the next lady isn't healthy.

[blu808]

Thanks guys. All your advice is really helping me confirm what I am telling myself.

[slowpo]

this is a car forum i know it say "off topic" but still a car forum. no disrespect to the op but....this thread is super gay i mean richard simmons gay
http://paxarcana.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/richard_simmons.jpg

[blu808]

Yea. that is also correct.

Like I said.

Sorry If I am being a fucking cry baby.

[boostdd]

i was about to say wow im suprised at the mature manner this topic was discussed and that nobody was being a douche, til post above me lol

[shishcabobers]

Whoa cares at least you didn't suppress your feelings, then blow up and go on a killing rampage type of thing.

[lflkajfj12123]

slowpo you're 27 and still calling things gay?

its not a big deal he wanted peoples opinions

where better to ask than on zilvia.net OT

[slowpo]

Yea. that is also correct.

Like I said.

Sorry If I am being a fucking cry baby.
listen brotta i dont know what happen but...next year im goin to thailand to meet my fiancee i havent met her in person:hyper:.......anyway you should do the same think...fuck this girls here in the states they thing they better than guys fuck that shit coz. to bad your not here in vegas ill take you to a strip club

[ESmorz]

this is a car forum i know it say "off topic" but still a car forum. no disrespect to the op but....this thread is super gay i mean richard simmons gay
http://paxarcana.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/richard_simmons.jpg

Go play with some Nigerians.

[lflkajfj12123]

i'm going to thailand this year with my girlfriend and her family it makes no difference

if your fiancee lives in another country and you haven't even met them

you need not give blue808 any advice

[murda-c]

dude you have to realize that emotions and feelings are all under you control you just have to try harder.

So stop loving whoever this person is, and just live your life and be happy.

love whoever you got for a while and then move on when you wanna.

[ESmorz]

You just have to think about thinking.

Once you think about it. You control it and, you have to think you control to the point where you don't even think anything of it and it will all be an afterthought.

Think about it.

[Enna]

Luke, you gave me help on my S14 but your lacking in this area? We all have our strong points I guess.

Been there and done that. Yeah I pushed away my last girl because of my love for my S14 and working on cars. I still kick myself in the ass about it. But there's nothing that can be done. I still have a hard time trusting chicks cuz of my past with some. I have forced myself to push through tho. It was the only thing I could do to atleast keep a gf. If you can, try explaining to her what happened. If its not possible then force yourself to keep going. Willpower is an amazing thing man.

[C. Senor]

damn that sucks. havnt suffered from that, but i suffer from anxiety real bad coupled with compulsion doesnt do good either. what i have learned from issues regarding things of this over all nature, is that you have to find (for lack of a better expression) peace with yourself. you really need to take some time and get yourself together. it also really helps talking to people that have real value and input. just some suggestions, hope you can work through it though.

[amdnivram]

yeah i had the same problem, i've been with my g/f for 4 years, now that i'm heavily getting into cars, im trying to incorporate her so we can enjoy this together, or atleast let her have fun while im working on Audrey.

[jskateborders]

I have a similar issue, where if I get the slightest hint of any emotional connection from either me or her, I just freak and suddenly want nothing to do with them. I have a shit ton of baggage in the relationship department.

[cc4usmc]

Honesty and communication.

[deolio]

Honesty and communication.
^key

you gotta explain to her why you pushed her away and if she can't understand that, then she isn't worth your time.

[soreballz]

If she's already moved on, then there's only one thin you can do... Apologize to her, sincerely, let her go, and just move on with your life.

[Enna]

^Exactly. Learn your lesson and dont let yourself get held back by your fear or anxiety towards the situation. Try to make some happy memories around that time. Do some kind of crazy project that gets done around valentines day. Might keep your mind off the bad shit.

[xKennie]

kk i might be repeating what has been said already but here it goes.

from what i understand you put your effort into your relationship when you asked her to marry you. if she said ya then that means you were obviously doing something right otherwise she would have said no. i dont know you personally man but if you did shit right and were a dickhead to her she probably dont know what she just fucked up on.

think about it. she didnt fuck with your mind, she fucked her self over. think about all you could have given her and shit and now she wont be getting it. that should help you out, knowing that someone could have had it all with you but seriously fucked up and now gets shit. and it just proves to you the real person she was i guess you can say to.

if i were you call your recently ex gf and apologize and explain your situation. im pretty sure she will understand and perhaps give you another chance. if not, then obviously she aint the one either.

just dont be scared man, life is full of corners but when you take the wrong one and end up at a dead end just make a u turn and go the other direction leading to a new decision in life.

hope it kinda helps.

[azndoc]

Luke I was in a similar situation about two months ago.

I was with a girl and we had been together for nine months. Some of the best and worst times of my life.

But she was the one that pushed me away and was always trying to fuck up the relationship. She lied big time and I didn't find out until I made her confess at the end of the relationship.

I was willing to forgive her, but she was still trying to push me away and I did something stupid which gave her the cop out that she needed.

I tried to show her that she deserved love, but she always saw me as this guy that was too good to be true and that I would eventually turn into just another same old asshole guys that she had dated.

She was always testing me and seeing my reactions to situations. It became quite tiring.

Well eventually she pushed me to that point and I just couldn't take it anymore.

I'm better off without her, but believe me when I say that there's not a minute that goes by that I don't still think about her. But I think it was just bad timing in the end.

Her heart was just filled with too much darkness and she didn't know how to get that out of her.

I did my best I know and there's other things I could have done differently, but we can't change people.

We can give ourselves completely to someone in hopes that they will accept the love and not abuse it, but it doesn't always turn out that way.

I am now emotionally drained. I look at women differently now. It sucks.

But it takes time and although it doesn't make the pain go away completely it does help make the pain subside.

I say you go back to the ex-gf and explain the situation and I'm sure that she'll appreciate that and take you back.

Be honest and truthful. That's all that you can do in hopes that she takes you back.

It is better to have loved and fail, then to never have tried and felt no love ever.

GL buddy.

[SochBAT]

Luke, its okay.

I've done this a lot. ALWAYS have come back to the "It was a good thing. Its gone now." phase.

Life sucks when filled with regret. So what if you get hurt? The more you hurt, the more you know what NOT to do next time. Its like riding a bike. At first, you're scared as shit. You don't know how much pain you'll be in WHEN you fall, you just know it'll hurt. You keep riding, and BAM, you don't sweat the pain, you enjoy the moment. You enjoy the ride.

Personally, I'd tell her whats up.

'I'm sorry I said those things and pushed you away. Its hard to really explain, but I've been hurt before in a similar situation, and I honestly do not want to experience that again, and I'm sure you would feel the same."

If its getting hard, take it slow, no rush. You've got the rest of your life to live.

Carpe Diem.

And no, this thread is NOT gay. Saying its gay makes you gay.

A real man knows when the fuck to put his ego aside and really take into consideration what is going on emotionally.

[atom]

Don't sit there and ask what might have been the rest of your life. It fucking sucks.

Short summary, I dated this one girl almost all throughout college. When I was about to graduate she was still gonna be in school and I was moving back from Socal where I went to school back home to Norcal. She told me she was thinking about transferring up here so we could be closer. I panicked and like a total puss I torpedoed the relationship. I was 21 and didn't want the responsibility of her changing her whole life for me.

A few years later she tried to contact me through myspace. I was seeing someone at the time and didn't know what to do. So, like an idiot, again, I just ignored it. Now that I cancelled my account I wouldn't know how to contact her even if I wanted to. So I'm stuck wondering what if. I've moved on mostly, but I'd be lying if I said I was 100% over it.

So I would say try to make amends. No matter what she says, at least you'll have resolution.

I thought I was gonna be bummed after writing this post but it actually felt pretty good to get this shit off my chest. LOL.

[legacy927]

Yea. that is also correct.

Like I said.

Sorry If I am being a fucking cry baby.

sups bro,

dont apologize to the jerk-off, apparently he never been in a serious situation like this before, hes fuckin 27 and he uses his ass to talk bunch of shit..

Anyway, if you're willing to date, that means you're already moving on. The past is the past, dont let it hold you down forever.

[handinpants]

sorry i edited the post.

maybe you guys are right.

Unfortunately she has already found someone, and doesnt want anything to do with me now.


well maybe it was not really supposed to be that way. she went out and met someone else right away... whore
find someone else on plentyoffish.com

[enkei2k]

damn man, is everybody going through this? i myself am feeling in a similar fashion. i am scared of being hurt also, like everyone, but i always say "you live and you learn". but enough about me, this is about you since this is your thread. my advice would be like what everybody else says, be honest, upfront and truthful. don't hide anything back. you can't take back what happened, but definitely do what your heart tells you to do. good luck to you.

[blu808]

Hey guys. Thanks everyone. Your guys input and advice has helped out alot.

I thought this thread would hurt my image, and my potential of getting customers on here, but on the same token I look up to alot of you guys and needed your advice.

Im not saying like "o god im so sad, ima kill myself" or anything. I just wanted to see if other people do weird things like this. I guess the answer is yes.

[ryguy]

I bet just getting this out into the open helped, I know when I was going through relationship troubles with my girlfriend of 3 years, just getting it on the table, not even necessarily with her, helped a lot.

[stiizy]

Hey guys. Thanks everyone. Your guys input and advice has helped out alot.

I thought this thread would hurt my image, and my potential of getting customers on here, but on the same token I look up to alot of you guys and needed your advice.

Im not saying like "o god im so sad, ima kill myself" or anything. I just wanted to see if other people do weird things like this. I guess the answer is yes.

dude i used to be like this..

I got crushed by an ex, after i wouldn't do shit to move on...

Spoke to a friend of mine and gave me some advice about things and i never looked back after that...

Live for today, whats done is done and what can you do to change the past? nothing cause you can't..

Start dating again and worry about the present moment and let the future fall into your lap bro...

Dont dwell on the past..

like i say..

You can never move forwards, If your always looking Backwards....

get out and live bro...

[ZenkiKid]

Don't sit there and ask what might have been the rest of your life. It fucking sucks.

\

true to life here man, as said before yeah the only thing to do is say sorry to her, whether or not it ends on a good note. At least youll know that youll find some closure you know?

[SochBAT]

Hey guys. Thanks everyone. Your guys input and advice has helped out alot.

I thought this thread would hurt my image, and my potential of getting customers on here, but on the same token I look up to alot of you guys and needed your advice.

Im not saying like "o god im so sad, ima kill myself" or anything. I just wanted to see if other people do weird things like this. I guess the answer is yes.

lol, compared to my old Depression thread, you've got nothing to worry about.

Same amazing people have helped me on this forum through and through.

And to be honest, I'm kinda surprised that Zilvians' have this much heart. Its like some alternate reality or something.

Cheers Zilvia!

[Silverstreek]

dude i used to be like this..

I got crushed by an ex, after i wouldn't do shit to move on...

Spoke to a friend of mine and gave me some advice about things and i never looked back after that...

Live for today, whats done is done and what can you do to change the past? nothing cause you can't..

Start dating again and worry about the present moment and let the future fall into your lap bro...

Dont dwell on the past..

like i say..

You can never move forwards, If your always looking Backwards....

get out and live bro...

some good stuff there. wish i could stop lookin back...

[Enna]

I force myself to not look back. I lost a great fuckin chick. And it hurts like fuck whenever I see her pic or something. I force myself to just move on because its the only thing I can do. Just gotta see what happens with the next one and not make the same mistakes.

[az_240]

I believe it is because chicks work more these days.... there is more temptation around the workplace...when you are with a certain person 8 hours a day you begin to build a bond and know each other better.

I personally believe chicks need to quit being so scandelous.

I was fine with my ex gf of 3 years until she got a job and started sleeping with the dish boy at the resturant she worked at. I can barely date chicks these days because of it.

[don_bagz]

listen brotta i dont know what happen but...next year im goin to thailand to meet my fiancee i havent met her in person:hyper:

I dont know dude, but that sounds like someone needs a green card.. believe me, people will do anything to get in america.. you have no idea how many people i encountered that had the experience of finding a wife on a different country, take em to the states for automatic citizenship, 3 years later, got divorced.. (3 years is the minimum years to be spent together to keep a citizenshop)

If she's already moved on, then there's only one thin you can do... Apologize to her, sincerely, let her go, and just move on with your life.

agree on this one, by apologizing and being honest to her will definately make things better in either scenarios.. Either, she will come back to you, or you getting over her.. its alot easier to get over someone especially when you dont have anything that your hiding from them..

As for your ex-fiance:
think about it, she has been lying to you when you guys were together.. didnt say anything about someone else, and just left you to figure out what the heck happened... didnt even have the guts to tell you straight up.. now, DO YOU REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH A GIRL LIKE THAT? im sure you are much bigger fish than that..

[slider2828]

Forget about everything and work on my car???? Lol, next time I come by the shop I will tell you an even more messed up story about my life.... But I leared, grew up a LOT without even knowing it and probably going to get married in the next year. Mine involved pregnancy and a restraining order lol.....

Anyways, I have a friend that also want some work done too. Easy stuff, I just don't wanna do it. O I checked and I did send you that 70 bux.

[azndoc]

Dude don't look like it as your being a crybaby or anything.

Shit I've done one of these threads too.

It comforting to share with people you know or complete strangers on a forum.

But everyone can related. And if you can't then well your a cold heart bastard.

You just have to keep yourself busy and that's what I've been doing and everyday it gets better. Some days are bad and that's why you have friends for.

[iwishiwas-all*]

sorry i edited the post.

maybe you guys are right.

Unfortunately she has already found someone, and doesnt want anything to do with me now.

been there done that got the tee shirt :/

[Andrew Bohan]

hey that's a good idea

i should make tee shirts for that. LOL



anyways,

luke ol buddy ol pal. it takes two to make it work, but only one to stop it. so if she's gone she's gone.

not all women are out to hurt you, so don't expect that they are. be cautious but not paranoid.

and above all else, remember to ewwiwop the bananafold

[ixfxi]

here is the original post.

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

Reason why I ask.

A few years ago I proposed to a girl. Her and I had been living together for a few years. She then got really weird, and told me her mom was sick. She told me she had to go visit her mom. I understood. So she left. This was over my b-day which just happens to be valentines day. Anyways, when she came back, she said her mom was ok, and we continued living as a couple for a few months. One day I get home, and my ring was on the table with a note. She told me she had gone to vegas with someone from her work, and gotten married on Valentines day.

Epic Fail.


Anyways.

This year. I had been dating this really awesome girl. that I cared about alot. Then come time around my b-day I started wanting to push her out of my life. I didn't even know why. So i told her we cant be together anymore, and told her I was talking to another girl.

I ended up really hurting her. and feel really bad now. What is worse is that I now know it was because in the back of my mind, I really wanted to marry her some day. but was scared of getting hurt again. I am such a dumbfuck. Has anyone had anything similar happen? Or should I just go shoot myself right now.


Sorry if I am being a fucking cry baby.



seriously, this thread exists?

you're a badass on the forum, fabricating all sorts of crazy contraptions, welding all types of badassed shit.. and you're making a fuckin vagina thread?


go out with your friends, drink some fuckin beer and party - you're 26, there's no reason for all this emotion. so it didnt work out with the last girl, dont worry.. thank yourself that you got your heart broken and that you didnt enter a marriage and/or bring a child or children into this world and then live the next 5, 10, 20 years regretting you're entire life/situation. Be happy that you're fuckin young, free, and are a man who has options. Options like being happy, partying, and screwing multiple women until you decide to marry.

i've been with numerous chicks in my life, though none have really broken my heart. i am not a heart breaker either, or at least i dont try to be. i've had numerous girls want more from me (relationship etc) but i only decided to marry the one i married because she was the best, hands down. i put her through tons of shit and she still loved me, and that was enough to make me decide to settle down.





now i'm 31. i spent a good majority of my 20's building business, partying and meeting lots of girls. enjoy you're twenties. 30 is only a few fuckin farts away.

ps: think about it, life could be worse. you could be kevin: married with children, moderating a car forum. ;-)

[blu808]

Haha. Thanks guys.

ixfxi: Right on man. Ima go tear up the town tonight.

[WERDdabuilder]

lets all get together, bar hop, smash snatch. the right medicine for a broken <3

[blu808]

down. anytime.

[Enna]

My ex just asked me if I've been trying to get ahold of her. I haven't contacted her in over 8 months I think it was. I'm goin drinking. Fuck this shit.

[blu808]

Time to tear it up//

http://zilvia.net/f/polls/241607-luke-needs-our-help.html

[OKR_240SX]

"Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed.” Eileen Caddy

[chadca18s13]

im so happy i saw this thread!

first of all, any haters or people calling this thread gay, your just immature.

ive been going thru the same thing, and i think that whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger. its all about communication and honesty in a relationship... it is scary to tell a girl what you actually feel, especially when we are all supposed to be the tough guy that can save the day. but looking back on things with my last gf, if i would have been honest and told her my situation, i def wouldnt have the hangups i currently have.

try not to dwell on it too much man, however it is super good that you are talking about it and trying to figure it out. means your growing as a person, cuz as they say you cant love someone else until you love yourself. take the past 2 shity experiences and grow from it, take everything youve learnt and go into the next relationship full force, dont be irrational, but building walls to try protect your heart is completely counter productive.

girls come and go, think of this as training so you know exactly how to treat the right girl when she comes around.
...now if only i could take my own advice... hahaha
to be totally honest i dont think the pain ever goes away until you find someone new.

^ great quote by the way

[blu808]

Dude. Thanks for what you said.

It is really cool how much this is helping. I hear "oh there's plenty of fish in the sea, get out there" from my mom. But I know it is just her trying to make me feel better.


But to hear so much great advice from people that I know, dont know, look upto, older, younger, is awesome.

Thanks guys.

[Enna]

Np now go make that fucking porno.

[wangan_cruiser]

hey luke i know u helped me out from reinforcing my sr oil pump back in the days. i read your thread and i know how it feels.


just my story.


i dated this girl back for a 1 yr and half. then we broke up. i held up for her and thought we will be back together. after 4 yrs i found a girl. a girl i didnt expect that i would fall. she basically supports me on everything. she likes what i do. she likes my car and any stuff that i like. then one day i always had this feeling for my ex. i got scared but still i wanna settle it with my current gf. me and my ex met last july this yr in LA she is from east coast. i thought meeting her will pretty much change everything but i was wrong. i had to cool off with my current gf for my ex to see what happens in LA. then later on i started to realize my ex wasnt for me. then i get back with my gf and i apologized to her on what i did and told her the truth. she took me back and i was grateful and happy because she understood what i felt back then. even though she threw all the letters i sent her.


just keep moving forward man. things happen for a reason. being scared of getting hurt is part in a relationship. build trust and strong foundation. just like building a race engine with reinforced internals to support the stress for making a lof of horsepower.


people who thinks this kind of thread is gay are fake. stop being front to be OH IM A TOUGH GUY I DONT NEED THIS SHIT. nah u need to let your feelings out. be a man. real man cries.



have fun man theres more in life out there. i was in your position back in the days but i finally coped about it and found someone who is much deserving of what i deserve. everyone knows we deserve better. just explain to her why it happened that way. she should understand. if she cant take u back dont be sad. u did your part. at least u tried to right?

[blu808]

Yea. Thanks for telling me that.

I fucked up. I wouldn't expect her to take me back after i hurt her. I am an idiot. All I can hope for it that whatever guy she ends up with treats her right and doesn't hurt her. Every morning when I wake up I miss her, but I know in time that will change.


Long story short. I hurt her
then still care about her.

If I truely care about her. Then I will accept her being happy with someone else. Even though it was like 36 hours apart. I still have to love her in a caring sense. I hope she is treated better than I ever could. I hope all her dreams come true.

I need to get on with it.

everywhere I go. I see her face, and hear her voice. But I know it is because i'm used to her.

It is easy to become dependant on a person. and develop a routine. Anyways. I am not trying to waste your time. I just know i cant go back in time and fix us. And even though I know she is sleeping with her new BF as I type this. I think it will all work out.

[kevmeistah21]

just keep moving forward man. Things happen for a reason. Being scared of getting hurt is part in a relationship. Build trust and strong foundation. Just like building a race engine with reinforced internals to support the stress for making a lof of horsepower.


People who thinks this kind of thread is gay are fake. Stop being front to be oh im a tough guy i dont need this shit. Nah u need to let your feelings out. Be a man. Real man cries.


^^^ this guy can preach!!! +1!

I respect that.

[98s14inaz]

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

Because they have been hurt in the past, and dont want it to happen again?

It is more of a trust issue with me. I don't really fear anything per say. Part of me is at the "why bother" stage. Sometimes you need to stay alone until you are ready to trust someone.

[Enna]

A real man cries.

I wont deny this. Call me a bitch or w/e but this shit happens. Tough on the outside, soft inside. Thats a man. I'm just waiting it out to see what finally happens for me. I know I lost my ex for good. Just doing shit for myself till the next one comes along.

[silviaz]

Hey man, why don't u tell her everything you said in the previous post like, right now ? Just call her and say you've made a bad decision because of this and that..... You could also go to her house and say everything in front of her, she'll see you are pretty serious after all.

Confront your fears....

if you stay quiet, nothing is gonna happen.

[saggmeistah]

watch the movie fireproof!

[ixfxi]

I fucked up. I wouldn't expect her to take me back after i hurt her. I am an idiot. All I can hope for it that whatever guy she ends up with treats her right and doesn't hurt her. Every morning when I wake up I miss her, but I know in time that will change.
Long story short. I hurt her
then still care about her.

Dont let the squeeky wheel affect you, women use the "you hurt me" excuse for nearly everything. Allow me to elaborate...

Example #1) You go out with your friends, you come back home.. you hurt her. Why? She missed you and was hoping you could spend some nice time together.

If you ask me, the "hurt" shit is way overrated. I mean, its a complete double standard. Watch, when a girl goes out with her girlfriends and you're at home watching porno on the internet, you're not hurt. You're happy, finally a break from the nagging. She comes home, you're happy - she's happy, you have sex. Happy times.


Example #2) After hours of them nagging the shit out of you, you say something mean back to them. They complain that you hurt them.

Its a fact, women cannot control their emotions. Hence the reason they should never run nuclear powerplants or run for president. If women are like cats and guys are like dogs, then its obvious a cat should not go picking a fight with a dog. There is a reason why dogs eat cute kitties.


If I truely care about her. Then I will accept her being happy with someone else. Even though it was like 36 hours apart. I still have to love her in a caring sense. I hope she is treated better than I ever could. I hope all her dreams come true.

I need to get on with it.

everywhere I go. I see her face, and hear her voice. But I know it is because i'm used to her.

It is easy to become dependant on a person. and develop a routine. Anyways. I am not trying to waste your time. I just know i cant go back in time and fix us. And even though I know she is sleeping with her new BF as I type this. I think it will all work out.

You said one thing right, the thing above in bold. As for you accepting her with another man? HELL NO. No one ever accepts that. What do you do? Cut her out of your life, simple as that. I dont keep in contact with ANY of my ex'es, they're all trouble once you're in a relationship. If you're single, do yourself the favor and find new girl(s).

I can tell you this without knowing you: learn to stand on your own feet. You're too dependent a person and too touchy-feely for the girls you've been with, hence the reason they dont want you after X amount of months.

If you stand on your own feet and are happy being single, you'll find a girl who'll want you and will fall in love with you. Afterall, its natural for women to be dependent - they were born that way. Fact: women dont like weak, lazy, over-sensitive emo, dependent guys - though, they dont like over-confident, egotistical, cold-blooded assholes (like me).

Good luck puss-cake

[blu808]

thanks man.

[ESmorz]

I have only been broken up with once in my entire life. That one time fucked me up, and I am glad I took my older friends advice.

It goes something like this... You need to go out on the town a few nights with your boys, get drunk, and lay pipe on some random sluts. This way the last person you slept with won't be her and their were a few inbetween. It seems silly but in the mental aspect it does help to move it to the back of your mind.

After that, take a break from women all together, except your mom or close friends. Fill the next month or two with shit you love to do, or at least your free time. Eat your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies, have your favorite beer blah blah.

You will start to notice your affliction towards women has waned and when you present yourself as your old self once again. Some lucky bitch will stumble upon you. You will be together and in the end it is all up to you and your choices to make sure this doesn't happen again or at the very least, it happens on your terms.

seacrest out

[ixfxi]

I have only been broken up with once in my entire life. That one time fucked me up, and I am glad I took my older friends advice.

It goes something like this... You need to go out on the town a few nights with your boys, get drunk, and lay pipe on some random sluts. This way the last person you slept with won't be her and their were a few inbetween. It seems silly but in the mental aspect it does help to move it to the back of your mind.

After that, take a break from women all together, except your mom or close friends. Fill the next month or two with shit you love to do, or at least your free time. Eat your favorite foods, watch your favorite movies, have your favorite beer blah blah.

You will start to notice your affliction towards women has waned and when you present yourself as your old self once again. Some lucky bitch will stumble upon you. You will be together and in the end it is all up to you and your choices to make sure this doesn't happen again or at the very least, it happens on your terms.

seacrest out



this is the weirdest advice ive ever heard. you're suggesting he go bang some chicks to get his mind off of it, and then youre suggesting him to keep away from women for a period of time. im sorry, but if this works/worked for you i am amazed. this sounds like some shitty cover-up and not actually dealing with the situation at hand.


i remember when i fell in love with the woman i ended up marrying, we broke up several times and each time i kept trying to forget about the situation. it didnt work for shit. i went out with other women only to experience the limp-dick sensation of not having attraction to this new woman because i was mentally and physically wanting one thing, the woman i fell in love with. naturally, she wanted me (even though I did her wrong) and well, thats what men do: we break things and we fix things. i fixed things, got hitched, and the rest is history.


some people say one nail drives the other out, its true but nails dont drive other nails out without IMPACT. you gotta get a hell of a chick to pull you out of the mental bind of being stuck on an old love.

ive always lead my relationships blind, they were always lacking love. i didnt discover it until my wife showed it to me.

the only piece of advice you can give ANYONE when it comes to relationships is that if its meant to be, its meant to be. its never a straight line, there are always bumps and problems and if you both feel the same, you'll get back together - more or less, its destiny.


like i said, no matter how big the arguement or problem, you'll get back together better and stronger................... IF ITS MEANT TO BE.

[ESmorz]

this is the weirdest advice ive ever heard. you're suggesting he go bang some chicks to get his mind off of it, and then youre suggesting him to keep away from women for a period of time. im sorry, but if this works/worked for you i am amazed. this sounds like some shitty cover-up and not actually dealing with the situation at hand.

The situation at hand is dealing with yourself.

Maybe I am just the type of person that needs breaks from people I don't know. Having fun and taking some personal time to really come to terms with yourself is the ultimate closure and to me that is the situation at hand. Rather than to remain stuck with the same mentality you had towards someone who wants to be gone. Like you said; if it's mean to be... it's meant to be.

If not, well then get yourself over it. Do what you want to do with your life. You only get one and it's yours. If that's trying to get back with some chick who knowingly broke your heart or you broke theirs well then by all means go for it. If it means reconnecting with yourself and putting the pieces back together, so be it.

:faint:

[silpena]

this is the weirdest advice ive ever heard. you're suggesting he go bang some chicks to get his mind off of it, and then youre suggesting him to keep away from women for a period of time. im sorry, but if this works/worked for you i am amazed. this sounds like some shitty cover-up and not actually dealing with the situation at hand.


i remember when i fell in love with the woman i ended up marrying, we broke up several times and each time i kept trying to forget about the situation. it didnt work for shit. i went out with other women only to experience the limp-dick sensation of not having attraction to this new woman because i was mentally and physically wanting one thing, the woman i fell in love with. naturally, she wanted me (even though I did her wrong) and well, thats what men do: we break things and we fix things. i fixed things, got hitched, and the rest is history.


some people say one nail drives the other out, its true but nails dont drive other nails out without IMPACT. you gotta get a hell of a chick to pull you out of the mental bind of being stuck on an old love.

ive always lead my relationships blind, they were always lacking love. i didnt discover it until my wife showed it to me.

the only piece of advice you can give ANYONE when it comes to relationships is that if its meant to be, its meant to be. its never a straight line, there are always bumps and problems and if you both feel the same, you'll get back together - more or less, its destiny.


like i said, no matter how big the arguement or problem, you'll get back together better and stronger................... IF ITS MEANT TO BE.

dude is some good advice, i am going through the whole same thing as the op except my ex broke up with me.

[Bubbles]

seacrest out


I didn't think he made it official yet.

[wangan_cruiser]

It is easy to become dependant on a person. and develop a routine. Anyways. I am not trying to waste your time. I just know i cant go back in time and fix us. And even though I know she is sleeping with her new BF as I type this. I think it will all work out.



how would u know that she is sleeping with other guys? dude how long u guys been off? this im gonna tell u. she is missin u too. yea u hurt her the way u said somethings but im for sure she still misses u the person she cared about. she cant just forget about you after all those good memories u had.


kevmeistah - haha thanks its experience man. getting your heart broken changes u and shaped u up into a real man. thats how we get strong. lmao

[blu808]

Because not more than 2 days after we broke up, she said she met a really great man, and she is living with him, ect.

That is not what I was hoping to have heard from her, but as long as she is truly happy, and the guy treats her good that is all I can hope for at this point. I need to stop being selfish, and let her be happy. Even though I wish she gave me the chance to show her how I always wanted to be.


I am doing better though each day. Thanks to you guys on here.

High five!

[WERDdabuilder]

i went out with other women only to experience the limp-dick sensation of not having attraction to this new woman because i was mentally and physically wanting one thing, the woman i fell in love with.


buaha, oh man i've had this happen before. broke up with my first real gf i "loved". i was still "hurting" at the time. my ex(before the first real gf) came over and spent the night. well things started happening but when it was time to pound...my shit went limp. i was still thinking about the one i "loved". funny and embarrassing at the same time. and we laught about it now.


Maybe I am just the type of person that needs breaks from people I don't know. Having fun and taking some personal time to really come to terms with yourself is the ultimate closure and to me that is the situation at hand. Rather than to remain stuck with the same mentality you had towards someone who wants to be gone.


right here...is PERFECT ADVICE. i just got out of a 2 year relationship and before that i was in another 2 year relationship so aka..4 years of if. on my 22nd bday(couple months of being single) i ate a fortune cookie and it said [b]The Most Important Relationship in You Life is With Yourself[/]. and i couldn't agree more. for the passed 4 years i been dependent on significant other. it took me 4 years to figure out that that wasn't me. im happen being single.

blu808 - did you go out and fuck up the town?

[blu808]

Thanks for that.

Did I go fuck up town?

No. I wish my best friend wasnt married and would drag me out to a bar or something.
lol

[drifter_for_life06]

here is the original post.

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

This year. I had been dating this really awesome girl. that I cared about alot. Then come time around my b-day I started wanting to push her out of my life. I didn't even know why. So i told her we cant be together anymore, and told her I was talking to another girl.

I ended up really hurting her. and feel really bad now. What is worse is that I now know it was because in the back of my mind, I really wanted to marry her some day. but was scared of getting hurt again. I am such a dumbfuck. Has anyone had anything similar happen? Or should I just go shoot myself right now.


Sorry if I am being a fucking cry baby.

same thing happened with me and my last ex. still have trouble with relationships and its been 2 years since my fuck up. But i just try my hardest to keep busy, be it work, boozing, driving or wrenching and it helps to get me by. But yea, its happened to some of us...dont feel like shooting yourself....no woman is worth that

drink some beer, shift some gears, turns a few wrenches and make some money and life will be fine

[wangan_cruiser]

keep busy, be it work, boozing, driving or wrenching and it helps to get me by.



fuck yea wrenching my car got me by for at least 4 yrs. haha but im cool right now and happy, contented with my current one.

[worangejuice]

wow,just read the whole thread, some good advice on here. I think I'm in the girl pushing me away relationship.
Try therapy out when you can....IT HELPS.....I did it some years back, but it still helps me to this day. I am able to step back and look at myself and rationalize things out. My first love, went through therapy too. So we still are very close and talk time to time about our relationships. So what I'm saying is it helps YOU work on YOU.o realize what you do to yourself and to stop that. You will enable yourself to be happy and not feel a sabotage coming on.
You're ex sounds like she plays crazy mind games, and you don't have time to be screwed around with like that. She reacted like that and it sounds good that you got out of it.
I mean look, you got 2 girls to come to you're house and wanting to bring more vagina back. (you stud you)
Whenever YOU (only you are gonna do what you wanna do)feel like it, try out a session of therapy, make sure you're comfortable with the person you're talking to (they're human also)
It helps alot.
It's like an internal tune-up or rebuild for you're internals (....a 1/4 mile at a time..harhar)
Enjoy teh sex comin your way.
Learn and live, move on.
Congratulations! you now know what to look for and what will make
blu808 happy :)

[Daniel.]

luke lets go out and grab a few beers sometime

[nismo 240sx]

[quote=blu808;2654265]Because not more than 2 days after we broke up, she said she met a really great man, and she is living with him, ect.

this should make you stronger!..if she told you that and moved on that quick then that only shows you how much you cared!..my ex did the same thing went out with some guy the next day and i was like fuck it move on...went out ment a bunch of girls!!...just not giving a fuck helps alot..one day your going to wake up and just not give a fuck and move on!

[wangan_cruiser]

the only thing i would see after she said she just met a guy and sleeping with him is just to hurt u luke. since u said u hurt her by pushing her away will make her say something she doesnt meant to say.


if u believe that she would sleep with another guy just like that then that makes it look like she's that type of girl who would just sleep with other guy while being with you.



if she's like that. its not even worth trying to get back with her.

[CrashQueen]

here is the original post.

Has anyone on here ever driven away someone they love?

Reason why I ask.

A few years ago I proposed to a girl. Her and I had been living together for a few years. She then got really weird, and told me her mom was sick. She told me she had to go visit her mom. I understood. So she left. This was over my b-day which just happens to be valentines day. Anyways, when she came back, she said her mom was ok, and we continued living as a couple for a few months. One day I get home, and my ring was on the table with a note. She told me she had gone to vegas with someone from her work, and gotten married on Valentines day.





FUCK MY LIFE!


http://www.fmylife.com (http://www.fmylife.com/)

[CrashQueen]

Because not more than 2 days after we broke up, she said she met a really great man, and she is living with him, ect.





how long has she been with her current bf now? When did they start living together?

after reading this part after everything you had to say, I think that maybe what's she's really doing is rebounding. 2 DAYS after you broke up with her??? LIVING with the current bf now?? Sounds like the girl was dependent on YOU and now that you left her, she had to seek that dependency on someone else. She probably found that new guy because you did tell her that you were seeing a new girl.

I know that everyone is saying that you should go back and explain to her why you broke up with her, but have you done that yet?


I think that maybe if you did, she will actually be willing to get back with you. I don't think her heart is over you yet. She is basically just filling the void you left her in.


Talk to her. Just do it. You have nothing to lose at this point. If anything, you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing your answers to the "what ifs" and hey, if it's just not meant to be, then do as what was stated over and over here.... move on and never look back.

[blu808]

Thanks crashqueen. The situation sucks. But if she is not willing to risk her emotions with me then there is not much for me to do.

[CrashQueen]

^^^ true. But seriously, give it a shot. Tell her the truth and see what happens. As a female, and trying to put myself in her shoes, I'm assuming that the reason she ended up with another guy in merely a couple days, is simply to rebound. I mean you would think she'd be dumbfounded right? Probably "mourn" the loss of your relationship for a while but she moved on in an instant. Let's face it, the reality in rebounds is, you do it even when your heart pretty much still lingers for the love that left you.

and because of that, all I'm saying is, MAYBE, just maybe in her heart, she still wants you, but you will never find that out by just wondering. You have to take action. At this point with all the the what ifs out in the open, and imagining different scenerios that could possibly happen after you talk to her, you should be more prepared at this point to handle what happens next after expecting the worst. If she's not willing, you're not waiting and then leave with an open heart without any more regret.

[noodl35]

listen brotta i dont know what happen but...next year im goin to thailand to meet my fiancee i havent met her in person:hyper:.......anyway you should do the same think...fuck this girls here in the states they thing they better than guys fuck that shit coz. to bad your not here in vegas ill take you to a strip club

Screw you dude, you are friggin 27 years old. You should be mature enough to realize that sharing your feelings with others is a brave manly thing rather than suppressing them.

To the OP. Cars can never compare to the ONE you love...never! You may be put your love in to cars but as the old saying goes, cars never hug you back. Always set priorities first. Now I know I have my faults when it comes with my girl and my car but the girl should always come first, that's just me.