Self-Esteem HELP!

[1ZlowZ]

OK I've been arguing with friends of mines they say I have low self-esteem. Tell me what you guys think. I have the DGAF attitude. I'm not the best looking fella there is but, yet I'm sweet with the ladies. Most girls tell me I look hot, yet I don't like that I prefer handsome and such. Well I look at myself different. I think that I don't look as good as they say but, still I couldn't careless of how I look.

How does that put me in the self-esteem chart? I've already searched google for this crap but no dice.

Help...

http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html

Thats where I looked for this.

I'd post a picture but have none ATM.

[RiversideS13]

i think it is depend on how you talk and interactive with other people. one of my friend he is short and fat but he had fling with more girls than cars i ever had. i realized because he is very sociable and been intelligent.

[MaD1337M3DRiV3r]

just get a hair cut, spike up your hair, get some nice dressy shirts that sorta fit tighter and hit up some clubs/raves... i told that to one of my friends and now he's a chick magnet... Also helps to get a BMW lol

[drift freaq]

OK I've been arguing with friends of mines they say I have low self-esteem. Tell me what you guys think. I have the DGAF attitude. I'm not the best looking fella there is but, yet I'm sweet with the ladies. Most girls tell me I look hot, yet I don't like that I prefer handsome and such. Well I look at myself different. I think that I don't look as good as they say but, still I couldn't careless of how I look.

How does that put me in the self-esteem chart? I've already searched google for this crap but no dice.

Help...

http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html

Thats where I looked for this.

I'd post a picture but have none ATM.

First off, if girls tell you, you look hot. Fuck don't get bummed. lol. They give you a compliment and you just beat yourself up over it. Hot is hot. Trust me if a Women says your hot you got nothing to worry about, Hot equals handsome in a womens eyes.
Plus you say you don't look as hot as what they say, but then you say you don't care how you look. Thats bullshit. If you really did not care it would not be a big deal to you.
I think you need to get honest with yourself. Plus you need to start complimenting yourself. I know it sounds wacky but when you do care about yourself you feel better. Plus the more you are happy with yourself the more people are happy with you.

[drftkng951]

so what are you saying your major self asteem problem is.....?
looks?
personality?
etc.

[luisgonz]

First off, if girls tell you, you look hot. Fuck don't get bummed. lol. They give you a compliment and you just beat yourself up over it. Hot is hot. Trust me if a Women says your hot you got nothing to worry about, Hot equals handsome in a womens eyes.
Plus you say you don't look as hot as what they say, but then you say you don't care how you look. Thats bullshit. If you really did not care it would not be a big deal to you.
I think you need to get honest with yourself. Plus you need to start complimenting yourself. I know it sounds wacky but when you do care about yourself you feel better. Plus the more you are happy with yourself the more people are happy with you.

This is one more time I agree with you, But I do feel like this sounds like a on going problem for you for some time now. I really do think you should seek professional help if it gets alittle more out of hand. Im on the same boat as you. I beat my self up for everything I do. And I had to seek help. I really hope you feel better by tomorrow.

[1ZlowZ]

Well I couldn't careless how I look but, something I see in myself doesn't look right. Personality I have no problem with. I have a problem with the way I talk and when I choose to talk. I only really communicate when I know somebody, if I don't know them then I usually just listen. :down:

so what are you saying your major self asteem problem is.....?
looks?
personality?
etc.

EDIT: Sort of weird asking this. Tell me what you guys think.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d175/oscarzzzzzz/DSC01729.jpg

[Tops*]

You just need a new haircut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

[drftkng951]

yeah kinda gay lookin but......oh well.

shave the lil mustache and change your style.

nothing major.....

[blasting_speed]

You just need a new haircut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M


The fucked up shit is that douche bags like this do exist. ahahahahah Its funny because they can only get girls if the girls are drunks. ahahahah They look ridiculous.

[WERDdabuilder]

might be that unibrow homie.

[1ZlowZ]

I don't have a unibrow or a mustache. I'll look for a better picture.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d175/oscarzzzzzz/vicnaramis.jpg

[jskateborders]

Well I couldn't careless how I look but, something I see in myself doesn't look right. Personality I have no problem with. I have a problem with the way I talk and when I choose to talk. I only really communicate when I know somebody, if I don't know them then I usually just listen. :down:



EDIT: Sort of weird asking this. Tell me what you guys think.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d175/oscarzzzzzz/DSC01729.jpg
Id pee in your butt

[HyperTek]

prolly the way you dress?? super baggy?

dont sweat it man ur still a baby u got the rest of ur life

[SC_S13]

charisma. end thread





ps. smile bro, dont always gotta concern yourself with looking hard. just be yourself and obviously if the ladies already say youre hot, then its all good. all i can say is dont put the pussy on the pedestal and base your esteem off others. be yourself and have fun man

[HyperTek]

self esteem builder - go to the gym.. forreals
while everyone else is drinking beer and gettin wasted partyin *not good for the body*, your out pumpin iron and workin out, then go out casually every so often =p
you get a lil older in your 20s and realize how stupid some of that shit is.

I shaved my head for a while, it got really good feedback from females, but my homies didnt like it.. lol
Now i keep it just keep it short and clean trim, low maintenance.

hmm one of my friends linked me this forum b4 it might help u with the self esteem
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

[womenbeshoppin]

get your weight up!, EAT BIG, LIFT HEAVY

[1ZlowZ]

I don't dress like that anymore... Those pictures were taken well over a year ago. I wear more tighter fitting clothes. Hair pointing forward in a spiky position. I like what you guys said but still haven't quite answered my question. In what I said the first post. Is that low self esteem or alright self esteem?

[womenbeshoppin]

I don't dress like that anymore... Those pictures were taken well over a year ago. I wear more tighter fitting clothes. Hair pointing forward in a spiky position. I like what you guys said but still haven't quite answered my question. In what I said the first post. Is that low self esteem or alright self esteem?
i don't know, let me see your wrists

[1ZlowZ]

My wrist are clean no cuts or anything except for one trying to take off the heat shield on my 280zx went a bit deep. =/

[Dirty Habit]

I don't get serious very often..but..

Your 21 man. Its very rare that people know who they are at 21. When it comes to failure, look at it as a learning opportunity. Don't beat up on yourself, learn, move on. Everything only gets more complicated as you get older. This is the only way your gonna grow.

Ladies love one thing more than any in a man. Chicks can dig the ugliest of dudes if the said dude has confidence.
Confidence is huge. Ladies panties drop if you can show them that without a doubt you are "the fucking man" and can handle any situation that might be bestowed upon you. They want to feel secure.
They want a shot caller.

A lot of women don't know the difference between confidence and downright stupidity.
The broads you attract with a new haircut are trash. Dress cleanly, enjoy intelligent conversation, be yourself and the right ones will come to you.

So get out there, get your game straight...AND IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO:




Get your ma to pick ya up some more muscle milk.lol.

[womenbeshoppin]

you look like my uncle termite

[godzillarb]

Real confidence comes from passing through life's challenges, basically being refined by "fire." I'd suggest getting involved in some sports where you are pushed and challenged, preferably something with a shit load of adrenaline.

Hit the gym, get off your ass. Go make something of yourself.

This last couple of days I have been involved in a moot court competition at my lawschool where you argue any number of issues in front of a panel of judges. Talk about nerve racking. But you know what, I made it. I survived that fire and ended up doing pretty damn good in the competition. Keep in mind, I'm just a grease monkey with no public speaking experience whatsoever.

If you don't know what kind of sport or competition to try, give paintball a shot. Nothing like running around shooting people.

And stop making threads like this or complaining about what a loser you feel like. Nobody really cares that you're crying in the corner, get over it.

[Dirty Habit]

Nothing like running around shooting people.

:ughug:

Are you sure this is something you want to tell a kid with low self-esteem?

:D

[murda-c]

Dude. i'll fuck you.

no homo tho.

maybe a little.

EDIT: and the broad you're with.

[godzillarb]

:ughug:

Are you sure this is something you want to tell a kid with low self-esteem?

:D

HAHA... good point bro.

But hey, better on the paintball field than anywhere else! :x:

[SW20Racer]

do you want instant self esteem?! do you want instant charisma?! GET YOUR DICK PIERCED. nothing says "bitch, get over here and buy ME a drink!" like a 00 prince albert bangin against your kneecap.

[jackjack]

just be yourself and dont worry about it. as long as you're a good person and treat people with respect everything will fall into place. remember........ there are a lot of shit people out there.

[KA24DESOneThree]

Get a better job, then spend all the money on your car.

You'll stop caring about women, and your self-esteem will rely solely on how you view your car skills.

You'll also get in more fights with people on the internet. This is a good thing.

[240love^_^]

Just be yourself.
You're thinking about this way too hard.
As long as you are comfortable with your style and your image than its all good. Don't change yourself because of what people think.


Seriously, as long as you are respectful, understanding, and can hold a decent conversation with a lady then its all good.(Or at least that is what I look for in a guy)


Just enjoy yourself.

[YoungGun]

Nice guys finish last, oh wait I just read the title. In that case be nice and the girls will come I guess?

[ESmorz]

Shit dude, don't even worry.

I'm not the best looking dude, but I get bitches like it's going out of style. All you have to do is play the part.

As for self esteem, I agree with DriftFreaq, just give yourself some compliments and when you bag a broads compliments !BE FUCKING HAPPY! You probably only have a few years left of that anyways haha.

Confidence is key. If you have confidence, you'll have a good life. If you don't... well you'll be driving a 240 and playing D&D with the homies forever.

Dr.Phils Evil twin signing out, now.

[TiNMAN]

Dude. i'll fuck you.

no homo tho.

maybe a little.

EDIT: and the broad you're with.

F A G













jk

[ronmcdon]

Shit dude, don't even worry.

I'm not the best looking dude, but I get bitches like it's going out of style. All you have to do is play the part.

As for self esteem, I agree with DriftFreaq, just give yourself some compliments and when you bag a broads compliments !BE FUCKING HAPPY! You probably only have a few years left of that anyways haha.

Confidence is key. If you have confidence, you'll have a good life. If you don't... well you'll be driving a 240 and playing D&D with the homies forever.

Dr.Phils Evil twin signing out, now.

yes i completely agree confidence is key. as Decartes (or some other fancy philosopher from days of old) says, 'you think, therefore you are'. the trick is just to pull it off such that it comes across naturally...ideally without you coming across as arrogant/obnoxious. easier said than done, but practice makes perfect.

A lot of situations in life call for decision making that's ambiguous. Most situations are not cut & dry like mathematics. You walk into an interview, you hit up a girl, you try to bluff in card game, haggling, you make any sort of negotiation, etc.

The outcome is uncertain, but at least you can manipulate things in your favor. Regardless, of what actual substance you hold, confidence (or lack thereof) will contribute to your impression. You give an effective enough impression, that will increase your odds of getting what you want regardless of whether or not you're really qualified. You give a poor impression, then others won't even give you a chance to prove you're worth.

It's precisely in situations where I know I'm not going to come out well, and have little to lose either way, that I try to act like I'm confident. surprisingly, sometimes it works. This is especially the case if the party you're negotiating with isn't confident.

In the end, I don't know if this improves overall self-esteem (doesn't do it for me), but it is a lot of fun, and probably a good life skill to develop. maybe its not unlike what some call hustling or just plain bs. maybe this is obvious to all, but this would be how I describe it.

[ESmorz]

yes i completely agree confidence is key. as Decartes (or some other fancy philosopher from days of old) says, 'you think, therefore you are'. the trick is just to pull it off such that it comes across naturally...ideally without you coming across as arrogant/obnoxious. easier said than done, but practice makes perfect.

A lot of situations in life call for decision making that's ambiguous. Most situations are not cut & dry like mathematics. You walk into an interview, you hit up a girl, you try to bluff in card game, haggling, you make any sort of negotiation, etc.

The outcome is uncertain, but at least you can manipulate things in your favor. Regardless, of what actual substance you hold, confidence (or lack thereof) will contribute to your impression. You give an effective enough impression, that will increase your odds of getting what you want regardless of whether or not you're really qualified. You give a poor impression, then others won't even give you a chance to prove you're worth.

It's precisely in situations where I know I'm not going to come out well, and have little to lose either way, that I try to act like I'm confident. surprisingly, sometimes it works. This is especially the case if the party you're negotiating with isn't confident.

In the end, I don't know if this improves overall self-esteem (doesn't do it for me), but it is a lot of fun, and probably a good life skill to develop. maybe its not unlike what some call hustling or just plain bs. maybe this is obvious to all, but this would be how I describe it.

Yeah. I'm a cocky son of a bitch. I get what I want, and I know how to go about getting it. However, I know when to speak up or shut up, or when to be humble or gloat. I realized lately that life is just a big crazy game of poker, it gets crappy sometimes but sometimes you just gotta lay your chips down and go for the gusto.

Self-esteem in essence at least to me anyways is, are you happy with the life you're leading and what you are getting out of it? If not, then take some of the aforementioned steps and see if it's for you. If it's not then if you keep looking for it you will find it.

Keep your head in the game, shit always gets better. You just have to make it so.

[Howard92884]

http://thepandapage.com/2008/04/09/62-a-field-guide-to-internet-people-guidos/ (http://thepandapage.com/2008/04/09/62-a-field-guide-to-internet-people-guidos/)
Just act like these guys and you'll be all set. You already have the natural spray on tan look so your half way there!

[ESmorz]

http://a799.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/71/l_ee484f6244a90a7c26f4ce32089625c6.jpg

What the fuck is wrong with that chicks head?

[Signum Temporis]

just get a hair cut, spike up your hair, get some nice dressy shirts that sorta fit tighter and hit up some clubs/raves... i told that to one of my friends and now he's a chick magnet... Also helps to get a BMW lol

dont act like a homo

just be comfortable.

[raz0rbladez909]

what you need is a mane then all the ladies know you're the king of the junglehttp://www.bigfun.be/files/jpg/stupid_haircut%20(Small).jpg