The Simpson Quotes...........lol

[NiSmOKnIghTsRBS14]

i 1st posted this is the The thread for totally random premie thoughts of the day. but wanted to share to all so yah

(_8-(l)

Homer Simpson Quotes


Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

-
[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh. :duh:

-
Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.


-
Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.


http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/

Enjoy :)

[DRavenS13]

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven?
Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation.
Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens

illy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

[cdlong]

you can never go wrong with Ralph quotes

"my cat's breath smells like cat food"
"i bent my wookie"
"sleep! that's where i'm a Viking!"

[WERDdabuilder]

It Taste Like Burning!

[JesusFreakDrifter]

[rainier wolfcastle] "My eyes, the goggles do nothing!!!!!"

[exitspeed]

Homer - No beer, no tv make homer go something, something.

Marge - Crazy?

Homer - Don't mind if I do! Whoa hoo! eek Blah, akck!

[diomedes]

Ralph: "I like men now."

LoL. Get's me everytime.

[shmiddy]

ralph "when i grow up i wanna be a catapiller"

[CrimsonRockett]

Ralph: "Thank you Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

:rofl:

[Kn1ves]

when homer was getting a heart bypass surgery
and doctor herbert was all teasing him telling him he was as useless as a baby and kept poking him

homer said "ahhh dont do that.. stop it.. remember your hippopotamus oath."

i LOLd forever.

[jackjack]

hooooo man. so many good quotes. simpsons rock.

[shmiddy]

hooooo man. so many good quotes. simpsons rock.

not to be a dick or anything but they kinda been falling off..... jokes not as funny and stuff. or maybee im getting old :eek3:

[lil240sx95]

I agree with shmiddy...every once in a while one is funny, but not as before!! competition with southpark and family guy!!! but whatever The Simpsons will ALWAYS be the best ALWAYS
ahh and to go with the thread
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

[s13poop]

homer: barts teacher is named krabapple? this whole time i've been calling her krandle! i feel like such an idiot *runs off crying*

[89dc240]

It Taste Like Burning!



I've probably used that about 500 times and it always gets the same reaction...People falling over laughing.

[pinkheels04]

Lisa the Vegetarian:


Lisa: Uhh, excuse me? Isn't there anything here that doesn't have meat in it?
Doris: Possibly the meat loaf.
Lisa: Well, I believe you're required to provide a vegetarian alternative.
Doris: [Picks up a hot dog in a bun and places it on Lisa's food tray] Yum. It's rich in bunly goodness.
Lisa: Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?


LMAO... i LOVE the simpsons.... i was practically raised by that family.:loco:

[cdlong]

Homer: no bacon?
Lisa: no dad
Homer: no ham?
Lisa: no dad
Homer: no pork chops?
Lisa: dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: sure Lisa, some Maaaa-gical animal!

[ThatGuy]

Evidently, quite a few Zilvians let Ralph tutor them in English...

Ralph: "Me fail English? That's unpossible"

[DUFFM4N]

Homer: Homer no function beer well without


Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

Duffman: Duffman wants to party down with the man who sent in 10,000 Duff labels to bring me here today. I've got a bottomless mug of new Duff Extra Cold for, Barney Gumbel!
All: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Barney: I can't, I'm the designated driver!
(Everything stops)
Duffman: Yeah that's swell, Duff wholeheartedly supports the designated driver program. Now! Who wants to Party!

Duffman: Everything going dark, like Duff Stout. The beer that made Ireland famous.

[eastcoastS14]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?


Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.


Bart: Take him away, boys.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Police Chief here. Bake him away, toys.
Lou: What was that, chief?
Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.


Duffman: Duffman can't breathe! OH NO!


Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) :bowrofl:



Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

[txrxs]

Ralph: These tomatoes taste like Grandma.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug

And my personal favorite above my avatar.

[JesusFreakDrifter]

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?



Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) :bowrofl:



Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

classics in my opinion

[k's_silvia2.0]

Homer sees a Gym.
Reads the sign wrong pronounces it Gime.
[Homer]Whats a Gime?
Homer walks in and goes.
[Homer]OHHH a Gime.

[pinkheels04]

I agree with shmiddy...every once in a while one is funny, but not as before!! competition with southpark and family guy!!! but whatever The Simpsons will ALWAYS be the best ALWAYS
ahh and to go with the thread
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.


ya the simpsons used to rock hardcore! i haven't really watched them for like the last 4 years or so..... their crazy adventures seem to be trying to hard and it's not as funny.... but i quote the classics ALL the damn time. i find myself laughing even when im all alone.. hahahahaha

[JesusFreakDrifter]

[Homer] oh look at me im making people happy, im the magical man, from happy land with a gumdrop house on lollipop laaaannne.
oh and by the way i was being sarcastic
[marge] well duh!

episode: where homer meets his mom and she is singing with lisa
[lisa] singing how many roads must a man go down, before you can call him a man?
[homer] 7
[lisa] dad the question is retorical
[homer] rhetorical eh? 8

[cwd240]

Operator: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat, if you need a special dialing wand please mash the keypad with your palm now

[DRavenS13]

Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Bart: Go orange!
Nelson: Go grapefruit!
Ralph: Go Banana! (I lol'ed till i almost peed myself)

Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. (A man after my own heart)

Homer: He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?!?

Announcer: Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Wiggum (checking): Well I'll be damned.

[blackrms13]

homer: "I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for 10 minutes!!"

(forgot who): "did he say 10mins?"


lol

[s13poop]

Bart: Go orange!
Nelson: Go grapefruit!
Ralph: Go Banana! (I lol'ed till i almost peed myself)

HAHAHAHAHAH then auto steps on the grapefruit and it shoots in his eye :rofl: :rofl:

[NiSmOKnIghTsRBS14]

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

[Xandy Boosts]

I LOLed when I heard this one, one of my all time favorites

Homer: A contractor? Those guys are the biggest crooks around. They charge for materials AND labor. Pick one, jerks!

[DRavenS13]

Unitarians: "NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Leader,
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Leader,
NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Leader,
Leader, Leader....
Homer: BATMAN!!!!!

[WERDdabuilder]

oh man i just heard the best one today...

homer goes to AA.
otto goes up to introduce himself.
"im Otto! and i looooooooove to get blotto!!"