What do you do when a telemarketer calls?

[Ritz S14]

Ok. Before I'd be patient with them, listen blah blah blah..then I'd fall for their gimmic. I did this once with my phone company. It pissed me the F*()) off cause, I told them I wanted "A", but not "B", but they gave me both. So, from then on I said fuck it. Anyone who calls with a sales pitch is getting the sore thumb.

These guys are getting smart. They want to set up interviews with you. So I just blow them off with "not interested". They ask "why not?", I say "Cause I don't feel like it. End.

This all happens when I'm at work. Cause I'm a one man shop, so I gets antsy with BS phone calls.

Also, from time to time.. I get what I call "ghost calls". I pick up, no one answers.. wtf. .I hang up, it calls me right back, and nothing.. That happens about every other week.

I'm also getting a call for "Tanya Meyers", man.. I've been at this location for ~18 months, and I'm still getting calls for this chick.. WTF!! haha

There's also the cop who is working for a charity that calls. I've spoken to a few police officers, and they both say that those aren't actual cops. They're fools who try to scam you out of $12, and they only donate maybe 2% of wha tthey generate.

When I started getting massive sales calls.. The phone would ring.. I'd pick up and answer. If there's no response in 2 seconds, I hang up. Usually within that 2 seconds, the person on the other line is looking up info on you, so it takes them a second to see who they're talking to.

To those people who call, and talk FOREVER!! They call.. and ask for xxxx, I say, "yes, speaking..." they say you've won a trip to bblah blah blah.. and I just let the phone sit while I walk around the shop and do my duties.. Then I come across the phone again, they're still talking!! HAAHAHAH WTF!! Then.. I finally hear them say "hello?? hello?" and I just laugh. Sometimes I just let them listen to the radio.. haha


I don't mean to offend anyone, but I'm REALLY NOT intersted in ANY BS phone calls whatsoever.

Oh yeah one last one.. I get calls about meeting up with the president for dinner.. Yeah, like I'm REALLLLLY going to fall for that one.

Some of the stuff is funny, but I could definately live with out it.

/rant

[Andrew Bohan]

one time when i lived with my parents, we got like 5 calls durring dinner. on the 6th call, they asked for my mom, so i told them she was dead. it turned out they were her credit card company so i was like shit god dammit. then i had to explain that she wasn't actually dead and we just had a lot of telemarketers call.

usually i just say no and hang up.

[koukidough]

I come across the phone again, they're still talking!! HAAHAHAH WTF!! Then.. I finally hear them say "hello?? hello?" and I just laugh. Sometimes I just let them listen to the radio.. haha


Hahaha I have that same nasty habit but without the laugh. I put them on the radio or let them listen to the television.

I love telemarketers they are a blast. When I get a call I turn on the speaker and leave the phone on forever until they say "hello, hello?" It's amazing how long they babble and don't realize I am not replying its funny. I mean when they call they dont even give you time to talk. I love to hear the "click" sound when they hang-up. Haha they end up hanging up instead of me :)

[dannyboi]

I did what Seinfield did:

Me: Can you leave me your home number and I'll call you back?
Them: I'm afraid I can't do that.
Me: Oh, you don't like people bothering you at home?
Them: Correct.
Me: Well, now you know how I feel.

CLICK

But now I just hang up while they are still talking.

[Irukandji]

Whenever they ask for my parents I just pretend to cry and say they're dead. It usually works.

Other than that, I usually just let them talk until they finally say "hello?". Then I say "oh yeah, forgot you were talking, oh well"

[L1ama]

One time I received a phone call, 3 of my friends were over, and I didn't even speak, and this person spoke like it was just some recording, being played on the call, my phone was on speaker, and my friend grabs the phone and screams STFU, and then there is actually a lady calling, and she is like whaaat, what did I do, my friend screamed so loud, he thought it would be funny because I used to get these calls that are some automatically played bullshit, except for this one, good memories.

[nistech]

its fun to practice sound boards on them

[ranisron]

when telemarketers call, I ask them if they know who I am... They say, you are Mr. XX. I say: "yeah, you are right, plus I am Mr. XXX CPA, MBA, and JD, which means you don't want to FUCK with me or I will sue your ass".

In reality, I will be an MBA this May, and CPA this year... I dunno about the JD though.

[dorifto-san4o8]

i just hang up

[aznpoopy]

i tell them flat out that i am not interested (interrupting them), and i inform them that i am hanging up and ask them to please no longer call this number.

[kingsol]

i tell them to "hold on."

[Fitzy]

I tell them that i'm the babysitter and if they know what to do if a baby has swallowed an entire bottle of tyonel.......



usually good for bring out some emotions in them then telling the "fuck it, i'm sure he's just napping"

[SochBAT]

HAHAAH, OMG this is funny.

I did this during sales (but wasn't a dick about it and actually did take people off the call list) and it sometimes did bug people.

"Hey there ____, this is ____ from DoucheBag HourFitness. Your buddy (insert random name here) just signed up here, and highly regarded you, and set up to offer you a (x amount of days) day pass for our club. You get to come in, use the weights, get in some awesome exercise, and pretty much check out what we've got to offer. Afterwards, if you find the gym suits your needs, we can go over how we can institute fitness into your life. Sound good, ______? Great, now i've got an opening for an appt @ 4pm or 6pm. Whats more convenient for you?"

I always halfassed it and improv the convo, as not to sound liek a robot.

"Hey ____, your buddy ____ put you down on a guestlist, so that gives you a 14day pass. If you want, we can talk about pricing, but i wouldn't want you to buy without tryin. Gimme a call @ ________, and we'll work things out in your favor."

Therefore, i sucked at sales, as my morals conflicted that.

Back to topic, when i get called, i don't feel bad being shitty with em. So i sell em on gym memberships.

Pretty awesome when i got them on the crappiest memberships with the highest monthly rates. :wiggle:

[kazuo]

I hang up.

Seriously.

Sign up your #'s on the Do Not Call List.

Problem solved, I *never* get that shit anymore.

[OdessaS13]

yup my second job while i was in HS was telemarketing for the SF chronicle, who didnt. needless to say i quit after a week, the most horrible week of my life. I honestly felt morally wrong and disturbed when i'd call and some 80 year old lady would pick up and yell at me. Like shit im just trying to sell a newspaper, cheeel!!!, but yeah it was an old ibm randomly diling numbers and you would ussually press two buttons, one for the IBM to start dialing and one for it to stop when you needed a break. 4 hours a day/ 4 days a week getting yelled at by strangers...hella not worth their shitty paycheck

[Nan Desu Ka?!]

rofl @ the babysitter one, i gotta try that. I usually just start speaking spanish REALLY fast, and REALLY loud. that usually does the trick. if not, i just start screaming at my "wife" to stfu before i bring out the brass knuckles... if the spanish doesnt make them hang up, that sure does :p

fuck do not call lists, have fun with them. yes i think im distrubed as well, no you dont have to tell me.

[rainier]

im usually not a jackass or anything but sometimes im just so annoyed that when they ask for the person whoever it is, i tell em to hold on and put the phone down for a minute, i go back to the phone after that and tell them that they are coming and leave the phone unhooked. ive done it only a couple times..

i usually dont answer my house phone, i live in santa ana, where alot of mexicans live so usually i cant understand those telemarketers. lol

[lucky7]

"are you Mr. XXX?"
me: no.
"is he available?"
me: no.
"can you tell me when a goodtime to call back would be?"
me: no.

click.


my mom on the other hand, gets a little more creative.

"is this MRS. XXX?"
mom: no im sorry, this is the house keeper. they are vacationing in europe for the rest of the year. they have a beautiful villa in italy. is this important??
"uhhh, ok...thank you for your time."

she always makes up crazy shit like that. i think its hilarious.

[Phlip]

We don't use a landline phone anymore, so telemarketers never call us, but I used to have a special way of handling them:
http://www.zilvia.net/f/showthread.php?t=21693
... some other people chimed in with some good shit too.

[infinitexsound]

whats histerical is that i get chinese telemarketers... and i dont even speak chinese daymn it..V didnt u sign up for the gov. do not call list? i did i hardly get as much telecrap as i use to..... oh well just hang up the phone..

[Ritz S14]

I did sign up for it. It's for residentials only.. haha I'm not even home most of the time to notice.

[SimpleS14]

In reality, I will be an MBA this May, and CPA this year... I dunno about the JD though.


what's that?


I don't get such calls anymore after signing up on that list. I do get calls from my credit card companies trying to get me to use my credit cards more in various ways...I just politely say I'm not interested.

[KA24DESOneThree]

The last time a telemarketer called I just let out a huge sigh and said "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... no."

One time a telemarketer called during a rather eventful sniping match in BF:1942 Desert Combat. I picked up the phone, saw an enemy sniper, cranked the volume, and took the shot. I cheered then hung up.

[theicecreamdan]

The last time a telemarketer called I just let out a huge sigh and said "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... no."

One time a telemarketer called during a rather eventful sniping match in BF:1942 Desert Combat. I picked up the phone, saw an enemy sniper, cranked the volume, and took the shot. I cheered then hung up.

jhahahah... I never remember to try these fun things I just hang up.

[Andrew Bohan]

i got a call the other day from a web development company that offered to redesign my web sites and get me a better hosting plan... why would a guy who designs web sites pay some company to design his web sites?? and their hosting cost like 3x what i'm paying. idiots.

[Mervyn]

You can always put yourself on the "Do Not Call" list.

[ThatGuy]

You can always put yourself on the "Do Not Call" list.

Been discussed already. It doesn't do Ritz any good because they are calling his business phone, which can't be put on the list. The list is for residential numbers. But thank you for the suggestion. :bow:

[SpeedMonkeyInc]

i tell them to "hold on."


HAHA yes!!

Back in the day when I still had a land line I would just set down the phone and leave it on the line. Even if it only took them 30 seconds to figure out I was not there anymore, it slowed them down a little.

[MrBrightSide]

I try not to be rude so I just hang up :bow:

[!Zar!]

I don't have too many telemarketing calls. But I do recieve calles for some asian kid on my cell phone. Still to this day and I've had this number for years.

Best call for this kid was when some dude thought I stole the cell phone and was using it for myself.

[riubens]

hey guys I work collections for a bank charge off accounts,,people think that am a telemarketer sometimes but when I tell them that am verifying their assets and will 1099 their taxes and why they are paying their other accounts and not me thats when the catch a hart attack lol .I do not play games with dead beats that have the money in their checking acct with us but will not pay credit card hahahaha I shut down their debit card early in the morning hahahahahaha.

[sr240mike]

I heard this one on Maxim Radio and totally agree with it. You phone rape the telemarketer. As soon as they start their speech you start to verbally rape them. For example, "Im tearing off your clothes with my 10" knife while you scream for mercy but no one hears your calls because your mouth is ducktaped as are your hands behind your back. My pitbull is biting your nuts covered with honey while you mom watches in excitement with a cucumber up her a$$." The only thing they can do is hang up and never call you again. Hopefully you will have disturbed them to the point of swithing careers.

[Romeyo07]

Watch Boiler Room...there's a scene where he gets a call from the local news paper. That's what I do.

[Neejay]

When I started getting massive sales calls.. The phone would ring.. I'd pick up and answer. If there's no response in 2 seconds, I hang up. Usually within that 2 seconds, the person on the other line is looking up info on you, so it takes them a second to see who they're talking to.
That's exactly what I used to do when I lived at home with my mom (moved out so I only have a cell phone now). That usually worked 99% of the time. I caught on that there was always a slight pause from when I answered the phone, to when someone on the other end actually said something.

[axiomatik]

...I'm also getting a call for "Tanya Meyers", man.. I've been at this location for ~18 months, and I'm still getting calls for this chick.. WTF!! haha...


Back when I was in college, the phone number for my land line used to belong to an elementary school (possibly the main number). Since I didn't schedule classes in the morning, I didn't wake up until between 9-11am, but I kept getting phone calls waking me up at like 6:30 in the morning from parents trying to call their kids in sick from school :rant:. Happened for well over a year after I got that phone number. Pissed me off to no end. Since I haven't had a land line for 3 years, and my cell is listed on the do-not-call list, I never have that problem anymore. Sucks that businesses can't sign up.

[ciGARRETTsRbad4u]

I would try and sell them something. Probably some weird like pinecones or spoons.

[axiomatik]

tell you've got some KA parts for sale, see how much they'll offer for your stock airbox. Then keep pestering them about other stuff you have lying around :rofl:

[alexchanman]

i whip out the deep chinese accent that or hang up.