When its ok and when its not...

[Bobafreak]

So after this incident i thought i needed to set some rules on whats ok and whats not ok. Heres the story. So im in bed laying down my girls not feelin so good and is kinda sick so im usually cuddling with her in bed and she throws down this 4 second raspy fart and laughed i seriously was grossed out and was like ehh ok but then the smell crept up into my nose and that was not hot.

I walked out my room took the other blanket and slept on the couch watching real world. This has never happened before and i guess being with someone for 5 yrs its supposed to be ok? I just feel that at times things should be taken to the rest room that being one of them. Anyone have something interesting of that nature or similar?

[SW20Racer]

you need to wait till she is eating then back your ass up to her face and just shit your pants like its the cool thing to do.

if mine did that to me, i'd dead leg her before she could finish farting.

[kouki_silvia]

damn! yeah i dont think that was ok...but then again, you live with her so maybe she got real used to you. its kind of a good thing though since now you know she doesnt hide ANYTHING from you:keke:

[azndoc]

UMmmm yeah that's not cool.

Girls aren't suppose to fart or take shits in front of guys.

She's feeling too comfortable around you.

Next thing you know she's going to gain like 100lbs.

When women feel comfortable around you, they let themselves go.

[SW20Racer]

When women feel comfortable around you, they let themselves go.

truth. you better regulate.

[steve shadows]

So after this incident i thought i needed to set some rules on whats ok and whats not ok. Heres the story. So im in bed laying down my girls not feelin so good and is kinda sick so im usually cuddling with her in bed and she throws down this 4 second raspy fart and laughed i seriously was grossed out and was like ehh ok but then the smell crept up into my nose and that was not hot.



I would have broken it off right then

[exitspeed]

Yea that isn't cool.

I don't like thinking of girls doing that stuff.

I personally like a girl who acts more like a lady and is feminine.

[Bobafreak]

Ok i thought i was right i mean it was so fluckin weird cause you know its silent then all of a sudden this rip and im thinking in my head ok please tell me she did not just do that. I mean sometimes ill mess around and do something stupid when shes standing somewhere im at ill straight rip one and blame it on my son or something just being funny. But that right there was out of line.

The next morning it was very silent between us. I know she knows she fucked up because she made me breakfast.

[Antihero983]

eh breakfast isnt good enough.

i say threesome or she gets the fuck out. lol

my gf farts in front of me sometimes, and im like SERIOUSLY?! CMON.

she doesnt do it when our roommates are around thank god.

[exitspeed]

eh breakfast isnt good enough.

i say threesome or she gets the fuck out. lol


Or IDB...wait, maybe not.

[s14_legend]

hah farting aint cool lol....especially while Zzzz ...

[Bobafreak]

azndoc you bring a good point. Im starting to see signs of "i dont give a fuckness" Shes starting to drink miller lights on occassions after work but shes still cleans and cooks and goes to work. Hm im getting mixed signals on her behavior. Im calling tom leykis.

[dert420sx]

wait till she starts takin a dump while you're in the shower....

[steve shadows]

i say threesome or she gets the fuck out. lol



Yeah, thats about fair.

[LongGrain]

i think you were hearing things..

everyone knows girls cant fart...they just dont have the right equipment.

[Bobafreak]

wait till she starts takin a dump while you're in the shower....

No i cut that shit out or when im in there and she wants to come in i told her thats not fly'n. That was the end of that. Btw shes cutting those pounds because i paid for her to have a personal trainer and gym membership to 24hour fitness.

I tried waiting around for rob to get another pass but i said fluck it. The reason why shes committing to it cause i said i cant lift her anymore and me saying damn jlo has two kids and still that bomb ass body on purpose or when Mariah Carey's "touch my body" song comes on i say comments like ohh shit ill do more than touch baby girl. She gets heated!

[azndoc]

I really do believe that women shouldn't do things like spit on the ground, fart in front of me, or tell me their going to take a shit.

I don't care to know that shit.

It's not lady like.

Now if its a friend that is a girl who I can't imagine me fuckiing or being with then fine she can do whatever she wants. But, that's because she'll be like one of the guys.

You don't want a girl that your dating to do shit like that.

It's not lady like at all.

Also you ever notice that after you break up with a girl. You see her a month later and she's banging I mean her looks and her body. She started off like that when you first started dating and she just let herself go. But, now that you've broken up with her she looks hot again so that she can find another man, which she would let herself go after a while.

So women don't let yourself go, stay in shape, be nice to us, clean my room, wash my clothes, cook for me, and have lots and lots of sex with us. Which will probably have you sticking around longer.

Enjoy your stay.

[dert420sx]

...So women don't let yourself go, stay in shape, be nice to us, clean my room, wash my clothes, cook for me, and have lots and lots of sex with us....

took the words right outta my mouth...

[Bobafreak]

^ Wow inspiration + rep. Its truth though she was always looking good but started slippin her excuse was because she worked alot she didnt want to finish laundry but she always cooked for me. I help around the house when i can im not a slob im very organized and i want it to stay that way.

I have cut out the sex even when shes got some good looking lingerie on and ill just act like ehh and flick channels and shell just go to bed knocked out sleep. I notice at times she can get super sexually fustrated if its been a week and shell wanna kill you. I dont know. I just hope my membership doesent go to waste.

[ronmcdon]

That's unacceptable. Its unsavory even if its coming from a guy. good manners should be taken into consideration regardless of sex. of course, accidents do happen but I think it's alright as long as it doesn't happen too often and if there's at least an apology afterwards.

a belch here and there, or other small stuff is no big deal. farting, and foul smelling ones (you know it when it comes) are just inexcusable imo. I don't dare do it around guy friends either. obviously it's bothering you if you're posting about it. you should probably make fun of her or something in a joking, non-confrontational manner.

[Phlip]

With the chick I am kinda, well, um... "seeing," I have a plan for the first time she tries that with me.
I'll put her on the spot... I am already to the point where if she blows her nose or something like that when I am in earshot where I will explain to her how sexy that was and request that she do it again... If she decides to let off a fart when I have not to this point (mainly because it would kill every plant in her house) I will immediately jump up and break character, yelling "high 5!"
Nothing drives the winds of change better than embarrassment

[TiNMAN]

my ex was very fuckin unclassy yo. farting, snoring, drooling, sloppy drunk, sits with her legs open at times, etc. i have no idea why i got back with her for the 2nd go round. such a downer. :duh: and she was only cute(baaaarely). i usually fly with dimes. :naughty:

[s13poop]

:fart:

farts make me laugh

after being with my girl for 2 years and 6 months i wouldn't fart in front of her niether did she around me

girls get too confortable around us after long periods of time and forget ther lady like morals its common such as gaining weight and being lazy/ sleeping too much

i guess the only way to really solve it is to talk about it.. motivate and demonstrate set up the example and i'm sure she'll follow through with what she wants

of course they'll get hurt but choose your words correctly and just explain yourself :D

[BustedS13]

a chick farting as a joke is one thing, i find that funny if it's somebody i'm comfortable with, mainly because it opens up the door to a dutch oven, and what's better than trapping a chick in your farts. but just being like "hey i have to fart, shit's gonna be loud" and blasting one not as a slapstick gag, that's not cool. oh, i'm sorry, you're not feeling good? tough shit, bathroom's right there.

cliffs: chick farts = only cool if it's a huge bomb and they laugh.

p.s. making little farts they could have easily held in and laughing: more annoying than a sad fart.

this is complicated.

now, everything i've said here is genuinely how i feel. but let me be very Dr. Drew and serious for a second.
if you plan on being in a SERIOUS, long term relationship, someone you could consider being with for a good long time, you both will NEED to be comfortable enough around each other to burp fart and everything else. i'm not saying take a shower while she takes a shit. but if you're not fully comfortable with somebody, that's never going to work out in the end.
so trap a chick under the covers and fart on her chest. if she laughs, she's a keeper. if she doesn't, let her run out of your house and don't bother calling

[TiNMAN]

it should be illegal for girls to fart

[stiizy]

UMmmm yeah that's not cool.

Girls aren't suppose to fart or take shits in front of guys.

She's feeling too comfortable around you.

Next thing you know she's going to gain like 100lbs.

When women feel comfortable around you, they let themselves go.

yeah i second that

[eastcoastS14]

hahahahah thats fuckin gross...my girl never farts around me, I dont even think she farts at all lol

but yeah thats def not right...in highschool a friend of mine had a girl that would rip ass all the time, there was 4 of us in a car waiting to pull into a mall parking lot and she let a silent one out, my boy just looked at her and was like thats gross....me and the other dude in the back smelled it and just got out of the car and walked to the entrance lol

[BustedS13]

hahahahah thats fuckin gross...my girl never farts around me, I dont even think she farts at all lol

but yeah thats def not right...in highschool a friend of mine had a girl that would rip ass all the time, there was 4 of us in a car waiting to pull into a mall parking lot and she let a silent one out, my boy just looked at her and was like thats gross....me and the other dude in the back smelled it and just got out of the car and walked to the entrance lol

okay, your girlfriend farting in front of you AND OTHER PEOPLE is NEVER EVER RIGHT EVER. that's a for certain. ugh

[lil240sx95]

haha well I think it's something natural I mean you fart in front of them too! so why can't they fart in front of you? I personally don't care, I'll just make fun for a bit then let it go it's not like if they're taking a shit in front of you.

[Bobafreak]

a chick farting as a joke is one thing, i find that funny if it's somebody i'm comfortable with, mainly because it opens up the door to a dutch oven, and what's better than trapping a chick in your farts. but just being like "hey i have to fart, shit's gonna be loud" and blasting one not as a slapstick gag, that's not cool. oh, i'm sorry, you're not feeling good? tough shit, bathroom's right there.

cliffs: chick farts = only cool if it's a huge bomb and they laugh.

p.s. making little farts they could have easily held in and laughing: more annoying than a sad fart.

this is complicated.

now, everything i've said here is genuinely how i feel. but let me be very Dr. Drew and serious for a second.
if you plan on being in a SERIOUS, long term relationship, someone you could consider being with for a good long time, you both will NEED to be comfortable enough around each other to burp fart and everything else. i'm not saying take a shower while she takes a shit. but if you're not fully comfortable with somebody, that's never going to work out in the end.
so trap a chick under the covers and fart on her chest. if she laughs, she's a keeper. if she doesn't, let her run out of your house and don't bother calling

Thats exactly what she did. She fuckin ripped one and laughed so hard and i was like wtf.......very unexpected then i tried to go to sleep but it came underneath the covers and i was like fuck this and took my comforter, pillow, and she was laughing. i slept in the living room. Seriously i am going to rip one bad on her face when she dead sleep. Ill go "hey" and when she wakes up just rip the shit out of one. Then see how she feels afterward.
Like i said we been together for 5 yrs and have a son and daughter. Shes is my keeper but it was akward since this has never happen before.

[BustedS13]

Thats exactly what she did. She fuckin ripped one and laughed so hard and i was like wtf.......very unexpected then i tried to go to sleep but it came underneath the covers and i was like fuck this and took my comforter, pillow, and she was laughing. i slept in the living room. Seriously i am going to rip on bad on her face when she dead sleep. Ill go "hey" and when she wakes up just rip the shit out of one. Then see how she feels afterward.
Like i said we been together for 5 yrs and have a son and daughter. Shes is my keeper but it was akward since this has never happen before.

then do the right thing dude. fart on her face and laugh

[txrxs]

This is why you keep different women in a cycle so that you never let them get comfortable enough to let themselves go...

[Baka Sama]

Set the example. You dont want a chick to fart, dont ever fart around her as a joke and she'll know your not cool with it. You think your girl has let herself go, hit the gym hard yourself and when she sees your 6pack she'll get the point. You did a good thing by getting her a personal trainer but I sure hope you look like (Insert male celeb) to be downing her so bad. Ive also learned from friends that cutting out sex is the fastest way to get your girl to cheat on you. Nothing should ever be punished in my mind to by lack of sex. When the sex is gone you tend to care a lot less on both sides.

I have never had a problem with farting girlfriends but I did have one girl let herself go. As big of a man I thought I was I had to break it off. She was only 20 and already starting to let herself go, I cant imagine what she would look like at 30. That whole relationship turned me away from "thick" girls.

[SW20Racer]

all these threads about people having problems with their bitches is wearing thin.

sounds like a lot of people here need this guys number

http://api.ning.com/files/8po9Dv2J3UNs-p34K6hOUCjKScY8V6GmDcAI3sCOjgQ_/A_Pimp_Named_Slickback.jpg

[Bobafreak]

Set the example. You dont want a chick to fart, dont ever fart around her as a joke and she'll know your not cool with it. You think your girl has let herself go, hit the gym hard yourself and when she sees your 6pack she'll get the point. You did a good thing by getting her a personal trainer but I sure hope you look like (Insert male celeb) to be downing her so bad. Ive also learned from friends that cutting out sex is the fastest way to get your girl to cheat on you. Nothing should ever be punished in my mind to by lack of sex. When the sex is gone you tend to care a lot less on both sides.

I have never had a problem with farting girlfriends but I did have one girl let herself go. As big of a man I thought I was I had to break it off. She was only 20 and already starting to let herself go, I cant imagine what she would look like at 30. That whole relationship turned me away from "thick" girls.

I go to the gym 2 or 3 days out of the week when my schedule is good or i work out at home. Im very slim i do have a 6 pack my metabolism is very high to begin with so i dont have a weight problem. I dont down her every time its just when im joking around after the discussion goes across of her wanting to work out because she talks about it but never commits and makes an excuse for it.

First she didnt want to pay that much for a membership she fount out 2 of her friends go now she wants to start going i get her a membership. Then she quotes how "ohh i dont know what to do start out on, oh i should quit now, etc etc so i go in talk to my friend alex whos an employee there BAM! Personal trainer!

Ill keep an update. I still want to fart in her face to call it even. Maybe ill let it slide and confront her about it when i get home.

[Bobafreak]

all these threads about people having problems with their bitches is wearing thin.

sounds like a lot of people here need this guys number

http://api.ning.com/files/8po9Dv2J3UNs-p34K6hOUCjKScY8V6GmDcAI3sCOjgQ_/A_Pimp_Named_Slickback.jpg

A pimp named slickback. lol god thats from the boondocks episode "guess hoes coming to dinner" Yes i am a boondocks fan. :bow:

[Antihero983]

"oh im sorry mr slickback"

"NO, you gotta say the whole name, like you know, a tribe called quest"

ROFLCOPTER.

i love that episode.

[jibanez]

farting is natural guy, deal with it...

[TiNMAN]

for girls its not! :aw:
























:keke:

[Bobafreak]

farting is natural guy, deal with it...

Yeah but to a certain extent.

[azndoc]

Hello boys and girls.

Come here sit down and let Uncle Jack introduce you to a fail safe method of teaching a girl a lesson.

It's call a butterball.

What you do is you eat as much weird shit that you know will let you have the most disgusting farts. Like almost wet farts. Farts that afterwards you think to yourself "shit should I check my pants?".

Then the moment you feel that you are about to let one out. You merely cup your hand and hold it next to your ass. Fart into your cupped hand and close hand once fart has been released into your palm.

Finally gently walk up to the person who is sleeping or not noticing and cup your hand around their nose. If the person is not cooperating with operation then merely gently apply choke hold if necessary.

Good luck.

[mRclARK1]

<--- sits anxiously at uncle Jacks feet :keke:

I'm a pretty good gentleman, even around a girl I may be dating comfortably, so I kinda expect she'll be a lady in return. lolz

I wouldn't get mad, but I'd probably find her less attractive for the next few hours... Or until I got even. :hahano:

[bmhossain]

I could not agree more uncle Jack. My old man always said trapping farts is the way to a womans heart. It shows you are resourceful and good with your hands. Always a big hit on a first date. :rawk:

[lflkajfj12123]

ughh yeah

i told my girlfriend that if she ever farted in the presence of me i'd dump her on the spot

i don't let her burp either if she does i usually leave her house and make her think about what she did haha

im all for being comfortable but i dont care how comfortable i am i still don't want to smell a fart or burp

i'm all for the lady like girly girls

[JVDSKYRINE]

Yeah dude my gf let one rip the other night while she was sleeping....it was nasty cuz it like touched my leg and stuff....i couldn't really get mad cuz she was sleeping...Plus i give her dutch ovens and farted in her face when she was walking up the stairs behind me

but seriously the comedic factor always helps ease the chick fart...Especially if they blame it on my dog cuz he does fart lots hahaha

I say if she farts once then its alright cuz its bound to happen eventually after 5 years? I would way rather have my gf fart on me then like the random guy in the elevator or the guy who farts in your face on an escalator

[Farzam]

What if your girl farted in front of you to make you realize you fart too much in front of her?

My best friend of 6 years, she's like a bro. Just a hot one. She farts all the time. It's fucking crucial. We'll be in her SE-R Spec V, and i'll see the windows roll down and she'll mutter "sorry"...at first I was like "what?" but now I know what's coming.

She also enjoys blowing up my bathroom. She'll walk out of the bathroom laughing saying shit like "DUDE I JUST DEPRECIATED YOUR HOUSE VALUE" (well she isn't clever enough like me to say shit like that but she makes some sort of funny remark).


IMO, if I do something in front of someone, I don't have much of an excuse to criticize them for it. Everybody poops. Farting is natural. Just cause someone lacks a penis doesn't mean i'm going to tell them to stop nature from taking it's course. And i'd never tell a woman to lose weight.

Luckily for me, girls understand and respect that there's things they do that I prefer them not to, so they return the respect by not doing it without me saying anything. And that's how I get better sexing than all of you :angel:

[azndoc]

^^^^ seriously that's why emo girls just rule.

I mean even farzam gets sex from them.

[Farzam]

^^^^ seriously that's why emo girls just rule.

I mean even farzam gets sex from them.

Ha-ha-ha

I don't date many scene chicks

I don't want an STD

[ESmorz]

^^^^ seriously that's why emo girls just rule.

I mean even farzam gets sex from them.

Most scene chicks are really girly-girly and not really fun at all. They're just like a cheerleader with different hair and raccoon eyes...

But... they're easy. So it's like whatever.

[k's_silvia2.0]

Iv'e been with my lady for six years now and every now and then one slips out from under her.She does apoligize and then we both laugh!
I wonder how old ill be till the sound of a fart don't make me laugh?

To Boba just explain to her that farting isn't one of the things you like about her.

[Gnnr]

When women feel comfortable around you, they let themselves go.

Uhuh, there is truth in this. You think if she was going out with like Brad Pitt or something she'd do that in front of him. Haha, hellll no! And she'd be doing everything in her power to keep him (like not letting herself go).

It goes both ways though, I see guys do that too. They let themselves go after being with a girl for a while and then when they break up, they're slobs that need to hit the gym to get "back in the game".

[yokotas13]

:shrug: my wife does that shit sometimes
i just fart back on her.

[gabe30]

Hello boys and girls.

Come here sit down and let Uncle Jack introduce you to a fail safe method of teaching a girl a lesson.

It's call a butterball.

What you do is you eat as much weird shit that you know will let you have the most disgusting farts. Like almost wet farts. Farts that afterwards you think to yourself "shit should I check my pants?".

Then the moment you feel that you are about to let one out. You merely cup your hand and hold it next to your ass. Fart into your cupped hand and close hand once fart has been released into your palm.

Finally gently walk up to the person who is sleeping or not noticing and cup your hand around their nose. If the person is not cooperating with operation then merely gently apply choke hold if necessary.

Good luck.

very simple.. old school-ish but effective :bowdown:

[Pank]

girls that wont fart in front of their boyfriends take themselves too seriously
a fart is a fart, who gives a fuck.
I just farted right now, and i'm at work.
glorious

[azndoc]

girls that wont fart in front of their boyfriends take themselves too seriously
a fart is a fart, who gives a fuck.
I just farted right now, and i'm at work.
glorious

And that's why no one will remember your name.

[lil240sx95]

girls that wont fart in front of their boyfriends take themselves too seriously
a fart is a fart, who gives a fuck.
I just farted right now, and i'm at work.
glorious

man speaks the truth! :bigok:

[iwishiwas-all*]

hahhahahahahahaa...... hold one 1 sec

hahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahah
hold on hold on....
hahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahah
ahahahahahhahahahahahahah

[lflkajfj12123]

i missed the joke

[eli_eli]

you guys are trippin...there is no such thing as a girl farting...

[azndoc]

you guys are trippin...there is no such thing as a girl farting...

Like they say.

If a tree falls in a forrest and there's no one around to hear it. Does it make a noise?

[k's_silvia2.0]

:shrug: my wife does that shit sometimes
i just fart back on her.

There you go....eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth.

[Farzam]

If a tree falls in a forrest and there's no one around to hear it. Does it make a noise?


Nope. Just a sound wave.

[eli_eli]

Like they say.

If a tree falls in a forrest and there's no one around to hear it. Does it make a noise?

well in this modern world which we live in its more like.....

"If a man screams out in a forest and there is no woman there to hear him...is he still wrong?"

[Dorifto89]

Grow up...its fucking flatulence.

[90hatchie]

i fart around gf all the time
i know shes farted around me cuz i could smell it but she wont admit it lol

[DWvinny]

2 words Dutch Oven ;)

[fliprayzin240sx]

You should have pulled the blanket over her head...

[Bobafreak]

I have decided to pull the dutch oven then we can discuss how wrong it is and how we should not do that again to each other cause its not right. Tonights dinner course. 3 chili dogs lots of pepsi and sprite.

Holding it all in during bed and make it rain with gas! Then smother her while i hold my breath and suffocate her under the covers with it and trying not to laugh so i don't kill myself.

Update tomorrow.

[DWvinny]

whoot!!! dont forget to get it on video!!

[illvialuver]

next time she goes down on you fart in her face or mouth, and that should make things even. just say eh, i feel comfortable around you.

[azndoc]

next time she goes down on you fart in her face or mouth, and that should make things even. just say eh, i feel comfortable around you.

Way to go.

That's just degrading.

I can't believe you would actually think of something like that to do to a girl.

What's wrong with you.

That's just taking it way too far.






**sarcasm**

[SW20Racer]

uncke jack had a pretty good idea, but too time consuming. my method is straight to the point and makes a lasting impression

http://masklinnscans.free.fr/4chan/Demotivators/cunt_punt.jpg

[S14Josh]

If you dont fart, you will EXPLODE!



http://www.gagme.com/greg/vacation/2006/disney/mgm51tn.jpg

Thats gonna suck if she catches your bedsheets on fire.

Bedsheets cost money.


On a serious note, i totally agree on the bedsheet gas chamber.

Smother her in her own farts. Catching your own farts in your hand is pretty cool though. Would only be more awesome if you could throw them like a football.

[GabeS14]

UMmmm yeah that's not cool.

Girls aren't suppose to fart or take shits in front of guys.

She's feeling too comfortable around you.

Next thing you know she's going to gain like 100lbs.

When women feel comfortable around you, they let themselves go.

I totally agree.. I make sure to tell my girll that its totally not feminine and not sexy to do that shit..she gets a bit embarassed and takes it....it works..man just tell the truth..a girl hates to hear she is not sexy..

[Future240]

This is the exact opposite of my girl and I. When she started rippin them under the covers, I was like "about time". I look at it like this. Females are all about hiding things that make then appear "unfeminine". That's all well and good for the one hitter quitters or the cut friends. But for a wife I would say no to hiding stuff like that. Yes that means she is comfortable around you, but my question is how can a person you have pledged your life and soul to, be too comfortable around you? When my girl does that, it means to me she is allowing herself to be human around me and not the doll that society had made her be. Dont get me wrong though, its not like I stick my head under the covers juss to get a whiff, hell no on that. But if the above scenario happened to me, I would have juss lauged said sick and went about my day. The crap in she shower is the same for me as well. Once again, I dont get off on it, but hell if I have to take a crap and she is in the shower, best believe I would go in there sit down and handle the biz. That and I am a really laid back guy, it take a lot to get me in a huff.

[water]

Here's my take.

azndoc is right. Fecal coliforms and other pewp particles are not lady like at all. Unless you enjoy dating girls that are "like one of the guys" (and she should know after 5 years), that shit is unacceptable.

But if its an accident, you can't blame her. I mean, you said she was sick.

My story: one girl i was dating for a while farted on my hand once when I was fingering her. I was totally grossed out for like a split second until i realized she started crying of embarrassment right away. She said she wasn't feeling well but felt obligated to hit it b/c I had taken her out to one of her favorite restaurants. I couldn't be mad but god damn that was nasty. I felt the full force of the fart wave hit my hand.

[just1pepsi]

lol.. that last sentance had me rolling.

I dont like my ladies bustin ass in front of me.. I know its natural, and accidents happen, but when it crosses over from accidental to "pull my finger" thats when its time to call it quits.

[TheRonTom31]

my girlfriend used to fart on me all the time. She never like shit herself though. she said I was the only boyfriend she ever felt comfortable enough to do that around.

we are no longer together.

[emersonLP]

I couldn't be mad but god damn that was nasty. I felt the full force of the fart wave hit my hand.

UGH I'm sorry for you, thats rough!

I don't fart around girls (unless absolutely I can't help it...then I blame it on someone else!) So I expect the same courtesy in return. Its just polite. I guess girls around me understand that because they seem to follow those guidelines pretty well.

This is a sweet thread by the way, I read through it and its brightened my boring day at work!

[Bubbles]

I know she knows she fucked up because she made me breakfast.

Wait......she farts on you, is already gaining wieght, and cooks only when she has done something wrong?


Cut your losses and move on.

[azndoc]

Ah the good old days.

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954 Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home. Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints.

Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.

Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax. The

Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

http://iws.ccccd.edu/grooms/goodwife.htm

Interesting.

[jackjack]

oh damn.......... thats wrong. ahahahahahha.

i mean everyone has their "accidents", but i usually try to leave the room or go outiside. i know everyone does it, i just really dont appreciate the sound/smell right next to me. ya dig?

[allntrlundrgrnd]

1. lol

2. this reminded me one time my gf was giving me head and right when i was getting off i ripped a huge fart. i could not stop laughing.

[YoungGun]

LUUUUULZ I immediately thought of this commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqJRLP2Xj_I

[Andrew Bohan]

be nice to us, clean my room, wash my clothes, cook for me, and have lots and lots of sex with us.

wat?


who else are we talking about?

[azndoc]

wat?


who else are we talking about?

Okay you got me Andrew.

I'm a polygamist.

I'll have 3 wives in three different houses. They'll rotate days with one another and I'll sleep in 3 different houses.

Yes just like in the showtime series "Big Love"

[speedgod^s13]

To the op, you have been with the girl for 5 years, and you are worried about her farting around you? What surprises me even more, how many of you guys, take farting that seriously. I'm not saying that it's attractive, or that I condone it. But, with all the shit that goes on in a relationship, you are worried about her passing gas? If she did that shit in public, or around my friends, that's a different story, but this is at home. Being with someone for a long time, there are going to be things, that you won't like about a person. Do you think you are perfect? I also noticed, a lot of you dudes, are acting like girls. If she ever farts in front of me, i'll dump her on the spot. WTF is that all about? Now, i'm not saying that the girl should make it a habit to fart in front of me, or that she should run away, every time she has to pass gas. If she has time, to get away, i'd appreciate it. If not, then oh well. Here's a question for you: If you truly loved a girl, and occasionally she farted in front of you, would you dump her? If you answered yes, you don't really love that person. There are far worse reasons, not to stay with a person, and flatulence is not one of them.

[DohcKA]

haha... she layed one like there's no 2morrow

[Dirty Habit]

I had this roomate in college that brought this drunk chick back to our place after drinking from 10am till about 3am. I guess at like 5am dude woke up to the smell of hot ass. I guess the girl shit and pissed the bed during the night and wiped her ass with the covers and took off. hahah.
He woke me up and asked me to help him clean his bed and get the shit sheets to the trash. I could smell it from my room, or whatever was still stuck on him...so I surveyed his bed seeing what looked to be the aftermath of a 6 pack of pudding thrown on the bed and wrestled around on...and promptly started to gag. I ran back to my room, locked the door and went back to sleep. I was not going to fuck with that shit.
Neither of us really remember what she looked like...and so we had some "big foot" sightings here and there throughout the rest of my college career...sadly she was never found. hahha.

Edit to add:
I knew a dude in college that got outta bed one night super drunk and peed on his girlfriend who was sleeping on the bed. Just standing there drawls down, pissin on her. hahahha. They broke up soon after.

A farts nothing to be worried about.

[TheRonTom31]

I have some gross college stories like that but I'll save them for another thread.

[Bubbles]

I knew a dude in college that got outta bed one night super drunk and peed on his girlfriend who was sleeping on the bed. Just standing there drawls down, pissin on her. hahahha. They broke up soon after.


This would be 100 times more awesome if the guy was completely sober and his girl was just taking a daily nap.

[BustedS13]

guys
last night we went to the strip here to ogle cars
bought some white castle
i'm at work and can't stop farting
every couple minutes i'm blasting one, how is this possible
i can only walk to the kitchen so many times before it gets suspicious

[ESmorz]

guys
last night we went to the strip here to ogle cars
bought some white castle
i'm at work and can't stop farting
every couple minutes i'm blasting one, how is this possible
i can only walk to the kitchen so many times before it gets suspicious

People are gonna think you think it's 80's day in the workplace

http://joemonahansnewmexico.blogspot.com/cocaine-2.jpg

[SimpleS14]

Sorry Bobafreak, but your post is frickin hilarious!! I'm just cracking up laughing LOL This thread is too damn funny...glad I didn't read it at work lol

Now I've been in a situation like that before with a girl I dated for three years. I busted out laughing when she did that and straight embrassed her for the rest of the day. I believe your case was an accident, but you should at least confront her about it in some way (sorry, can't help you there). Don't cut her off from sex....if she blurts that out to a guy that is single and manipulative..its a wrap.

so trap a chick under the covers and fart on her chest. if she laughs, she's a keeper. if she doesn't, let her run out of your house and don't bother calling

hmm....i think i will pass on that :goyou: lol

I couldn't be mad but god damn that was nasty. I felt the full force of the fart wave hit my hand.

oh man...i need to catch my breath LOL :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Sorry you had to ordeal that.

I have some gross college stories like that but I'll save them for another thread.

I look forward to that thread, but i don't know how long it will last on Zilvia.

[low and slow]

I've been with my girl for a little over 3 years, and the last time she ripped ass in the sack, she slept on the couch.

And it was at her place.

[Antihero983]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHcDP_Yew-g

[shrimpscampi]

Some of these posts are hilarious...props to you all...