Craigslist gold. Seriously.

[savannaae]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/oma/581897835.html

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

[lflkajfj12123]

haha

thats funny shit

last week i read one about a guy warning everyone not to shave their ass

[DOOK]

here's another goodie... not for the faint of heart

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html

[snowmansent2hel]

last week you left my sweatshirt crusty hahahaha

[sillyvia13]

I wish he was at my house...my life would be less stressful..she'd be happy!

[jackjack]

wtf? ahahahahhahahaa.

[240love^_^]

hehehe. thats funny!

[blasting_speed]

That's awesome. ahahahahah I can't until i'm married. ahahahah

[bbejj123]

:bowrofl: haha that is priceless!!!

[ByeByeSti]

hahahhaah, so fucking funny

[WilloW]

I guess I'm not alone. Whenever I'm bored and there's no new posts on Zilvia, I would go on "Best of Craiglist" and read these. Nice one.

[S13SilviaGirl]

here's another goodie... not for the faint of heart

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html

I am gonna let that stay, because damnit....its fucking true! :D

and **Edit** to add, this is priceless!

5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.

[kdashy]

Hilarious even if fake.

[Tops*]

What a good fucking thread. Even if I'm trapped in my house, I can read hilarious Craiglist posts.

[ESmorz]

Those 2 articles were the best way I've woken up in a while lol.

[S13Boosts]

EL OH EL:keke:

[DOOK]

I am gonna let that stay, because damnit....its fucking true! :D

and **Edit** to add, this is priceless!

i somehow knew you would appreciate that lisa.... my wife laughed her ass off for like 20 minutes after i showed her

[S13SilviaGirl]

i somehow knew you would appreciate that lisa.... my wife laughed her ass off for like 20 minutes after i showed her

I do I do! hahaha. Seriously, guys of zilvia...take note of his post! Dook may just have given you all the golden ticket! hahaha

[norcal_black240]

Craigslist made my day now.

[s13silvia123]

hahaha lol this made me laugh.

[Matej]

Haha I always wonder how many of Best of Craigslist ads are real.

[sleepy_s13]

That was Great. Nice Find

[240love]

HAHAHA...funny stuff... craigslist is crazy

[savannaae]

I do I do! hahaha. Seriously, guys of zilvia...take note of his post! Dook may just have given you all the golden ticket! hahaha


I saw this one but I figured I'd get pwnd by ThatGuy again for posting bad things on Zilvia again. :hsdance:

[brndck]

http://miami.craigslist.org/sha/614976165.html
i lol'ed. people are gross sometimes.

$400 sexy blk latina in need of room
Hello,
I will be in need of a room. Willing to exchange occasional sex relationship for rent if there is a mutual attraction (MEN ONLY). Really in need of help financially. I am a clean, college educated, professional. Email me with picture if interested as well as your location and I will follow with the same.

[rbjs13]

wtf hahahaha

[HyperTek]

these people need to post a picture of the goods.. You dont blindly choose a car that you are going to potentially rent or buy right?

oh man this is funny

here's another goodie... not for the faint of heart

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html

has anyone did a version from guy to females??

[jussjepbrox]

here's another goodie... not for the faint of heart

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html


its true thats why it made me laugh hella hard girls love it when u smack there ass and pull there hair,TRY IT its one of those things u have to see to belive

[an_orange_s2k]

^^^hahha girls do! nice find op

[ByeByeSti]

hahhahhaah just go throuhg and read some of the titles there so wackkk ahah

[savannaae]

Glad to see this is still rollin.

[Anto]

HAHA

check out the phantom shitter:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/33123421.html
and sequel:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/50894889.html

vasectomy guy:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

Funny as hell Olean One:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/182862349.html

[exitspeed]

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.


Cool maybe I'll run int ths dude at the Great Wolf Lodge. That place is awesome. :keke:

[Phlip]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/prv/640933911.html
To the stupid bitches at Walmart that assumed I stole their phone
Date: 2008-04-13, 2:47PM EDT


You know who you are. You and your skanky friend entered the ladies room at Walmart, apparently looking for a cellphone you lost because you're a moron. I washed my hands, and upon exiting the restroom I said, "Excuse me," since you clearly had no intention of moving your fat ass out of the doorway.

I proceeded to look at some shirts in the womens' department, when suddenly you two white trash tramps came RIGHT over and stood oh, maybe, 3 feet away from me, glaring. The porkier one of you two (the one with the mustache) then took out your cellphone and obviously dialed the lost one's number in hopes that suddenly my bag would ring your familiar ringtone- probably Shakira or Lil Kim. I couldn't believe you had the audacity to be such stupid hos. Not only did you make no attempt to be discreet, but you were blatantly rude and insulting.

Why the fuck would I want your cellphone? I'm all set with 19yr old punks calling me for blowjobs. I also don't have any interest in receiving phone calls from probation officers or Planned Parenthood. If I did find a cheap-ass phone probably in a pink case, covered in stickers- there's a damn good chance I'd return it to the "Lost And Found," assuming I'd even give a shit enough to do that. I'm sure that's a far-fetched concept to you, considering if it were the other way around, you'd probably pawn a lost phone as fast as you'd jerk off a homeless guy that offered you a cigarette.

Next time you immediately jump to conclusions because of your own stupidity, go back and check the aisle with vaginal cream and douches first; you probably left your phone there. You must have found it shortly after, because you were no longer up my ass, skanking up my personal space. Either that, or the dollar store was having one hell of a sale that you couldn't pass up.

Screw you both.

* Location: Newport, RI
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 640933911

[powersteeringless180sx]

lol wow I'm missing out on some good reading on craigslist. That was hilarious.

[kyoru]

wow the olean one was a it too descriptive :( where is the one with the lady trying to pick up rich guys and someone explains it in terms of depreciating assets.

[strongbads240]

hahaha thats classic

[chitownguy]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/prv/640933911.html

lol I was just reading that one and this one http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/645458908.html

[touge monster]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/alb/621862265.html <-- (pic)
I HAVE A 1995 MO' VAN THAT GOT TRANSFORMED INTO THIS CATBUS. I BROUGHT IT TO A SHOPS AND I WAS LIKE HEY, CAN YOU TURN THIS INTO A CATBUS? SO THEY DID. THEN THAT DAY I DROVE IT HOME. THE CAT BUS ONLY HAS 50K, WHICH ARE ALL HIGHWAY MILES AS I DROVE IT TO WORK 2 DAYS A WEEK AND THAT WAS IT. IT'S IN REALLY GOOD SHAPE AND ALL THE FUR IS STILL ALL THERE. THE STEERING WHEEL HAS A CAT ON IT. IM ONLY ASKING 2900 FOR THE CATBUS BECAUSE ITS REALLY FURRY AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE GET SICK ON IT.

LOL catbus.

[Thursday]

i want a catbus.....

[DRavenS13]

I wanna post this in the For Sale section sooo bad....

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/fre/546194826.html

[DohcKA]

hahahahahahahah.... man o man

[LeftNutOfGowd]

I wanna post this in the For Sale section sooo bad....

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/fre/546194826.html

If you got the balls do it :keke:

[Tulok]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/det/639254501.html

[nastynate805]

http://gawker.com/392686/craigslist-cash%20waver-threatens-to-punch-sue-us

This guy is a Douchebag. Listen to the audio guy needs to get his head outta his ass.

[status:one]

haha good one.