Chuck Norris Can Kick Ur A$$

[sykikchimp]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

and by the way.. my car is totaled :(

[ALTRNTV]

Those Chuck Norris facts never cease to make me laugh.

Isn't this a repost though? I could have sworn I've seen these before on here...

What happened to your car?

[ohnobigtdawg]

Helen Keller is an example of someone Chuck Norris let off easy.... HAHAHA

[ALTRNTV]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

HAHAHAHAHA

On another note, do you remember in that one Bruce Lee movie with Chuck Norris, Bruce ripped Chuck's chest hair off, haha.

[RSP13-Sideways]

I said it before and I'll say it again, Bruce Lee kicked Chucks ass hahahaha.....

Do you remember how hairy Chuck Norris was in that movie. Bruce Lee didn't even do it on purpose, he just had sooooo much damn hair haha....

[ALTRNTV]

Chuck Norris' doesn't get haircuts. His hair cuts themselves.

[fliprayzin240sx]

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes


FUNNY

[Yoshi]

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

and by the way.. my car is totaled :(

"Fucking Chuck Norris".
Bruce Lee is where it's at.

What happened to the car?
I can't believe no one asked that... wtf

Who gives a rat's ass about fucking chuck norris, what happened to your ride man?!

[ZK]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/katyblue79/chucknorris.gif

[RSP13-Sideways]

Bruce Lee for the win!

http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/medias/nmedia/18/35/56/57/18407069.jpg

http://www.bruceleereview.co.uk/cc_images/waylobby4.jpg

[sykikchimp]

Some dude backed into my rear driver side fender and banged it all to hell.. ~$2500 damages. Insurance is totaling it.

Hoping to get a 350Z in the very near future. :)

I'll post some pics when I get a chance to take them this weekend.

[SilviaDriver]

Deleted for reason stated below.
banners may not be work safe

[ThatGuy]

Sorry SilviaDriver, it was probably a cool video. But the banners were too much. Can't allow links to pages with banners like that.

[SilviaDriver]

yea its kool ThatGuy, ill try n find another link, im sure you guys will get a good laugh outta this one

http://poststuff5.entensity.net/012706/chuck.wmv

that link should be kool, you click it and it will ask if u wanan open or save so you wont see any pages

[Titan]

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

[Yoshi]

yea its kool ThatGuy, ill try n find another link, im sure you guys will get a good laugh outta this one

http://poststuff5.entensity.net/012706/chuck.wmv

that link should be kool, you click it and it will ask if u wanan open or save so you wont see any pages

FORBIDDEN

:(

what was it?

[psychoblue23]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

HAHAHAHAHA

On another note, do you remember in that one Bruce Lee movie with Chuck Norris, Bruce ripped Chuck's chest hair off, haha.


haha omg those are funny!

PS... sorry about your car :(

[420sx]

Chuck is the man. cant touch this.

[dannyboi]

During tax season, Chuck Norris sends in a blank tax form along with this picture:

http://mike.wordpress.com/files/2005/12/chuck_norris_1.jpg

Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

[nistech]

these facts make the best away messages :)

[ManoNegra]

these facts make the best away messages :)

damn... you're on to me.

Superman owns a set of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC claiming Law and Order are the copyrighted names of his right and left legs.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Aliens exist, they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die.

[TheTimanator]

there was a thread like about schwarzenegger a while back. In fact I think some of the facts are the same...still funny though.

[L1ama]

Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, teeth brush Chuck Norris.

[kazuo]

Just remember that Bruce Lee invited Chuck to do the film, out of respect.

Chuck is the shit, I love those fuckin 80's movies.

[ManoNegra]

http://poststuff5.entensity.net/013006/image.php?pic=chucknorrisdead.jpg

[dannyboi]

http://poststuff5.entensity.net/013006/image.php?pic=chucknorrisdead.jpg

LMFAO

My heart stopped when I read the headline, but realized it hadn't been on the news... and this story would have been 10 times more important than when JFK was shot.

[S14-vietusmc]

Just remember that Bruce Lee invited Chuck to do the film, out of respect.

Chuck is the shit, I love those fuckin 80's movies.

I'll have to agree with that. Chuck is a bad motherfcuker. Before he was a "movie star," he was badass in the ring and tournaments. He'd probably kick most of the people's asses on this forum, at the same time....

[sweet89s13]

i have never laughed so hard in my life!!!! funnnyy shiiitttt

[theicecreamdan]

I'll have to agree with that. Chuck is a bad motherfcuker. Before he was a "movie star," he was badass in the ring and tournaments. He'd probably kick most of the people's asses on this forum, at the same time....

If I remember, he was the only student of Bruce Lee that ever defeated him in a match.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

[YellwMonky]

What Mentos is to freshness, Chuck Norris is to pain.

Chuck Norris will never die, Chuck Norris will just be done.

[91rusty240sx]

hahaha my friend from work told me some of this stuff, people were looking at me funny cause i kept on busting up laughing.

[ALTRNTV]

I found Chuck Norris' weakness... a rafting paddle.

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/9868/chuck4kc6oa.gif

[L1ama]

LOL I just knew he was vulnerable to something, I guess we just found what hes vulnerable to

[alexchanman]

chuck norris is the only person who can touch mc hammer

[s14turbosilvia]

Yoda was actually a large black man before he made the mistake of saying "Sucks, Chuck Norris does."

[s13_speed]

yeah he is pretty freakin sweet

[Nan Desu Ka?!]

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Anyone can piss on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.

Chuck Norris can hear silence.


HAHAHHAHA. no matter how many chuck norris things i see, i still laugh so hard i tear up... ever time.

[ae86driftn]

Chuck Norris is the Man.

[Phlip]

http://www.zilvia.net/f/showpost.php?p=841304&postcount=26

[OMGWTFBBQ]

whoever wrote all those is just ripping off Maddox's ( Best page in the universe, or Real Ultimate Power ) style of writing. They must have read all his shit, choose some random lame ass person ( chuck norris ) and came up with all these ridiculous, somewhat clever 'facts'