zeitgeistmovie.com please watch

[spitfire7]

this movie breaks down religon, 911, and the new world order. please watch it, and tell everyone u know. this is the most important information that ive ever come across. zeitgeistmovie.com

[Dirty Habit]

I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when my buddy snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.

A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."

I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.

THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!

Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.

I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.

I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.

It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
http://www.tuckermax.com/images/EmbassyMap.gif
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.

I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.

I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:

Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"

She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.

I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.

I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.

Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:

-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.

By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.

I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.

I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.

During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.

By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.

Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"

My question is immediately answered.

I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.

Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.

Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this situation.

I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.

From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.

Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.

When I get back to the room, dude is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,

"Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"

He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:

"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"

[spitfire7]

that was some of the funniest shit that ive ever read. laughed all the way through the whole story.

[spitfire7]

please watch this film. this info needs to be shared, spreaded, and discused. this film has info that big brother does not want us to know about in regards to the past, present, and the future of structered mind controll. like i said its very important information that we all need to know.

[BustedS13]

a.) people believe what they want to believe about religion. you may not be a christian. i'm not. but while you may not want their beliefs forced upon you, the reverse is also true. golden rule, respect it.
b.) the government has, at most times, our best interests in mind. it gets a little skewed along the way, but over all, we are headed in the right direction. you may personally disagree with some things that are happening, but that is the beauty of democracy. you are in the minority. we can't all have exactly what we want, all the time. we are not a nation of clones. we are a nation of individuals.
c.) shut the fuck up about "big brother". i love 1984 just as much as the next guy. hell, i love dystopian media of any kind, be it book, movie, album, or other. but you're not being monitored, there isn't a chip in your head, shut the fuck up.
d.) 9/11 was a great tragedy. suggesting that it was a conspiracy, that it was an "inside job" by our government, is disgusting.

i'm not going to waste my time on this most certainly blatant propaganda. loose change was bullshit. inconvenient truth was bullshit. everything michael moore has ever made was bullshit. global warming swindle was bullshit. they're all bullshit. these propaganda films serve no purpose but to shock the ignorant masses. this leads to either fame (loose change assholes) or cash (michael moore).

if i wanted to be famous tomorrow, i'd make a documentary about how the vast majority of americans are in favor of abortion, and how abortions are beneficial for both the women involved and the nation as a whole, but because of a few loudmouths in the religious right, abortion is on the brink of being outlawed. this isn't true, but man, people would EAT THAT SHIT UP.

[usdm180sx]

I watched it. Definitely gets the mind thinking. Very interesting food for thought.

[Baka Sama]

a.) people believe what they want to believe about religion. you may not be a christian. i'm not. but while you may not want their beliefs forced upon you, the reverse is also true. golden rule, respect it.
b.) the government has, at most times, our best interests in mind. it gets a little skewed along the way, but over all, we are headed in the right direction. you may personally disagree with some things that are happening, but that is the beauty of democracy. you are in the minority. we can't all have exactly what we want, all the time. we are not a nation of clones. we are a nation of individuals.
c.) shut the fuck up about "big brother". i love 1984 just as much as the next guy. hell, i love dystopian media of any kind, be it book, movie, album, or other. but you're not being monitored, there isn't a chip in your head, shut the fuck up.
d.) 9/11 was a great tragedy. suggesting that it was a conspiracy, that it was an "inside job" by our government, is disgusting.

i'm not going to waste my time on this most certainly blatant propaganda. loose change was bullshit. inconvenient truth was bullshit. everything michael moore has ever made was bullshit. global warming swindle was bullshit. they're all bullshit. these propaganda films serve no purpose but to shock the ignorant masses. this leads to either fame (loose change assholes) or cash (michael moore).

if i wanted to be famous tomorrow, i'd make a documentary about how the vast majority of americans are in favor of abortion, and how abortions are beneficial for both the women involved and the nation as a whole, but because of a few loudmouths in the religious right, abortion is on the brink of being outlawed. this isn't true, but man, people would EAT THAT SHIT UP.

Calm down fiesty.. Did someone hit a nerve?:keke:

Didnt watch the movie. I know what happened on 911 and I already know the truth about religion. I got the my ears to the street son! lol

[Kn1ves]

Jesus wasn't even born on Dec 25
so this whole movie's point is moot

and how can the Horus be born on Dec 25
when he is an Egyptian god and egyptians
didn't use the Roman calendar.

The whole sun-set crap is totally relying on the English language. Egyptian's didn't speak English

"The Roman Catholic writer Mario Righetti candidly admits that, "to facilitate the acceptance of the faith by the pagan masses, the Church of Rome found it convenient to institute the 25th of December as the feast of the birth of Christ to divert them from the pagan feast, celebrated on the same day in honor of the 'Invincible Sun' Mithras, the conqueror of darkness" (Manual of Liturgical History, 1955, Vol. 2, p. 67)."

so, uhm thanks for wasting my life

[Baka Sama]

Jesus wasn't even born on Dec 25
so this whole movie's point is moot

and how can the Horus be born on Dec 25
when he is an Egyptian god and egyptians
didn't use the Roman calendar.

The whole sun-set crap is totally relying on the English language. Egyptian's didn't speak English

"The Roman Catholic writer Mario Righetti candidly admits that, "to facilitate the acceptance of the faith by the pagan masses, the Church of Rome found it convenient to institute the 25th of December as the feast of the birth of Christ to divert them from the pagan feast, celebrated on the same day in honor of the 'Invincible Sun' Mithras, the conqueror of darkness" (Manual of Liturgical History, 1955, Vol. 2, p. 67)."

so, uhm thanks for wasting my life

Wow... I didnt think there was anyone on Zilvia who wasnt completely clueless. December 25 is far from Christs birth day because no one knows when jesus was born. On top of that December25 is so full of pagan customs and traditions (most likely caused by combining the 2 celebrations) that you would be a hypocrite for caling yourselves christians and celebrating christmas.

Even the christmas tree itself wasnt accepted by Americans until the 1800's because it was a symbol of the pagans.

...Now Im really glad I didnt watch that movie :ghey:

EDIT* Went back and watched the movie lol...
1. The christian religion thing is way off. They should have left that completely out.
2. Everyone and their mama knows that 911 wasnt a terrorist attack. No one can do shit about it so whats done is done.
3. Yes Taxes suck and are not legal... But once again... not shit you can do about it cause they are backed by the American government and can illegally lock your ass up.
4. Yes, the "Ameri" will be the new currency. I suggest you use the info provided to invest your money lol. Maybe get some prime realestate in north west Mexico.
5. Yes Television is "mind control". So are many other things that keep you out of touch with reality...*cough* Warcraft *cough* lol.
6. Yeah... This world is coming to an end fast... I cant wait!!!

[chmercer]

that video straight up makes things up, and slants things extremely in one direction. its good entertainment but its no good source of info.

[S14TEVE]

^^werd^^ interesting though

[SimpleSexy180]

haha. good video.