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Farzam
07-06-2007, 05:53 AM
"HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+."

Matej
07-06-2007, 06:12 AM
Haha.

I see you stayed up all night.

Farzam
07-06-2007, 06:41 AM
I seriously barely sleep.

Sometimes it shows more than other times.

I really need a work-at-home job...i'd be richhhh.

DOOK
07-06-2007, 07:10 AM
that's funny as shit right there reps fo joo

bamaboy
07-06-2007, 10:06 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

cough cough....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA

+rep to farzam.....

tacotacotaco
07-06-2007, 10:08 AM
Damn i remember reading this like years ago. Clever kid.

C. Senor
07-06-2007, 12:52 PM
that was awesome. if i was the teacher kid would have gotten an a for the semester for that...lol

azndoc
07-06-2007, 12:55 PM
That was pretty funny shit.

sleepy_s13
07-06-2007, 01:23 PM
that was a good read. Funny ass shit man.

'90RPS13
07-06-2007, 01:24 PM
Oldie but always fun to re-read.

eastcoastS14
07-06-2007, 05:50 PM
hahahahaha definitely not how I thought it would end lol funny as hell though

Enjin
07-06-2007, 06:30 PM
hahaha I remember reading that a while back.

It reminds me of an american history class that I took. The bonus question on the final exam was "what is the most important thing you learned this entire semester?"

I live in a very racist city in the south, and people would get mad at ME every time we watched a MLK Jr. movie, read about slavery, etc.

One girl even called ME out in a discussion saying that I enslaved her race during that period. My class response: "what the hell?"

My response, "people think Im racist because Im white. thats pretty racist."

Got an A :bigok:

IIIXziuR
07-06-2007, 06:35 PM
Farzi is awesome, nuff said

Farzam
07-06-2007, 06:36 PM
^Yeah, I hate that.

"yo don't be sayin all [RACE WITHHELD] is rappaz" and then 10 seconds later they call me Osama. -.-

Farzam
07-06-2007, 06:36 PM
Farzi is awesome, nuff said


Remember, my birthday is in 14 days.

PM me for my address if you wanna mail me a present/money/parts.

adrians_s13
07-06-2007, 07:01 PM
I lol'ed...

msglesaksjdkasd

Not_Nissan
07-07-2007, 02:27 AM
farzam is a character indeed

Howard92884
07-07-2007, 03:32 AM
Bhahahaha funny as shit plus rep for you.

liv2drift045
07-07-2007, 07:07 AM
very niiiiice