Where the hell is the toilet paper?

[Brian]

Let me start by saying that I like to buy NICE toilet paper. I buy COTTENELLE brand because they have that cute puppy guy on there. Also, it is so soft and cushy.

So, I have been noticing this weird trend lately. At my girlfriend's place there is me, here, and one other couple. So, 4 people total. I hardly use toilet paper at home, I usually poo at work to waste time. I also assume that dudes don't use as much as women. Ok, fine. great.

Anyways, The last couple months I have noticed the brand new rolls of cottenelle that I put in there seem to be gone in 2-3 days. To me, this does not seem right at all. I can remember when I lived at home years ago, this was never the case. The bathroom was used by just my brother and I, so maybe that has something to do with it.

I just can't figure it out....

So, I decided to do a real test this last week.

I put a brand new roll in there on the morning of the 12th.
The morning of the 13th checked and it was quite used up.
The morning of the 14th it was rally used up.
The evening of the 14th it was GONE.

Ok, weird. T hat was pretty fast. Cottenelle has big ass rolls too.
Then I thought, gee the girlfriend isn't even here this weekend, she is up at her parents. What the hell. I used it maybe once, so that breaks it down to 2 people that use a whole roll in 3 days. It just seems weird.

So last night, my girlfriend and I tried again to see what goes on.

(hold on, let me put something in here. I thought maybe it was just ME that found this whole thing weird. However, the lady feels the same way.)

So, like I said, last night we put another brand new roll in there.
This morning I go and look and it was half way gone.
I didn't use it at all, nor did she.

How the hell does that much paper get used so fast???


anyways, any other dudes (or girls) have something like this happen? I bet there hasn't been another thread like this one yet.


THE TOILET PAPER CRISIS


Love,
BH

[RaceBred 17]

Some people really like to be sure there clean and use half a damn role.

[240trainee]

I just keep toilet paper in my room now.

I'd buy like cases of the shit, roomies wouldn't pay me back, and use it all.

I did have a room mate who used a shit ton. like half a roll when he shat. Fucker would clog a toilet with TP.

[LeftNutOfGowd]

buy baby wipes

[Brian]

240 - yeah, we started doing that. I don't want my cute puppy toilet paper WASTED. :)
leftnut - Why? What does that have to do with anything?

[ZenkiKid]

my guess is that they take those kinds of shats where it takes 893901513051 whipes till youre finally clean

[murda-c]

240 - yeah, we started doing that. I don't want my cute puppy toilet paper WASTED. :)
leftnut - Why? What does that have to do with anything?

baby wipes make everything fresher.

you should install a bidet.

my guess is that they take those kinds of shats where it takes 893901513051 whipes till youre finally clean

you mean the ones where it's like pooping out warm peanut butter?

[RaceBred 17]

Cosco or something like that.30 rolls for 15 bucks.

[Brian]

I just keep my cottenelle to myself now.
mmm so soft.

[SUPERSTAR]

My guess the other couple have really hairy buttholes and need that much paper to clean every single hair. Buy cheap paper, the one that feels like sand paper and see if it goes just as fast.

[Phlip]

Remember that those fluffy soft toilet paper rolls are so damned huge because the sheets are thicker, not because there's more sheets on it. With 3 people using a roll in a house, I could imagine it getting gone fast.
Personally, I hate those soft papers, I feel like I have to wipe 15 times to get all the way clear.

[ALTRNTV]

Baby wipes are awesome. So fresh feeling. You don't even want to know what using "tabo and water" means
(for the Filipinos). :keke:

I use Charmin by the way if I don't have wipes.

[Brian]

It is off the hook.

OFF THE HOOK.

I want to take a new roll and just unroll half of it just to see how much was used since last night.

[azndoc]

I like to keep my ass clean.

So yes I'm one of those that use up at least 1/4 if not more per each use.

And yes baby wipes are awesome.

Oh and I had a gf that used to complain that I would jump right into the shower after sex and she thought that it was because of her and that I wanted to wash off her juices off of me and stuff.

I was like ummmm no because I'm all sweaty and nasty and I just don't want to cuddle or lay in my bed all sticky icky.

So I got baby wipes and put it beside my bed and that made her happy.

Girls are so weird.

[Flicktitty]

theres alot of people out there that use alot of TP.

[BustedS13]

get the dvd of that seinfeld episode, the one where elaine keeps yelling about needing two squares or some shit.
and then watch it every time they're in the house.

[ThatGuy]

Just ask them straight up, "Hey, are you guys TP whores or what?"

Or you could be more tactful and just bring it up to the wifey with the roomies within earshot, "Hey babe, can you believe how much TP we've been using lately? I think Cottonelle must be making smaller rolls or something, due to the economy. We've never used so much TP before."

If things don't change, keep trying. In a worst case senario, kick the door to the bathroom open and just start screaming about them using up too much TP while they're in there.

One of these may do the trick.

[Brian]

all good ideas.

I was mostly wondering if anybody else here experienced the same sort of thing.

:)

[Teddy]

I dunno, I take big shits, but my TP doesn't go that fast...

[BustedS13]

my roommate never replaces the roll, so i like to replace the roll with an empty one after i shit

but that's not the same

[ALTRNTV]

Speaking of which, I'm going to take a shit right now.

[piranhamatt]

I thought I was the only one! When my girlfriend's brother was stopping by all the time it was like a roll a day. I couldn't believe it!

[ThatGuy]

all good ideas.

I was mostly wondering if anybody else here experienced the same sort of thing.

:)

Closest I can come to similar experience would be at work, Brian.

Since we've got 75-80 Marine Students running around, our restrooms can get "wiped clean" fairly quickly. Not to mention they like to take full rolls back to the Barracks with them so they don't have to run out and buy any for themselves. We solved that little problem by storing all the extra in a locked cabinet. Now they can still use up the existing roll as quick as they'd like, but when they know the rest is locked up out of their reach, they seem to be a little more conservative with their TP usage.

[mrmephistopheles]

I bet they're using TP for cleanup duty after sexy time.

I used to use like 3-4 squares per deuce thanks to my learned TP discipline (courtesy USMC). Having no TP in the field because you were wasteful is not a fun thing.

[THE PROPHET]

I personally use baby wipes "ahh, so fresh". My baby wipes go quick though......because i share them with my 8 month old nephew lmao! It doesn't help that he drops a duece 95 times a day.

[SimpleS14]

Well I'm not speaking for all women, but some women out there like to take toilet paper and cover the seat before they sit down (some times its double layered). Also after going #1 some sheets can be lightly moisted to pat on the vag, followed by more sheets to dry it up. I mention #1 cause its most frequently used vs. #2...but the same applies (in fact moreso). Last, but not least, sheets can be used to cover the hands while turning on the sink and flushing the toilet.

[ThatGuy]

^There shouldn't be any need for an "ass gasket" in the house you're living in. That is a neccesity reserved for public restrooms.

[Brian]

ah I see...
simples14 thanks. You gave the most info.

[theicecreamdan]

In my experience, women use the fuck out of toilet paper.

[Brian]

Now we're talking!

[Om1kron]

i've accepted the fact women bunch and do not fold.

[SimpleS14]

^There shouldn't be any need for an "ass gasket" in the house you're living in. That is a neccesity reserved for public restrooms.

You would think so, but if the house is being shared with various people (non-family) its a different story.

Also guest visiting the house will do this, if it's their habit.

[Brian]

simple, I assume you are a female, yes?

[ALTRNTV]

simple, I assume you are a female, yes?
LMAOOOOO :keke:

[VAs13]

simple, I assume you are a female, yes?

haha simple is not a female


this thread is very entertaining aswell

[Brian]

That's what I gathered.... ?

edit - oh, woops. sorry!

[HalveBlue]

I come from a family of three boys and three girls. A roll of TP has a one day life span in our household.

But it's coo': Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

You know what's not cool though?

Not replacing the roll after you've used the last sheet.

I hate taking a deuce only to see some anorexic piece of cardboard hanging on the wall.

That's just disrespectful.

Also...

I get thrown into a murderous rage when replace an empty roll and don't use the correct "over hand" method to install it.

Not cool.

Not cool, at all.

[Brian]

I need a LADY opinion in here.

[ALTRNTV]

Wait for Lisa.

:lfault:

[w0nderbr3ad]

Baby wipes are awesome. So fresh feeling. You don't even want to know what using "tabo and water" means
(for the Filipinos). :keke:

I use Charmin by the way if I don't have wipes.

I have a tabo in every bathroom. Grandma uses it in the shower hahaa. She's old school but saves me from buying extra tp.

[ALTRNTV]

I have a tabo in every bathroom. Grandma uses it in the shower hahaa. She's old school but saves me from buying extra tp.
That's another thing, old school Filipinos use the tabo to take baths. Fill up the bucket with hot and cold water and
that's their bath. Fuck that, I like my water constantly coming out of the shower head. :wavey:

[allntrlundrgrnd]

i miss quality TP.

college ftl

[Farzam]

Everyone likes to clean their ass with something soft

Don't be stingy with your TP

A Public Service Announcement brought to you by Americans for Clean Bungholes

[SimpleS14]

simple, I assume you are a female, yes?

lol, no. I just like using a female avatar ha

I have a lot of female friends, so this is where I got the info from. Yes....I know a few set of girls that will go that deep with info to me.

I also lived with twin sisters, and for a few years lived with a step sister.

[Brian]

alright. I understand now.

:)

[emersonLP]

As I see it there are 2 types of people in the world: Folders and Rollers

The Folders are conscious of the value of a good roll of TP and will treat good TP as good TP should be treated. In order to fit this classification of person, the individual will roll out no more than 4 squares, fold in half, and fold in half once more to create a 1 square size sheet that is 4 sheets thick to increase softness and avoid tearing. Wipe and repeat as necessary until clean (optional final wipe with a baby wipe for the real enthusiasts).

Now the denizens of the bathroom world: Rollers.

Rollers will grab the end of the paper with one hand and spin their hand around to roll an ungodly amount of paper around it, slide their hand out and use the newly-formed wad of paper. This is perhaps a symptom of impatience or selfishness. In either case, this method effectively doubles or triples the paper consumption and can cause dangerous shortages.

I had a roommate who was a Roller. When it was my turn to buy supplies, I would buy the cheap stuff for the dispenser and hide a soft roll in a drawer ;-)

[Brian]

Interesting analysis, Emerson lake and palmer.

I think our roomates might be rollers. SUPREME rollers at that.

[BustedS13]

As I see it there are 2 types of people in the world: Folders and Rollers

The Folders are conscious of the value of a good roll of TP and will treat good TP as good TP should be treated. In order to fit this classification of person, the individual will roll out no more than 4 squares, fold in half, and fold in half once more to create a 1 square size sheet that is 4 sheets thick to increase softness and avoid tearing. Wipe and repeat as necessary until clean (optional final wipe with a baby wipe for the real enthusiasts).

Now the denizens of the bathroom world: Rollers.

Rollers will grab the end of the paper with one hand and spin their hand around to roll an ungodly amount of paper around it, slide their hand out and use the newly-formed wad of paper. This is perhaps a symptom of impatience or selfishness. In either case, this method effectively doubles or triples the paper consumption and can cause dangerous shortages.

I had a roommate who was a Roller. When it was my turn to buy supplies, I would buy the cheap stuff for the dispenser and hide a soft roll in a drawer ;-)

i was a roller exactly as you described when i was a kid. then i stopped being an asshole

[DOOK]

I have crohn's disease... I use a lot of TP and I'm pretty stingy about the amount I use for each wipe... I just have to wipe a lot and I got to the bathroom 6-8 times a day... I also finalize the wiping process with a moist baby wipe... so fresh and so clean

[JeremyR]

i'm a roller. i'll admit it.

but i buy my own tp and don't have to share, so i'm not hurting anyone :)

[s14unimog]

Ah David, you always come through in the clutch with a certain expertise and gracefulness.

As for the subject at hand, I think you need to shorten your TP check intervals. As embarrassing as it may be, rushing in right after the suspected culprit uses the facilities, may be your only way to get closure.

Don't get me started on paper towels.....:rant:

[BustedS13]

I have crohn's disease... I use a lot of TP and I'm pretty stingy about the amount I use for each wipe... I just have to wipe a lot and I got to the bathroom 6-8 times a day... I also finalize the wiping process with a moist baby wipe... so fresh and so clean

:ughug: :hyper: :ughd::goyou:

[C. Senor]

start going to costco. its like 32 rolls for like 17 bucks. double ply. pretty soft. that's what i use. i use a lot of tp too. sometimes it just seems like the doo doo doesn't want to go away. but i have intestinal tract problems from time to time. and have to take pills for it. i fold too. but tp just goes away.

the guy that mentioned the "over-hand" method of putting the paper back on the roller, that made me laugh cuz i'm the same way.

[Brian]

No. I hate costco. TOO many disgusting people there. Stupid clusters of families going there just to get free food. gross. No thanks. I HATE IT.

:)

I'll continue buying me cottenelle, but I'll keep it to myself now.

[Jordn]

BH, I'm taking your paper dude, sorry.

I'm a guilty roller. And I'm THOROUGH when I wipe. Two flushes thorough.

I like the baby wipes idea, I'm gonna try that. I'll post back with how I get on.

[C. Senor]

that's why you go there, in the afternoon on a weekday. i go there then, hardly any people. if you go in the morning time when they have the food and weekends, then it can be like going to walmart. which i hate and dont go to. unless it's midnight and i absolutely need something.

[Brian]

If I don't go there at all, no hassle, ever. :)

[HyperTek]

i have started a habit of checking the seat and wiping it of any liquids.. live in a 1 bathroom house now with my folks and this was never the case when i had my own bathroom at our hold place. No one has any problems, its just occasionally there might be a drop or too. lol

Is your trash bin filling up with toilet paper? thats another issue right there.. luckily this only appears to happen when we have guests lol.

[Brian]

Not really.
The trash can is right next to the bath tissue holder.

[HyperTek]

i remember there was a thread about guests who toss tp in the trash instead of flushing it down. lol

[ZX88]

BH i think the only explanation is ghosts. gtfo outta there they are stealing your tp!

[Erjay1]

Its true, women use alot of TP. I live with 2 girls and we go thru tp real quick. I go maybe twice a day and that roll doesnt last long. Good thing is they hate baby wipes so when I do remember to buy some, I get them all to myself. Baby Wipes FTW!

[Brian]

Yeah, I figure it must be the other girl that uses so much.

lol, I just recently learned that girls used bath tissue when they do some pee pee. I always figured they just threw down the peace sign, spread, and shot out a solid stream like WE do. No cleanup necessary. I was so surprised to find out the truth!

[DUFFM4N]

am i the only one who doesnt like super soft TP? sometimes it just spreads that shit around (literally) then i end up finding myself using a lot

Costco Pom40 FTW

the wife hates that i like "rough" TP

[C. Senor]

Yeah, I figure it must be the other girl that uses so much.

lol, I just recently learned that girls used bath tissue when they do some pee pee. I always figured they just threw down the peace sign, spread, and shot out a solid stream like WE do. No cleanup necessary. I was so surprised to find out the truth!

lol. i've had that discussion before. shit is funny.

[rubenbandman]

am i the only one who doesnt like super soft TP? sometimes it just spreads that shit around (literally) then i end up finding myself using a lot

Costco Pom40 FTW

the wife hates that i like "rough" TP
when its too soft it rips too easily so you need to use HELLA
annoys me how fast it goes in my house...
need something more...something better
hmmmmm
how are baby wipes...

[ZX88]

Yeah, I figure it must be the other girl that uses so much.

lol, I just recently learned that girls used bath tissue when they do some pee pee. I always figured they just threw down the peace sign, spread, and shot out a solid stream like WE do. No cleanup necessary. I was so surprised to find out the truth!

lol peace sign.:rofl:

[FaLKoN240]

I lul'd a lot in this thread.

My family is pretty good about being conservative with the TP.

I don't remember when I started being stingy with it, but I use 3 squares each wipe, and I wipe twice.

My ex-girlfriend used a TON of TP.

My mom and I both noticed so I mentioned it to her, but never saw her method, I thought nothing of it.

New gf however doesn't use a lot so I haven't mentioned it to her.

[lflkajfj12123]

3 squares folded into the size of 1

3 wipes

flush

[playthe_part]

this is a pretty funny read. never had a problem like this but i will tell you what i would do, i got the idea from a picture i saw awhile ago.

leave an empty roll, and on the cardboard write "sucks for you(r) asshole." that may or may not get a point across.

[ryguy]

You guys do the wet wipes process backwards from me. I wipe with the wet one first, and then when the poop chute is all wet from the first wipe the contrast of the dry toilet paper seems to get the job done completely. Before I used to wipe like 20 times, though I only used two or three folded sheets at a time, but the wipe-with-the-wet-wipe-first process really cut down on my tp use.

Oh, and on the subject of throwing the used paper in the garbage instead of flushing it, some of the illegal mexicans who work where I work do this. Its enough to make me throw up. Is it a cultural thing?

[Matej]

Hah I go through a roll by myself in two days. Being clean feels nice.

Don't stop until you see blood. Then use about ten more sheets just to be sure.

Also, I throw a bunch of sheets in the water first, to prevent the dreaded act of splashing. And I use a sheet or two after I go #1.

[5150Fab]

HAHA the roller thing is so true. im guilty. Im not an :mrmeph:, just would rather be safe than sorry.:D

Ill kill a roll about every 8 hours.

[S13_Nightkid]

^^^the hell? i fold my shit. baby wipes every once in awhile. Only problem i have is when people dont replace the roll when its done and i have to yell for tp or wobble to the nearest cabinet.

[Twinchy]

Hey Brian just leave a roll of Brawn paper towels in the bathroom and see how long it takes your roomates to finish that shit and keep your stash of cottendelle tp with you in your room

i had that problem before in my old place my roomates would devour that tp like it was food or some shit so i jusy kept my stash in my rom in the closet

[sillyvia13]

I rock baby wipes... I laugh at the roll when its empty! hahaha people FREAK! I am like hey use a balla wipe, "ewwww" no way! lol


You got a shitty ghost bro... let him wipe...

Do tell whats the problem tho!

[sillyvia13]

^^^the hell? i fold my shit. baby wipes every once in awhile. Only problem i have is when people dont replace the roll when its done and i have to yell for tp or wobble to the nearest cabinet.

Those are the WORST! hoping your friends/relatives/WHO ever the fuck swings by dont catch ya! lmao!!!!


To funny...
Thanks for the Smile brain. You are one fucked man, I bet beers and you be a good time.

[Bubbles]

Take out the toilet paper and replace it with a bag of leaves.

I hate those dumps where you wipe 20 times and you still feel dirty, you have to take a shower just to feel clean.

[treken2t87]

Luckily I got my own bathroom connected to my bedroom in my apartment. I used to let guests use MY restroom instead of the one in the extra bedroom, until I noticed how fast that shit got used up (Charmin Plus is expensive)...now I kindly let them know if they have to use the restroom to use the other one (so I get the good stuff to myself)

[jamben]

blame mr hanky

http://msfriendly.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/mr_hankey_the_christmas_poo_by_stac.jpg

[Bubbles]

My ex-girlfriend used a TON of TP.

My mom and I both noticed so I mentioned it to her

I would have liked to been there to hear that conversation.

[HalveBlue]

True story: I used to have an emergency Toilet Paper reserve when I lived in the barracks.

Why?

Government TP.

It's the same kind that all the big restaurants and gas stations and such use. You know the kind:

-Recycled
-Comes in big rolls
-No perforations to neatly detach the squares.
-THIN as all get out

I fucking HATE!!! government TP.

I eventually convinced our unit's Supply Sergeant to spring for some decent poopy paper.

[ESmorz]

The elusive "Sleep Walking Shit"

[Brian]

update


We put in a brand new roll last night before bed.
I haven't even used it. She used it once.

I got home at 5:30 today and the whole thing is gone.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[bardabe]

^^^lmao pwned

[xtreme_s14]

update


We put in a brand new roll last night before bed.
I haven't even used it. She used it once.

I got home at 5:30 today and the whole thing is gone.

Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

someone's messing with you! time to evade your roommate's privacy! put a camera in the bathroom!

[HyperTek]

haha how is this thread still open talking about chit.. and the f u picture thread gets locked up because people drew penises lol


brian maybe get some itching powder and sprinkle it all over the tp? lmao
Anyone got a runny nose? they could be grabbing tp instead of tissues

[ESmorz]

Your roommate is a chronic masturbator.

[Brian]

Hyper - There is nothing wrong with this thread.
It is possible that somebody has a runny nose... but it wouldn't last 6 months would it???

[Twinchy]

they have a leaky asshole thats what.. im surprised you dont have a clogged toliet or maybe they flush like a billion times when your not there

[Matej]

You're probably using it but you don't know about it, Tyler Durden.

[alindeman1989]

maybe your sleep shittying and dont know it. lol

[lilaznjeff]

Some people overused the amount of toiletpaper that is needed.
Some people wipe off jizz and other body fluids with toilet paper.
Some people have fucked up sinuses and use a shit load.
Some people like to clean and wipe off the area before they sit down.
Some people like to use toilet paper to clean their shavings off the kitchen sink.
Some people like make gaskets over the seat before they sit.
Men and women that want to feel extra clean will use an excessive amount of TP.

WE NEED TP FOR OUR BUTTHOLES!

[RiversideS13]

maybe someone shit too hard and the water splash back to his/her ass, so the person would need to use more paper?

[lilaznjeff]

Don't you fucking hate...when....

You sit down and you automatically assumed there WAS toilet paper on the roll...

and you start shitting. And you realized there ISN'T any at all. So now you got to strategicly hold your cheeks together while you stand up and walk to your cabinet hoping that you don't drop bombs.


or when....you have to take a fat shit, and you know that's the last of the toilet paper which is barely hanging on to the roll. So you use it very very conservatively praying it doesn't rip as you wipe!

hahahahahhaahhahahahahaahahaha

[ESmorz]

Don't you fucking hate...when....

You sit down and you automatically assumed there WAS toilet paper on the roll...

and you start shitting. And you realized there ISN'T any at all. So now you got to strategicly hold your cheeks together while you stand up and walk to your cabinet hoping that you don't drop bombs.


or when....you have to take a fat shit, and you know that's the last of the toilet paper which is barely hanging on to the roll. So you use it very very conservatively praying it doesn't rip as you wipe!

hahahahahhaahhahahahahaahahaha

Or you could just take the shit. Put your pants back on, get the toilet paper, and wipe.

:2f2f:

[soreballz]

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/2257/CornholioMovie.jpg

You know whats the best kind of dump to take? The only that is sooo perfect that you don't even have to wipe.
But those dumps are rare as fuck.


Slightly OT: Yesterday, I was taking a dump at work; It came out so long and perfect that the end of it was buried as deep into the toilet as it could be, WHILE it was still coming out. So, since it wasn't dropping, I pinched it off, and it fell forward and slapped my ballsack.
Shitty balls FTL.

[charlie321]

i can't believe i just read this whole thread LOLOLOLOL, however, i managed to learn new techniques of bathroom tp usage, thank you?

[punk138]

my ex used to bundle up the tp just to wipe! :mad:

i use 3 or 4 squares per deuce depending on the circumstances.

[C. Senor]

LOL at fucking kyle. that was completely unnecessary.

[ryguy]

http://www.talkingpresents.com/v/vspfiles/photos/Recordable_Toilet_Paper_Holder-2.jpg

Get one of these, it's a recordable talking toilet paper holder. Record something like "quit using so much goddamn toilet paper." That way you wont have to feel awkward confronting them about their wiping habits and they'll probably be too embarrassed to bring it up to you. After that they'll be more conscious of their waste of paper, and in the long run you'll recoup the cost of the talking toilet paper roll.

Talking Recordable Toilet Paper roll (http://www.talkingpresents.com/Talking-Recordable-Toilet-Paper-roll-p/recordable_toilet_paper_holder.htm)

[mRclARK1]

I bet they're using TP for cleanup duty after sexy time.

I used to use like 3-4 squares per deuce thanks to my learned TP discipline (courtesy USMC). Having no TP in the field because you were wasteful is not a fun thing.

Agreed. Lots of TP to clean up what a shower would take down the drain in a few seconds.

Leafs... nature's TP. Just make sure you use a safe kind. :keke:

The runnier it is, the more it takes to clean up. I'd just ask them straight up "Either of you having some gastrointestinal problems? Diarrhea? Just trying to account for generous TP usage you know... Remember, it's always considerate to "spare a square" for whoever comes next, and they'll change the roll... K thanks."

[deolio]

my ex's room mate never bought toilet paper for the 4 months they lived together, so the last week, my ex just used kleenex and the last day her room mate used my ex's towel for her shitty/bloody pussy... buy tp...

[fliprayzin240sx]

Man, I'd kill for some soft TP!!! All we got out here in Iraq are TP that are so rough, they might as well be 40 grit sandpaper.

[Antihero983]

Not so much with toilet paper, but with food at my place.

We have a roommate who is jobless, and he just sits home and fucking consumes EVERYTHING. So my other roommate and I just keep our supplies in our respective rooms until January when we all move out of this shithole.

Although he does always seem to use the last piece on the roll and just leave the fucking empty roll on the holder.

[imnotmatt1189]

Slightly OT: Yesterday, I was taking a dump at work; It came out so long and perfect that the end of it was buried as deep into the toilet as it could be, WHILE it was still coming out. So, since it wasn't dropping, I pinched it off, and it fell forward and slapped my ballsack.
Shitty balls FTL.

HAHAHAHHAHA OMGAWD I lul'd

this thread is win

[Brian]

No, you just killed it with those stupid words.
"omgawd"
"lul'd"

"this thread is win"


I will not accept this terrible grammar.

Thread locked now.