11-01-08 Andruke wrecking crew + Gsxrjordan in san jose

[blu808]

Since Gsxrjordan is in san jose this weekend, Andrew and I are going to meet up, hit the town (sj, sc, campbell) and cause some trouble.

If any zilvians are bored and want to have a really random drunken night hit me up.


4o8 5I5 9S98

[Andrew Bohan]

wow you guys fail


last night was teh funz, except for the fat shemales jeff tried to pick up at the biker bar

and when i drove him all the way back to his hotel cuz he was too drunk to drive, then when we got there, he was all freaked out cuz he didn't have his rental car for the morning, so i drove him all the way back to luke's house

[blu808]

we went to a biker bar?


All i remember after the hwy9 run in the hurricane, and pissing off that teacher at one of the campbell bars was those cops who were pissed off at jeff for blowing cigar smoke at them.


Ohh and that i tried to ditch my bill for the grill cheese samwich.

[Andrew Bohan]

yeah after cardinal we went's to steve's biker bar where that cute dog usually hangs out and the lights are always too bright.

any damage to the gto from hitting all those big rocks in the road?

[blu808]

I haven't looked yet.

Did I goto stevies? I dont even remember.

[Andrew Bohan]

yeah we just went there to piss, and tried to leave but jeff was hittin on the shemales tryin to get em to get in the car with us. lmao

[GSXRJJordan]

yeah we just went there to piss, and tried to leave but jeff was hittin on the shemales tryin to get em to get in the car with us. lmao

HAHAHA lies!

THE ANDRUKE EXPERIENCE or, GSXRJJordan goes to NorCal

So I had to go to San Jose for work (to do a training at Microcenter), and figured I'd hit up the Norcal Zilvians for a good time. Tried PM'n Anthony, but saw he got banned? Anyway, got a hold of Luke and he totally set it up. Andrew and I met at Luke's place, and set off in the GTO.

Hwy 9 was cool - except there was a fucking monsoon, no visibility, and huge rocks and trees and crap in the road. The GTO is not exactly a togue machine. We made it to Luke's shop - BAD ASS! - and checked shit out, drank half a bottle of vodka (Andrew and Luke apparently drink it straight up with a Sprite chaser, I totally had to raid the fridge for something to mix in), and got on our way. Luke should have a couple pictures.

The bar scene was super lame - no one was out (rain, day after halloween, whatever the excuse), but then again we got a SUPER early start. By about the 4th bar we went to, we found a place with people and proceeded to piss everyone off lol. This is where my recollection becomes spotty, as the drinking pace was set early, and set fast.

There were no shemales, just a couple semi-cute girls that looked like they may be shopping for penis - Andruke penis. For the record, I was just trying to hook "Team Andruke" up, or at least add some female passengers on the Andruke Train to Mayhem - I had/have the hottest girl in the world waiting for me at home :) Apparently there were some cops bitching about Luke smoking a cigar outside, so I thought it prudent to take the cigar and smoke it right in front of them... I dont smoke cigars?!? lol. Somewhere along the line Luke decided he'd walk out on a bill at some bar, except they know him by name... all in all, alcohol FTW. Oh, and these two guys have a shit ton of stories involving poo. REMARKABLE amount. They got some messed up pictures too, I wish I could find em...

So yeah, then I got a ride to my super swank hotel, but needed my rental car, so had to get a ride back to Lukes - thanks Drew! Then my phone died (so no GPS), and I got lost (literally a fucking monsoon, so much rain, and I don't know Norcal at all), and had to stop at some 7-11 or something and get conflicting directions from whatever crackheads hang out in front of 7-11 at 2:30am.

Then I woke up in my hotel room, with my keys/cell phone/wallet/pants/etc all where they were supposed to be. That's called a sucessful trip :bigok: I'd like excuses for why no one else came for anyone within a 30mi radius of San Jose. Thx.

Cliff Notes: Andrew and Luke are awesome, all other Norcal Zilvians need to come out and party more, Norcal can be fun, GTO's aren't togue cars, and it rains in Norcal like crazy hard all the time apparently.

[Andrew Bohan]

hey asshole it was sunny today!


and who can forget this part?

we're talking to some lady who is not interested at all, then a guy come by.
guy: "OHH i see you're talking to my WIFE"

one of us: "haha not anymore"
another one of us "who brings their wife to a shitty bar anyway?"


(several minutes go by)





luke: "...and her butthole is so loose you can double fist it and she wouldn't notice. you know how most girls have a starfish? well hers is like this "
(luke makes a weird hand shape that resembles a cross between a broken volcano and an LS1 intake manifold)

lady: "oh my god! you guys are so vulgar! just stop it!"
(and like 3 more minutes of complaints like this. then she turned around)
(then the guy gave us the "haha you got bitched at" look)

then they moved to the other end of the bar later on and the bartender said "whew the bitch is gone" and we all gave him high fives and told him the story about when i took pics of luke having sex with his friend's girlfriend.

[GSXRJJordan]

^^^ HAHA yeah I can't believe I left that out!!! That shit was hilarious, I totally forgot that the anal-double-fisting comment was the one that pushed her over the edge.

That bartender was cool as shit too, but what would I know? I'm from socal - *douchbag* lol.

[blu808]

Dude that was a fun time. You left out the part about us blasting mariachi music in the gto and almost getting 3 fat girls to come home with us.

You also left out the part of my personal tour guide service to santa cruz today.

[Andrew Bohan]

what? you guys went to santa cruz today?

[blu808]

yea. why do you think i asked you what you had planned today?

[GSXRJJordan]

Haha yeah! I had some time to kill, so the Lukester blew off some family plans to show me Santa Cruz - totally different than San Jose.

We saw a whole like 100-person hippie-fest with "NO ON 8" signs/banners/songs/etc while we were gettin gas for the F250, which is actually a totally sweet truck, and then cruised down to Santa Cruz and checked out the boardwalk and all that - mad crackheads, like Salton Sea style... just everywhere, in the middle of teh day lol. Then we rolled up to UCSC and saw taht, totally different than any UC I'd seen - all spread out with farm buildings and shit serving as the college. Oh, and ugly girls - saw quite a few of those.

Totally fun stuff.

[azndoc]

Is NorCal really that much fun?

Seems like I really need to take a trip up there.

[GSXRJJordan]

Dude, we're bringing Norcal down here!!! Andruke has been invited to come down - we'll party it up like it's 2004 and drifting isn't played out!

[Andrew Bohan]

i wanna party like it's 2000 and only 3 people know what drifting is

[azndoc]

Norcal can't handle Socal.

We do things like.....

Shit I don't do anything.

I had drinks on Friday though.

Went clubbing after six months of not going.

I'm old.

[GSXRJJordan]

Haha Drew and Luke are like 45, they redefine old.

We'll give them a good time enema if they come down, like, more good times than they can handle - so much good time, we have to shove it up their asses and shit.

No homo.