Remember This At Christmas Time

[S13SilviaGirl]

REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

According to the Alaska Department of Fish

and Game, while both male and female reindeer

grow antlers in the summer each year, male

reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning

of winter, usually late November to mid-

December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after

they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY

historical rendition depicting

Santa's reindeer,

EVERY single one of them,

from Rudolph to Blitzen,

had to be a girl.

We should've known...

ONLY women would be able to drag

a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit

all around the world in one night

and not get lost.

[koukikat180sx]

hahhaha... werd!!!!!!!!!! :) that's a good one. how are you liking your puppy? you're so lucky you got one. I've been bugging the mr. to buy me one too. haha... instead i get brand new s13 window moldings. :P heehee.

[CrazyIvan]

LIES LIES AND MORE LIES

(...)all around the world in one night

and not get lost. <--- yeah right

[snatch13]

lol I don't agree with this not getting lost stuff... every girl I know sucks with directions...

good stuff tho :)

[Phlip]

No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau.

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to: park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" could pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.09 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

[airsoft]

^ haha you have a lot of time. Play with Samson!

[Phlip]

^ haha you have a lot of time. Play with Samson!
No, that was a copy/paste, I am a writer, but not a mathematician.
Someone else posted that on here a LONG time ago

[S13SilviaGirl]

hahaha Phil! good one!

[azndummie]

LOL what the, uhhh yeah girls mostly have a better memory at directions though

[soreballz]

My personal experience... I have NEVER meet a female that was good with directions. Hell, in the last two weeks alone, I've gotten lost five times due to the horrible directions given to me by my girlfriend and her friends. lol

[SimpleSexy180]

lol I don't agree with this not getting lost stuff... every girl I know sucks with directions...

good stuff tho :)

LMFAO!!!!! +1 for you1!!!

[aznpoopy]

Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

lmao. had me rolling.

[A Spec Products]

But besides all that, there's still not enough girls here on Zilvia.

More girls please.

Turn down the volume on the DUDE knob.

[SimpleSexy180]

logan im sure you know all the chickas.

[A Spec Products]

logan im sure you know all the chickas.

Oddly enough no.

Only car guy groupies.

:(

Sigh.