Telemarketers...

[Phlip]

I was changing my oil in my carport Saturday and I was home alone... The phone rings and I run in the house (why the hell didn't I bring it out with me) and it was a telemarketer AT 9:30 ON A SATURDAY MORNING and I was brainstorming on how I was going to carry this one.
Now for the bright idea:
Pit bull starts barking his head off as a car pulls into the curb market next door to my house.
Me: S**T!!! Moe, get back over here!!! *to the telemarketer* "Can you hold on a second?
Her: Sure!
I then put the phone down and Moe hadn't moved an inch beyond where his chain would let him go, and returned to changing my oil, making sure my cell phone was on incase someone really needed me and my plan was to leave the telemarketer on hold until SHE hung up, which she did almost 30 minutes later, never to call back...
You guys should try it sometime.:D

[Steeles]

I do that when they call and ask to speak to whoever (usually the GF father no idea why he dont live there but I digress) i say just a sec and put the phone down and go on with whatever

[xLSTONEx]

ok

[West]

How to deal with phone pests

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed
for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say,
"Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can
tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one
these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are
sore, my dog just died..."

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary

4. This works great if you are male:
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with
XYZ Company..."
You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice
ask, "What are you wearing?"

5. Cry out in surprise," Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give
Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to
figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound
of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as
they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you
can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as
you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be
my friend

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out
blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about
HUMAN blood?

9. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to
marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that
you could not just give your credit card number to
a complete stranger.

10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same
company, they often can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a
Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream,
"Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and
ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME
phone number so you can call him/her back. When
the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot
give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess
you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"
The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you
know how I feel!" Hang up.

13.Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

14.Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would
please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while
you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food
loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration"
and ask if they could bring you some beer.

16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up
a number.

17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But
I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing
a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon,
how's your momma?"

19 Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need
to speak up... louder... louder...louder...

20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want
to write EVERY WORD down.

[Foxcolt]

They wake me up every so often on sat mornings, here's how the conversation usually goes.

Me: Helllo???
TM: Hi this is so and so from this and that
Me: (cuts him/her off) Do you have any idea what f**king time it is!?!?
TM: It's 9:30 am
Me: Do you have any idea what the f**K I'm doing right now
TM: Sleeping??
Me: So why the F**K are you calling me??? Put me on your no call list and DON' CALL BACK
TM: It takes 3-4 weeks to be put on the no call list (click) hello?? Hello?

Usually I don't like to curse at people over the phone however I've been known to be pretty mean when someone wakes me up:D

[AutoDestruct]

You tell them to please remove you from the calling list. If they call again you can take legal action against them for harrasment. It might be a pain in the ass but it is the only true way.

I should know as I used to be one. Yes, I am in league with the devil, I know. It was a few years ago, but I can still vividly recall those most heinous times. :D What fun!!

[silnv]

I like to keep them thinkin that they are gonna make a sale then after about a half hour of bull**** they get denied. Haha so much fun

[Bbandit]

its good to know that im not the only one who talks rude to telemarketers:D

[whateverjames]

my house is on a 'no call list'. all of the telemarketing companies are given a list of houses not to call. if they call my house, they are fined $5,000 if we file a complaint. we wouldn't do that unless they called more than once. sheit, you have to hear my mom when a telemarketer calls accidently (which is extremely rare anymore), she turns into satan in a matter of seconds.

[Steeles]

My dad tells um anything. His favorite is trying to sell them stuff. or trade them. like a carpet cleaning company called and he was like well we have all hardwood floors. and they went we do those too so dad tried to talk them into buying brooms and mops from us (which is what my fathers company sells). he talked to one lady for an hour about absolutely nothing. she was trying to sell long distance service to him he said we only had payphones in the house...

[X-Iceman]

lol, ya damn telemarkets. most are ex cons, i mean who wants that job. a cruel thing to do to someone you highly dislike is to add their number to a telemarketer numbers, but only on extreme situations. ;)

[96SEChick]

I guess their cutoff time is 9pm because many times, the only TM calls that come to our house is at like 8:55pm. I just don't answer the phone, or "accidentally" hang up before saying "hello."

[thelinja]

When I'm at my house and a telelmarketer calls I usually act like I don't speak english. They eventually hang up.

[Phlip]

Originally posted by thelinja
When I'm at my house and a telelmarketer calls I usually act like I don't speak english. They eventually hang up.
That's an idea, next one to call me will get all spanish, when they get someone bilingual, I'll hang up... I work (inbound calls) customer care for a cell phone company, I actually get satisfaction from doing this to people on the phone for the s**t I have to put up with day to day...

[-E-]

get Telezapper (http://www.discount-electronic.com/misc/telezapper_2.jpg) that mofo ****ing works!

[AutoDestruct]

Ex-Con is right, It's all about revenge. Hey PHLIP, Att by chance. I used to do that same **** when I got the chance to turn the tables to. It's all in fun, people's. Just trying to make life like a game, get some fun back out of it

[Phlip]

Originally posted by AutoDestruct
Ex-Con is right, It's all about revenge. Hey PHLIP, Att by chance. I used to do that same **** when I got the chance to turn the tables to. It's all in fun, people's. Just trying to make life like a game, get some fun back out of it
Yeah, I work for AT&T wireless, good guess...

[bmaston]

yeah i work for ATT too, good old inbound long distance, and anyone else that works at ATT find that its mainly billing problems? oh yeah having the person wait on the phone for an hour, then reaching me who they don't want,then being transferred somewhere else probably makes them extremely happy...

[AutoDestruct]

It was almost always billing with wireless. Hurry up and get that cust. off the phone. but make sure you solved every one of those problems. :confused: It was like having a second set of parents telling me to do two contradictory things at once. The girls I worked with were hot as f*ck though, training was like high school. O those were the days.

[bmaston]

Here too, I mean jeezus, it seems like only hot chicks are allowed to work here...this is better than high school lol.

[negular]

Originally posted by bmaston
it seems like only hot chicks are allowed to work here...

I thought they were fat chicks that just sounded hot

[Baka Sama]

HEY!! Im going on an interview to be a telemarketer soon... 10/hr plus bonus!!

Thanks for all the ideas on telemarketing tricks. Now if someone tries that crap on me I can come up with a good reply. :p