the best/worst pick up lines youve heard

[illvialuver]

Okay for every yin there is a yang, so this is the worst break up lines yang.

post the best pic up lines or the worst ones doesnt matter, its just at the other side of the break up.

and to start it off, i know its not that original, but i was watchin tv and when ashton kutcher was asked how he met demi he said he saw her walkin down the street and yelled at her,
" hey sugar tits!!!!.......looking goooood"

[d*star180]

"Whats crackin BITCH!?"

[JdM_JunKiE]

girl your like a tall glass of water, ill tell you stright up im thirsty:)

[DRavenS13]

Can I borrow a map, cuz I'm getting lost in your eyes.... So Ghey.

[azndoc]

if you were a booger I'd pick you first

That's my favorite

[illvialuver]

i heard one that was like .. " aye gurl, you know how many bones are in the human body? ? ...well ya want another one?"

[understeer]

i heard one that was like .. " aye gurl, you know how many bones are in the human body? ? ...well ya want another one?"


haha.....never heard that one

[mRclARK1]

"I don't have a library card, but can I check you out?"

"I've seen you before. Your picture is in the dictionary under sexy."

"You must be from outer space, cause you're outta this world."

:keke: :ghey:

Pick up lines are an act of desperation. lol

[DRavenS13]

Ay Bay bay! msglngth

[luisgonz]

"SUCK MY DICK" Thats the worst one have ever heard, And he got one handed to him. LOL :mrmeph:

[illvialuver]

how bout this one too, "you got any Irish in you? " no? well ya want some ?"

[jdm538]

want to come to the pants party?

[luisgonz]

It has to say little Irish.LOL

[reccakun08]

I lost my number can i have yours?

[DRavenS13]

It's raining outside... Heaven must be crying because there's an angel missing....

[sigh] where do they get this shit....

[illvialuver]

It has to say little Irish.LOL

are you asking for an eel skin necklace?

and what do you got against the irish? :mrmeph:

[luisgonz]

Nothing......I just want back my lucky charms....LOL J/K

[89dc240]

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached,,, or Fertilized...

[illvialuver]

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached,,, or Fertilized...
duuuuuuuuurty hahahha

[cwd240]

Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Well, it's enough to break the ice!!

[illvialuver]

here are a few more ( and for the record, i dont use pick up lines, they are just funny to hear them)

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?

Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?

[Dutchmalmiss]

(in the stereo-typical mentally challenged position)
"if i were mentally challenged, i'd make you my right hand because it's what's closest to my heart." - a dutchmalmiss original

"is your last name campbell's? cuz your mm mm good!"

that's it.

[azndoc]

Go up to girl
Guy: Give it back
Girl: Give what back
Guy: You took my breath away

Ohhhh.......

[mRclARK1]

Go up to girl
Guy: Give it back
Girl: Give what back
Guy: You took my breath away

Ohhhh.......

TAAAAAKKKKKEEEE MY BREATH AWAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY! :keke:

[Farzam]

1) Sup babe, you wanna see something swell? :naughty:
2) I've got a thirst boo, and you look like some gatorade
3) They call me "coffee" cause I grind so fiiiineeee.
4) The only reason i'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck on the floor.


Guy: Give it back
Girl: Give what back
Guy: You took my breath away

FARZAM BREATHES: give it back
whatevvbri: give what back?
FARZAM BREATHES: you took my breath away
whatevvbri: awh thats cute

[azndoc]

FARZAM BREATHES: give it back
whatevvbri: give what back?
FARZAM BREATHES: you took my breath away
whatevvbri: awh thats cute

If that didn't get you laid then I don't know what will buddy.

[ALTRNTV]

*on a starry night*
guy: I just saw a shooting star.
girl: Ooh, what did you wish for?
guy:Nothing, you already came true.

guy: You're a thief!
girl: What? What are you talking about?!
guy: You stole my heart away.
;)

AkademikONE exclusives

guy: I just wanted to let you know that I noticed you, noticing me, so I'm putting you on notice, that I noticed the fact that you were noticing me, while I was noticing you

[S14Josh]

*Wipes face* "Just clearing a place for you to sit!"

[Helghast]

"Did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
"You clawing your way from hell."

Baby making lines.

[Matej]

Do you work for FedEx?
I could've sworn you were checking out my package.

Do you work for Subway?
You just gave me a foot-long.

[trsilvias13]

*Wipes face* "Just clearing a place for you to sit!"

that is by far the funniest every
I just cracked up at work.

[SexPanda]

I've tried this before. It worked too. Im just that good I suppose.

"I saw you from across the room, and I was wondering if you had a sister, because your way too cute to be single."

Probably the corniest line ever spoken by man. But hell, if you have wood make a fire.

[azndoc]

If you see two girls standing next to each other at the club and you want to talk to one here's what you do.

Go up to the two girls.

Look at the one that your not interested
You: Would you like to dance?
her: Yes, why I would love to dance!!!!
YOu: Awesome, well could you go dance while I talk to your friend here.

[SexPanda]

If you see two girls standing next to each other at the club and you want to talk to one here's what you do.

Go up to the two girls.

Look at the one that your not interested
You: Would you like to dance?
her: Yes, why I would love to dance!!!!
YOu: Awesome, well could you go dance while I talk to your friend here.

Holy sh*t that is awesomely horrible. I've got to try that.

And theres this jewel I've recently heard, Courtesy of my friend Franky... argueably the worlds biggest stoner.

"You smoke bud man?" Lmfao. The best pick up line ever. They sat and talked for a good hour. He got her number and everything.

[supad0rk]

Guy: Have you ever kissed an elephant before?
Girl: No
Guy: *Pull out pockets* Want to try?

[DRavenS13]

You guys seem to have a lot of lines for ppl that never use them.

[ALTRNTV]

I, for one, never use pick-up lines. No need to. :keke:

[DRavenS13]

Suuuuuure.:keke:

[ALTRNTV]

You must not know about me, you must not know about me. I can
get another you, in a minute, matter of fact, she'll be here in a minute, baby.

:keke:

Ok, more pick-up lines!

[DRavenS13]

That don't impress me much, so you got the moves but have you got the touch
Now don't get me wrong, yea I think you're all right, but that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.....:keke:


Ok, NOW we can go back to the cornball pickup lines.

[eastcoastS14]

is your father a thief? cause he must have stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes



best ever:

-nice shoes....wanna fuck?

[Helghast]

You're the booger of my eye.

[DRavenS13]

my name is milk, and I'll do your body good.

[Helghast]

"Hey can you tell me what time it is?"
"Its-"
"Actually I know what time it was, just looking for a reason to talk to you"

..it worked once.
we "dated" 4 times.
Then someone called me in the middle of the night, she looked at the phone to give it to me.
Low and Behold it was a chick.
Never heard from her again.
Meh.

[speedgod^s13]

If I could change the alphabet, i'd put U and I together.
Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? You: When you fell from heaven.
You: Are you tired? Her: No, why? You: Because, you've been running through my mind.
Wanna grab some pizza, then fuck, or you just wanna skip the pizza?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

[Dirty Habit]

WEEEEEOOOOOOOWEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOO !

You know what that is baby?

Its the ambulance coming, because you just stole my heart.









Now grab your ankles.

[theicecreamdan]

If I could change the alphabet I would you U and I together.

and no pickup line is good with out a witty rebuttal.

If I could change the alphabet I'd get rid of U.

[illvialuver]

i just remember this shit from highschool.

if you were a bag a chips and i was a battery you would be frito lay and i would be everready

[sikkk240]

So i was at the beach the other day.. and see some hotty riding around on a bike..

Me: HEYY BITCH!!!
Her: heyy cutieee!!

God i love the beach, and tourists...

[Helghast]

Yo Girl, lemme holla at you.
*licks lips*
*grabs crotch*

[redZENKI]

"Is that a mirror in your back pocket? Cuz I can see myself in your pants"

[SiI40sx]

(yelling... almost screaming) "A YO BABY!!!"

"a girl, are you a parking ticket?? cuz u got fiiiiiiiiiinnnee written all over you"

[steve shadows]

"so your not ugly and not dumb, I could work with that..."

[playthe_part]

guy: I just wanted to let you know that I noticed you, noticing me, so I'm putting you on notice, that I noticed the fact that you were noticing me, while I was noticing you

haha, Fresh Prince! Most of these pick up lines are from fresh prince of bel air.. back when pick up lines were 'cool'

here's one:

did you see the shooting star last night? it went from here (pointing) all the way over here (tracing a line until your arm is around her shoulder). haha.

[ilovecoupes]

guy: Are you tired?
girl: uhhh....
guy: you have to because, you have been running around in my mind all day.

[SexPanda]

That shirt is becomming on you...

Of course if I was on you, Id be cumming too.

lol

[dorifuto_sluto]

classic. my contribution to this list;

"So what haven't you been told tonight?"
"See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."

[azndoc]

If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?
Girl you must have a keg in your pants because I'd like to tap that ass.

etc etc.

Seriously, pick up lines are lame. But they can work. Its all in the way you deliver the lines. If you come off as a douche bag then of course it stupid lame. But if you come off jokingly then its funny and once you've made her laugh then its all good.

[illvialuver]

Holy sh*t that is awesomely horrible. I've got to try that.

And theres this jewel I've recently heard, Courtesy of my friend Franky... argueably the worlds biggest stoner.

"You smoke bud man?" Lmfao. The best pick up line ever. They sat and talked for a good hour. He got her number and everything.

if you need to use pot or alcohol to get girls to talk to you, you need more help than pick up lines.

[StaticX27]

"You know that dress is very becoming on you, if I was on you, I'd be cumming too."

"With you I am lost, without you, I'm found wanting to be lost again"

"fucking me if I'm wrong, but is your name y'shawnda?

Here's one some guy used on my sister once, and I swear I couldn't stop laughing. She couldn't stop laughing either. It was sad.

"Do you like honesty? Because honestly, if you're personality is as good as your looks, then I wanna get to know you"

[DRavenS13]

Best pickup line in the world-

"I have clean credit, I've never been to jail, I'll help you clean, I'll pay the bills, and I will never argue with you and obey your every whim and command".

If it's true, then you got her.

[azndoc]

Best pickup line in the world-

"I have clean credit, I've never been to jail, I'll help you clean, I'll pay the bills, and I will never argue with you and obey your every whim and command".

If it's true, then you got her.

Ohh geez. Should we just bring out portfolio and bank statements too?

[DRavenS13]

Yup... and your credit report, a clean police and DMV sheet, your social security number, and 3 letters of recommendation. Submit those in a SASE, and you should receive a written response in 6-8 working weeks.


EDIT: and your family tree. If you're Mexican, I need that, since I have cousins and family I don't know, and I don't want any slimy surprises. LOL

[C. Senor]

^oddly enough i can honestly accommodate almost all of those..except the EVERY whim one....but yeah. LOL.

seriously, i've done the "HEY, how you doin?" like joey from friends....worked too because she thought it was funny...lol

[sky53line]

If you took eleven roses and looked in the mirror, you would see the twelve most beautiful things in the world.


I read that a few years ago on MSN when they had a story about the best pick up lines. This one works every damn time. haha

[Synicals13]

"Is that a mirror in your back pocket? Cuz I can see myself in your pants"

pack fm & substantial!

"if you are what you eat, then i hope im you when i wake up"

[JRas]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

#1 pickup line

[DRavenS13]

Hi. You'll do.

[karl wasabi]

You want pick up lines??? Watch the Pickup Artist on VH1. It is actually a funny show. And that material works. haha.

[karl wasabi]

So, what else do you have going for you besides your stunning good looks?

[RazoE]

EDIT: and your family tree. If you're Mexican, I need that, since I have cousins and family I don't know, and I don't want any slimy surprises. LOL


It's true, happened to a some people I knew in HS...

they were dating for a while, then they went to a family party....long story short they found out they were cousins, hahahah...

[s13silvia03]

Heard my friend say this a few weeks ago, thought it was pretty funny.

...girl walks by

Him: Hey, you dropped something back here

Girl: What I drop?

Him: My jaw





Sooooo corny

[mRclARK1]

Best pickup line in the world-

"I have clean credit, I've never been to jail, I'll help you clean, I'll pay the bills, and I will never argue with you and obey your every whim and command".

If it's true, then you got her.

Clean Credit: Check
Never been to Jail: Check
Help you clean: Check
Pay the bills: uhhhh... ok Check
Never argue: Check
Obey every whim and command: Check

Well? What are you waiting for!?! :keke:

[Hailtothesilvia]

best ever:

-nice shoes....wanna fuck?

WINNERRRRRRRRRRR

[Turtle]

I like this one the most

You:If I stuck my cock in Ajax for an hour,would you suck it? Girl:NO!! You:Dirty cock sucker!

"What yo name is?"

Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!

There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....

Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"

Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

You make my software turn to hardware!

[DRavenS13]

Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll always have a place to sit.

[Sil-Abc]

thats some nice jewelry, it would look great on my nightstand

I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?

What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?

I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Pick a number between 1 and 10... You lose! Take off your clothes.


its funny to hear these things and its amazing how well they work if u play it right as a joke :D

[DRavenS13]

^^^Sure, if you're into cornballs.

[Synicals13]

bump for this ridiculousness

[swift_style]

if you were a booger I'd pick you first

That's my favorite

LOL!!^ I can't stop laughing. :bigok:

[mrs.drift33]

Are you from Tennessee cuz your the only TEN I SEE!!!

Is your dad Bin Laden ??? cuz your DA BOMB!!!


Your like a parking ticket I see FFFFIIIINNNNEE writen all over you!!!

CHOW!

[89dc240]

Best ever:

Hold out your hand(loosely closed fist) and say "Here, I got something for ya"

When she puts her hand out, just hold it. She'll melt

[89dc240]

Best pickup line in the world-

"I have clean credit, I've never been to jail, I'll help you clean, I'll pay the bills, and I will never argue with you and obey your every whim and command".

If it's true, then you got her.


Clean credit.

Well, I've never been to jail since before I was 18, wait I didn't even have to tell you that, so sealed record for the win.

If I'm payin all the bills, you should have plenty of time to clean,

Which I will not argue with.

And as long as your every whim and command closely correlates with what I want to do, we're good there too, lol.

Shit, that was easy. :coolugh:

[kyoru]

worst one i've heard from my friend --

him: how much does the mammoth weigh?
girl: um i don't know?
him: heavy enough to break the ice --
hi i'm ___ nice to meet you

god awful yet funny haha

[WilloW]

"Yo baby, I bust more nuts than a squirrel!"

[B18C5MK1]

i used this on one of my friends. i always mess with her with cheese lines. haha.

it was raining one day and i was at band practice. she usually comes over to watch us play.. anyway, she walked in the room and i said into the mic "speeeeeeaaaaakin of SUNSHINE....."

and she works at starbucks and i was hangin out there waiting for her to get off and she was sweeping the floor in front of me and i was all "zamn girl... you just swept me off my feet" haha

then she always gets these really bad migraines and one day she seemed kind of out of it.. so i was like "does your head hurt" and shes all "yeah so bad" and i was like "yeah i bet it hurt when you fell from heaven."

haha. i use lines with no intent to use lines. and i only use lines on her. its been like a tradition for the past couple years. haha.

[S14Josh]

Fuck me if im wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

[BustedS13]

worse pickup line: all of them
best pickup line: seriously, is this 1975

[Saltman]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

#1 pickup line

I've heard them all and this is arguably the best one. Caught me slippin' cause I was trying to drink when I read this one.

My contribution and the 1st and last time I've ever tried to use a pickup line...


I made a fake list of random things jotted down on a piece of paper and wrote "Scavenger Hunt" at the top. The last item was left blank and titled, "cute girl's phone number." I went up to a chick and asked her if she could help me out. She just started laughing and said no.

[azndoc]

I've already got the F and CK, now all I need is U.

If I could rearrange the alphabets I'd put U and I together.

Word of the day is Legs, not let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Girl you must love KFC because you've got the legs and the breast.

You must have a keg in your pants because I'd like to tap that ass.

[B18C5MK1]

i think tony montana had the best...

Tony Montana: Hey baby what is your problem? Huh, you got a problem? You're good looking, you got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you got a look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year!

[azndoc]

i think tony montana had the best...

Tony Montana: Hey baby what is your problem? Huh, you got a problem? You're good looking, you got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you got a look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year!

Hands down the best pick up line in this thread.

[usajdm]

"Dont turn this rape into a murder...."

[jfc3po]

^^^roflmao

AY! I'm gonna fuck you like a snowstorm, give you 8-10 inches and you won't be able to leave the house for a week!

[azndoc]

"Dont turn this rape into a murder...."

Fuck that's just wrong dude.

When I was a little kid I went to the park with my grandparents in Sac town. There was this bench with this phrase carved into it.

"When she says no it's rape."

AHHHHHhhhhhh

[mRclARK1]

I can already tell you don't think we have anything in common, but hell if we make a baby, that would change!!

[sw20>>s14]

"hey girl, you jamaican? cuz ja'makin' me crazy!!!"

"hey girl, you work for UPS? cuz i saw you checkin out my package!!!"

i have some more funny ass ones that i cant remember atm...lol

[Phlip]

Girl, my love for you is like diarrhea
... because I can hardly keep it on the inside.

[supad0rk]

"hey girl, you jamaican? cuz ja'makin' me crazy!!!"

"hey girl, you work for UPS? cuz i saw you checkin out my package!!!"

i have some more funny ass ones that i cant remember atm...lol

Just think of the question that Kendel asked you hahaha

I'll buy you a drink, but you have to get the money... and it just so happens to be taped to my left thigh.

[hotblah]

Did it hurt?
Did what hurt?
You falling from heaven...

[2bad240]

guy: want to get a pizza and fuck?

girl: no

guy: what you dont like pizza?

[rps13drift]

If i told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?

[Unholy S14]

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head ?

[tre]

I have the hardest time saying those corny lines. I get halfway through it start laughing my ass off and walk away from the girl still laughing.

[sl4ck3r]

guy: This is boring. I have a game we should play. girl: What? guy: You pretend your Japanese. I pretend i'm pearl harbor and you blow the hell out of me.

daaaumn if i were fred flinstone, you could make my bedrock.

i lost my phone number... can i have yours?

would you mind helping me study human anatomy?

if you were my sister. incest would be cool.

i wouldn't mind approximating the area under your curves.. (has to be a math chick)

Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Gran Turismo 4.

Should i call in the morning or nudge you?

etc.