Take my word, This is OFF TOPIC!

[thepest]

What have you ever done to realy piss off a customer at work?

Going to try to make this short.

Well I am at work right now. . .I work in an electronics store in car audio. We have 3 rooms set up with all different stuff. There was a customer in one room. Two other coworkers and I went in to the room to look at a new box we just made. Well I got the BGs out of no where. Ripped a silent one and walked out. Cowprkers follow after a few seconds. Then customer comes out. Who farted? LOL I had the dumb look like "what are you talking about?" But both of my coworkers started bustin up. He got all pissed and getting in my face about it! WTF?? It was a fart! I didn't put my ass in his face! My manager come to talk to me and he ask "Did you fart in front of a customer?" I was like "ya, but it was silent." LOL He said "I don't even know what to say, In all my years I have never had to talk about something like this." Theres a first time for everything. Customer told him he was going to come back when he didn't have his kid. LOL I had to share this with someone.

[markyboi]

bwahahahhahaha...dats all i could think of

[thepest]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[S14Josh]

haha, im an asshole when it comes to bitchy customers.

I work at BMW as a service valet (i drive customers cars). Well every once in a while we get customers who think they own the world. I was called to the cashier to pull up this dudes X5, so i grab the key, run to the back and get his car brought up. As im pulling up i see the look on his face go sour and im thinking to myself, fuck...here we go. I bring the car up and the guy starts yelling at me "WHY THE FUCK ISNT MY CAR WASHED!" I stared at him, then looked up at the sky, to sort of, state the obvious, which was, it was fucking raining. He then proceeds to keep whining, calls his service advisor out and blah blah blah, i end up telling the guy, I'll go wash it...really its no trouble at all. He's still bitching at me "I cant believe you have less money in your bank account then my two year old son! and you have no work ethic!!! I would think you would want to make some extra money, maybe you could buy yourself a geo with that money" At this point im pretty pissed, but i just bite my lip and go wash his car...in the fucking rain.

I take his car to the back, and on the way i opened his center console to find it was filled with quarters. The whole thing, so, i took all of them. then proceeded to not wash his car. I pulled it back up and he says to me "Geeze, was it that fucking hard for you to do some work? you fucking lazy sack of shit, you can bet your ass i'll have you fired". I waved and said have a wonderful day! he drove off, and i ended up with a little over 65 dollars in quarters.

I would never take shit out of peoples cars, but this guy was 100% grade-a asshole. So, i took karma into my own hands =]

Best part about this situation is
1. Im not a carwasher
2. The car was is a courtesy, not a requirement. If the carwash is backed up, you may not get your car washed. thats the way it works.
3. If its raining, the carwashers dont work.

I guess the only other asshole thing i've done was when i worked as a lube technician at a service station, a lady pulled up and asked me "Do you guys do oil changes?" and right above me was a sign that said "Oil changes, 17.99"

I told her no, and she drove away.

[thepest]

LOL

I did valet for a bit and when I would go get guest cars that I knew they stiffed every time. In the winter I would fart with the windows up and the heater on. One time a customer yelled, "Did you FART in my car!" So take care of you valet drivers. Cuz there has been worst things done. The fun part about the job was the wide turns we had. I took a s2k sideways like a mother. I didn't alway get to crazy with cars, but it was raining that day. Some times we would drag race, corvets are fast for a stock car lol.

I worked at a lube shop. . . oil filter should always be changed, but for asshole customer they always had special filters that didn't need to be changed! LoL

[S14Josh]

lol, you think corvettes are fast.

I nearly shit myself when i had to deliver a Z8 to a customers house.

THOSE things have balls. i never got out of 3rd gear the whole time. I made the mistake of hitting the sport mode button as i was turning. It jumped from 3300 to 5500 rpms in a split second. I was shaking the rest of the drive lol. Tossing a $200k car sideways in the middle of rush-hour traffic isnt exactly a relaxing thing.

I remember one time when i worked as a lube tech, this guy came in and said he had 3 minutes to get his oil changed....this was after his oil was drained. My boss handed him 3 quarts of oil and told him to get to work.

[PaddingtonBear]

LOL who keeps 260 quarters in there car

[S14Josh]

Apparently this guy does. Today i parked a 745 with 10 rolls of quarters stacked up infront of his I-Drive screen. I laughed.

i've never seen so much change in my life since i started working there.

[Phlip]

I used to work for AT&T Wireless (which later became Cingular)
If a customer was being bitchy with me, I would go in the system and haave all their calls forwarded somewhere.
- Someone's bitchy college-age daughter?
Her calls go to planned parenthood
- Someone whose religion would likely lead them to be vegetarian?
Meat market
- Asian people?
we had this "language line," known as "The Tower of Babel" to a friend and I, where you could call and have a translator, but you had to wade through a WHOLE FUCKING BUNCH of shit to get to where you had to be.
... and lastly:
- This one guy pissed me off, REALLY bad, so I reset his voicemail password, then sent a text to my boy Jamal to call and change his voicemail greeting... To 2 minutes of the "SAY ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKIN WORD!!!" part of this exchange:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz7CcyLRijM
... and then to the "Lets Go Back to the Station House" exchange from the special features on the "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" DVD a week later.

[mRclARK1]

Originally posted by: PHLIP
I used to work for AT&T Wireless (which later became Cingular)
If a customer was being bitchy with me, I would go in the system and haave all their calls forwarded somewhere.
- Someone's bitchy college-age daughter?
Her calls go to planned parenthood
- Someone whose religion would likely lead them to be vegetarian?
Meat market
- Asian people?
we had this "language line," known as "The Tower of Babel" to a friend and I, where you could call and have a translator, but you had to wade through a WHOLE FUCKING BUNCH of shit to get to where you had to be.
... and lastly:
- This one guy pissed me off, REALLY bad, so I reset his voicemail password, then sent a text to my boy Jamal to call and change his voicemail greeting... To 2 minutes of the "SAY ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKIN WORD!!!" part of this exchange:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz7CcyLRijM
... and then to the "Lets Go Back to the Station House" exchange from the special features on the "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" DVD a week later.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: ... and that is why I am always courteous to customer relations people on the phone....

[mjjstang]

I work at an orange box that sells lumber. anyway Guy comes up to me and asks for "those things that you but on corners of walls" I said you mean corner bead, he says NO and gets really pissed now, so i think o that protective plastic edge that you put up, and HE gets really really really pissed now says Fuck you ill find it my self, and called me a bitch. I gave him service with a smile and simply told him to have fun finding it himself, then i yelled down the aisle maybe its with the faucets. and he went off bitchin and people were staring at him i just laughed at him finally and turned around. I know pretty boaring but hell i work at a lumber store. not much happens there.

[SochBAT]

When i worked at the gym, the fuckers that like to argue and yell at me for stupid shit always got more shit stacked on their accounts. One lady called me a fucking moron, and a monkey, so i kept backdue-ing her account, stacking pending monthly dues. I think i got it to like, 200something, and let the floodgates open. She got a large overdraft fee. I win.

[240giiiirrrrl]

i work at this resteraunt and im a hostess and we wear the same uniform as the servers..and everytime i hear someone say "excuse me" i pretend like i dont hear them and just walk right past them...haha im sooo lazy so i wouldnt want to do anything extra..thats the servers job

[s13gold]

hahahaha. silent but deadly KILLLLS.

i work at this resteraunt and im a hostess and we wear the same uniform as the servers..and everytime i hear someone say "excuse me" i pretend like i dont hear them and just walk right past them...haha im sooo lazy so i wouldnt want to do anything extra..thats the servers job
that is messed up.....

[SochBAT]

what a jerk ass.

[S14DB]

that is messed up.....
you couldn't tell her that when she got home?

[illvialuver]

the fart thing reminds me of workign at albertsons, i owuld be on one ilse, and than i would cut the stinkyness and go to the net il over and watch or listen to customers or co works walk through the cloud of death. ahhahaha. that or anounce that a car had left there lights on when they didnt just to watch the person go out to there car and drop what they were doing, all because i didnt like the way they parked.

s14 josh says that everyonce in a while a bmw customer acts like they own the world? i thoguht that was al bmw customers and all the time not once in a while.
esp m3 owners, soo full of themselves.

[S13SilviaGirl]

We had a few aircrew that were jerks....the guys would do an inspection on their mask and clean it, then they'd rub certain male genitals on the inside of the mask. One guy put his pubs in the mask...and in a patch that he had sewn up for a guy that really pissed him off.


Obviously not me, but funny none the less.

[godzillarb]

s14 josh says that everyonce in a while a bmw customer acts like they own the world? i thoguht that was al bmw customers and all the time not once in a while.
esp m3 owners, soo full of themselves.

I definitely agree...seems like all those bmw people have sticks up their asses for no apparent reason. What's fun is to challenge those m3 guys to a race for $500 and watch them instantly lose their balls. Even after I explain that I'm driving a old ass Nissan that isn't even painted...nobody has taken me up on my offer yet...how shocking.

As a side note, I'm always nice to people that service anything...I've seen whatcan happen if you act like a self absorbed bitch

[koukikat180sx]

We had a few aircrew that were jerks....the guys would do an inspection on their mask and clean it, then they'd rub certain male genitals on the inside of the mask. One guy put his pubs in the mask...and in a patch that he had sewn up for a guy that really pissed him off.


Obviously not me, but funny none the less.

reminds me of a scene out of jack ass. hahah. hilarious none the less.

[jimmytango00]

I dispatch for a Housekeeping company thats contracted by Cedars Sinai Medicar Center. We always get random calls for trash outs, sweep, wipe down this or that just little things like that. The mojority of the people here are ok but there are a few that always hang up on me, talk shit to me or are just straight up rude...anyways those few rude people get my favorite request..like for example... vomit, shit on the ground, shit on walls, pee, mop blood, dog shit from volunteer dogs and a bunch of other sick shit. I also keep paging them while the clean isolation rooms. They wear a full suit with face mask and some hair thing.... so everytime i page them they have to take it all off, call me and put on a new one :fawkd:

[BBSilvia]

i work at Vons unfortunitly and this guy was a total a$$hole cause he asked for double plastic and paper so i put his eggs on the bottom and the bread and filled the rest with about 20ish cans, the came back in all his eggs broke and bread crunshed and Vons didnt refund him cause they said it was his falt, oh and he had 2 cartons of 18 for eggs, and then same kinda thing a a$$hole came in and i filled his bag full of heavy things it broke on his way out this one was full of about 5cartons of 18 he also got alot of cake mix so i can only assume what he was doing

[tacotacotaco]

Customer: Hi my computer is not working
Tech: Ok look around to make sure everything is plugged in and the power switch is on on the back.
Customer: I can't see right now because the electricity is off.
Tech: Ok so heres what you do take the computer put it in a box and bring it back because your obviously to stupid to use it.


FIRED

[WilloW]

the fart thing reminds me of workign at albertsons, i owuld be on one ilse, and than i would cut the stinkyness and go to the net il over and watch or listen to customers or co works walk through the cloud of death. ahhahaha. that or anounce that a car had left there lights on when they didnt just to watch the person go out to there car and drop what they were doing, all because i didnt like the way they parked.

That's that I called "Dust Cropping". :naughty:

Edit: I straight got that shit backward, thanks dert.

[dert420sx]

^^ "Crop Dusting" i do it all the time at the office...i work in a cubicle farm so whenever i need to rip one i walk up & down a few aisles rippin silent ones. i usually hear "wtf! who farted!" right when i get back to my desk.

this one isn't really to piss of customers but rather my coworkers...i work in accounting and we sit in cubicles that you couldn't see over the walls while u are sitting. so at month's end when everyone's busy trying to close out their accounts i toss a beach ball over my cube wall and it'll usually land in someone's coffee and i hear "hey!!" then i see the ball get bounced into the air onto someone else's cube and so on...

[Farzam]

This one time this guy was buying stool softener at my old work, he paid, and I was getting his change. The transaction is over. Nothing I can do. He asks if the store card would do anything, and I tell him it'd do nothing but take off 15 cents and that i'm already getting his change...here's the convo.

asshat: *smug M3 owner look* WELL I want MY money back.
Me: Sir, unfortunately I am not allowed to do returns, you'll have to go to the pharmacy and the manager will be more than happy to service you.
asshat: Well I want my DAMN MONEY!
Me: Sir. There is nothing I can do at all. You could always go return and buy it back while using your card and save your money.

At this point the photo guy comes back cause he hears a whiny bitch and he notices the line swelling up...I had like 20 people in line and this isn't that big of a store, it's a drug store.

The photo guy walks back and he sees the smug fuck staring me down and me giving it back to him. I wasn't really sure what to do...we didn't go through this in training. So I decide I can pretty much do anything and not get fired. I LOVE THIS.

Me: Prices aren't lowering by trying to beat me in a staring contest, sir.

Everyone laughs but smug fuck who wants to say 27 cents.

This whole time I had the reciept in my hand halfway extended out to hand to him...

Asshat: GIVE ME THAT FUCKING RECIEPT.

He storms off with his shit-clogged asshole and seriously EVERYONE is laughing. Customers, the photo guy, I am...seriously about 2 minutes of non-stop laughter and no work. w00t. I asked the photo guy how long I stared at him...and he said "I counted and it was a little over a minute and a half."

Poor baby stormed out the store and the manager comes up laughing and one of the customers yells "GOOD LUCK SOFTENING YOUR SHIT" and all the customers make jokes when i'm ringing them up. And I gave the customer who yelled at the guy 40% off.

I got a medal for "Transaction of the year" too. Sure it wasn't official but whatever. BUT I did become employee of the month.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~

This one time this fat kid came in with his fat mom and fat aunt and they were buying tweezers and bitching about why V-day candy isn't on sale (um...maybe cause it's the day before fucking Valentine's Day?!) but anyways...the mom walked up and the aunt went to their car...God only knows what they had to do to make that car accomodate all that blubber...but yeah so the kid was looking at the magazines and being an annoying cunt like "MA GET ME THIS ALIEN TRAINING CAMP IN ALABAMA WHOA!" and she was like "PUT THAT SHIT BACK" and i'm like "ma'am...I don't customers like walking into a store hearing profanity with their children...pleas tone it down" so she shuts up. The fat son of a bitch put down the magazine...with the candy. What the fuck? It literally would require less than a 45 degree turn to put it back properly, and the bitch WATCHED the kid throw it and didn't care. Then they fought cause the kid wanted to get diabetes sooner and wanted a bunch of candy. She gives up and lets him get some sour straws.

That transaction rang up to $23.14...and it was some candy and a store brand pair of tweezers.

Thanks for the free lunch!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one time this chick walked up and bought some water and cigarettes and she was cool to me but then this girl came up to buy something and handed the thing over the register...many people do it. The cigarette water lady is one of this "black princess my shit don't stink I love The All-American Rejects" bitches...and she's like "um you're too close, do you think you like know me? Hah. People are SO RUDE." and i'm like "hah yeah i'm looking down cause I don't want to get involved with this bitch-out fest..." so I call the photo guy up front and tell him "Good luck, i'm gonna go get cancer." I go outside and light up and BAM! That psycho bitch comes out and is all like "LOL YAY SMOKE BUDDY!" So I just suck it up and talk about how my job sucks and I find out her "best friend" is this hot chick I work with who is seriously the sweetest thing i've ever met in my life...so I really don't believe their best friends. But yeah she leaves cause she's too impatient to wait 30 seconds for her to get her break and tells me to tell her she'll call her later. No. I told my co-worker that that bitch better not fucking get near me again or i'm gonna cut my ears off. She laughed and said she didn't talk to that bitch in 2 years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sold a pack of cigarettes to this kid for $30. I figured i've known him since the 5th grade and he's a video game nerd so he wouldn't be with the 5-0...and every time they do that underage smoking thing they always have the "undercover" cop come in first and they always hang around the front and then when the kid gets the cigarettes they run up and flash their badge and say you're going down or if you say no they run up and congradulate you for upholding the law.

Later that night my friend sold the kid seriously like $10 worth of weed for $90...but the kid gave him $100. ???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

This old hag works mornings and she always says my name wrong and then one day she nearly got ME fired cause she said I did something SHE did which is apparent cause it occured at 2pm and I was in school and I work starting at 4pm. So I pissed in her lunchbox.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

The manager's daughter is a slut who always steals shit so I made triple copies of some film she brought in of her eating out some bitch and put em in the manager's office. I haven't seen her since.

[S14DB]

You keep a copy of the film for yourself?

[koukikat180sx]

a whole new meaning for "i don't get mad, i get even..."

[iPurple_Misfit!]

This topic has kept me entertained for awhile now!!!

[Farzam]

You keep a copy of the film for yourself?

Nah I get enough in real life.

She's pretty fucking hot though.

PM me and i'll see if I can go in the archives and put it on a CD and upload for j00.

Paypal me $1.

Seriously...she's kinky.

She took pics of $100 bills in her pussy.

And that's just the beginning of it.

[theicecreamdan]

Once I pissed off a customer because she thought I was driving too fast in her neighborhood when I came to pick her up. There was some kids riding bikes in the street close to her house, and I saw them all look at me and get out of the way. So I figured 25ish mph was pretty safe. But when she got in the van she told me that she wished I would have driven slower past all of the kids. This is also the same lady that told everybody else in the van when I was dropping her off earlier that day how to get a free oil change. By calling to complain about the service they received.

Usually if I remembered customers were a pain in the ass when I drop them off I lie when I call them about picking them up. I'll tell them that I'm really swamped and it will take me at least an hour to come get them. Somehow they can always get their own rides. I almost always have a slurpee when I do get around to picking them up.

[Farzam]

^^It's the truth.
If it wasn't for the fact that almost EVERY place I shop at is somewhere a friend of mine owns/works at, I would always be bitching and getting cheaper shit.

[theicecreamdan]

It takes too much effort to bitch about stuff just to get something free. I guarantee if you are getting something free because you bitched the quality is diminished by a LOT.

Whenever people complain about something where I work now, they don't get taken care of as nicely as people who aren't a problem. If you sound like a whiny bitch you get extra foam on your beer. I will add time onto how long you've had your pool balls out. Your nachos will have less chips and less cheese.

People that are nice to me get beer full to the brim of the cup with very little head. I will wait 5-10 minutes before I start the time on your pool table. Your food is hooked up etc...

[CylonFrakker]

send me the paypal addy

[arkive43]

haha i work for the local cable isp here in h-town people go nutz if there RR is down. they literly cry, its fukin hilarious. this one lady actually chained herself to a tech van and had to be arrested......i dont know how she managed but i fear for my life sometimes....:rofl:

[Farzam]

send me the paypal addy

No paypal. :fawkd: :fawkd:

PM me if you want to send me a cashier's check.

[S14Josh]

Sorry, double post.

[S14Josh]

s14 josh says that everyonce in a while a bmw customer acts like they own the world? i thoguht that was al bmw customers and all the time not once in a while.
esp m3 owners, soo full of themselves.

haha, actually pretty much all of the M owners in vegas are really cool people. at least out of the ones whose cars i've handeled.

Its the people with the x5's and x3's that are the usual assholes. And the people who have all the cars which are a step below the M series. 550, 328, 650.

Theres always assholes though, they are unavoidable.

[CKAMC]

Before I left the dealership I made sure I told my old boss how much i hated him... because he wouldn't listen to anything i said and was a complete asshole to me because I was young and smarter than him (he thought putting a lift on a pathfinder would cause it to tip when you corner :keke: ).

he was such an indiot he took our internet business which I ran from 300K a month down to 80K in profit... how? said we were paying too much on advertising....

so for about 3 months I found ways piss him off that he wouldn't find out until inventory came about (which is right about now).

First? hooked up people with AT COST for any parts they wanted... even did free shipping because I was able to cover that up.

Second? Did you need something ASAP? Sure I will have it overnighted from New york and I wont charge you *supposed to tack on 20%*

Third: Ahh its your birthday this weekend? I will be there (and I would always come with a "gift" of some part you want or liked to have)

Fourth: Well lets say things disappeared off the computers and inventory in those last three months.....

on the last day before I walked out I was almost done shreading paperwork.......

[breakindrifts]

Back when I used to work at Pep boys I used to get all kinds of idiots.
One time this guy comes in and says I need an oil filter for my 87 Ferrari. Im like, Sir, we don't carry Ferrari parts sorry.

Hes like WHAT??? Are you SURE? CHECK AGAIN! with a pissed off look to me
I turn the monitor to show him that Ferrari is not even in the list.
Im just like yeah I think your the only Ferrari owner who actually considered coming to pepboys to get stuff for a tuneup...
He gets pissed and walks out.

Then theres the mexican gardner guys that come in, not speaking a word of english, and their spanish is too fast for me to understand:
necissto altenador para pord rainheerr.
uh, que?
altenador.
ok alternator, por que carro?
por rainheerr.
what the fuck did you just say?
*puzzled nod*
So I look behind me to my mexican co-worker and im like what the fuck is this guy saying. ohhh you mean FORD RANGER. FUCK.

Then guys used to come up and ask me questions about our rice lights, neons, intakes etc. I flat out told some of them its dumb ricer shit so go ask someone else.
Sold lots of asshole customer who didn't know anything about cars completly wrong shit. Civic oil filters for diesel trucks, carrera gts owner 20w-50 oil.

[thepest]

WOW! I didn't think this topic would get this long, keep them coming! Funny Shit!

[Farzam]

Usually when the managers send you out to go get food, they'll give you like $5-10 for food since you're losing money, wasting gas, etc....but the pharmacists always VOLUNTEER your cooperation and usually make you end up paying for tax.

Usually they don't get ALL their food and what they get has numerous bodily fluids in it...AND I come back a half hour later when it's all cold.

Ruthless.

[Ninjabread]

Some guy came into my work today (Microplay) and wanted to return a brand new game that he had opened and said didn't work. I put it in one of our test systems and it clearly worked so i told him there was no way we would take it back because it was open (we loose money because we cant sell it new anymore) the guy was all pissed and said " Ill wait around for the chinese guy" in referance to my boss who is asian. I ask him if he modded his psp (which would make the new games not work) and he acts all inocent about it showing that it obviously was and he was too stupid to know that regular games dont work on modded psp's.

He proceeds to ask me how long my boss went for break and some shit like that and i told him " how the fuck should i know, hes my boss. he goes on break when he wants and does what he wants." Then he kept telling me about his psp which sucked and was trying to make me pitty him which is when i noticed he smelled like skunk.

Later, while he was still talking i just left and went to help another customer. so my boss comes back from break 20 minutes later and the guy acts all pissed off and tells him the game doesnt work on his psp and i proceed to tell my boss that i know the guy's psp is modded. the guy gets all defensive and starts cussing at me. i told him to watch his mouth (younger kids around) and my boss told him to leave the store and never come back.

I love getting my way with stupid customers, especially when the boss takes your side :D

[SochBAT]

Hah, when working at the gym, i had to shave my head to honor my dad's passing by becoming a monk. I went to work, had great conversations with all the regulars, but when these asshole bros' came in like they're the shit, talking shit and whatnot, i straight cancelled their memberships, and put up as many red flags as i could. Stupid bros.

[bardabe]

when I use to work as a sign boy (waving the "NEW HOMES -->" signs) this supper dupper mexico guy comes up to me talking in spanigh and well im like "WTF" cause i didn;t understand a word he said. (I only look mexican, i don's speak supper spanish, just half ass spanish) but he is one of those dudes that stand in the street all day selling flowers. anyways 6 hours go by and this dude comes up to me and asks me to buy a flower, I say "sorry no gf so no can't do" so then he said I was "joto" wich im not that stupid so I say "yeah atleast I got a Job" he tried mocking me and said noone had picked me up for standing inthat corner all day. I just replied "so how much do you get paid an hour?" he shut up. lol later on when I put the sign back in my car I tossed an old wastegate flange at him as I made a turn on that corner..... those are the *snip* that piss me off.

[thepest]

when I use to work as a sign boy (waving the "NEW HOMES -->" signs) this supper dupper mexico guy comes up to me talking in spanigh and well im like "WTF" cause i didn;t understand a word he said. (I only look mexican, i don's speak supper spanish, just half ass spanish) but he is one of those dudes that stand in the street all day selling flowers. anyways 6 hours go by and this dude comes up to me and asks me to buy a flower, I say "sorry no gf so no can't do" so then he said I was "joto" wich im not that stupid so I say "yeah atleast I got a Job" he tried mocking me and said noone had picked me up for standing inthat corner all day. I just replied "so how much do you get paid an hour?" he shut up. lol later on when I put the sign back in my car I tossed an old wastegate flange at him as I made a turn on that corner..... those are the *snip* that piss me off.

I get that all the time at work. Lady comes up to me and is like bla blah blahaha clic clack! I was like WTF did you just say? And out of no where she knew english. Why did she just speak f'in english in the first place? So she started to bitch at me in english about me not knowing how to speak spanish and how I am a disgrace to my mexican heritage! What!? Iam just a dark asiain who can grow hair on my face lol, BITCH! I am not mexican. She did say anything after that.

[Phlip]

when I use to work as a sign boy (waving the "NEW HOMES -->" signs) this supper dupper mexico guy comes up to me talking in spanigh and well im like "WTF" cause i didn;t understand a word he said. (I only look mexican, i don's speak supper spanish, just half ass spanish) but he is one of those dudes that stand in the street all day selling flowers. anyways 6 hours go by and this dude comes up to me and asks me to buy a flower, I say "sorry no gf so no can't do" so then he said I was "joto" wich im not that stupid so I say "yeah atleast I got a Job" he tried mocking me and said noone had picked me up for standing inthat corner all day. I just replied "so how much do you get paid an hour?" he shut up. lol later on when I put the sign back in my car I tossed an old wastegate flange at him as I made a turn on that corner..... those are the *snip* that piss me off.
Dude, I hate to have to do it to a premie, but we do not condone racial slurs around these parts, I gotta give you a month off for that one.

[Farzam]

I remember this one time this guy bet me 1 of his paychecks that I couldn't take my 240sx around this corner going 25 and that i'd have to slow down..it's a long story behind it. Basically it's why I can't really drive too much in my own neighborhood.

This is a cocky fucker.

CF: I'll bet you 1 of my paychecks, which i'm sure as Hell is 10 times larger than yours-
Me: Get in the car.
CF: You sdha-
Me: Are you getting in the car?
Dad: Wtf are you doing?
Me: This is how I make money dad.

Like seriously.

Just cause you drive a dually and you work at a bank doesn't mean my car can't handle.

I've done 70 on that turn...shit.

You old man get up you're weak go get some Sportmax on your F-350 now.

Anyways

Yeah

I went 25 and in the process quick released my wheel and acted like "OMG WTF AHH WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE 25MPH THE WHEELS ARE FALLING OFF" and he kinda was like "FUCK MY HAIR IS GRAY I LOOK LIKE THE GAY COP FROM RENO 911 AND I HAVE THIS FUCK ME STARE GOING ON RIGHT NOW" and yeah. I laughed.

He never gave me a penny.

But I fucked up 1 of his prescriptions 1 time.

He was probably constipated for a month.

Thug life.

Arf arf.

I'm gonna go have sex now.

[WERDdabuilder]

work for pizza. we have a blacklist so yeah. if i deliver to your address...ill have the pizza out of the bag...open box and windows down. mmmM cold.

[thepest]

work for pizza. we have a blacklist so yeah. if i deliver to your address...ill have the pizza out of the bag...open box and windows down. mmmM cold.

lol thats fuked up, But funny.

[89dc240]

More. More I NEED MORE!!! I'm rotf here at work. And concocting a way to piss off a customer, lol.

[sleepy_s13]

this thread is great. I used to work for Stater Bros Ive had some pretty bad times with customers. but nothing this entertaining.

[bamaboy]

Nah I get enough in real life.

She's pretty fucking hot though.

PM me and i'll see if I can go in the archives and put it on a CD and upload for j00.

Paypal me $1.

Seriously...she's kinky.

She took pics of $100 bills in her pussy.

And that's just the beginning of it.

I got a dollar!!!!!!!!


I've done some fucked up shit at work. I managed a Papa John's right out of high school. I was cool with all of the employees their except this one driver that nobody liked. 1 night when he was leaving for his last delivery he was like "Dude can I get a pizza tonight" so I said "Yeah whatever" and then he was like "Can you make it for me". At first I was like "Hell NO!!!" but then I thought......ok, game on bitch. I picked every bit of moisture our of my nose and ass crack and wiped it on his dough, rubbed all of his pepperoni on my balls, about 10 people spit on it, and my buddy, another driver, pissed in his pizza sauce. No lie, this dude the next day was like "That fucking pizza rocked!!!" and I could barely hold my laughter in.

I worked at as a truck accessory installer, and if you think BMW owners are assholes try rednecks in Alabama and their brand new Silverados. This guy comes in with a brand new Z71 and he is putting all sorts of bullshit on it. HE stands at the edge of the shop, only after we have told him like 30 times that he can't come in and that if he didn't go back in the waiting room we would have to pull his truck out. After he tells me like 10 times, "You better not fuck my truck up boy".... he finally walks outside and starts smoking Dorals like he's a fucking coal fired power plant. I finished with his truck and pulled it our for him. I moved the truck 20 feet and he tells my boss that I was reving it and that I spun the tires. My boss new the guy so he told me don't worry about him he's an asshole. So because this guy was a dick to me I pulled the wire that runs from his alternator to his battery off and threw it away. I still wonder how far he made it.

We let the air out of my bosses tires and put like 4 pounds of sugar in his gas tank. He thought his 83 camaro was the sexiest car alive. Oh yeah, he had a mullet and wore a Members Only jacket everyday.

[Grendel]

I worked at a gas station on graveyard shift when I first moved out. On my first night, I'm new in town, don't know any people in town or anything, this kid comes in. He acts cool at first standing at the register talking to me, then starts asking me to sell him beer. I refuse, and the kid gets all pissed reaches above the register and steals 2 handfuls of smokes, then runs out.

Now this is Ramona, CA... tweaker central, so I figure this retard will try to come back. I opened a disposable camera and set it next to the register... sure enough like 1 week later he comes back. I get his attention when he walks in, snap a pic of his face and drop the camera in the safe. He gets all scared and runs off...

My boss was all happy until we got the film developed and saw that my finger was half over the lens :duh:

Anyways, even with the jacked up picture we figured out who the kid was. and that shady ass boss of mine got like 2x the cost of the smokes out of the kid.

That was such a wierd job/town... always had tweakers coming in spun out of their mind. One guy starts going down the aisles pointing out what he can use to make some meth, then asks if I want to drive him to some farm down the road so he can steal some anhydrous amonia (probably butchered that spelling)... what a whacko

[Farzam]

METH PWNZ.

So I work at Subway.

I still haven't gotten really pissed off yet.

People tip me.

But if there's a picky customer who makes me put everything on a sandwich or makes me do it some fucking lame way...i'll ring em up as extra meat and cheese, and i'll usually take off some meat or put something nasty in the sandwich.

[Gaelen]

I used to work for BMW detailing cars, we had a lady come in with a 325ci, it was blue with a beige interior...took 4 of us 9 hours to clean her car....everything was black it was so dirty....only had 35,000km on it.

I also took an M5 for a drive one day, by drive i mean dounuts and burnouts for about 20 minutes, got back and aparently it had sold and the customer wanted it now....I was thinking o fuck it smells like burnt rubber(pzeros to be exact) guy got in the car to drive off, had an odd look on his face as he smelt the rubber and drove off lol

I also at one time delivered parts for dodge, this one guy decides to ask when im going to get to his shop every 10 minutes( the order went through 25 minutes before i got to leave, and he's 40 minute straight drive) so i do a few stops on the way and get there about 1230-1ish...i knock on the door, dude looks out the window says " come back later we're having lunch"....me: "fuck you, you bitched for an hour about me taking to long, come get it now or i'll bring it back next week"....I start walking for my truck....never saw a fat ass mechanic move so fast in my life...It was funny. Best part was, he called later that day and complained about me....I answered the phone lol, he got another earful lol.

[Gaelen]

oh also...i used to work at new york fries in the theatres...people would come up" I need fries fast my movie starts in 2 minutes" I'm like im sorry but it takes 5 minutes to cook. They get all pissy and say them need them faster, so i put them in and wait a little extra time(until they are black) and give them to them....the look on their faces every time was priceless

[kdashy]

She took pics of $100 bills in her pussy.

And that's just the beginning of it.


Hahah whaaaaaa?

[Brian]

I used to deliver flowers in my old S14.
that was the WORST.

I rocked it with no passenger seat just so I could fit a bunch of stupid flowers in there. Often times the flowers came with balloons. Oh cool!!! Who needs to see out of the windows anyways??? The flowers would tip over regularly and spill GROSS flower water on the rear seats. I don't think that smell ever goes away. Several times I tried taking the big ass 2 dozen rose things out of the car and they were tall as fuck so, snap snap snap, a few roses would break off from the top. Oh well, just toss them back in or hide them in the middle of everything. That always amused me because people payed good money for this shit.

When I worked as a waiter, I liked to "forget" that I had some customers. This happened when they were dicks.
I can't count the number of times that people would get pissed and tell me to turn the TV off. It was usually like this

Jerks: hey can you tuen the TV off?
Me: I cannot. I'll have to ask the manager.
Them: Why don't YOU just turn it off.
Me: I don't have any way to. The manager has that stuff.
Them: I need it turned off...
Me: ok

then I would disappear for a while. Never talk to the manager (because i hated him)

So the customer would either leave, or just get more angry and ask somebody else.
Problem out of my hands. :)


My current job - If people give me shit, I just tell them I am right and they are wrong. Real simple.

[89dc240]

When I landscaped I would always hold the trimmer to low and mess up peoples grass. That was more for being pissed at the boss tho, lol. Oh YEAH now its all coming back. There was big tuesday, where we had to cut this section of like 32 lawns and 28 of them were huge hills for the front yard. I always got yelled at for it but I constantly hammered this one car with grass. It was a Mustang, a pretty nice one too. Which is weird because I love Mustangs. Too many times and then I had to start baggin those damn hills.

When I did carpet, we would always flag jobs. Like, call em off or postpone them cause of some reason that we couldnt go on. One time this extremely BIT**Y lady was like, thats not the carpet I picked out...

It definitley was, but it was pretty dark in her basement where we were puttin it in. So we left half of her shitty old carpet on the floor, and half of the new stuff "she didnt order" on the rest of the floor. Never saw that one pan out as I moved on to my current job b4 we went back. It was apparently already one year in progress by the time I got there tho.

Now, I can charge people an extra $200 for bringin back a rental Harley ten minutes late. I don't do it too often, only when I know the guy has $$$. Or if the are Super DICK.

[BC240]

I got a dollar!!!!!!!!


I've done some fucked up shit at work. I managed a Papa John's right out of high school. I was cool with all of the employees their except this one driver that nobody liked. 1 night when he was leaving for his last delivery he was like "Dude can I get a pizza tonight" so I said "Yeah whatever" and then he was like "Can you make it for me". At first I was like "Hell NO!!!" but then I thought......ok, game on bitch. I picked every bit of moisture our of my nose and ass crack and wiped it on his dough, rubbed all of his pepperoni on my balls, about 10 people spit on it, and my buddy, another driver, pissed in his pizza sauce. No lie, this dude the next day was like "That fucking pizza rocked!!!" and I could barely hold my laughter in.

I worked at as a truck accessory installer, and if you think BMW owners are assholes try rednecks in Alabama and their brand new Silverados. This guy comes in with a brand new Z71 and he is putting all sorts of bullshit on it. HE stands at the edge of the shop, only after we have told him like 30 times that he can't come in and that if he didn't go back in the waiting room we would have to pull his truck out. After he tells me like 10 times, "You better not fuck my truck up boy".... he finally walks outside and starts smoking Dorals like he's a fucking coal fired power plant. I finished with his truck and pulled it our for him. I moved the truck 20 feet and he tells my boss that I was reving it and that I spun the tires. My boss new the guy so he told me don't worry about him he's an asshole. So because this guy was a dick to me I pulled the wire that runs from his alternator to his battery off and threw it away. I still wonder how far he made it.

We let the air out of my bosses tires and put like 4 pounds of sugar in his gas tank. He thought his 83 camaro was the sexiest car alive. Oh yeah, he had a mullet and wore a Members Only jacket everyday.

hahahaha you rubbed his pepperoni on your balls? fuck im in tears

[SochBAT]

I love these stories.

OffTopic, but OnTopic.

[jilo]

pizza delivery was fun, orders are easily fucked up/eaten when i dont like you.
also when drivers dicked off, or i just had to get someone back, i used to tie shit to peoples cars. like say a very large flattened cardboard box, tied to your tow hook wit 5 feet of plastic cord. id hide it so they couldnt see it as they backed out and then end up having a 3x4 brown rectangle following their car on delivery. one guy actually got that treatment with about 10 fish heads bouncing down the road behind his car.

[tacotacotaco]

Hiding the TP from co workers..........How long before they start yelling for help and who do you think is walkin around with a dirty ass.

[bamaboy]

Hiding the TP from co workers..........How long before they start yelling for help and who do you think is walkin around with a dirty ass.
thats funny as.....well.....shit. Speaking of, I gotta go turn 2 myself.